Hello!
Seiiti Arata.
The body speaks ... and so there is body language.
Our facial expressions reveal our intentions.
The way we walk and move our bodies reveals
a lot about our identity.
All of this is body language and because of
that there is an increasing amount of studies
on how to consciously use body language for
specific purposes, such as seduction.
Next week we are going to talk specifically
about using body language to do “power poses”
that increase confidence.
Today, our conversation will be specific in
the area of ​​sexual attraction.
Are there good postures, facial expressions
and body language to increase your chances
of attracting someone?
Remember that body language is not just what
you express.
It is also what you can perceive.
Therefore, in seduction, in addition to knowing
how to transmit signals, you mainly need to
become more attentive to capture signals.
And more than that, you genuinely need to
become a more interesting person as this is
how your body language will communicate with
authenticity.
To seduce is to be interesting and to understand
what the other person wants.
The art of seduction has two basic components
that we need to understand and internalize.
The first is to put attention on ourselves,
to develop as a person to become more and
more interesting.
In order not to be incongruent, it is not
enough to memorize what are the movements
that you should do.
You need to really transform your identity
for the better and the correct body language
will happen naturally.
The second thing is that you need to observe
the other person, with empathy and anticipation.
You have to know how to read gestures and
non-verbal language.
There are always clues that anticipate us
if we are on the right track.
The point is knowing how to detect when there
is no chemistry to avoid falling into situations
where you are inconvenient or even harassing
or frustrating to the other person.
Seduction calls for authenticity.
Few things are more attractive than meeting
a person who is confident.
Being naturally confident generates attention.
You can also add some clever humor.
Instead of looking for body language hacks
to attract someone, choose to develop yourself
as a person.
That is, instead of wanting to use tricks
to look like an interesting person, be really
an interesting person.
This is how your body language is transmitted
without inconsistencies.
In the order of things, first you want to
work on yourself, improve your personal development...
and then be authentic by transmitting this
interesting version of yourself.
To attract interesting people, be a more interesting
person.
There are different tricks to make body language
more attractive, confident, seductive.
But you must be congruent, since any inconsistency
can be detected and cause the opposite effect
of the desired one.
For example, when a hunched and insecure man
tries to puff up his chest to appear more
confident, he may overdo it and gain attention
for being ridiculous.
In order for you to properly calibrate the
seductive body language in a natural way,
you need to practice a lot.
Training will help you to truly assimilate
that identity that you may not have today,
of being a really interesting, confident,
attractive person.
That's what people mean when they say “fake
it until you make it”, pretend until you
get it.
I will give a quick example of this technique.
Imagine that you want to be a surfer, but
you still don't know how to catch a wave.
You then start pretending to be a surfer.
Get a board, go to the beach, dress like a
surfer, spend time with other surfers.
And, especially, start to enter the sea and
catch the waves.
You keep this up until one day there is no
more difference between you pretending to
be a surfer and being a real surfer.
What we call faking here is simply learning.
Likewise, you can practice pretending to be
an attractive person.
But in addition to this practice, there is
something that is of enormous value to be
done, which is to become a better person.
You need to work on your personal development.
When your identity is well rounded and you
become a better version of yourself, your
body language will naturally reflect that
new identity.
You will not need to be calculating what type
of body language conveys greater confidence,
as you will naturally be a more confident
person and whose movements only reveal who
you are.
Most of the language of seduction is not verbal.
To attract someone, you don't have to worry
so much about WHAT you're going to say.
Some people argue that only a tiny part of
the value of a communication is verbal.
The main component of communication is body
language, facial expression and tone of voice.
That is, you need to be more concerned about
HOW you say it.
And, most of all, pay attention to the people
you interact with.
For example, Vanessa Edwards says that most
women usually expose their necks when they
want to attract someone.
[source: https://arata.se/source-fw7u ] When
she puts her hair back, she may be signaling
that she unconsciously wants the man to smell
her pheromones.
They also place their hand close to the suprasternal
notch, in this region here between the collarbones.
Another very common seductive female signal
is to point the chin down, look up and blink
the eyes.
On the other hand, most men generally point
their feet in the direction of who they consider
the most attractive woman in a group.
They try to expand their body area to look
bigger, either by puffing out their chest
or placing their hands on their hips, for
example.
All of this is body language, a way for you
to communicate with your body that you are
interested and also to make the other person
more open and interested in knowing more about
you.
Communication is a two-way street.
One of the biggest mistakes when it comes
to seducing someone with these techniques
is to be too focused on yourself and end up
forgetting the other person.
This is because most of these movements learned
consciously are not happening in a natural
way.
You saw that if you move in a certain way
it becomes more attractive and then try to
force yourself to move that way to see if
it works.
The problem is that focusing too much on you
can end up destroying your goal of connecting
with the other person.
Communication is not a one-way street.
It is not just the signals you are sending
that matter.
