"April's Fool!" went FitEar's Mr. Suyama between mouthfuls of tasteless Japanese beer at the 2014 Mook お疲れ様会. Before our eyes, he dangled a tiny gatling gun fitted to an earphone. Each of its barrels was, as you may have guessed, made of that FitEar precious metal, titanium. Every angle, every barrel, every hard edge projected the singular image on the minds of everyone at the table: Gundam.

Yep, a Gundam earphone.

April's Fool? I can't imagine how many hours, how many prototypes, how many broken fingernails and overtime promises FitEar had to go through to perfect the deadly beauty dangling before us. Between burps, the rest of the fellas agreed.

"This could work," informed Oyama Satoshi, the extremely well-read, and least paralytic of us.

"Is it Parterre inside?" asked Sasaki, the owner of the world's most famous thumb.

"Can I 'ave another?" blubbed Mr. Inai, beer mug held aloft between trembly thumbs. (No one knows where he came from or how I knew his name, but he was a great drinking buddy. If you're reading this, Inai, ol' buddy, I salute you!)

Mr. Suyama just smiled and shrugged. "The insides are somewhat of a secret. Not that that matters; we have no plans to take it to production."