Hi friends.
So, we are going to do a very important topic
today and these are two lectures 11 and 12.
Presently we will do lecture 11, An Introduction
to Body Language.
So, body language in short is called kinesics
and kinesics comes from kinetic that is the
energy due to movement.
This is all about the language of the body
when the parts of the body move.
Then it communicates a message and body language
is therefore, very important for the overall
message you communicate.
We have also to remind you once again that
your verbal communication or the words you
used in your message is carrying less weightage.
You know the percentage, then body language.
Body language is carrying almost 93 percent
of the message value of the communicative
act.
So, let us have the concepts we are going
to cover in this lecture made clear to you.
In the first part I will be covering oculesics
or eye behavior.
Then we will be doing facial expressions,
posture and gesture.
In fact, body language is basically these
four.
We will move further and in the second part
of this lecture I will cover eye communication,
facial expressions, posture and movement gestures;
once again dress and appearance, voice and
delivery and non-words or non-fluencies or
non-sequiturs or non-linguistic utterances.
Let us move to the definition of kinesics
once again.
It has been defined as the study of human
body motion and popularly referred to as “Body
Language” in general everyday speech.
It includes any movement of the face or body
that communicates a message.
And it consists of oculesics, eye behavior,
number 2: facial expressions, number 3: posture
and fourth gesture.
So, there is a need to study body language.
When you see this picture, if you can decode
the meaning of this picture it is obvious
that it is a symbolic or a pictorial representation
of the famous Valentine’s Day of 14th February.
The body language of the two communicators,
communicatee here conveys as much.
So, let us come to the first aspect and go
into greater depth of eye behavior or also
known as oculesics.
Oculesics has been defined as the study of
eye movement or eye behavior.
And, this is a category of kinesics and if
you move to a greater level, it is a sub category
of facial expressions because, the eyes are
on the face and it includes any movement or
behavior of the eye.
In simple terms we can also call it gaze or
eye contact.
Please remember, this is different from staring,
staring is prolonged gaze or prolonged eye
contact.
Let us look at this chart where, we have tried
to summarize for you the way in which your
eyes would look and what they would implied
to the other.
If your eyes are centered and I cannot show
it obviously, but you can imagine it you can
picture it.
It shows that the person with centered eyes
is focusing, if eyes are gazing up then it
means, something like, this the person is
thinking, maybe thinking deeply.
Let us say deliberating upon something.
If the person is gazing down then it is a
marker of shame and if the gazes on the side,
something like this, but little bit down or
like this little bit down; it shows a guilty
conscience.
And, if they eyes a wandering all over you
know the way sometimes people are sitting
in the class, they are sitting like this and
they are looking here there everywhere.
But, they are not looking at the teacher or
the lecturer or what is going on it shows
a disinterested or a bored student.
Do not worry, I also have been disinterested
and bored.
So, let us move further.
And, these are some ways in which you can
see the eye movement or the eye behavior in
these five pictures.
And you can try to guess for example, what
this eye movement or gaze means, what this
gaze or eye contact means.
When we come to the second part of kinesics
that is facial expressions; facial expressions
is the configuration of the face that can
reflect, augment, contradict or be unrelated
to a speaker’s vocal delivery.
So, the expressions on your entire face at
the time when you are speaking or saying something,
they can be matching with what you are saying,
that is reflect what you are saying.
Number 2: augment they can increase, number
3: contradict or number 4: be totally out
of context with what you are seeing at that
point of time.
So, did you know that these are just some
small questions for you that you have a 80
muscles on your face and this 80 muscles can
create more than.
Please fill in the blank how many expressions
can be created by only 80 muscles on your
face.
And, let us fill in the second blank also
and you can understand it, the face is the
single most important broadcaster of emotions.
To move further we have this definition here,
this concept here.
Facial management techniques and we need to
learn it because; it is about the control
of facial muscles to conceal inappropriate
or unacceptable responses.
In the lab class on body language or non-verbal
communication, we had shown a small video
clip from a famous movie a very popular movie
Hollywood Liar Liar where, Jim Carrey is in
the role of a character who is not able to
utter lies.
For most of us you know lies will come quite
naturally or with little effort, but for Jim
Carrey it is a no-no; he cannot lie at all.
