Picture this: You’re a lesbian woman in a bar. Another woman continues to hit on you, but you don’t want to sleep with her. You tell her this and she says “okay, have a good night”. Normal, right? This is what is supposed to happen.

Now, what if that woman you rejected was a transgender woman? According to trans right activists (TRAs), that would be a completely different story. They would tell you that if you didn’t at least think about the possibility of having sex with the transgender woman, you are transphobic and closed-minded. Now whoa, when did not wanting to have sex with someone make you closed-minded?

To all the lesbians and anyone else reading this: your body is YOURS. YOU are the one who decides who you want to have sex with (in a consensual manner). Being guilted into sex is NOT consent. Imagine if a gay man went up to a straight man and told him he was homophobic for not wanting to sleep with him.

Sex does not happen with gender identity. You cannot “have sex with a mind”, which is where people say the transgender identity lies. Sex is physical and generally involves the genitals of at least one of the people involved. Sexual attraction is labeled what it is for a reason: people are attracted to specific sexes. You cannot change your sex. If you are XY, you are a man. It doesn’t matter if you wear dresses and makeup, sexual attraction is more than that. Lesbians do not want to have sex with a penis. Some ask, “what about after the person gets bottom surgery?”. Still, most lesbians will not want to have sex with that person. Many lesbians are starting to come out of the shadows and stand up for their attraction.

You should never make a person feel bad for who they are attracted to. No one has a RIGHT to sex. If you are transgender, this applies to you, as well. Coercion or being guilted into sex is on the line of rape culture. If you are telling people that they are transphobic for not wanting to have sex with a transgender person, you are perpetuating rape culture.

The transgender movement is supposed to be progressive. What is progressive about practically forcing people to have sex with someone they are not attracted to? What if that person has been sexually assaulted by a man and does not wish to go near a penis ever again? Do transgender women really care more about their penis than a woman who has been through trauma?

If you are one of the people spreading the idea that lesbians are transphobic for not wanting to have sex with a transgender woman, you are promoting rape culture.

This is not to say that transgender people should not be having sex. Like anyone else, it needs to be with a consenting adult. And guilting someone into having sex with you is not consent.