Sometimes I feel a little guilty saying my parents are “not that bad”. Maybe I’ve been “bought off” by reparations. Its funny, in my teen years when I would through my enraged tantrums and wreck the house, as early as 15, my dad told me if he couldn’t control me, he’d get rid of me. Now many, many years later. At a time when my peers have begun to marry and start families. I’m less functional and more dependent on him than I was at 15. During one of my rants I went on and on about how horrible it was being a Hapa man, but that I’d live off of my “reparations” from my White dad. And this enraged him, and he said no one would stop him from throwing a full grown man, my age out of the house. Hes sarcastically brought up my “reparations from my white father” a couple of times since, so I guess it had an impact on him. Does this make us even? I consider being Half Asian a shitty life. But hey as long as someone else is paying for it.

The more militant Hapas would say that anyone who says “my parents weren’t like that” is making excuses. And it would be hypocritical for me to say WMAF is the devil, but oh not my parents. Thats why I reference 2011, as my guide. Am I betraying what I said then? Its true I said a lot of angry things about my parents. But the anger was over WMAF as WMAF. That with WMAF happening at such overwhelming rates as it was. It couldn’t be interpreted as anything other than a rejection of the value of Asian males. And thats why I shine the light on those WMAFs who just come out and say it. Since it “proves” what I’ve always thought WMAF is about. But even in 2011, I was saying my parents aren’t that bad. It was always about my anger at WMAF as a trend. Although where my parents messed up, I always brought it up.

Yes, one flaw in my parents is they refuse to acknowledge just how hellish life is for Asian men. Once my dad even joked that I should write a book called “My life as an Asian Man… and my unsympathetic White Father.” Little does he know, I’ve long written, many volumes of that book. At the same time, I’m not here to say “my evil parents refuse to acknowledge that Asian male life is hell”. Because what good would it do if they did?

Say one of you “Good WMAFs” comes here, and says “I wont be like your rotten parents, I will tell my kids all about institutional and structural racism, and patriarchy and imperialism and colonialism, and how WMAF fits into all that.” Slow clap. So you acknowledge that WMAF is at the nexus of all that racism and sexism, at least on the aggregate. But you still want to benefit from imperialism? How is that better than being ignorant? In some ways knowledge is more evil. Like the Asian women who write these “progressive” “feminist” articles about how they know its so bad being an Asian man, but sorry they also married a white man. Is that the model you are looking to, when you say you will be a WMAF who acknowledges racism against Asian men? Sorry son, I took advantage of you being the worst race of males, but try to make the best of it, and fight the man. (not me though!)

Does it mean every WMAF is bad? No… but. But either you have to be willfully ignorant. Maybe not outright racist, but not really thinking about racism either. Or you are a hypocrite and opportunist. You acknowledge structural racism, and then you proceed to profit off your privileges. Acknowledgement means nothing. There is nothing worse than those articles written by WMAF,that says they get Asian male problems.

Oh I just happened to meet my White husband, Asian wife. We just met and it clicked. I’m not like your evil parents, who went to Asia looking for an easy wife. My parents met in the USA. Through a mutual friend. Thats about as conventional way for a relationship to start as you can get. Once as a kid, I even asked my parents, if they could invite that friend to my birthday party, since she was the reason I was born. Back then I looked at me being born as a good thing.

BUT. But I don’t accept that WMAF “just happens”; when AMWF doesn’t “just happen”. Lets say my parents’ WMAF is pure and innocent, they just met and clicked. When I told my mom about my hatred of WMAF to her face, this was pretty much her answer. Lets accept it. But then switch the genders around. If it were an Asian male immigrant to the US, with a thick accent, would he “just happen” to meet a white woman and marry? Its not an accident we Hapas have white dads. Just by probability, there was more of a chance of being WMAF. A LOT more. And I don’t care what the official stats are. I go by what I see. And I honor the legacy of Wilkes McDermid, who personally counted it, and saw 99:1. This has been my general experience as well. I’ve said 100:1. I see WMAF everywhere. Maybe I’ve seen 20 AMWFs in my whole lifetime. So don’t tell me it “just happens”. Don’t tell me you grew up in a 70% white country or a 90% white town. Because if it “just happened” it would “just happen” for AMWF too. I go by the ghost of Wilkes. If I see 99:1, then its 99:1. I can make all the excuses in the world I want for my parents. But the point is, it wouldn’t have just happened for an Asian male FOB. If he went to a 90% white town, he wouldn’t “just happen” to meet a nice white girl and marry her.

