See Also:

• Joe Biden's Biggest Gaffes of All Time

• Funniest Joe Biden Memes

• Craziest Donald Trump Quotes

"Ted Cruz? An inspiration to every kid in America who worries that he’ll never be able to run for President because nobody likes him. He’s running. And look, I told Barack, if you really, really want to remake the Supreme Court, nominate Cruz. Before you know it, you’ll have eight vacancies." --Joe Biden

"Donald Trump has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner. And he has demonstrated that he has a very difficult time when he has to deal with bright women of authority, like Megyn Kelly and Governor Nikki Haley. Can't you picture it? Can't you picture his reaction watching Hillary take the oath of office? It’s going to be worth the price of admission." --Joe Biden

"My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, I could be, I could be Vice President!" --Joe Biden

"Folks, I can tell you I've known eight presidents, three of them intimately." --Joe Biden

"I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you." --Joe Biden, citing Theodore Roosevelt's famous quote, "Speak softly and carry a big stick"

"[David] Axelrod really wanted me to do this on teleprompter -- but I told him I'm much better when I wing it. I know these evenings run long, so I'm going to be brief. Talk about the audacity of hope. President Obama does send his greetings, though. He can't be here tonight -- because he's busy getting ready for Easter. He thinks it's about him." --Joe Biden, at the 2009 Gridiron dinner

"Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs." --Joe Biden

"A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!" --Joe Biden, at his first campaign rally with Barack Obama

"If your kitchen table is like mine, you sit there at night before you put the kids to bed and you talk about what you need. You talk about how much you are worried about being able to pay the bills. Ladies and gentlemen, that is not a worry John McCain has to worry about. It's a pretty hard experience. He'll have to figure out which of the seven kitchen tables to sit at." --Joe Biden

"There's only three things he mentions in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11." --Joe Biden, on Rudy Giuliani

"I should start with an apology to Rudy Giuliani. I said every sentence Rudy utters has a noun, a verb, and 9/11 in it. I was wrong. He called me to tell me after Pat Robertson's endorsement, there's an Amen in every sentence he says too." --Joe Biden

"Yes." --Joe Biden, giving a one-word answer during a Democratic debate to NBC Anchor Brian Wiliams, who cited criticism of Biden's "uncontrolled verbosity" and tendency to be a “gaffe machine” in asking whether he would "have the discipline you would need on the world stage"

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." --Joe Biden on Barack Obama

"I got tested for AIDS. I know Barack got tested for AIDS. There's no shame in being tested for AIDS. It's an important thing."

“Isn’t it a b*tch? This vice president thing?” --Joe Biden, empathizing with a student at Harvard University who identified himself as the student body's vice president, drawing laughs from the audience. Biden added: “That was a joke, that was a joke. Best decision I ever made. I’m joking. That was a joke.”

"You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking." --Joe Biden

"I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. … When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway." --Joe Biden, providing handy tips to protect against the swine flu and freaking us out, "Today Show" interview, April 30, 2009

