After a lifetime apart from my college darling, we reconnected by chance and picked up again, each of us divorced with grown children. I thought we were happy and in love until, scrolling through photos on her iPad in search of more of her selfies, I found a recent full-frontal nude of another man. I then discovered torrid writing between her and at least two men, one of them the naked one, which she has apologised for but defended as “merely a joke”. While I love this woman, not least for our past, I cannot get over how she has told me she loved me, while saying the same thing to at least two other men. Can we really have a future?

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Emailprivate.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.