When did dining-out, facials, manicures, pedicures, personal trainers, pricey haircuts, books, magazines, CD’s, I-Phones and expensive annual vacations become necessities? How did we get here?

This fee-only financial planner contemplates this question as client after client comes in with cash flow issues – agonizing over credit card statements, wondering how they can keep up with an avalanche of bills.

As a first step in my financial planning process, I ask clients to complete a detailed cash flow worksheet. This is followed by a meeting to review this document line by line.

Are you cash-flow challenged?

This exercise is as exhilarating as it is agonizing – clients are relieved to finally be doing something around financial planning, but terrified that the end result will be deprivation. Everyone has his or her own “can’t give this up” list.

I’ve learned to remain neutral as a client explains to me why they can’t possibly cut out their $400 a month Amazon habit or can’t postpone the $4,000 vacation for a couple of years. (Really? Are you sure?)

Lately, there are more and more cash flow challenged clients at my door, and of course, it’s the economy. No longer is cash-out refinancing an option as house values plummet and equity lines of credit disappear or decrease. And, to make matters more difficult, credit card companies are lowering limits and raising interest rates. Brokerage balances are also down.

Some state employees are seeing pay cuts as high as 8 %. The self-employed and freelancers lament incomes that have been slashed in half over the last year.

A spouse loses a job, two incomes are now one because of divorce, or unemployment — benefits have run out and there’s no job in sight. Not exactly a pretty picture.

All of a sudden, people have to live within their means, and for many, this is the first time they’ve had to watch what they spend and they’re not finding it easy to cut back.

As a financial planner, I can assure you – our incomes are finite, there’s just no way around that fact. I remind clients that recessions and hard economic times don’t last forever. The good times will roll again, but in the meantime, this is a good opportunity to really tap into what makes us most happy and to learn to live within our means and make it stick.

Living within your means doesn’t mean that you have to cut out all pleasure. Think of living within your means as good practice for your retirement years when you live off the money you save now. Think of it as living a sustainable lifestyle.

10 Ways to Save Money and Not Feel Deprived

Here’s a few spending tips for the person who doesn’t want to feel deprived:

Suspend spending on those items you can do yourself: manicures, pedicures, highlights, gym workouts. Or, cut back on frequency.

I’m a big fan of making my own coffee every day. I’ve been doing it for years, and only go to coffee shops once every few months for a treat.

Also, recently a group of friends and I decided to bring back monthly dinner parties. Rather than going out for dinner, we each will host a dinner at our homes. It might be a little expensive to host, but it’s a one-time cost over the course of 9-10 months; in addition, each person can bring a little something to contribute (wine, cheese, bread, etc.). This way, we can still enjoy a nice dinner together, and see each other regularly, but also save money.

Small ways to save:
* I recently called my cell phone company and worked out a plan that would save me $50 a month, because the texts and the other things I wanted to do were not a part of my original cell plan.
* Take advantage of your local library for the books you want to read – some libraries also have amazing movie and music collections!
* Find ways to walk, bike, or car pool with people more often (or take public transit like lightrails, subways, buses, etc.) – it feels weird at first but can save gas money, wear and tear on your car, parking fees, frequency of oil changes, etc.