10 Things I Need To Teach My Kids Before They Leave Home

When I got to college it was amazing how many of my roommates didn’t know how to do laundry or cook something other than ramen noodles. I could respect someone eating Ramen noodles because they were broke, but I struggled with the grown people that didn’t know how to fulfill basic functions of daily life. Even so, I felt I could address all of the basic physical things kids need to know in number one on the list below. There are other things, like issues of character, that are even more essential to a full and happy life.

These are just ten things your child should not leave your home without knowing how to do.

1. How not to stink, and other basic needs: Every independent person needs to know how to do their own laundry, brush their teeth, shower, and wear deodorant. It doesn’t hurt to know how to shop for groceries, cook a decent meal and clean either. This seems simple but it can have a serious implication on social and professional success. Regardless of your child’s style or identity, cleanliness and hygiene are essential life skills.

2. How to wait: The skill of being able to wait for the things they want will pay enormous dividends in the long run. Without this skill, no amount of talent or education can create success. Delayed gratification is the foundation of perseverance and perseverance the champion of success.

3. How to tell the truth: Honesty is a dwindling virtue. Teaching our kids honesty however is more effectively taught by example and consistency then by calling them out or calling them a liar, even if they have lied. Trust is what connects people. Without it all your child’s relationships will be superficial. With it comes a depth and freedom that can be matched no other way.

4. How to do nice things for others, just because: Kindness, compliments and benevolence are the “relationship candy,” only without the part that makes you fat. Random acts of kindness can make us smile in the midst of so many thing that can make us frown. Learning to be kind and do nice things without expectation of reciprocation builds personal purpose in one’s life and is a main ingredient of a healthy relationship recipe. This is about leaving the world better than you found it. Contribute. Share yourself, your talents and your love with others.

5. How to say “No!:” No is the boundary we use to set limits on what we will accept and what we will not accept. When people fail to use the word “No” to things they do not want, like or value, they regret or resent what follows. Knowing how to say “no” also implies that they can effectively say “Yes” to things they do want in their life.

6. How to be smart: The skill of learning how to learn is as important as what we learn. The desire to read; the drive to learn things that interest them without being compelled by an outside force is more valuable than gold.

7. How to be a friend: There is always a controversy when people ask, “should I be a parent or a friend?” My answer is always, “Yes.” The real answer is that a TRU Parent is a real friend. It’s true, parents are not the run of the mill teenage friend that let anything fly without teaching or consequences, but the parent/child relationship is the first and maybe most appropriate laboratory for what a real friend is. A parent is what a real friend should be.

8. What romance REALLY is: Teach your child the value of and how to treat the opposite sex. Show our children what a committed relationship looks like. Teach them that romance is magical but the magic dies if we are not responsible and treat the one we love with patience, kindness and commitment.

9. How to be unrealistic: Everyone needs to dream. Our dreams motivate us to do and be more. The most important element of teaching kids to dream is simply not to shoot their dreams down. Kids dream naturally. We just need to encourage the dream.

10. How to make problems into opportunities: To be independent, kids need to know how to solve problems in constructive ways. When they know how to be constructive in problem solving, problems evolve into something more. They become opportunities for something greater.

Question: What are the top things you think your kids need to know before they leave your home?

What a great list that covers so many of the basics! There are a few things that you kind of touched on but to me they are important enough to stand alone.

The first is teaching children how to have a good work ethic. There are so many people who don’t know how to work hard and stick with it until it’s done. People refuse to do so many jobs because it is too trying on them physically or mentally or they just think they are above such things. Sometimes it is necessary to take a job flipping burgers or clean toilets in the middle of the night. I am SO grateful to my parents for teaching me that sometimes you have to work through some pretty unpleasant situations to get yourself where you ultimately want to be. Whether it was helping to dig a ditch, weed the garden, take care of farm animals or do some deep cleaning to going the extra mile while on the job at a paid position just to name a few. How many people purposefully slack off in the work place or do a half baked job because they don’t know the value of good work? How much more valuable would they be to their employer if they REALLY put in a full days work?! My parents taught me that I needed to take pride in whatever I do so if I was going to spend time doing it then I had better do it well enough that I was proud of myself and what I had accomplished. That was true for both physical/manual labor and in school doing the mental stuff. Not only does a good work ethic do wonderful things for personal self-esteem but it is a tremendous gift to have out in the real world when you are working with other people. If a hard job needs to be done I always want the hardest workers with me so the job gets done quickly and efficiently.

The next thing I believe all children should be taught is how to manage their money/ learn to live within their means and be self-reliant. Good money management isn’t just something people are born with. It is a skill that must be learned and practiced. I had roommates in college who were constantly asking to borrow money to cover basic living expenses like food and rent, yet every weekend they were out at the movies, going shopping for the latest style in clothing and of course they had to have the latest and greatest in electronic gadgets. One day they will run out of people who are willing to give them a hand out and reality wont be very kind to them. Knowing how to live within your means and not spend more then you have coming in an essential skill that seems to have been forgotten in a place where going into excessive debt is becoming more and more acceptable.

All this may or may not have been what you were looking for. I hope it made sense because I tend to ramble. I have never been very good at expressing myself through writing…

andysmithson

Wow, great input Josh and Aria! I love the idea of continuing to share this post and collect and compile all of these amazing things people want to teach their children. Please share the post and invite friends to come add their ideas to the post comments.
I wanted to share a comment that a friend put on facebook too because I thought it was another wonderful point to teach. Kelli said, “Your list is awesome! And very comprehensive. The #1 thing I want my children to learn before they leave home is to know how to seek out and follow personal revelation, as well as recognize how the Spirit communicates with them. I also want them to learn how to make mistakes so they can feel reassured that even when we mess up, our friends still like us, our family still loves us, we can start over, we can still be successful, and our mistakes don’t define us. My oldest daughter is very much a perfectionist and this year we’ve been celebrating her less than perfect spelling scores. It’s hard for her to recognize what she did well instead of immediately notice how many she missed. It’s a work in progress.”

Great lists, all of you! It is gratifying as an older person (a grandma) to read what younger parents are thinking, saying, and doing. If each of you truly implement the things you’ve mentioned here, our world will become a better place, at least wherever your children are.

1 st of all IT WON”T BE EASY to see him leaving ,but I know one day he have to go his own way just like all of us did.am agree 100% with the ideas above ,in my opinion all what he need more than that is to believe in him self and have faith in God and try to be strong in the rough times ,responsible ,and capable to stand up tall after each fall simply coz life is not easy ,it’s tough so he have to be tough too but not heartless .

Lelia Schott

excellent!

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