Life Tips for Short People

It is a fact universally acknowledged that a short girl in pursuit of something above her head must be in want of some young man to get it down for her. – Kendra E. Ardnek

I am a short person. Not the shortest of the short people I know, but definitely not tall. Here are a few ideas that might make your life easier if you are also a short person.

Embrace the short jokes. You’ll be much happier. And in the process, you may annoy the people who told the jokes intending to annoy you, and that’s always great.

Take it a step farther and tell short jokes. My personal favorite is, “You’ve gotta hand it to short people sometimes… because they can’t reach.”

Learn to climb. It will help you reach things. (Within reason. Don’t take this as permission to unnecessarily endanger yourself. Or to climb up shelves in stores. That would probably be frowned upon.)

Sometimes accept that you can’t reach something and recruit a taller person to hand it to you.

Swing your feet in those chairs where you can’t touch the floor. It’s fun.

Acquire a step stool. Seriously. Now. Buy one. Make one. Beg one. Don’t steal though. Or borrow, because you won’t be giving it back. Now put it in your kitchen. Leave it there. Revel in the newly accessible cupboard space.

Appreciate the advantages of being closer to the ground:

You don’t have as far to fall.

Or as far to bend to pick up things you dropped.

It’s easier to get down on a child’s level and play with them.

Basically, enjoy your life as a short person. (And if you’re a tall person or an in-between-height person, enjoy your life as that; I just don’t have experience to speak from.)

8 thoughts on “Life Tips for Short People”

Short is so relative. Sometimes I have no idea how short I am. I think I’m taller than someone and when we measure, I find out I’m not. I’m also good at finding long thin objects to fish things down from store shelves. Are you taller than me or am I taller than you?