AND IF YOU ASK ME, THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN BRING TO
YOUR JOB IS CREATIVITY.
AND DONUTS.
( LAUGHTER )
PEOPLE LOVE IT WHEN YOU BRING
DONUTS.
BUT REALLY CLOSE BEHIND THAT,
IT'S CREATIVITY.
AND NOBODY VALUES CREATIVITY
MORE THAN THE TECH TITANS OF
SILICON VALLEY.
THEY TRY TO GET THE MOST OUT OF
THEIR EMPLOYEES BY PROVIDING
OFFICE SPACES
COMMUNAL PLAY AREAS, A BALL PIT,
24-7 FOOD, AND BY REMOVING ALL
CLOCKS AND DOOR HANDLES.
( LAUGHTER )
BUT EVEN I HAVE TO QUESTION THE
LATEST SILICON VALLEY WORKPLACE
TREND.
ACCORDING TO "ROLLING STONE,"
TECH EXECS ARE NOW TAKING
"REGULAR DOSES OF ACID, WHICH
HAVE BECOME THE CREATIVITY
ENHANCER OF CHOICE, WHICH
EXPLAINS WHY LAST WEEK, THE
GOOGLE DOODLE WAS SPIDERS
CRAWLING ON YOUR FACE.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
NOW, WHEN YOU THINK OF L.S.D.,
YOU MIGHT NOT THINK "STRONG WORK
ETHIC."
BUT THIS IS SOMETHING CALLED
MICRODOSING, WHICH INVOLVES
TAKING ABOUT ONE-TENTH OF THE
NORMAL RECREATIONAL DOSE.
AND HOW MANY LICKS OF AN L.S.D.
TAB IS THAT?
>> TWO, OR THREE.
AAAH!
♪ ♪ ♪
EVERYBODY SAW THE OWL, RIGHT?
THAT WASN'T JUST ME?
ONE EXPERT RECOMMENDS, OF
COURSE, THAT'S MUCH EASIER IF
YOUR USUAL DAILY ROUTINE
INVOLVES AN HOUR IN THE BALL
PIT.
I, FOR ONE, AM APPALLED BY THIS
GLORIFICATION OF DRUG USE. SO
HERE'S MY ADVICE-- YOU DON'T
NEED SOME ILLEGAL, MIND-ALTERING
SUBSTANCE TO BE CREATIVE
EVERYDAY.
YOU JUST NEED LEGAL MIND-
ALTERING SUBSTANCES.
FOR INSTANCE, I USE COFFEE.
I TAKE IT WITH CREAM AND SUGAR.
AND BY "CREAM" I MEAN BOURBON,
AND BY "SUGAR" I MEAN XANAX.
( LAUGHTER )
♪ ♪ ♪
I CAN WORK FOREVER!
