Megan’s Heartwarming Story

My husband died nine months ago and before he died I told him I wanted lots of signs from him, which he promised to give (he never believed in the spiritual afterlife and had always been amused by my interest).

I began getting signs from him within two weeks of his death (old emails from him which I had filed showing up as new emails in my inbox – repeatedly; power fluctuations, tv coming on by itself when I greet him; finding a 14” black feather at the mailbox in perfect condition though I had never seen feathers in our area; the candle on the back of the toilet being moved across to the chest, twice, a month apart ( I live alone and didn’t do it myself); helping me to find my phone when I called out to him to ask his help; a throng of butterflies suddenly appearing on the hillside and flying all around us when we were about to scatter his ashes, etc.

My favorite: One morning last August I came downstairs in the morning past his study and the black lampshade above his reading chair was flashing on and off rapidly. I went in and tried to turn it off but it wouldn’t respond. So I unplugged it from the wall but it kept flashing for I’d say another five seconds. I plugged it back in, it started flashing again, so I unscrewed the light bulb from the lamp and held it in my hand and it kept flashing in my hand for another 5 seconds. I grinned and told him I got his message, screwed in the bulb again (it stayed off). I’ve never seen anything like THAT before. I find he’s been very playful with his signs. I feel his presence around me all the time.

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Cassie’s Dad is still watching over her!

Cassie is a 60ish retired National Health Service employee who’s hobby of family genealogy has turned into an almost full-time job. She is the mom of two cocker spaniels and lives in beautiful Cornwall, England. On a pleasantly warm and dry sunny day about 9years ago, while driving on the M5 in Bromsgrove, Worcestershire, she had some wonderful signs from her dad, who had crossed over approximately 6 months before:

Shortly after my father died, I visited my family and on my way home I popped in to say goodbye to my mother – who we call ‘Mom.” She waved me off as always and it was so incredibly sad seeing her there on her own without Dad. I cried as I drove away. Within a few minutes I was on the motorway and a car overtook and pulled in front of me. I noticed that the registration plate was ‘MOM.’ The car then sped off into the distance, and within a minute another car did the same thing – overtook me and then pulled in front of me briefly. The registration was ‘DAD.’ I was pretty shaken at the “coincidence” – then another car did the same thing and I knew it was certainly no longer a coincidence – the registration was ‘PEG’, my mother’s name. By this time I could barely drive and was saying out loud ‘my God Dad, is this you doing that?’ The next vehicle that pulled in front was a large lorry, and on the side in huge letters ‘DAD’ (the initials of a company.) It too stayed in front of me briefly then sped off. These vehicles came in front of me within the space of a few minutes, and one after the other – no other vehicles in between. I had to go to the next services for coffee to recover! I can’t imagine how those in spirit organize these things, just know that they do.

It’s amazing to me (and to Cassie) how Spirit can put us in a place and time to receive their messages. I asked Cassie how she felt after this comforting experience: I always believed that spirit can communicate and this experience showed me that they can do so in a very clear way. It has deepened my belief in the afterlife and in communication with those that have passed on. I knew that if anyone would prove survival of death to me it would be my father and it was typical of him to do so in this extraordinary and dramatic fashion!

Cassie has shared this experience with her sister and others. A Spiritualist Medium told her that those in spirit send messages in various ways but we often dismiss them as coincidence. The more we recognize them as messages, the easier it is for spirit to communicate.

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Sweet Dreams for Lara

When I was young, I dreamed of a pet I had which had died. In the dream I just saw this pet’s face, and her eyes were thanking me for taking care of her in life. She was just a tiny animal but I had loved her so much, and even though I was a little child, I had taken good care of her and she lived a long and healthy life. She came to say thank you. That was my first experience.

The second one was when I was 24 or 25. My maternal grandmother had recently died. I just saw her in a dream standing there, surrounded by people that seemed like family or friends. Her eyes were glowing with light. She seemed happy. I knew that she had appeared to let me know she was OK.

Now my husband tells me (I don’t remember this) that I told him grandma appeared to me. He says I had been taking a nap and woke up and saw her standing there over me. She said “Take care of Granddaddy”. I probably forgot this because I believed it was a hypnogogic hallucination.

