Good morning Hank, it's Monday, February 14th,
2011. I recently saw a YouTuber I like a lot
named 'idointernet' play a game called 'Chubby
Bunny'.
Hank, the rules are you just eat marshmallows
and say 'Chubby Bunny', it's pretty easy,
watch me. (puts one marshmallow in mouth)
Chubby bunny... chubby bunny... This is almost
too easy. Chubby bunny... chubby bunny...(laughs)
This just got much harder... chubby bunny...
this one is going to be quite a challenge
Hank... chubby... Wait a second. Did I say
it's February 14th, 2011? Is this Valentine's
Day?
(without marshmallows) It's Valentine's Day,
isn't it, Hank? ...CRAP!
OK Hank I have to go to the mall, walk with
me. OK, so three things I hate about Valentine's
Day. Number one: all gift giving is economically
inefficient, but Valentine's Day is the worst,
because you almost always give people stuff
they wouldn't choose to own themselves, like
candy hearts or the necklace that my wife
colloquially refers to as 'Boobs and Butt'.
Actually, I should probably just get her that
necklace. Instead, I am buying her shampoo.
Good Lord, Hank, I've purchased cars that
cost less than that shampoo.
Secondly, Valentine's Day is perhaps the most
potent symbol of our weird obsession with
romantic love. Like why isn't 'Best Friends
Day' the biggest shopping day of the year?
Because for some reason, we think you can
only have loving, sustained relationships
with someone who you also sleep with.
If you spend your life singularly obsessed
with romantic love, you're gonna miss out
on a lot of what's fun about being a person,
...also you're gonna have to spend a lot of
money on diamonds.
Lastly, I like holidays that celebrate service
or sacrifice, historical figures who embodied
our values. But I don't really see a point
of a holiday that celebrates romantic love,
I mean if you need to be reminded to like
your romantic partner, you're doing it wrong.
Hank, so far as I can tell the only good thing
about Valentine's Day is that gift-giving,
while it is economically inefficient, is also
kind of an act of empathy. Right? You have
to imagine what it's like to be someone else,
imagine what they would want, and then get
it for them.
But if I'm really being empathetic, Hank,
I'll recognize that what the Yeti wants most
of all for Valentine's Day is not hastily
purchased toiletries but for me to have this
video finished and uploaded by the time she
gets home from work. So I'm going to get on
that.
Hank, by the way, great job with Your Pants!
...is a sentence I never thought I'd say.
I'll see you on Wednesday.
P.S. Hank Green, noted American vlogbrother,
just did a very funny Valentine's Day Truth
or Fail. Click anywhere on the screen to go
to that! Click now; you're not missing anything.
Best wishes.
