GARY*, 36, from NSW is seeing his children this weekend. It will be the first time he’s seen his two daughters in nearly two years.

How does he feel, and how did he cope? Here’s his story …

“I NEED to talk about it. I need to scream, cry and shout to the whole world, I’m so happy. Finally, I’m going to get to hold my beloved daughters in my arms again.

I’m a f***ing mess. I’ve been running around the house, sobbing then dancing. I don’t know what to do with myself. I worried this day would never arrive. I was terrified I’d never see my children again.

I was with their mother for more than 10 years. I thought we had a happy marriage but soon after we’d relocated to be near her extended family she said she wasn’t happy. That was the only explanation I got. For three years I fought to save my marriage for the sake of my children. It finally fell apart. We argued so much, I knew deep down that it wasn’t the right thing to do to stay.

I left home with a bag of clothes, swag and everything else untouched.

Totally unconnected I lost my job and struggled to find work in the area we were now living in. Financially I was drowning so I moved interstate, back in with my parents.

A couple of my ex’s girlfriend’s got in her ear. They told her she should file for a DVO. She did. It was false but it was granted. As anyone who has tried to fight in this system will tell you, fathers stand no chance if a woman turns vengeful.

Visits got cancelled, phone calls were cut short and then I was out of the picture. She started dating someone else just a few weeks later. I’d lost everything.

For nearly two years, I’ve been denied contact with my children. My heart has been broken. Last week, outside court, she softened. I don’t know where it came from.

She saw me clutching folders of paperwork; maybe she saw I was broken.

Somewhere within her, she realised she was doing the wrong thing. Finally she was honest and admitted I was no threat.

For the last two years I have made myself an expert. After work, I read and studied family law. I met with local politicians. I saw a psychologist. I built my support network around communities of people who understood what I was going through.

I spoke to lawyers and had nights where I didn’t sleep because I was studying. I kept working. I knew this wasn’t a battle I’d win overnight. When anyone has children, they’re entering into a lifetime contract. I intended to honour it.

From the moment my wife had said she was unhappy I kept a diary. After I moved out, I kept a daily diary for the whole time I didn’t see my children. Every day.

Some weeks literally read, “Called my girls today. No answer”. The next day, the same. All week.

I needed to know that if I ended up on my deathbed having not seen my children, they would know I had tried. In black and white it’s there.

I want to raise strong, empowered women who are filled with all the confidence I can possibly help instil.

Community legal aid is a waste of time for men. Seriously, don’t bother. Write everything down, find support, self-represent and run paperwork through a lawyer only when you need to at vital stages, it’s saved me a fortune.

I’ve worked in a lot of male dominated industries like construction. If you’re working with a group of six men, it’s not uncommon that five will be going through a battle in Family Court to see their children. I joined Blokes Advice for support and have been helping other men who are struggling with similar problems. Believe me, there is no help out there for men, this is a lifeline.

So, this week at the courthouse I was prepared for war. Then she softened. She did the right thing.

We’ve mutually agreed our own terms. I’ll have the girls some weekends and school holidays.

To any alienated parent: I know how hard it is. Honestly, my heart breaks for every mother and father who can’t see their children. It’s like a prison sentence.

Don’t give up hope. Keep your head up. Know you’re doing the right thing.

I believe there should be compulsory co-parental arrangement upon separation. This would drop the rate of DVOs taken out by mothers in a moment of panic to ensure custody of their kids.

Right now, I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel so incredibly lucky and overcome with relief. Finally, I get to see my girls.”

* Name has been changed to protect identity.

This is a personal account and news.com.au acknowledges it is only one side of events that took place between this couple.