And so, if you see in the kind of facial expressions
he displays when he is almost being suppressed
to tell a lie, this is something which we
are talking about now.
So, let us study through this small chart
you know three points.
If you have a let us say if you have a wrinkles
on your forehead, it shows that you are angry.
And eyebrows outer edges if there up that
also show immense anger, intense anger.
And, if you have at this say nose up in the
air it shows of course, condescension or contempt;
as if you are looking down upon the other.
So, can you just read some of these facial
expressions?
These are there in cartoon form this is of
course, I could tear my hair out of anger.
This one seems to be slightly depressed or
down and this one is quite angry; almost bursting
at the seams.
Anger is just welling up to the brim and may
overflow any point of time, like a volcano.
Let us come to number c the third one is posture.
Posture is the way you position yourself vis
a vis the other with whom you are communicating.
It is defined as the way a person stands forward
or backward or erect, leans forward or back
and also the way in which the head is moved.
Nancy Henley in her book Body Politics has
defined posture as the bearing, aapki chal
as they say in Hindi.
The way you walk, the bearing with which one
proclaims one’s position in life.
If you come to, now, the two types of body
language postures; there are basically two
types of body language postures: one is open
or closed; the other is forward or back.
Now, the open-closed posture is the more important
and the more the more offered one which you
should choose, if you have to adopt this body
posture.
People with arms folded and legs crossed and
bodies turned away are signaling that they
are rejecting the message coming from the
other.
But people showing open hands, fully facing
you and both feet planted firmly on the ground
are accepting whatever message you are delivering.
Let us come to this side of these slide right
hand side and if you notice people are leaning
forward and pointing towards you maybe like
this or like this, you know that they are
actively accepting and rejecting the message.
And, if you have to read the body language
or the body language posture of those who
are leaning back and looking up at the ceiling
or you know maybe doodling with a pen or writing
on a pad or you know they open their spectacles
and they start cleaning them.
So, the idea is not that they are rejecting
you, but they are slowly passively absorbing
or the other idea is that they may be ignoring
your message.
This small chart we have got for you from
a very well known book called Mind your Manners
by cultural expert John Mole.
And, this shows in tabular form that if the
body language is forward and open, the personality
is responsive or is going to respond to the
situation.
Remember the fine line of distinction between
response and reaction.
If the person has a body language which is
between open and back-open and back, the person
is reflective or reflecting.
And, if it is back and closed back and closed
it is significant of a person who is hiding,
who is the fugitive and who does not want
to come out into the open.
The last one is forward and closed forward
and closed, this is about those people who
are aggressive.
They are in a combative mode any point of
time now they might enter into quarrel, it
may be possible physical also.
So, let us see some pictures and what they
tell about the persons who have a responsive
body language posture.
The person would be engaged with the person
is leaning forward and participating in the
discussion or conversation; arms body and
hands would be open.
They would not be closed or clasped.
The second picture here shows that they are
eager, they are enthusiastic and if they are
sitting you see this is the sprint position.
As if the sprinter is about to begin the sprint
100 meter leg and the legs would be opened
slightly apart, the feet would be under the
chair on toes as I said the sprint position
and leaning slightly forward.
The third picture shows mental image which
you can read is ready to agree because if
there are some papers, if there are some papers
lying here, and there then the person would
close all those papers.
May be put them in the file or the bag, put
the pen down and hands would be flat on the
table like this, flat on the table like this.
Let us come to the second example of a reflective
person.
I am not saying a reflective person throughout
24 into 7, but somebody who is reflective
at that point of time when you are trying
to access the body language of the other.
A reflective person first of all with little
bit listening and when we listen very intensely
and interestedly we have a slight head tilt
on either side.
I am not sure whether it can be this side
also, but yes on either side.
There is lots of eye contact, gaze or eye
contact with the other who is speaking and
there is nodding.
This is non-verbal message which says that
yes I am taking you, yes I am understanding
you and the blink rate of the eyes would be
high, high blink rate.
Secondly person who is reflecting on what
you are proposing or saying will be evaluating.
Because, this would be shown through the person
sucking the glass or the pencil, a stroking
the chin maybe something like this or this
and looking up and maybe right side.
Legs would be crossed in 4 position; legs
would be crossed in 4 position something like
this, you can sit and seat and the ankle would
be on knee at that point of time.