I didn’t have another ADC until many years later. I was in my 30s. I dreamed of my paternal grandfather (dad’s dad). I wasn’t close to him in life and rarely saw him. In this dream he was standing against a red-orange background with nothing else around, but it was misty. He hugged me. The interesting thing about this was I FELT the hug. Then he stepped back and had a message for me regarding something my husband and I were dealing with at the time. Then he walked away. In all these dreams, I would wake up immediately and remember them very clearly. I usually don’t remember my dreams. This was the first ADC dream that I had zero doubts about it being real, since I felt it.

I was excited about this one so I started telling people about it. I prayed to have more of these visitations because I found them fascinating. They started happening more and more.

After my maternal grandfather died, I had MANY. He wouldn’t leave me alone for a while! (We were very close in life.) He probably appeared to me around a dozen times in dreams. In all of them, we would communicate on a more comfortable level than in life. As if we were best friends. He seemed exactly the same, personality-wise as he was in life. He even joked about my political leanings.

Before he died, he also came to me in spirit to say good-bye. I was asleep in my bed one night and woke up and I saw him sitting on my bed in “light being” form. (It seems weird, I don’t know how to explain it.) He kissed me on the forehead. Then I just fell back asleep. I remembered it the next morning and thought it was an odd dream. But what I didn’t know was, at that moment, he was at home dying. Family found him the next day and he was transported to the hospital, where he lingered in and out for a couple of weeks before he finally let go.

After several dream visitations, I saw him again, he told me he would stop coming to see me so much because it was difficult. I didn’t see him for a while until one day, I was having a bad day and driving around in the country… this is something he used to do, and we always made fun of him for it. That night he came to me in a dream and he was laughing at me for doing the same thing!

Shortly after he died, I was awoken early one morning with a vigorous tapping on my shoulder. I was annoyed and went back to sleep. It didn’t occur to me until later that it was probably grandpa. (He was a jokester in life.) I also found a pile of change on my car seat when coming back from shopping (the car door was locked)… closet doors would randomly open… papers would be brushed off a table….a shoebox on a high shelf was knocked down while I was home alone. There is, of course no way to tell for sure, but I attributed all those things to him, as well. They stopped about a year after he died.

I also saw my grandmother in dreams a couple more times. Once was the day before my sister’s wedding. She came in a dream and had a specific message for me that I didn’t understand until I thought about it a bit. The special thing about this was, I noticed the shape of her earlobe. Since I had not seen her on over a decade I certainly couldn’t remember a detail like that. But then I referenced a picture and it was correct.

In one, she pointed out to me that she had legs (they were amputated in life). She also seemed young, in her 20s.

I saw my other grandfather again (dad’s dad)… I was sitting on a boardwalk and he was walking by, and came over to give me a big hug. He was wearing a specific type of shirt, which seemed significant, and I could feel and smell him. He said “We’re going to have lots of fun when you come here.” So, a few weeks later, I threw a bridal shower for my sister and my aunts were there. They were discussing the type of shirt that grandpa loved to wear, and it was the shirt he was wearing in the dream! That was confirmation for me.

I’ll share one more story before signing off. My husband and I had quit our church and were trying to figure out which church to attend, or if we should change denominations. One night I had a vivid dream of talking to my father’s mother, who had been a devout Catholic in life. She was sitting at a desk and was seemingly doing work, lots of papers spread around. She and some others (who I can’t remember) were counseling me about different churches and denominations. I don’t remember the details of the dream, but as I was waking up, I remember saying “I can’t hear you guys anymore, I’m waking up” and she said “Remember****” (which was the church we had been discussing.) I didn’t know a thing about that church in real life, but then when I investigated it later, it was a good fit.

I think this pretty much covers my own dream visitation experiences. My mother says she sees dead people in dreams too. My husband has had a visitation with his deceased grandfather. Extended family members have many stories of their own. I think this type of thing is much more common than most believe. (I’ve also visited with living people in dreams too– but that’s another story! )

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Marigail’s Mother Watches her Grow

I lost my mother when I was 14 and she 44. All my life I’ve been able to see, hear and feel things no one else around me could. Or at least that’s what I think. Things like this weren’t talked about back in my day.

