you know how to keep telling all of you
that you need to keep people in your
life who tell you what you need to hear
and not what you want to hear well
that's what I love about my girlfriend
because after my first alissa violet and
Shane Dawson video she let me know that
I came off pretty insensitive and
looking back I can honestly see what she
means by that so in this video we're
gonna be talking about the serious
subject of abuse emotional as well as
physical as well as empowerment so stay
tuned
what is everybody this is Chris from the
rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and if
you're new to my channel my channel is
all about helping you improve your
mental health so what I like to do is
pull things from the YouTube community
or pop culture and take these subjects
to try to teach you how to improve your
mental and emotional well-being so I've
been doing a lot of recaps of the Shane
Dawson series so if you're into that
kind of stuff make sure you subscribe
and bring that notification belt so yeah
my my first video I talked about playing
the victim my girlfriend was like
letting me know like she just watched it
like late last night she's like hey I
kind of disagree with you on some of
this stuff about our relationship is
that we can have these kind of like back
and forth and debates it doesn't explode
like a relationship it's like have you
ever been in one of those relationships
were like every little argument turned
into this gigantic thing well my
girlfriend like let me know like you
know she disagrees with me and I
explained my you know my views and stuff
and you know we we disagree on you know
a few things but through talking with
her about this like I was like yeah I
can definitely see how this came off
insensitive right you know that's
something that I have to check myself on
because you know I think sometimes I
worry about over sympathizing with
people but then it can swing the
opposite way and just be extremely
insensitive and what we got to do is
kind of fun
this middle ground alright so let's talk
about abuse real quick video and like I
have a large female audience I think my
audience is 82% female so as I was
reading through this you know obviously
a lot of you agree with my girlfriend on
this subject that's not that's not my
intention with this and I'll explain why
pretty soon one of the one of the
comments that really like kind of hit me
for some reason was it was very short
comedy said something along the lines of
you know I like you you may know about
substance abuse but you don't know about
emotion you don't know about emotional
abuse oh my wait what what you don't
know me right so let's talk about alissa
violet Jake Paul and emotional abuse so
yeah there was definitely abuse in this
relationship okay and it's difficult
because Melissa violet you know even
when she was talking like face banks and
talking to shame like like they to use
this word abuse because that's a pretty
serious allegation you know like with
with these kids they're young that's
something my girlfriend reminded me
about too like they're young kids like
it's a point that we talk about this
type of stuff so well well I don't I
don't know everything about this story
like when it comes to the manipulation
and things like that way a lot of what I
was talking about was you know there was
a mutual agreement for friends with
benefits and all of that but there's
some things that weren't addressing this
interview that came to mind after my
first video like it was ever talked
about in the interview life like Jake
like spinning on her like that was on
camera like Jake spitting on Alissa
violet which is not cool
now as far as the physical stuff like
when she shared the story about the cell
phone and him like dragging down the
stairs and like there's not a huge fan
personally of like this kind of like
roughhousing and everything like it was
fake and sometimes I went over the law
to people like
that can go wrong really quick
franksen some of them were real like
Alyssa said but like I don't know these
are my professional Hollywood actors and
things like that so I just I just think
that's a very risky thing so one thing I
do want to talk about too like when it
comes to abuse emotional abuse as well
as just like like women and some
conversation going on so alissa violet
discusses how she was being slut-shamed
right so when she hooked up with Logan
Paul you know people saying yeah horn
all these other things right and Alissa
father said something that kind of
bugged me and I'll tell you why but she
said you know there's this double
standard which I agree and she said you
know people are you know pulling me all
these names well they should be calling
him all those names too I don't like
that I don't like how it's framed
because basically the way she was saying
it it's like well you're being negative
towards me so you should be negative
towards him right the way I see that
negative connotation in the first place
right I don't know how many of you have
siblings or you know whatever but did
you ever get in trouble as a kid just
because you're your sibling got in
trouble that's ridiculous
what I'm saying is is that we just need
to get rid of this like slut-shaming
like I was talking about this in my live
stream this world would be such a better
place if people just quit caring so damn
much about things that do not matter all
right
like who cares who are Alissa violet
hooks up with who cares who Jake Paul
hooks up with who cares how many people
someone slept with like it is absolutely
ridiculous
that people care about this type of
thing like I don't know what year people
think it is or what you know community
like you're like I had somebody
commenting yes
about you know we had a conversation
about polyamory and things like that so
yeah the whole slut-shaming thing is
ridiculous and I definitely understand
what Elissa violet is saying because
like that is something that really
fascinates me like why are there these
double standards right - yeah this last
part of the video I just want to talk
about abuse and and kind of like my
journey and I'll try to keep it short
and sweet but you know this is a
conversation I'd only think my
girlfriend and I had up until last night
