Cleveland, North Carolina. Republican line; hi.
Yeah, hi. I've been trying to get a stimulus check-
for a few months now, they just won't accept me.
And I- been emailin' em, I pass all the guidelines.
And they wanna sit there and tell me:
LA DEE DAH DEE DAH. SLOB ON ME-
Let's g-
[MUSIC]
Uh, Los Angeles. Jack is next, democrats line. Hello.
...What?!
I'M ON THE FUCKING PHON-
Let's go to Aaron.
Does immigration make United States stronger or weaker?
Uh, yeah hi. If you wanna stop terrorism, you need to bomb the CIA back to-
We're gonna hold off bombing the CIA, Reese.
Not even gonna have any discussion about that this morning.
Innnn... Cincinnati, Ohio. Republican, hi Je-
YES! ...Hello!
H-hello? I'm talkin'.
Yep! Please turn down your TV.
Hello? HELLO?!
We got a little confusion here. Let's go onto... if we can get Dave... on the ph-
Dave, you there in East Orland, Maine? Independent caller?
Dave, good morning to you. You ready to go?
Yeah, can you hear me?
Yes we can.
And I was also wondering if you were going to suck Mr. De-
Alright, we'll go onto Tammy. Myersville, Maryland.
Good morning, I think this idea is a bit excessive actually.
I think we should just let people work again.
And uhh, if I had it my way; I would just like a new update for Animal Crossing: New Horizons on the Nintendo Switch.
Uh...
I mean, so you know. That's gonna be a nice percent poll right there.
Wait- you just wait. That's what gonna happen.
What are you gonna do about it, dumbasses?
Hillary Clinton recently got a $600- and it bugs me because
She always says she's for the people but she got a $600 haircut
...while we're having trouble paying our taxes. Like, what a bitch! What a cu-
A-alright Jed... Uh-
I personally believe that John Boner-
...problem and unfortunately though we're no longer gonna be able to make jokes about his big throbbing erection!
Alright. we'll let you go there Bob.
Stephen in Louisville, his daughter is a nurse. Good evening.
Yeah, hi. I'm calling from Malt Licky.
Now my daughter in law, she had bought some Bartle Doo- Bartle Doo Pony, now-
You know, she's a healthcare worker.
She works, I work. You all know it.
Now here's the thing down in Malt Licky, you know it's all about "bartle doo this, bartle doo that".
Now what I'm wondering, what's some advice down in Malt-
Okay...
Kinda hard to hear from Stephe-
On the Republican line.
Toby! Good morning!
Yeah, thank you for taking my call. I just think this is absolutely crazy!
And what really angers me about this bill is its name, "heroes".
It's just straight pandering.
I work at- my family owns a grocery store. It's been like that for many years now.
And there was this litt- I was there the other day. This little boy was at the cashier with his mother.
And he looked at me and he said:
"Sir, have you ever listened to Kanye West's debut album The College Dropout?"
...
Let's go to Jero-
Good morning to you, Dawn.
Hello, I believe that Donald Trump should stop tweeting. I mean...
For a world leader to be calling Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas" at 3 in the morning...
...is just absolutely ridiculous.
And I believe that he needs a new social media platform
It's an amalgamation of YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook.
It's called "YouTwitFace".