I don’t know how much time had gone by after my mother’s passing that she paid her first visit. It was Clear, Vivid, Beautiful, Loving, Calming, Peaceful, Warm and it DIDN’T LAST LONG ENOUGH!! She was in a beautiful white gown with a flowing train. We communicated telepathically. I don’t know what realm she was in but it definitely wasn’t the earthly realm because I remember her kind of slouching down reaching for my hand to pull me up to her. I was in awe of her beauty and perfection. A beautiful soft glow around her and we were surrounded by a beautiful soft white light. Her skin was perfect, her hair was silky and shiny. Everything about her was perfect. I looked up at her and said, “Mom, I thought you were dead.” She replied, “I am but it’s ok. Come here, I want to show you something.” But that’s all I remember. I’m sure I wasn’t meant to remember what she showed me beyond that point.

It was as though no time had passed since I saw her last. It was like any other day when she was still here.

Her second visitation, she was wearing what she wore here in the physical world. The visitation was 3 dimensional. She in one dimension, I in another, and her family in another a little further away from where she and I were. Although there were no walls/windows or dividers of any kind, I knew we were in different places. She turned to look at me then to her family who were all standing around in a group, but not together. It was like she was showing me how she could still see everyone and everyone at once, regardless of where they were or what they were doing. Those are the only two visitations I’ve gotten from her (that I remember anyway).

I’ve also gotten visitations while wide awake. I can see spirit energy (not apparitions) in the form of shapes and lights. It’s a beautiful thing, the afterlife.

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Heaven’s Whispers

My mum was a very spiritual women. She always told me that she was not afraid to die only because she had experienced a lot in her time. She had stage 4 cancer. And it was the most hardest thing I’ve ever had to face, to see her in that much pain. The time I did have with her she was very open about her cancer and her death to come. I said ” mum … don’t come see me I will come see you, unless you come in a dream or something. Do not freak me out!! ” she laughed and said . You are my daughter I am your Mother . And I will visit you! Like it or not and prove to you that there is life after death. And I knew she would lol. A few days after the service. I was mentally tired . Just everything got to me and I fell asleep on my sister’s couch. I woke up and saw my mother kneeling in front of me as solid as ever. ( my mother never kneels for Noone because it would be hard for her to stand back up) and in that moment. I actually forgot she had died and she was no longer with us. I was like ” mum what are you doing? ” and she leaned in either to kiss my cheek or whisper something in my ear. I blinked and she was gone. I got up real fast and ran to my sister’s room to tell her what happened. I’ll never forget that experience. Now we often say .. oh scary but when it actually happens. You don’t feel that fear. You feel love . My mother always said we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I believe what I saw was real. And I am so grateful that my mother said her final goodbye . And keeping her word to me. I really do think our loved ones are fine . Trust.

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Val’s visits from her husband

(Val is from Sunderland, England and I just love this heartwarming experience)

One night a couple of years ago, I was lying in bed , I couldn’t sleep at all, I laid in my bed and I felt the mattress on my bed dip, as if another body was just lying in bed in with me, it was 3 am and I knew I wasn’t imagining it, I was totally wide awake ! I spoke to him and said ” Chris, I know your there but if I turn round you might go.”

I must have fell asleep after that but was wide awake at 6 am. I felt the mattress do the same thing and I was so happy but a little frightened, I don’t know why but I think it had something to do with the unknown.

My daughter booked a medium – we were lucky to get a cancellation because she was booked up for the next 2 years. I have wasted money on a lot of mediums over the years and they have been bloody useless so I wasn’t gonna raise my hopes with this lady.

How wrong was I? She was fantastic!! She connected with my fella and even said his name. I was blown away, she also said ” Chris tells me he is aware that you felt him lying in bed beside you and that you felt the mattress dip!

i knew he would come thru, he had a strong character when he was here so i knew if anybody would come thru, it would be him.

I am a full believer of an afterlife but it has changed my life because of the proof that my husband is around me

I KNEW I did not imagine it, I feel blessed, I really do.

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JM finds comfort

My mom loved birds, especially cardinals. They are one of her favorites. There is also an old time belief that seeing a cardinal is a sign from a loved one who has passed. I was by my mom’s side when she passed in hospice. I walked outside to get some air. I walked to the back of the hospice building, which was pretty secluded, and sat on the grass in the back lawn to be alone and cry by myself for a bit. Right after I sat down, I looked up and suddenly a cardinal flew in and landed in the tree directly in front of me. I had never seen cardinals around the hospice before. It sat there for a bit, just in front of me calmly, and then after a little while it flew on and went on its way. I like to think that that was my mom’s way of telling me that she was okay and going to a better place now. I cherish that moment so deeply.