It is also important to observe the signals
emitted by the person with whom you are interacting.
And as you observe these signals and interpret
them correctly, you increase the likelihood
that that person will be interested in you.
Empathy is a skill poorly explored at the
time of seduction.
The best way to pay less attention to what
you do and start to observe more of what the
other person wants is to work on your empathy.
It is to understand the emotional dimension
of seduction.
You need to develop your ability to put yourself
in the other person's shoes, see the world
through that person's eyes, feel the world
through that person's heart, listen to words
through that person's ears.
You have to try hard to try to feel the emotions
that the other person is probably feeling
and to understand their perspective.
The real seduction happens in the emotional
dimension.
You will never be able to convince a person
to rationally start liking you.
This is a big mistake that many people who
consider themselves nice people make.
They complain about how others don't realize
that they are kind, caring, dedicated, interesting,
intelligent person... but that's not how seduction
happens.
Nobody keeps making a list of attributes,
giving a score and then thinking "um, from
the evaluation it seems that it makes sense
to stop liking this person who is jerk and
start liking this other person who has all
the positive attributes of a good companion".
The limbic system is related to emotions and
is always alert looking for stimuli that are
threatening or that can initiate sexual interest.
The time it takes to evaluate another person
and make a judgment about them is quick as
a blink.
And it happens in an unconscious, emotional
way, without even being able to explain why
I didn't like someone.
So when you don't have a good feeling with
a person, they may have emitted body language
signals and facial microexpressions that were
not positive.
If you want to interact with someone in a
seduction process you first need to learn
to interpret how the other person is feeling
and it has to do with being present, paying
attention and knowing how to empathize.
Observe the other person's facial microexpressions.
To develop your ability to empathize, you
need to observe the person and look for positive
signs.
In a conversation with the other person, observe
facial expressions that serve as a parameter
for the subject being addressed.
This means, when you are talking about a certain
subject and you find the signs of happiness,
then it makes sense to keep talking about
that topic.
Facial microexpressions almost always tell
us the way forward.
Change your behavior, verbal communication
and body language.
Then observe the person's reactions, in multiple
cycles of seeking improvement in the interaction.
When you do something that causes a negative
reaction, you must realize and change your
approach.
If you do something that is well received,
it is a sign that you are going in the right
direction.
You must be constantly on the lookout for
these signals to improve your interaction
Some people are more auditory, others more
visual and others more synesthetic.
If you are not sure which is the case with
the person you are relating to, it is best
to cover the three possibilities.
Tell how special they are, show them how special
they are and act to make them feel special.
Also observe the other person's movements.
Evaluate the proxemic communication.
The distance between you and the other person
may indicate interest.
If the person is approaching while you speak,
the conversation is fine.
If the person starts to move away or cross
their arms, try to change the subject or approach.
Of all the body language tips, this one is
the most important one.
You need to learn to touch the other person
correctly.
And touching correctly means understanding
the kinesthetic scale, neither avoiding touch,
nor exaggerating and being unpleasant.
Touch is a strong weapon for generating empathy
and it can help the person get used to your
presence.
Observe how often the other person touches
you and the region of the touch.
Touching a more intimate area like the neck
is a much stronger signal than in other extremities,
such as the hand, but all of this can vary
according to the context.
Observe verbal cues to assess what words the
person is using.
In addition to assessing the type of informality
in communication, the subject being talked
about, also pay attention to the cadence and
frequency.
Are you talking much more than the other person?
Is the other person getting involved in the
conversation?
Your questions are similar to a job interview
and do you notice that they are getting uncomfortable?
Open-ended questions like “what”, “why”,
or “how” are more interesting than questions
that cause the other person to just say yes
or no.
Mirroring is a sign that seduction is happening.
There are tips that you need to mirror the
other person, imitating the gestures they
make.
This mirroring is called pacing and leading
and some people consider this to be manipulative.
But there is another more valuable modality,
which is when mirroring happens as a result
of you being in good sync.
As you interact with the other person, you
enter the same vibe that is almost a mirror.
It is as if you are on the same wave.
The idea that you are alike helps a lot and
you keep talking about similar subjects, using
the same language, the same tone, the same
body language.
This can take a while to happen so don’t
rush.
In the communication of seduction, small details
count a lot and it is possible to learn.
Seduction is much more than physical beauty.
Intelligence and psychology also count a lot.
So it is a discipline available to everyone.
The art of seduction is much more effective
when you understand that you need to become
a genuinely more interesting person and know
how to identify what the other person wants.
Much of this seduction is done in a non-verbal
manner.
Your body language represents how you feel.
It is your confidence that will make your
body language more interesting.
You will first become a more interesting person
and so your body language will naturally reveal
who you are.
If you want to work this topic and become
a genuinely more interesting person, I invite
you to visit the Personal Development course
by visiting https://arata.se/personaldevelopment
