Monday, December 3, 2012

Your Mama Hears...

...from a seemingly well informed southern source—let's call her Stella Mockingbird—that newly single A-list actor and occasional musician Johnny Depp may have set down some multi-million dollar real estate roots in the swanky, semi-rural suburbs southwest of Nashville, TN.

It's hardly a secret amongst all us naughty-naughty celebrity real estate gossips that Mister Depp has been on the hunt for a house in NashVegas and, according to Miz Mockingbird, the three-time Oscar-nominated actor has (allegedly) settled on a massive mansion in a small gated enclave about 15 miles south of downtown Nashville and about equidistant between the historic towns of Franklin and Brentwood.

The almost absurdly opulent mansion in question sits on more than 47 sumptuously bucolic acres tucked into a tight curve of the snaking Harpeth River and was built in 2001 by Tennessee banker Gordon Inman who christened the palatial pile Bella Rosa. As far as we can tell, the double-gated estate first popped up on the open market earlier this year with a tongue-twanging $17,500,000 price tag but Miz Mockingbird snitched to Your Mama that word around the gated enclave is that Mister Depp snagged the place for significantly less.

Listing information we ferreted out of the interweb shows the massive, 19-room behemoth measures just over 19,000 square feet on three floors with four bedrooms, seven full and two half bathroom, nine fireplaces, one elevator, numerous wet bars, garaging for at least seven cars, and a pair floating spiral staircases the flank the center hall foyer.

Although we would expect Mister Depp to bring in a team of lady or nice-gay decorators to do the place up in a manner that suits his fancy, the existing day-core as seen in listing photographs show the gargantuan residence was worked over but good for the seller in decidedly swellegant fashion. There are dozens of chunky Doric columns, acres of faux-finished and richly paneled walls, miles of intricate and beefy moldings, expensive marble inlaid wood floors, a bazillion yards of swagged and heavily pasamenteried drapery and scads of glimmering crystal chandeliers, all of which are probably antique and most assuredly were fantastically expensive.

At almost 700 square feet with capacious double height ceilings and towering 20-ish foot tall windows the formal living room is notably baronial and the adjoining formal dining room easily seats ten or more at a chatoyant Louis the Something-style table.

The library strikes a masculine tone with fully paneled walls, built-in book cases and a heavy coffered ceiling that were all—no doubt—hand-rubbed by an expensively imported artisan. Furnishings include a couple of riveted wing back chairs upholstered in the most marvelous caramel colored worn leather, a carved wood desk the size of a shipping container and a small flat screen t.v. mounted about the carved wood fireplace between two identical gold-toned urns.

Less formal family quarters include a super-sized center island kitchen outfitted with a prodigious—and potentially lethal—pot rack laden with stacks of gleaming copper pots (above, bottom left), a separate breakfast room with rustic river rock fireplace (above, bottom right) and a tile-floored den/sun room with a second river rock fireplace (above, top right).

A spacious family/game room has a vaulted, wood-beamed ceiling, built-in cabinetry for the t.v. and a third river rock fireplace (below, top left). The family room connects through a wide and shallow arch to a billiards area (below, top right) with full-height wrap-around windows and French doors that provide a long view of the meadow that stretches out from the back of the house to the tree-lined edge of the Harpeth River.

Although the size of a small department store, the house has just four bedrooms that include a main floor master suite (above) complete with columned entry vestibule, over-sized bedroom area with sitting area, and a fireplace over-mounted with a flat screen t.v. and flanked by French doors that open to a private terrace. There's copious closet space—natch—and dual bathrooms, one clearly done up for a him with lots of columns and a brown marble lined shower and the other all decked out for a her with a barrel vaulted ceiling painted like a cloudy sky, a make-up vanity and a plunge-pool sized soaking tub set into a columned and window-lined niche.

Numerous patios and terraces extend off the rear of the regal residence and include a grand space tucked into a double-height portico off the formal living room with expansive views over the 30-plus acre backyard.

A long colonnade runs along the swimming pool and sunbathing terraces and connect the main house to the garages and rear motor court and the open air pool pavilion with chevron pattern brick flooring, outdoor fireplace, full kitchen with industrial-grade range, and changing facilities that–we imagine but can not confirm—include at least one bathroom.

Although the immediate environs around the house are fully landscaped and include a sizable circular rose garden, much of the land is a flat expanse of prairie-like pastureland perfect for a herd of goats or—even better—a flock of llamas.

Now children, we ask that y'all keep in mind that as of today none of the property records databases that Your Mama consults show a transfer of ownership (yet) so this is all just some southern style celebrity real estate gossip for now. Howevuh, if the juicy scuttlebutt is true, and he really did acquire Bella Rosa, Mister Depp will be surrounded by a slew of Nashville notables. Just a few doors down, for instance, is the 9,200+ square foot home of ice skating legend Scott Hamilton and just outside the gates of the exclusive community is the 23-acre former spread of Roy Orbison, now owned by a fiber-optics tycoon who has it listed for $5,399,000. Just over the narrow Harpeth River are the the sprawling equestrian estates of sick rich businessman Orrin Ingram II and big-time booze distributor Robert Lipman as well as Sweetbriar, the 135-acre estate country music king Alan Jackson sold in mid-2010 for $28,000,000 to auto salvage magnate Willis Johnson.