Shortly after she passed, I had a dream where we were in the hospital together. Suddenly she started standing up out of bed. I tried to stop her, “Mom, you’re too weak, too sick! Stop!” And she said “No, look. I’m better now.” She stood up perfectly and suddenly the hospital room fell away and we were together on a beautiful beach. She was healthy again. We walked on the beach and then just sat for a while together. To me, I felt like that was her way of letting me know she was okay now. It really helped me feel less alone.

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DT’s Amazing Hug from Above

As DT’s Dad said about the Spirit World. “it is so amazing, you wouldn’t believe it!

Enjoy this heartwarming dream visit:

I believe our loved ones do get to visit us in our dreams, maybe to help us cope with losing them.

My dad was a born again Christian and after he died I read so many books about heaven (some possibly good, some definitely not true), and I prayed that I could talk to my dad. I just wanted to know how he was and what it was like where he was. I had a dream that he came to visit me, and I hugged him and told him I loved him and missed him. He comforted me and said, “ I know, honey.” I asked him what it was like where he was, and he started laughing and told me, “it is so amazing, you wouldn’t believe it!” It was very comforting to me to hear the joy in his laughter and know that he was good. I know some might believe that it was just a dream and there’s no proof that he was actually visiting me, but I believe he was there and felt more at peace about his passing after that.

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My late dad passed away in 2016 at age 82. At the funeral home, my brother was making the arrangements and lied to the Funeral director stating my dad did not have any money. My dad had life insurance but one policy was giving us a hard time paying for one missed payment. My brother had taken my late dads savings and blew it. Anyway as he told the funeral director this, a light in the ceiling exploded. I was not there but the director told me about it at the viewing, he said your DAD was in that room. He is right, my dad was very funny about finances and my brother took advantage because my dad had dementia. Well another thing happened when my dad took his last breath. I had already left and my brother was alone with him. My dad’s body had shut down and was barely breathing and on the last breath he sat up and opened his eyes, looked at my brother and then looked straight ahead and smiled and passed.

My dad had told me months prior when he was in the hospital for dehydration, that his deceased mother and little dog came to him and told him she would be back. A year later as I prayed every day for a sign from him. I fell asleep and started to view a man walking on a road in a military uniform, this man looked to be thirty, and as I got closer to him I saw every single detail, it was so vivid, so real, and the colors were so beautiful like in the old technicolor movies. I then saw it was my dad and he looked to be 30’s so I didn’t recognize him at first . He was 35 when I was born. As I saw him he was headed somewhere smiling and It was over. God let me get a glimpse of my dad in heaven. When I was awake I had this overwhelming peace like I felt the holy spirit, and I knew it was no dream. This Picture I made is how I saw him in his Uniform from Marines and added my picture, I was a daddy’s girl.

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Got more? CJ sure does!

It all started in 2004 after my grandmother passed at age 84. My identical twin saw our grandmother standing by the ceramic nativity scene of Jesus, around Christmas. I got it after she passed from my mom. She made it herself many years ago.

My grandfather passed a year later and my 15 year old son Mike was in the living room sitting and playing a video game on June 10th, a month after my grandpa passed. Grandpa would of been 88 years old that day. My son saw him standing in the hallway solid looking at him. He told me about it the next morning. My grandpa was a WWII Veteran and he flew with General Dwight Eisenhower in 1942!