Thats why I’m angry at my parents just for being part of the WMAF trend. And have given them much grief for it.

The thing about the WMAF sons with bad parents, which seems to be most of them, both those that agree or disagree with me. The thing is, they make it about their parents. They have horror stories to tell. These horror stores certainly illustrate the challenges of the Hapa experience. I have some politically incorrect anecdotes, but I wouldn’t say I have horror stories. But then these WMAFs come along, and they read all these horror stories. And it just reassures them. Me and my Asian wife are normal people. We are not these monsters. So obviously it doesn’t apply to me. Even if 90% of WMAFs are monsters, I’m part of the 10%, so my kids will be totally fine. And the Hapas don’t exactly challenge this. They resort, that no you must deep down be a bad WMAF. Don’t get me wrong. That usually IS the case. On the internet, WMAFs have a terrible case of racist Tourettes, where they can’t help but be racist and sexist.

In the rare case where a WMAF doesn’t slip up, these Hapas are shocked. And they fawn all over them. You guys will be fine, because you aren’t racist. You’re not one of the bad ones. Yeah, I’m surprised too, just because WMAF online is just so racist and sexist. Meeting one that isn’t is a diamond in the rough. And generally I wont attack them. I wont say that really you are racist, or that just by being in a WMAF you’re evil. If they believe and say the right things, and they aren’t racist, I wont start trouble with them. BUT. But I don’t believe they’ve solved the Hapa problem. The Hapas with bad parents. Maybe they agree, problem solved. They had bad parents. They see most WMAFs on the internet are bad. They read the bad WMAF news stories. And then they meet a WMAF who isn’t obviously bad. And they say, your kids are going to be totally fine. I disagree. I say their kids can very well be me.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for anti-racism. And I don’t want my point to be, go ahead be racist against your Hapa kids, don’t be racist, they are all doomed in the end. Being racist against your own kids, is a horrific form of child abuse, and it definitely makes a bad situation much, much, worse. But not being racist, doesn’t remove the bad situation. So when I say my parents aren’t that bad, aren’t stereotypical, aren’t racist. It might seem I’m making a pro-WMAF statement. But in the longrun, its a much darker anti-WMAF statement. Unlike the other Hapas, I’m not going to tell you, just don’t be racist, just address Asian male problems, and your kid is clear sailing. No, you can do everything perfectly right, and your son is still me.

Parents only have a limited role in their kids lives. Society, culture, peers has a much bigger influence. So lets say the WMAF parents believe all the right things, perfectly politically correct, have never said anything bad about Asians their entire life. Then the Half Asian son goes to school. He learns he lives in a culture, where Asian men are overwhelmingly the least valued as males. He learns 1st hand all the Asian stereotypes. He sees the overwhelming WMAF flood. Which follows naturally from the proposition that Asian men are the worst men. WMAF is at the heart of Asian emasculation. Both a cause and effect of it. Without commenting at all, on the character of his parents as individuals, once he has come to experience life as a Half-Asian man, WMAF comes to embody everything thats terrible about that life. Its obvious that women of ALL races, but most conspicuously Asian women have rejected Asian men as men. Then what is he supposed to think about his WMAF parents? And you not being directly, openly racist against Asian men, doesn’t fix it. Asian women still by far have the highest rate of outmarriage, overshadowing overwhelmingly any other race of women. And you are part of it. Your son can certainly think like me. WMAF is about me being the worst kind of man. And my parents are WMAF.

