well i used to be a gaycel but after i
got confidence i just felt most gay men
a
basic and dumb as a trans guy i relate
to some incel content but it stops as
soon as they get into the realm of pure
hatred towards women because
well i kind of used to be one of those
so
i want to date gay incel guy no homo
though
i'm ashamed to say that i'm a gay incel
for a long time i have felt deprived of
getting the attention of men
it has made me bitter and have a deep
resentment towards them i don't want to
say that i'm shallow because i like a
wide range of men as long as they are
masculine and i am physically and
emotionally attracted to them
maybe to some that sounds shallow but i
don't care because it's my life and i
have a right to choose i want to date or
have sex with
why should i have to settle for less
just because i have a hard time finding
a date
bradley the problem i have with your
smug presentation is that basically
you don't know shit got your young arse
to sit there and tell another that the problem they are
actually having is what you
are calling it to be is the epitome of
patronizing
so kiddo you know live a little before
you talk about shit you don't know about
some people have underpants older than
you ah yes the old
you're too young to know about incels a
term coined by
my generation okay boomer
i get ageist comments like these all the
time but today we're going to be talking
more about misandry than age whilst the
mainstream discourse around incels
tends to focus on misogyny
some of the comments i just read out to
you were written by people that are more
angry with men than women
to them men are the center of their
disdain because men
won't sleep with them or is it that they
won't sleep with the men that don't meet
their own unrealistic beauty standards i
get
so confused
hello beautiful people today we're
having another conversation about
incels but today the conversation is not
just about me
it's about the 218 comments that were
left on my video titled too ugly for sex
gay incels the video was discussing
whether incels or involuntarily
celibate individuals could also be
members of the lgbtq+ community i
have a lot of disdain for incel
ideology and that definitely came across
in my original video
folks called me out for being dogmatic
and patronizing
so this time let's have a conversation
what is the incel solution are incels
oppressed unsolvable group of
objectively ugly people that are
wrongfully excluded from the joys of sex
and romance or are incels merely a
largely misunderstood group of lonely
individuals who are horribly treated by
society and face mental health
repercussions as a consequence
or is it something else entirely
treat them with respect and stop mocking
them i think instead of the media making
demeaning comments and telling people to
get over their insecurities i think that
they should put in a better effort to
make these people feel more human
instead of
monsters how ironic a gay
would be disparaging towards a
minimalized and discriminated against
group of
people why do you paint your fingers
like that be a
man i'm sorry
i didn't realize that being an incel
was a protected societal class
my bad it looks like we need to add a
new checkbox onto our diversity forms
now
jokes aside being an incel does not
imbue minority
status but likewise treating those who use
that label without empathy is
unproductive as well
in my last video talking about incels
myself and many others
expressed massive disdain with incel
ideology
more than that i pointed out the
alarming correlation
between incel radicalization online
and contemporary mass shooters
incels pointed out that this was
demonizing and unproductive and recently
have also stated that most incels are
not
mass shooters ultimately to an extent i
agree most incels are not mass
shooters
making incels out to be these evil
monsters is ultimately not furthering
the conversation in any kind of helpful
way
additionally people have started using
incels not so much as a community term
but also simply to refer to the fact
that some people feel like they're not
very attractive and just have a hard
time finding sex and romance in some
regards incel's becoming less of an
identity identifier and more of an
adjective
thus it's important to examine how we
talk about
incels i think that at the root of this
conversation
is kindness we need to be kind and
discussing incels we need to be kind
in discussing any human being it's
frustrating engaging with ideology we
vehemently disagree with but it's still
important that we uphold basic human
empathy while doing so
so let's have a conversation but let's
do it maturely let's do it kindly i'm
happy to talk to the incel community
i don't think you're all mass shooters i
don't think you're all misogynists
i don't think you're all horrible people
i realize now that it's perhaps unfair
to have a wider association
of the community like any sub-community
it's important not to make massive
generalizations about the whole
whilst there are some incels who are
misogynists and who are radicalized and
promote violence
there are lots of incels the majority of
which i presume who are
ordinary people the average person you
speak to on any day
i think additionally we need to have
empathy that being disenfranchised by
society is hard and incels are