Then in 2006 my twin sisters dog, a Pekingese name Bandit got really sick and stopped eating he was only five years old. We took him to the emergency vet and the specialist wanted to do a mylogram that following Monday (Valentine’s day.) The night before I woke up and sat up in my bed,still in a sleep state. I saw a white mist forming on my wall glowing and a little girl in a white robe smiling (a vision.) She looked like me and my twin. She then turned and smiled as if she was greeting someone. I got up and went and told my twin sister. We had no idea who or what was going on. The next day we got a phone call from the specialist saying her Pekingese (Bandit) did not make it during the mylogram. He had GME disease. We were very upset. A week later I went to pick up his ashes for my twin sister, of course I cried all the way home and our dad came to visit. When he was putting his clothes away he saw a black animal rub against his leg and run down the hall. He thought it was our cat. But the cat never came in the house. I then realized the little girl in white robe was my sister’s little girl she had lost in a miscarriage from my vision. Then three months later I went to Atlanta, a four hour drive to get my twin a Pekingese puppy from a rescue group. We had her deceased Pekingese sister named Scarlette and she was mourning Bandit’s death and we thought a new puppy might help. The next morning Scarlette started barking and whining. She ran to my back patio sliding door and I looked and we both saw Bandit walk by. His spirit was solid. He then was gone. The following week my Pekingese Scarlette got really sick. I was so upset thinking she might have what Bandit had. But it turned out to be kidney stones and she came over her in bed and she sat up out of her body and was in a dark space, which I believe was an out had to have emergency surgery. The morning after the surgery I was waking up to get ready to go pick her up at the vet. I felt something jump on the bed and curl up at my feet. I knew it was Bandit. He was still hanging around. My twin sister was still very upset about his passing. And one night she said a peace of body experience. Then everything turned white. And Bandit was in her lap wagging his tale. She knew she was in heaven and got to say goodbye to him. She said he looked to be a year old and licked her then he ran off looking back at her wagging his tail. She then woke up sitting up in the bed. Got up and ran to tell me. I lost Scarlette his sister 10 years later. In 2015. I saw her in a real dream one night walking wagging her tail in heaven. A year later this happened. I even woke up hearing her whine. She use to whine to me to get my attention. Now it’s 2020 and the new puppy Pekingese we got back when Bandit passed is now 14 years old and his named is Nelson. My twin and I have never experienced anything like this before and starting researching and buying books with similar stories.

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K comes to visit and still loves cars!

My friend visited me in my dream.

I lost a close friend of mine, “K” to suicide nearly a year ago, he was only 22. It was a major shock to everyone as we were chatting the night before, making jokes, talking about the usual stuff and nothing seemed off…In the morning I got the shock of my life.

About 3 or so weeks later with the whole thing still very fresh on my mind a had a weird dream. K was there, but it wasn’t like a normal dream. We had a conversation relevant to recent events. I saw him and I got so excited! It was him! I ran over to him and said “You’ve gotta see my car!” (We’re both car enthusiasts and I had recently bought my dream car, he would have been so excited) to which he said I’m a bit of a somber tone “I’ve already seen it! Congratulations dude!” I then made a realization and asked him “are you….here?” He shook his head and said “no..I’m sorry”. I asked him “are you okay now….?” He said he was. We hugged tight for a while and then I woke up shortly after. This is the most vivid dream I’ve ever had, I didn’t realize I was in a dream at the time so I don’t think it was lucid. It sticks with me like any other memory, not like another dream that fades away.

I truly believe that in some way, shape, or form it was him. I cherish that memory and it meant everything to me at the time to know he’s okay.

Also, I believe K was playing songs for me to cheer me up. This would have been in the few weeks/couple months after his passing, I was taking it pretty hard. His favourite band was the Tragically Hip (we’re Canadian) and we connected with music and cars. Anyways, after his passing the song Little Bones would play in my shuffle just a little too often..it would be one song then LB, then maybe two more songs…then LB, then another random song then LB again. If you don’t know the song, in the chorus they repeat “happy hour’s here” I realized it must have been him and when those words clicked I said out loud “Okay I get what you’re trying to say! Happy hour is here, I’ve gotta cheer up”. After I said that it stopped playing over and over.Ever since then, it’s almost like every time I’m really down, especially when I’m thinking of him, it plays. It’s not every single time but it’s enough that it’s gotta be something.

I also have no evidence to prove it, but it was very shortly after his passing that I was able to acquire my dream car (1983-87 Toyota Corolla- pic above.) K always knew I wanted one and knew of all the other times deals fell through for one reason or another. I believe he helped with the circumstances and it’s due to him I was able to get my Corolla project!

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Daddy Came To Visit



Sunday night of this week, my husband was changing the sheets on our bed & I took our dogs out for the last time. As I was standing at the back door, watching the dogs, I suddenly heard a man’s voice as clear as if he standing next to me. (Our neighbors are close, but not THAT close.) My dogs looked at me like they wanted me to tell them what to do. I told them to come in. I came back in & sat down in the couch. My hubby calls from the bedroom to ask if I was just outside & I told him I was. He said, “please don’t freak out”. So of course, I start to freak out. He told me that he felt someone looking at him & he thought he was me. He said that he saw my dad, who he never met, standing in the doorway. He described him perfectly. Hubby told me he called his name, he smiled & disappeared. All of this, the voice in the backyard & the sighting happened at the exact same time. Next, we were sitting in the living room, my husband saw the flag on our kid’s bedroom door move & then our female dog started growling & acting a fool.