This is why me saying “my parents aren’t that bad” is not a copout, but a defense of the Hapa cause. I’m not going to tell a WMAF who acknowledges Asian men have it bad, that their sons will be just fine. What are you going to tell your son? Yes, theres a lot of racism against Asian men, especially in the dating field. Sorry about that son. Acknowledgement doesn’t solve the problem. Face it, your WMAF is going in the wrong direction. Your WMAF is part of the trend, that Asian women, unlike any other race of women, are totally unsatisfied with their race of men. Why is inmarriage better than outmarriage? Its not about better or worse. Its about whats normative. Its about IS not OUGHT. All other races of women DO inmarry, thats the IS, thats the facts. Asian women are the ONLY race of women to outmarry in such large numbers. Implicitly it is a sexual selection against Asian men. But we don’t need to just deduce the implications of it. Its explicit. There so much overt propaganda saying Asian men are the worst race of men. I’ve said before, the shock is not that AMWF is so rare, the miracle is that AMWF can happen at all, given the overwhelming tide against Asian men. I’m half inclined to ignore all the white women in AMWF who post here as trolls trying to weaken my resolve. I’ve never seen any of you in real life. Now in the internet, you want to tell me, you exist and have found my blog?

If its all about bad parents. Then the WMAFs reading can just say they wont be bad parents. Even when they do have racist tourettes. If I say I have good parents, then there aren’t any easy solutions.

It matters for the Hapas too. Theres no point trying to convince every Hapa in the world, that their parents are evil. You wouldn’t even convince me, the author of this blog. But theres no use, just writing off those Hapas as brainwashed. I’m glad all these Hapa resources about terrible parents exist. And I hope it helps those Hapas grapple with their demons. But suppose a Hapa with nothing against his parents comes to my blog. If hes suffered as a Half Asian male in society, he might identify with the thought process I’ve been through. As far as parents go, he might remember all the ways his parents have been less than parents. But more importantly than them as individuals, he sees the Hapa paradox. Hes born of WMAF, but WMAF as trend says hes less of a man. Its impossible to read it any other way in the context of US culture, and what Asian men and Asian women are to US culture.

Look my blog isn’t and never has been a programmatic statement. I don’t lay out what the Hapa problems are in a concise, orderly manner, and then present a program on how to fix it. Its personal, rambling, autobiographical, stream of consciousness. And maybe this hurts my blog in being a tool to convince anyone of any specific position. But I look at it heuristically. The only people who can be convinced in the end, are my fellow Hapas. So they look over the whole stream of my life. I’m sure much of it is unique to me. But some of it, it only happens to Hapas. And they might have thought they are the only people in the world who’ve ever dealt with it. And then they learn its a Hapa issue. They can see how my thought process evolved, and they can choose to follow me if they want.

As long as Asian men and Asian women occupy the spaces they do in US society. Which in my opinion are the worst places any males and females can be in a cultural space. Then WMAF will be a substantiation of it. If Asian men are nerdy, sucky, enemy eunuchs. And Asian women are easy prostitutes, or quiet, non-feminists, that even nerdy awkward white guys can talk to and have a good chance with. Then WMAF follows naturally. The overwhelming numbers of WMAF. Follow from a race, in which the men are sexless, and the women are easily available to the lowest status white men. Its ugly. And Hapa come to feel like they are born out of something ugly, no matter who their parents are as individuals.

To the “good WMAFs” as a Hapa male, born of WMAF, thats how I feel. I feel that WMAF embodies all the ugliness associated with asian men and asian women in white society. Its ugly and I see WMAF as ugly. And its not going to change so long as WMAF takes place in a context where Asians are where they are. I hate the cultural space Asians occupy. There is no worse type of man or worse type of women. Everything the ideal Man shouldn’t be, thats what an Asian man is. You think your half whiteness can free your Half Asian son from all that? It didn’t free me. Just look at pictures of REAL Hapas, NOT your fake Keanu and Dean Cain. Some of them might be on the mixed side. But you can’t look at pictures of Hapas, and tell me, that Asianess is irrelevant to them. They will suffer it. And if WMAF remains anti-Asian its anti-Hapa. This is what I mean when I write that I was born of my own racial castration.

As long as Asians remain what they are to White Society, Hapas will remain what they are. And with the True Face of Hapas emerging in just the last few years, America does not like what it sees.