THERE IS A NEW CONSPIRACY
THEORY.
WONDERFUL.
WE DIDN'T
HAVE ENOUGH FROM THE RIGHT WING.
RAW STORY EXPLAINS --
>> OH MY GOD.
FIRST OF ALL, I
DON'T KNOW IF THEY KNOW THIS, WE
ARE IN THE UNITED NATIONS.
IF
THERE WAS A UNITED NATIONS
VEHICLE IN AMERICA, THAT WOULD
BE FAIRLY NORMAL.
IN FACT, THE
UNITED NATIONS IS HEADQUARTERED
IN AMERICA, SO THAT IS MAYBE THE
MOST LIKELY PLACE YOU WOULD FIND
THEM.
BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT IS
NOT WHAT IS HAPPENING.
THEY ARE
RIGHT, THERE WERE SOME UN
VEHICLES IN VIRGINIA, AND THE UN
HEADQUARTERS IS IN NEW YORK --
THERE WAS NOTHING IN KENTUCKY,
THEY ARE AT LEAST 50% WRONG ON
EVERYTHING.
BUT LET'S GO TO
THEIR INTERPRETATIONS --
>> OH MY GOD, THE UN HAS
VEHICLES HERE WITH OFF-ROAD
TIRES.
DUN DUN DUNN.
WHAT
DIFFERENCES THAT MAKE?
SO --
>> OKAY, THAT SOUNDS A LITTLE
BIT MORE OMINOUS THAN OFF-ROAD
TIRES.
WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING
HERE?
ARE YOU THINKING THAT THE
UN IS GOING TO COME AND RELEASE
POISON IN VIRGINIA AND KENTUCKY
AND THEN BE LIKE, BWAH HA, WE
ARE IN UN VEHICLES THE POISON
WILL NOT GET INTO.
NOW BEGINS
THE TAKEOVER.
BY THE WAY, THEY
REALLY DO BELIEVE THAT IS A
POSSIBILITY.
THEY ARE LUNATICS
ON THE RIGHT, LUNATICS.
DO YOU
REALLY THINK THE UNITED NATIONS
IS GOING TO, WHAT, TAKE OVER THE
U.S.? HOW MANY THEORIES HAVE YOU
HAD?
YOU HAD AGENDA 21, THE
CAMPS THAT GLENN BECK KEPT
TALKING ABOUT, THE FEMA CAMPS --
WHERE ARE THEY?
BARACK OBAMA,
TICK-TOCK, RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
WHEN WE UNLEASH THIS SECRET
CONSPIRACY, WHICHEVER ONE IT IS?
REMEMBER LOUIE GOHMERT THOUGHT
HE WOULD BE READ INSTITUTE IN
THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE WITHIN THE
U.S. AND DOING A MUSLIM
BROTHERHOOD TAKEOVER.
HE'S BEEN
PRESIDENT FOR SEVEN YEARS, WHEN
IS THE TRAP COMING?
MAYBE THIS
IS IT THOUGH, BECAUSE WE HAVE
THE UN VEHICLES INSIDE AMERICA.
LET'S FIND OUT 
MORE --
>> YET HERE WE ARE, COMPLETELY
UNINVADED.
ALEX JONES, GLENN
BECK, ALL YOU OTHER CONSERVATIVE
MORONS, HAVE YOU APOLOGIZED TO
YOUR AUDIENCE FOR BEING
COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG
ABOUT EVERY CONSPIRACY THEORY
YOU HAVE HAD?
WHERE ARE THE
LIZARD PEOPLE, WHERE IS JADE
HELM 15, 16, OR 17?
WHY HASN'T
OBAMA, THE GREAT DEVIL, ALREADY
HANDED US OVER TO THE MUSLIMS OR
THE UN OR WHOEVER HE WAS GOING
TO HEAD US OVER TO?
WHERE IS IT?
THIS MIGHT BE IT, THOUGH.
A
BLOGGER AT LIBERTY IS VIRAL
WRITES --
>>YEAH, YEAH.
IRAN 
IS RIGHT
OUTSIDE OUR BORDERS, MAN.
IT IS
NOT JUST THE MEXICANS ANYMORE.
IRAN IS ABOUT TO TAKE MORE.
ACCORDING TO THIS THEORY, IRAN,
WHICH HAS HAD MANY UN SANCTIONS
LEVIED AGAINST IT, IS IN CAHOOTS
WITH THE UNITED NATIONS.
OKAY,
UN, IT IS TIME TO GO.
ALLAHU
AKBAR.
YOU COULD SAY CENK, THESE
ARE JUST A BUNCH OF IDIOT
BLOGGERS.
BUT SARAH PALIN IS
INVOLVED --
>>OH, YEAH.
OBVIOUSLY THEY WILL
GO OFF ROAD, DO THE POISON,
DISARM ALL OF US, AND THEN IRAN
INVADES, AND THEN -- WHO COULD
BE THIS MONUMENTALLY STUPID?
THE
ANSWER IS, UNFORTUNATELY, A
SIGNIFICANT CHUNK OF
CONSERVATIVES AND OFFICIAL
PEOPLE INSIDE THE REPUBLICAN
PARTY.
TED CRUZ USED TO WRITE
ABOUT THE HOBBIT HOMES, IT WAS
ON HIS WEBSITE.
THE UN IS TO GET
US INTO HOBBIT HOMES AND TAKE
OVER AND FORCE US INTO TINY
LITTLE HOMES.
WHERE THE HOBBIT
HOMES?
FINALLY LET'S GET TO THE
REALITY --
>>OH.
YOU SEE, THEY WERE BEING
TRANSPORTED BECAUSE WE MADE THEM
HERE, WHICH IS GREAT.
WE MADE
MONEY OFF OF IT, PEOPLE WERE
EMPLOYED BECAUSE OF IT, AND
THOSE DASTARDLY UN VEHICLES,
WHICH BY THE WAY PROBABLY ARE
GOING TO GO TO SAVE LIVES IN
OTHER PLACES IN THE WORLD, ONE
OF THE THINGS THE UN DOES IS
THEY GO AND HELP FEED CHILDREN,
THEY FEED REFUGEES, SAVE THEIR
LIVES, THEY NEVER TALK ABOUT
THAT, THEY NEVER TALK ABOUT THE
REALITY OF THE UNITED NATIONS,
ALL THE TALK ABOUT IS THE
CONSPIRACY THEORIES ABOUT HOW
THEY WILL TAKE OVER -- SO NO, IN
REALITY, IT TURNS OUT WE MADE
THE TRUCKS FOR THE UN AND WE
MADE A GOOD PROFIT OFF OF IT AND
WE ARE SHIPPING THEM ABROAD.
WOW.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THEY
GOT US.
BY THE WAY, THIS IS NOT
THE FIRST TIME THEY HAVE HAD
SAME DUMB THEORY --
>> I'M SURE THE CONSERVATIVES
WILL NOW SAY, YEAH, NOT YET.
I
JUST WANT TO KNOW, WHEN ARE YOU
GUYS GOING TO ADMIT HOW
PROFOUNDLY WRONG AND KIND OF
STUPID YOU ARE?
WHEN ARE YOU
GOING TO RAISE YOUR HAND AND GO
HEY, NONE OF THOSE CONSPIRACY
THEORIES TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE.
MY BAD, TURNS OUT I WAS A
FUCKING MORON.
I'M WAITING FOR
THAT MEMO FROM GLENN BECK, ALEX
JONES, SARAH PALIN, TED CRUZ,
AND ALL THE OTHER IDIOT
REPUBLICANS WHO BELIEVE IN THIS
CRAP.
