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Just Curious

When someone dies and people tell you, "I'm sorry for your loss", or "you're in my thoughts/prayers", do you really think they mean it or do you think people just say it because it's the PC thing to do?

I don't know about others, but when I say it, I do mean it. I AM sorry that the person I'm speaking to has suffered a loss, and that it's obviously painful for them. And I do pray for them, that their pain is made bearable, and that they are able to find peace with it.

Admittedly, I do pray for / think about someone who is closer to me who has suffered a loss more than someone that I don't know as well (one, say, I might pray for every day for months, the other, maybe a week) - or if the loss was exceptionally tragic - I'm going to feel more for the family that lost a child to SIDS than, say, one who had great grandma pass away in her sleep...

I think you are over-analyzing it. I don't think they are in anguish because of the news of your loss, but I think they at least momentarily access memories of loss in response to your news and feel a flash of sorrow. How much they feel sad for you probably depends on how many times they think of you afterward.

I should clarify - in all the situations I described - I do feel for the person, and I am sorry that they experienced the loss, and I do pray for them - but some touch my heart / have more of an impact on me as a friend / acquaintance of the person mourning than others - though I do have empathy for them all (just to varying degrees).