Lastly the reflective posture is understood
by the attentiveness of the other, the attentiveness,
the participative nature of the other.
If the person is standing then the arms would
be behind the back as we do in as we do in
savdhaan and they would be a slight smile
on the face and the feet would be open.
The feet would be open not closed; these are
closed feet, these are open feet some gap
between them.
Moving onto the fugitive readings into non-verbal
communication or especially we are talking
now about body language.
A fugitive person will show that his bored
by staring into space unlimitedly, there would
be a slight slumped to the posture slight
slumped to the posture.
Of course, as I said doodling maybe you see
some students in class also the way in which
the balance this, that they are more involved
in this done in the class as such.
And foot tapping, this is a general behavior
which is noticed foot tapping to indicate
that they are bored with whatever is being
shared.
Secondly, they would have an attitude of let
me go, it is over let me leave this situation.
So, the feet would be pointed towards the
door and they would be like looking around
that what are the others doing or when will
the door open or when will the bell ring.
Or, maybe perhaps they would look at that
time also that when will the time be over
and we shall be relieved of this class or
lecture or activity.
And they would start preparing; they were
start buttoning up their jackets because they
adjust on the verge of leaving.
And lastly the fugitive personality will have
in his or her mind a frame of mind would be
that of rejection.
So, sitting or moving back, arms folded this
is a common non-verbal body language signifier
of rejection.
Legs would be crossed in 11 position that
is right at the end legs would be crossed
in 1 position.
Thigh would be on knee, head would be slightly
down and maybe a frown, slight frown.
Moving on to the last body language posture
that is of a combative situation or a combative
person in combative situation; so a person
would be combative this can be read, the person
is combative, this can be read if you see
that he or she indulges in finger tapping.
You know on the table if this is the table,
let us say finger tapping which signifies
let me speak meri bari kab ayegi, when will
I speak, when will I get my chance.
Foot tapping once again and staring; this
idea of staring directly gaze or eye contact
with the speaker is as if to slightly unnerve
him or her.
So, that then I can start speaking because
he will stop speaking getting unnerved by
my stare.
Secondly combative persons are generally aggressive
and they would be as shown in the picture
leanings slightly like this.
They would indulge many times in this action
of finger pointing and the fist would generally
be clenched to show that they are controlling
their anger within them.
And, lastly if the person is standing and
you would like you would you know guess that
the person is in a combative mode that you
can do because, in a standing posture the
hands will be on the hips and there will again
be a frown on the face.
Last we come to number 4 which is gesture
and gestures are gesticulations.
Gesticulations are the movements of our arms,
legs, hands and feet during the communication
process.
So, first let us look at arms.
Now this arms crossed, arms crossed and the
kind of eyes you see on the small boys face.
The boy is very angry and disapproving whatever
is happening.
On the other hand you see the man’s picture
on the right hand side and his body languages
open because his hands are open like this.
So, he is honest and his accepting whatever
is in process.
So, how do you improve your body language?
If we have to answer this question, first
of all we need to work upon eye communication
and gaze not stare.
Facial expressions need to be managed, posture
and movement need to be controlled.
Gesticulations, gestures need to be the minimum
possible.
Dress and appearance need to be good formal,
for formal situations I think they should
be at the almost impeccable.
You have to work upon your voice and delivery
and take care that you do not utter too many
non-words.
Because, you see when we utter non-words,
it only shows that we do not have control
over the language.
When we do not have control over the language
of communication it is at debt point that
we utter such non-words or non-fluencies aa,
uu, ki and so on and so forth.
So, coming first to eye communication; these
are some points which you need to keep in
mind if you are working on improving your
eye communication.
The first is are you looking at others when
they are speaking or when also when they are
listening to others.
Or, are you looking anywhere else other than
at those who are conversing with you in your
group let us say.
The second is when do you look?
When you are speaking or listening to others
think consciously about it.
And, the third is how long do you make the
eye contact when you look at others?
As I said a prolonged eye contact is a stare,
it is no longer a gaze and it is considered
unmannerly without a ticket, it is not considered
good.
We come next to facial expressions and you
see in your entire data frame of the face
the most important is the smile.
And, here we have three pictures of somebody
never smiling, somebody sometimes smiling
and somebody always smiling this kangaroo
here, so, the choice is yours.