but but yeah I understand this type of
abuse I understand
emotional abuse like I'm the son of an
alcoholic mom I was told things as a kid
from my drunk mother that you should
have been told as a kid about why you
date who you date but because of my
childhood I dated very emotionally
abusive women Oh Ryan like I told my
girlfriend a while back like I get why
this is hard for men to talk about this
but like I told my girlfriend a while
back like it was a text message I'm like
you know what I love about you I'm like
you don't call me an idiot when I make
dumb jokes right you know I've been a
big deal but for me it is like because
I've dated women who call me an idiot
I dated women who call me a piece of
crap every single day and garbage and
say I'm never gonna be anything or
anything and you know anybody else I've
been with women who threw things at me
and hit me and destroyed my room and my
stuff and you know what I mean like
these are the type of women I dated like
I talked about that in one of my last
videos like I look for crazy women like
I wasn't just you know dating like women
who were like kind of feisty like I
dated women who were very very abusive
right
emotionally somewhere physically and I
kept in that cycle so when I was talking
about girlfriend about this
it comes off insensitive I get that but
I had a journey right a journey and
through my journey of recovery like I
was taught not to play the victim when
I'm not the Vic
entirely and let me explain that so it
12-step programs there's a thing called
the fourth step and you break it up into
column so you've heard me talk about
this a little bit writing an inventory
you got to write down who harmed you
right in the last column you got to
write what your part is there's a lot of
people who disagree with 12-step
programs because of this because it
seems like we're beating ourselves up
and stuff like that but I completely
disagree because like for example when
I'm writing down like my mom was a drunk
and you know she said this when I was
five six seven years old dah dah dah dah
dah like those things like I had no part
in that like I was a child I have
absolutely no part in that you know I
was a victim but what it did was like
going through this gigantic list of all
the situations in my life I started
separating like what I do and don't have
control over right now one thing I did
have control over what's who I dated one
thing I had control over was who I
stayed in relationships with alright
these are things that it was very very
important for me to understand and this
is what I'm talking about with
empowerment because when I looked at
this stuff I'm not always the victim
right and I'm not a victim I'm empowered
and that's what I want to offer to all
of you and that's that's kind of what I
was I was aiming for and I might have
missed the mark in my first list of
violent video and maybe it's because I
didn't give you more context around this
but here's the thing like because of
this because I wrote this stuff down and
I looked at how I was treated and looked
at how I don't want to be treated how I
deserve to be treated I don't put up
with that stuff anymore I do not put up
with people who are verbally emotionally
abusive to me like I just don't do that
anymore
and it's a great feeling and that's why
I get so passionate about this and when
I talk about like well you know quit
making these decisions quit making these
decisions I get it like ELISA by this 22
she hasn't been through this experience
and I think you know sometimes I talk
like more in a broader sense but like I
will say this this is why we need more
conversation about mental health and
what is or isn't okay in relationships
and we need to empower one another we
need people in online
say yo your boyfriend or your girlfriend
is treating you like garbage you don't
deserve that so like if you're watching
this and you're dealing with anything I
don't care if it's a friend I don't care
if it's a family member you do not
deserve this I do not tolerate any of
that crap I do not let people call me I
don't even let people call me up and
verbally bash me all right like so when
I'm like in the comment section and
there's people just like saying stuff I
just laugh about it because like I'm not
going to let that affect me but in my
comments is a different story if you
like I don't block people because I kind
of like showcasing what jerks people are
that's why I don't block them but
anyways what I want you to get from this
thing is to take these lessons learned
right I want you to become empowered I
want you to know that you deserve better
I hope Alyssa knows that she deserves
better right and here's the thing my
girlfriend and I were talking about this
this is yet another reason why you need
a few things you need a strong support
group
Alyssa should you know stop with a
therapist like we need somebody telling
us like that was my problem I never had
anybody telling me like Chris you're
better than this Chris you don't deserve
this like have you ever heard that term
that you dated your self-esteem level
well I feel like a piece of garbage most
my life so that's what I dated right so
we need other people to build us up and
that's why I love this community a lot
of you build each other up so I want to
let you all know like you don't deserve
that you deserve better okay so anyways
let me know down in the comments below
like what are your what are your
thoughts on the subject is this
something difficult to talk about what's
your experience with it have you learned
how to become empowered what advice can
you offer to the other people in this
community about how they don't need to
put up with that kind of crap like let's
talk down in the comments below alright
anyways that's all I got for this video
if you like this video please give it a
thumbs up and if you're new make sure
you subscribe and bring that
notification bell and a huge thank you
to everybody supporting the channel over
on patreon and if you would like to help
me spread a message of hope make sure
you click on that little patreon icon
right there you can do it for as little
as $1 a month
alright thanks so much for watching be
empowered today I'll see you
Maxo
