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The White House sends out a daily newsletter—aptly called the “Daily 1600"—meant to serve as a kind of “The Skimm,” for people who want all their news Trump-approved. On Friday, that newsletter enthusiastically cited a piece of satire.


Screengrab via 1600 Daily.

In a section called “News Reports,” the newsletter links to two articles: one from Politico about something Irish, and one from the Washington Post, entitled, “Trump’s budget makes perfect sense and will fix America, and I will tell you why.” This post is satire by humor writer Alexandra Petri, and includes the passages:

This budget will make America a lean, mean fighting machine with bulging, rippling muscles and not an ounce of fat. America has been weak and soft for too long. BUT HOW WILL I SURVIVE ON THIS BUDGET? you may be wondering. I AM A HUMAN CHILD, NOT A COSTLY FIGHTER JET. You may not survive, but that is because you are SOFT and WEAK, something this budget is designed to eliminate...

AMERICA WILL BE STRONGER THAN IT HAS EVER BEEN! Anyone who survives will be a gun covered in the fur of a rare mammal, capable of fighting disease with a single muscular flex. RAW POWER! HARD RAW POWER GRRRRRR HISSS POW!


Which, for what its worth, sounds a lot like a press release Trump would release on his own.

Ah, to be a Trump Administration intern, dutifully scouring the net for a clipping that won’t enrage your boss, The Blob from the movie The Blob, only to realize that such a thing doesn’t exist and that drippingly obvious satire is better than nothing at all.