The next day, one of our friends called to check on us, I have some health issues. He said that he got a feeling on Sunday night that he should reach out to us for some reason, but didn’t want to call that late. Hubby asked what time Sunday night. It was at the exact same time everything was happening. My big old rough hubby wouldn’t go to bed until I would. Things like this don’t freak me out. It’s not the first time we’ve experienced things, but he still doesn’t consider himself a “believer”.

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A’s Amazing ADE

(I suffered a massive stroke so I apologize for any spelling, grammar and format errors I make.)

In 2012 I had suffered a stroke that killed me. As I slipped away I had felt an overwhelming peace come over me like I had never felt before. Things went black, then I was ascending above and I saw the city below. Next to me I heard a voice from this orb of varied colored lights that also had a mist coming off of it. It was a woman’s voice and she was telling me how excited she was to finally be with her f family and see her Mom and Dad again. I started to feel unsure and told her I wasn’t supposed to be here.

Suddenly I was standing in a otherworldly place that was gorgeous. All the structures and buildings were made of what looked similar to marble but it had an iridescent color between the marbling. The buildings were decorated with colorful stones with gold embezzlement’s lining the buildings and glass fencing.

I walked along the path with my arms crossed and holding to my body. I felt lost and everyone around me was chattering happily with each other in these otherworldly clothes of satin like linens. Some people held hands and were close and joyful with each other. This place was absolutely beautiful.

I came upon a old man who was sitting near a tree and what seemed to be teaching a class with people surrounding him. Some were sitting and others were standing. He called me over to join him. He was teaching the lessons of what life is suppose to be on earth, what it was originally supposed to be and how humans were supposed to be caring for the world and the inhabitants on it but materialism had gotten in the way among other things. I felt an overwhelming knowledge come over me as he continued to teach this class about the world, the universe, life and death. Everyone began to surround me and the old man put his hand on my shoulder and he said, “It’s not your time yet. You will know when it is.” The people from the class all came in and held me in a circle and I was suddenly back.

I opened my eyes and breathed in. I was alive and back in my earthly body. This is how I came to believe in God, and also reincarnation. I don’t claim a religion because my beliefs are now a mix of things. Unfortunately, slowly that knowledge that was instilled into me slowly slipped away over the years, but I feel it in the back of my mind. To me, religion became several fingers pointing to the same being. I don’t need a religion to dictate my relationship with God.

If you’re all wondering, I am 27 now and suffer residual effects that have disabled me but I keep going. My body may not work properly, but my brain still does and I focus on expanding my knowledge in various areas.

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Debbie was searching for a sign and boy, did she get one!

(It’s amazing how our loved ones can lead us to something…and this case is just wonderful!)

I got a sign yesterday, from my best friend Nancy, who passed over Sunday. Silly as it sounds, I had asked for a song from a singer we both love, and have gone to concerts to see. I didn’t really expect anything so quickly, but I was at lunch browsing videos on YouTube for our singer, when one in particular caught my eye. I decided to go ahead and watch it. It was from a concert we had been to together. As I was watching, and listening, something passed by quickly on the video. A face. It was Me. And HER. I had to stop the video and rewind, pause, and there we were. No more than one row from whomever was filming us. She and I together at the concert, and I never knew this video existed… WOW…

Debbie (L) and Nancy

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Carrie’s Tribute to her Dad’s 1 year Remembrance Day

(Love is eternal and this is truly spoken from her heart)

Year one is almost here and I’m just as lost as day one.

I lost you the day at the livestock barn on Memorial Day. We were confused with bids, “who-does-what” and our number when I turned around to ask you if they were bidding in dollars or cents and you weren’t there to help us.

I lost you when I saw a man riding down the road on a lawnmower with a pull behind trailer because it reminded me of Grandpa’s “tall tales” and I said outloud to Ryan, “Take a picture and send it to Daddy!”

I lost you on Dana’s birthday when I pulled my ham out of the oven and put it on the bar expecting you to come from the living room to cut it because only you cut our meats on Sundays.

