I'm Alice from Brighton from Hastings
really but I'm living in Brighton in
this basement flat. Maybe I could have
should have come out and been honest
with myself earlier, but I think in a real way when you transition because you've got
all of that life experience missing, you take
a big jump back, a big leap back.  It's
just like being a teenager again and
emotionally I know it's very adolescent
and I know it's very immature, but my
feelings are like well very young anyway.
And they overwhelm me and it's okay. It's not a bad thing.  I've been openly transitioning
now for I don't know actually six,
seven years and I have LGBT
switchboard in Brighton to thank for
that because I was just like a lot of
other people desperate phoning around
looking on the internet trying to find
somebody other than Samaritans that
could help me. I went to see my GP who
was lovely but totally unschooled and
had no knowledge whatsoever. He just said
"Oh, Alice I'm so upset for you. I really
want to help but I I'm a novice in this.
Tell me what you want." And he just switched
his computer on and he just started
typing referral letters and he said "I'll
be here for you. But it's a
learning curve for me too."  Before I was
open and honest for myself I did not
want to be around anymore.  Um being honest with yourself and how that
affects other people's reaction to you for
the better.
And you feel you can be true to yourself. And the first time I really realized that I was
going down to a writing group and I
bought this lovely new skirt.  I'd been
kind of a bit inside myself and sort of
apologetic for myself, thinking I had to
justify myself all the time.  And I put
the new skirt on and my clothes on, and I just
thought "Alice, enough. Enough from now on
you're going to be you and it doesn't
matter if people look at you.  They're gonna
look at you.  They might look at your skirt.
They might..  they might even think some nice things about you.  But at least it's you.
And as I banged the door of my flat shut
behind me it was just like some great
weight went off me, and I walked down the street
feeling like I was walking on air.  And I just thought
"Yes." I mean like I love the day
and I'd like to say I haven't looked
back since