disenfranchised they're not minorities,
they're not oppressed but they are
disenfranchised and that is a relevant
thing to include
in this conversation so of course
incels are humans they're not monsters
and we need to stop treating them like
monsters to move the conversation
forward but empathy aside there
are problems with incel ideology from
a logical perspective so
let's have a little intellectual
conversation about that
i am also a gay incel technically there
are a handful of guys i could hook up
with
but i'm not interested enough in them
they do nothing for me sexually
okay google what's the definition of
involuntary
involuntary can be used as an adjective
to mean done without will or conscious
control
so involuntary refers to the reality of
having
absolutely no say over one circumstances
whatsoever
being bound to the whims of fate
being resigned to whatever life throws
your way
most interesting most interesting indeed
incels, a portmanteau of involuntary
and celibate,
are members of an online subculture who
define themselves as
seeking romance and sex and partners but
unable to obtain them
they don't want to be celibate but
unfortunately this is involuntary they
have no control
over their celibacy whatsoever volcels
on the other hand refers to
people that are voluntarily celebrate
people who choose to have these things
denied to them
volcels was introduced to me by a very
lovely comment left on my last video on
the subject matter
i think this is it straight incels
call gay incels volcels because if
you're willing to bottom you
theoretically could find a man to have
sex with you
but it would be someone you weren't
attracted to thank you for that
uh most enlightening very nice really
lovely
i i enjoyed that comment so
as you can see here on all all bottoms
are actually volcels because
theoretically
they could obtain sex if they really
wanted to
because there is always someone out
there who's looking
for just a hole only a hole to fill
sexually which is really nice it's very
um romantic
but bottoms you know they they can't say
that they're incels because they could
get sex
if they wanted to so why are incels
involuntarily celibate what makes it
involuntary well you see
incels believe that society has imposed
beauty standards so
strictly throughout the world that every
human being is
bound by the general holistic universal
laws of beauty standards now you may be
asking yourself
what are these beauty standards well
there's no better place to
learn about the holistic international
completely and utterly
unbreakable beauty standard system than
the incel sub-communities themselves
you see these incel communities
seem to be the ones who believe in these
beauty standards more than anybody else
does
let's take a look at this enlightening
comment exchange beauty is in the eye of
the beholder
everyone is beautiful in a different way
fuck off
bullshit non-traditional beauty
standards is like post-modern art you
can call anyone attractive at that point
attractiveness is biological it's not
like human nature can be changed like
magic i think people always dance around
in circles in this subject but
ultimately some people just universally
can't get casual sex
point blank period the sooner we admit
this to ourselves
the better now it's interesting because
next to all these comments about the
objectivity of beauty and how unfair it
is and how it's bullshit and ridiculous
to say that beauty is subjective
we then have these comments: personally i
find those so-called super model type
guys unattractive
i prefer just everyday average joes
idk how i found this video but i wanted
to add me personally
i'm not really into super slim pretty
boys i struggle with my image sometimes
too but guys
just keep self improving and keep your
heart open not every gay dude is a
shallow piece of shit
as long as you're true to yourself and
are kind you'll find someone
god i love shy chubby boys where are you
all at
yeah i'm as confused as you are how can
beauty be objective and subjective at
the same time
what is the truth now it's interesting
because this commenter who leaves these
really lovely fuck yous on anybody who
he dares to suggest that beauty could
possibly be subjective some of the time
also states how he's fat and people
aren't attracted to him because he's fat
and yet in this same comment thread we
have a comment saying where are all the
chubby boys i just want a chubby boy to
date i i don't like these skinny boys i
want someone who's a little bit plus
sized so what is the truth what is
the truth what is
the truth i'm 60 gay
single, plain, and don't earn huge money
i'm not a catch
obviously i've accepted that i will be
single for the rest of my life and i'm
okay with that
as for sex thank god for bathhouses or
i would never have got laid
i think young gaycels who are having
difficulty getting laid should give it a
try
yes perhaps it doesn't fit into what
a-listers deem acceptable but you're
never going to be a part of that group
anyways
swallow your pride no pun intended play
safely and you might meet some
interesting people along the way
people that perhaps don't have the
perfect build face hair teeth
but have learned to develop something
else: a personality
it's a comment a few people have made
which is why don't they just sleep with