Mister Depp, who needs another house like he needs a hole in his head, owns a healthy handful of high-priced properties around the globe that include but may not be limited to Little Hall's Pond Cay—a 45-acre private island in the Caribbean, a house in the upscale Paris suburb of Meudon and a country estate in Plan-de-la-Tour, about 10 or 12 miles from St. Tropez in the South of France.

In Los Angeles the somewhat mysterious and idiosyncratic superstar owns at a significant estate and at least four other homes on the same winding lane just above the Sunset Strip and over the summer (2012) he dropped $4.4 million on a five bedroom Mediterranean style villa in the Hollywood Hills for his ex-lady friend and baby momma Vanessa Paradis who is said to have also been granted the family estate in Plan-de-la-Tour.

There are unsubstantiated rumors Mister Depp also owns a canal front palazzo in Italy's water-logged Venice and a spread on the Isle of Wight, just off the southern coast of England but, for the record, Your Mama is highly skeptical of both of those real estate canards.

Poor boy. He must be emotionally truncated in some fashion. One doesn't know whether the house or his wanting it is more ridiculous. I went to Wiki to look up his background: son of a waitress, engaged in "self harm" when young and so on and so forth. Now I do understand: this mess of a house reflects the likely mess of his psyche.

Even with millions in a major redo, this house will be a ridiculous mess. In a world such as ours, when so many have so little, I would think anyone would be embarrassed to live here. On top of all, I bet it's an energy hog. Shame on Depp.

Looks like Richard Landry designed this in concert with Tim Burton -- with a touch of Edward Gorey thrown in.

Not so awful up close on the ground, but an aerial view shows an ill-proportioned, misshapen pile; ten feet of lavish landscaping surrounds it, with the rest just acres of Tennessee dirt stretching to the ditch-like Harpath. And even though it's at then end of a cul-de-sac in a "gated enclave", the damn thing is practically smack up against the street.

Even a gut-renovation could not correct the off-scale vulgarity of this bloated manse; I see the hand of a new ladylove in this misguided purchase.

First of all, your writing indicates a pair of floating spiral staircases, but the photo only shows one. Imagine my disappointment. Second, you're using more dictionary words like chatoyant, which isn't even English. Had to look that one up. Third, now your children are using dictionary words like puerile. That sounds like the name of my memaw. Fourth, the library chandelier is not at all masculine. It's also too big per Hedda's algebraic linear equation. I recommend a smaller, brassy multi-armed replacement with little black party-hat lampshades on all of the bulbs. And fifth, Anonymous 12:03 p.m., I don't know of no clinical literature suggesting, let alone establishing, corelation and/or causality between waitress mothers and unstable children. Even if the children engage in self-harm; e.g., self-subcutaneous cutting, to reduce anxiety during adolescence.

very hard to believe he would like this house for a home; but iirc his family /some live around those parts. may be he is buying it for his mother and big enough for all to come visit for extended time

Amazing how your views can change. It was probably only a year ago that Mama posted a house in the Nashville area and I laughed and asked WHO would live in Tennessee? Now, I'm all over the Nashville area and, after some research, I personally would choose Nashville (I'd go Franklin or Brentwood) over LA in a minute. Malibu...I'd still miss Malibu... I won't go into the reasons I am now drawn there b/c they are personal and everyone has different ideas.

As for the house shown, this would not be my choice as it is too damned generic McMansion...you could get a house like this anywhere - of course prices vary by area (location, location, location). As a side note, thanks, Mama, for the mention of the Roy Orbison place. I'd seen the listing for Kinnie Rd and figured it had a entertainment pedigree but, I was too lazy to follow-up on it.

Oh, my dream home is in rural Franklin. An old log house (with MCM upgrades. Seriously...TOO eccentric!) on 24 acres off Sneed Rd. Lust!

Please indulge me as I have something for the LA children. I was looking at videos of Nashville and found one called "Driving Through Nashville". Many children might be interested in what a freeway looks like without a traffic jam. Also, many children might notice lights flashing on either rear side of vehicles. Those are called "turn signals". Say it with me, "turn signals". That little stalk on the left side of the steering wheel? That operates those. Practice with it and make people in SoCal think you're just visiting.

Chandeliers used to only be reserved for dining rooms, entryways, and the occasional living room. However, modern designers are taking risks, and installing chandeliers in everything from kitchens, to bedrooms, to bathrooms.Chandelier

Since Depp is a Kentucky boy I'm not sure what the surprise about Nashville is. The house is ostentatious and commercially (think Great Indoors) tacky, but maybe he'll have it redecorated. Money does not buy taste and he's got plenty to burn.

I'm sure if Mr. Depp has purchsed this property he will redecorate to his liking.

I don't know why everyone is so down on Nashville. It is Music City after all and not just country by any means. He is good friends with The Black Keyes and Jack White who all reside in the Nashville area.

A lot of musicians quietly have homes here in Nashville. It's a mecca for song writers of all genres and recording studios are studded all over the area from Music Row to Leiper's Fork.

But that's fine, ya'll just keep laughing about us. We will happily go on enjoying the gorgeous scenery, weather, central location and amenities Nashville has to offer.

Stop hating on Nashville. If you have never lived here or visited here- you have NO IDEA what this city is all about! It's Music City, not just country music, and has a great balance of fun and outdoors! You people who think living in a flat for $1500 a month is the life, are sadly mistaken... I can buy a 4 bedroom house here for that much!And granted none of us could ever afford this house... but hey, someone's got to buy it! I hope he really does live here and enjoys the laid back beauty Nashville has to offer!