Thirdly we come to posture movement.
Let us take care of our upper bodies that
is above the bust and if we have to stand,
we should always stand tall, we should stand
like this.
We should also at the same time not forget
to take care of the lower body that is below
the torso.
Think about when you are deep in a conversation,
do you have a tendency to lean on your right
leg or on your left leg.
And, always be physically agile, always be
physically in a ready position that is what
we advise.
In a communication scenario there is necessity
to move.
Remember that, it a kinesics is about movement
and lastly despite all these advises which
we are offering you, the point is that everybody
has his or her own unique personal style.
As somebody said you know style is the man.
Fourthly we come to gestures and gestures
or gesticulations again, I repeat what you
do with your hands when you talk or speak.
Find out what are your typical habits, think
about whether your gesturing too much or not
at all.
Are you at the two extremes or somewhere in
between and when you are nervous just study,
be conscious.
What are your hands doing, where are they
going and there is a need to study this because
you need to control and external display of
nervousness.
You may be nervous, but put it inside do not
let the others know.
So, study what your hands do when you go nervous.
Consider the question, how much gesture is
appropriate to which situation?
It may not always be formal, also informally
consider it.
And, the other point is that despite all we
have said body language is so natural, it
is so inherent, it is so genetically proclaimed
that it is difficult to exaggerate too much
to try to defer too much.
Let us come to dress and appearance.
The advice here is to be appropriately dressed
for the situation, dress consciously and remember
that your dress or your attire is more important
than what you may think.
Impression management: it is about how you
dress and appeared to the general public to
the others.
Most of all the hair should be combed and
in an appropriate style, your face should
be clean.
Girls are advised to wear minimal make up
for formal situations.
They should be you know scent; you know perfume
and after shave lotion, deodorant etc.
Your teeth should be brushed and flossed,
you must not have lot of jewelry on your neck.
And for boys if you have an open shirt only
the top button is open, no need to expose
your chest and it is advisable to wear a necktie
for the business setting and look at the collar,
is it button properly or not.
We move further, the hands should be cleaned
with limited jewelry.
So, here I am wearing two rings, but actually
they should be limited jewelry on the hands,
clean and well manicured your nails might
be cut properly.
Watch generally worn on the left hand, though
I wear it on the right hand and it should
be wearing the correct time remember that
both the hand should be wearing the correct
time.
Belt if for the boys and the gent’s belt
should be the same color as the shoes and
remember that whether you have put it through
all the loops of the belt, the length should
be more than the size of your waist.
Your pants or your lower dress should be ironed,
buttoned, shining, your shoes should be shining
should be again I repeat the same color as
the belt and most important do not forget
to wear your smile.
Sixth is voice and delivery.
So, voice modulation or how your voice is
you can work upon it, but first you need to
know the kind of voice you have.
And, are you merely speaking or does your
voice resonate.
Do you speak in a monotone or vary your delivery
ups and downs in the pitch.
How do you sound when you speak over the phone,
just record one of your conversations on the
phone and listen to it; to get answer to this
question.
So, voice and vocal variety is important because
your voice actually transmitting energy.
Look at the sound of your words; vary the
vocal quality of your vocal cords.
And if you are reading, let us say that you
are reading from somewhere do not simply read,
move up, have eye contact you have a paper
in front of you are reading.
So, don’t read as of you are a parrot have
eye contact.
And in that way you will see that vocal quality
will vary.
Moving next to non-words or non-fluencies,
consciously judge which is your favorite non-word;
is it ki or ka or aa uu whatever.
And, if you are an engineer or a doctor or
a lawyer or a professional in some other area
of specialization taken of what technical
words or jargon that is professional specific
words you are using.
Take care that you are not using slangs, also
the necessity to emphasize on pause.
Pause is a period of silence; consider how
long you pause and are you pausing for effect.
When you pause for affect, the other or the
others are waiting for what important will
come from you now.
The natural finally, be the natural self work
upon your strengths and weaknesses.
Convert your weakness into strengths and learn
like a juggler.
It will be a life-long aware by which time
you will be a well-acknowledged good communicator.
These are some of the references I have used
for the preparation of this lecture.
And, I would like to thank you for being with
me and God bless you.
