PEOPLE JUDGING YOU ABOUT YOUR BODY? EMILY RATAJKOWSKI CAN HELP

As a teen who developed early, actor, activist and model Emily Ratajkowski was on the receiving end of some pretty harsh judgement from others. Some people treated her as eye candy–all good looks and no substance. Others tried to make her feel like she was sending a hypersexualized message by simply existing in her natural, 14-year old body. While uncalled for judgement never ends (see below Tweet debunking implant rumors), there are ways to show people that there’s more to a girl than meets the eye.

Since, Emily has not only become a household name in the modeling world, she’s landed roles in big-time movies, like Gone Girl and We Are Your Friends and has worked with organizations like Planned Parenthood to advocate for women’s reproductive health.Below, she shares exclusive advice for PSTOL readers for how to deal with people that try to make you feel bad about your bod–and rise above their bullshit.

You had the body of a much older person when you were a teen. How did you deal with people who tried to treat you as an accessory–just a pretty thing to be looked at instead of heard from–instead of treating you as a being with a soul?

A lot of it was people not only seeing me as an accessory but treating me like I had to apologise for my sexuality because I was making them feel uncomfortable, which of course is unfair. As a 14 year-old girl, you’re already going through so much shit and feeling so awkward–you don’t need other people making you feel bad.

It wasn’t so much that I worry about proving myself, it was more about letting go and understanding that I didn’t have to please these people. It was about realizing that if they were cool enough, they would figure it out on their own–and that’s worked really well for me. I just stopped caring about how people perceive me and don’t dictate my life around other people’s perceptions. And I’ve ended up in a pretty good place.

What advice do you have for a girl who is being objectified? What can she do in the moment to shut down the situation?

I think you have to imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes and realize it’s so much more about them than it is about you. Whatever it is you think they’re judging you about? It’s probably happening because they’re having a shitty day or they never felt beautiful–who knows. It’s so often not about you. Remember that most of the time, people are in their head and they’re probably worried about what you are thinking about them.