PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - was
something that people used to get out of going to Iraq.
That's what I thought. That's what I knew.
Oh, I was wrong. Dead, almost dead wrong.
I was a platoon sergeant over in Iraq and
chemical operations specialist. And I knew if
I didn't do my job correctly a lot of people
would end up getting sick or a lot of people
would die and I didn't want to let that happen
on my watch.
The mission that came up where I had gotten
hurt I knew something was wrong because when
we left this particular part of town there
were people there and when we came back there
wasn't a soul to be found. And I knew then
something was about to happen. As soon as
that truck in front of mine blew up all hell
broke loose. Here come the bullets, just all
over the place. I sustained multiple injuries
to my face, torso, stomach and legs. Out of
eight people I was the only one who made it home.
That was hard for me to deal with because
I was solely responsible for those boys.
It wasn't until I came home that I knew something
was off and something was wrong. But I didn't
know what. Little did I know at the time I
had made a terrible mistake by not healing
my mind. Slowly but surely I systematically
lost everything I had... in less than 2 years.
On November 18, 2011 I stood on the window
ledge and shut my eyes and said a prayer and was about to jump. I know
what got me in that window ledge but I also
know what got me out of that window ledge
and why I'm here now.
I believe in my heart that Transcendental
Meditation is a humongous portion of the reason
why I'm still sitting here now. To know that
something as small of a concept - 20 minutes,
twice a day - can make me feel like I feel
now. That's a gift that you can't buy. It's an
opportunity that I think everybody should
be afforded. My heart is with my soldiers,
my friends, my comrade-in-arms. I know what
it can benefit and how it can benefit others.
Especially my wounded warrior community. Because
those wounds.... just because you can't see
a wound doesn't mean it's not there. In actuality
it's those wounds are the hardest to heal.
I've never felt this good in... life, I don't
think. It's given me "me" back.
