So I started working two jobs last year to
pay for school after I came back from D.C.
I worked at a theater company, as well as
I was tutoring students at my middle school
and it was very hard trying to keep these
two jobs and coming to school and commuting.
So it was very difficult handling all these
things while continuing to do school.
Definitely my family understanding that they're
using me as like a filter like of their dreams.
They never finished middle school, they never
finished high school, obviously, and so being
the first in my family to go to college is,
especially from an immigrant family like that
my parents come from Mexico and they understand
the privilege it takes for me to be here.
It's very like demanding.
So definitely doing it for them.
Definitely financial challenges, but also
understanding the way a university works.
Not really when you first apply to university,
you just think college is one thing.
But then once your like in the institution
you start learning all these different opportunities
that you have and try to tell yourself
that, "Yes, you are good for these things
and yes you should do these things" is something
like very very difficult at times.
And I doubt myself a lot when applying to
these like programs that I've done in the
past and then once I'm even in those programs
I'm like, "Well why am I here?"
You know I continue doubting myself.
So I've done UCDC; so I interned at the Center
for American Progress in D.C.
I've also done a research program this past
summer.
I was doing research in ballet folklorico
so I was really looking at how gender is perceived
in folklorico.
And I was doing research at Northwestern University,
so that that is part of my Mellon Mays Fellowship
that I received this past year.
And so now I am going to continue doing research
these next two years.
Trying to apply for these programs and like
whenever they ask like, "What are your struggles?"
or "What makes you different from everyone
else?"
It's hard to put your whole life into like
five hundred words or your whole like struggle
to five hundred words because you can never
summarize what a person goes through into
five hundred words.
So definitely trying to find the right words
to explain to these institutions that I'm
meant to be here and I want to be there is
very difficult and I think that's the most
hard thing to do.
I see how my parents struggle now and so trying
to help them, wanting to go back and to help
them out is something that I've always wanted
to do so obviously like getting, having a
job.
I need to find a job that will support that
and help them live a better life has made
me want to leave this institution, but also
what has made me want to stay is then in the
future, if I do continue my education I might
be able to provide them something better than
if I leave.
