“She moaned on the tentacle, slobbering and her spit running down her chin and down her body until Metalcock licked the spit that was bouncing off her big fat titties.

– In Lust with the Robot Lord, Locations 121

The Plot

I staged a dramatic reading of this sweaty, dripping, tissue. It became immediately apparent that we were dealing with a masterpiece, as the protagonist’s name is Lord Metalcock. Yes, you read that correctly.

In this literary tour de force, his lordship needs to forge and alliance with the Valdasians, for reason that are pointless to recount here. They send an emissary to board Metalcock’s ship (in more ways than one apparently), in order to iron out the finer details of the agreement.

Valdasian culture requires that all agreements, understandings and contracts be “consummated” as a show of good faith. Also, if you somehow have not managed to guess this from his ambiguous naming, Lord Metalcock is a robot.

Writing Style

I’m entirely convinced that this was written by a 13 year old. James is entirely convinced that said 13 year old turn himself on halfway through these scribblings and lost track of the plot completely. There is little continuity throughout the story and the language is vulgar. I don’t regard much as vulgar, so this is a rather serious comment on the writing.

“Runa looked behind her as Metalcock pushed one of the buttons on his inner control panel of his arm, his lower back opened slightly and 5 long, oiled tentacles appeared from them. He smiled, ‘When I was created, I was given several tentacles to help with my life, now they will help me turn this into the best goddamn fucking I’ve ever been a part of.'” “He smiled as he fucked them more, eating the fuck out of Runa’s pussy and fucked the fuck into Neffa’s hot twat that before long had erupted into an even bigger ocean of pure hot fuck water and sweet warm juices.” “Lord Metalcock smiled as he sat in his chair, his body charging and his cock happy. He looked around at his crew who were busy and said, ‘Ha bitches, I just got laid twice!'”

In all seriousness, who actually says “titties” and what in all the gods’ names is “fuck water”? Actually, you know who says these things? This guy:

I lost count as to how many tentacles this roboman has, because the story clearly states 5 but while pleasuring “the fuck out of” these women, he seemed to have about 11 tentacles. We counted.

The Review

Awful. Just awful. It was juvenile and gross. James was traumatised and I am still trying to figure out what “fuck water” is and how these two women managed to produce so much of it that they were wadding around with it up to their knees. It’s kinda like a ultra F-grade horror, where it’s actually too bad to be funny, even if this was meant to be a joke. You’d be better off reading Stix Hiscock’s Half-Man, Half-Horse, All-Love (linked below) and see how it should be done.

Don’t read it. Don’t spend money on it. And if you are not convinced, I will leave you with this final quote:

“Metalcock moaned and shouted in white hot lustful pleasures as his tentacles rammed their cunts harder until finally they exploded his hot robo-spunk inside of their pussies, asses, and his cock shot giant chunky missiles of robo-spunk into their mouth, one missile hitting Runa in the eye and the other going up Neffa’s nose, but overall hitting the open targets squarely several times.” (Locations 177-180).

My rating: 0/5

Buy In Lust with the Robot Lord on Amazon.

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Half-man, Half-horse, All Love

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