Today marks 100 days of no contact for me. This has been a huge milestone that I was looking at reaching. Has it been hard? Of course. Do I still care for her? Of course. Will we ever get back together? Nope. Not a chance. To be honest I haven’t seen her once in these 100 days, I am sure that has helped, but I now know what I need to do in my life and that is to not worry about things out of my control.

Focus on myself. My friends and family. My new hobbies. My life.

I have had 100 days of self reflection, hours of therapy with a therapist and many more hours with some of my closest friends. In this time I have found a new hobby in painting. I have worked on my personal health and have succeeded in shedding some winter weight. My life has changed a lot since the breakup and from when I first decided to get serious with the no contact rule. One thing I can finally do is to listen to some of the music I first introduced her to. For months I couldn’t even listen to one of my favorite bands because it just flooded me with sadness and brought up all sorts of emotions I didn’t want to deal with. I don’t recall a certain moment, but one day I just said “fuck this, this is music I love and enjoy, I will not let this mess take this away from me.” It may have been that moment I really just shifted gears into 100% being about me and focusing on myself. Not in a selfish way, but in a way to get my mental stability back. Back to being a happy person. Back to not having to fake being happy. Back to me.

100 days of reminding myself that she cheated. She ruined what was once there. She chose to be selfish and to only think about herself. There is nothing I can do now but to look back at the mess of a relationship and just laugh and smile. Sure I will always remember the good times, but I will never forget the shit she did and the way it made me feel.

I am super proud of myself. If you were to have told me that a few months ago I would have started a blog I would have laughed. Doing this has helped me a ton and like I have said before that if my writings have helped even one person that makes me feel so proud!

A reminder to anyone struggling with a breakup or depression it really does get better. Seek professional help. Talk to friends. Don’t try and do it all by yourself, use the people around you. If that’s not an option the web has many sites that I have found to be extremely beneficial.

Cheers to a bright 2016!