each other which i feel holds the most
weight
not the question itself but the answer
which is that they won't get with one
another because their peers don't meet
the beauty standards they oppose
in which case i have no sympathy it is
completely unreasonable to resent a
community of people for enforcing
standards which you yourself believe in
i have been celibate for almost two
years but i don't blame anybody else for
that because i could get laid if i had
absolutely no standards whatsoever
i'm very particular about the people i
engage with so that's on me nobody
else's problem and i'm fine with it
i was raised to understand the world
doesn't owe me anything none of us are
entitled to sex love money or success
work for it and earn it ah the
experiment is becoming more and more
interesting
the evidence seems to be leaning towards
the assumption that all incels are
truly volcels because
theoretically incels could obtain sex
not only are there some people who don't
care what somebody looks like in forming
a relationship romantic or sexual but
there are also people out there who are
physically attracted to bodies that are
often not seen as beautiful they are not
involuntarily unable to have sex unless
that's an actual feature of their body
and who they are
life is about perspective and even most
incels really don't truly know what it's
like to be rejected from society based
on appearances
i understand where they are coming from
but they have no idea what being
ugly and not getting dates truly is i am
62 and have a genetic condition called
neurofibromatosis
which causes thousands of different
sized bumps all over my body especially
chest
arms and neck so yeah incels have no
idea what ugly is
i will trade with them in a nanosecond
as you can see here bob has a chronic
condition and bob would trade spots with
most incels in a heartbeat based on
physical looks appearances
attractiveness
and you know sexual romantic currency as
you can see from this thread
beauty is objectively subjective
you may be less desirable in society's
standards of beauty
and that's unfortunate and that can
definitely make obtaining sex and
relationships a lot harder
but what really makes it harder is
incels perpetuating the same beauty
standards that they claim to be
victim of prohibiting their own
opportunities for love
and connection in the process in other
words
being voluntarily celibate
to quote natalie wynn because they have
rationalized this ideology with built-in
defenses
the solution to this is therapeutic not
logical
ultimately like natalie says incel
ideology deals with mental health,
perhaps depression body dysmorphia
anxiety general self-loathing
insecurities or a combination thereof
at the end of the day i can make this
whole video disproving the objectivity
of beauty
but being rejected from western
standards of beauty is hard
one commenter pointed out that i fit
into the western standards of beauty and
thus was less qualified to talk about
something like this
and whilst that is arguable and i have
definitely experienced rejection from
those who infutably fit into the
western standards of beauty far more
than i
at the end of the day i have not walked
a day in incels shoes and i don't know
their struggles
part of the human experience is having
empathy for journeys that we don't
understand
being rejected is hard but especially if
it's your life experience
and i can see how that would make
someone jaded towards the subjectivity
of beauty when your own experience has
been of a cruel unforgiving
unkind and exclusive beauty that simply
has not invited you to the table
and so i would parrot natalie's
conclusion the solution here is
therapeutic not logical
and i would also add that the solution
needs to involve empathy and open
conversation and a transformation in the
way that our society talks about and
handles beauty
yeah i think what hurts gay incels and
those struggling with finding a
relationship is this sort of perceived
over-representation of gay beauty
standards on social media and dating
apps
on one hand there needs to be some
initiative taken by themselves to find
out what it is they need to work with
on the other hand there also exists gays
who don't fit this expected image of
being a part of the community
i feel wouldn't hurt to be represented
more this comment perfectly sums up how
i feel about the quote incel solution
ultimately incels need to take
responsibility for their own role in
their own self-oppression
but at the end of the day incel
ideology might be completely different
or even non-existent if our society had
a completely different relationship with
beauty and self-image
anyway thank you so much for watching
the incel solution i really appreciate
it i put a lot of work into this video
and i want to say a huge thank you to my
patrons who helped make the production
of this video
possible if you do want to join my
patreon it would be enormously helpful
me being able to make higher quality
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another way you can support this video
for free is by giving it a thumbs up
down below and feel free to comment as
well and join the conversation that
would be awesome
as always remember that the world is a
noisy place so make your words count and
i
will see you in my next
video... a la prochaine!