I lost you on Thanksgiving day when I refused any help because that was our favorite day together. I lost you again that day when I had a beautiful prayer prepared to pray with my family and not one word would pass through my lips.

I lost you that cold dreary night after we were finished with dinner and my husband broke the news to me that our turkey, Tom had been killed earlier that morning. I remembered your sweet words echoing in my mind, “Honey, you’ll never have a thing if you don’t loose something” while I was lost yet again in a sea of grief.

I lost you on February 28, 2019 when you said “Carrie, you’re going to have to let me go” and I lost you when you strategically choreographed the most beautiful passing from the physical world with us over the course of 11 days.

I lost you on March 7th, 2019 at 6 am when I opened my eyes to your very last breath.

But, I found you at a Christmas show at a vendor’s booth decorated with your most favorite pottery ornaments. And I found you again months later when we were putting up your tree and we noticed the new and old ornaments where crafted by the very same potter.

I found you on ilse 16 at Food Lion looking at the Bryer’s chocolate ice cream when the Lord reminded me of your most courageous fight and our 2 am ice cream cones when we discussed life and death, friends and foes and most importantly the love we all shared. And I found you by the milk when I caught a glimpse of Mr. Johnny and I thought about our conversations of you and our sacred parking lot prayer.

I’ve found you time and time in the kitchen when I swear I can hear you say, “that’s enough” or “My Gosh Girl, you’ll dirty up every pan and dish in the house!”

I found you in Mr. C’s one day when an old family friend said, “Are you a Belk?” and when I answered her with a slight nod of a confusion she replied, “I knew it cause you look just like your Daddy!”

I find you in my dreams, in my plans, my decisions and when I’m captivated by something and I realize I have the tip of my tongue pressed to the roof of my mouth just like you did.

I lose you and find you every time someone mentions your name because I’m reminded there is a mass of people who are missing you too, not just us.

I’ve lost you over and over and over again, but every single time I find you I am reminded of your unconditional love and how much you truly loved each and every one of us. I’m reminded of what an exemplary human being you were, how kind you were to all of God’s people and creatures and how you served others, forsaking yourself up until your very last breath.

One year. 365 days have passed and my heart yearns for Beulahland. I’ll loose more people and Heaven will be more sweeter, but what I wouldn’t give have one more cup of coffee with you. I hope you can see me, Daddy because I can sure see you every day.

One day soon, sweet man. ❤💔

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Kitty comes for a visit!

My husband and I tried 8 years for a baby, but it didn’t work, so we gave up and our cats became some kind of a replacement for children. We’re not crazy cat people, but we love them dearly and sometimes refer to them as our “furry kids”.

Chester, a red, cuddly, giant teddy bear, was our first cat. When he became sick (FIP), it went bad pretty quick and after two weeks we had to put him to sleep. It was a horrible day for all three of us, We couldn’t stop crying, I threw up because i was so upset and exhausted (which never happened before or after.) Even now, 13 years later, i tear up when i think about Chester’s last days.It took a long time for us and our other cat, Sox, to get used to Chester not being there anymore. 3 months later a cat of a friend had kittens and we decided to give one of them a forever home. When Zou-Zou came to us, I still was very sad, but it got better every day.

And here’s what happened…

One night I woke up because i felt a cat jumping onto the bed. After a few seconds the cat walked to the head of the bed and snuffled my hair. Everyone who has cats knows exactly how this feels. I was grumpy because at that time our cats weren’t allowed in our bedroom and I thought my husband forgot to close the door. So i turned around, saw no cat, looked at the door and saw that the door was indeed closed! .I stood up, walked to the living room and was greeted by two sleepy cats who looked at me like: “What the hell, woman!. Go back to bed!”

I like to think that Chester visited me to say good bye for the very last time. I think he knew that Zou-Zou would help me to cope with his death and that i was able to finally let him go.It was a sad, but also very beautiful experience.

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Davi and his Grandma

Since 2012,my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimers, as expected it got worse and worse as this sad disease is. By 2017 she couldn’t speak properly, was eating only soup and my mom bathed her in bed, most of the time she had no idea of what was going on around her. I always tried to make my mother happy and do everything I could because she was literally living for my grandmother.

In November of 2018, I was in the room with my grandma, my mom left the room, my grandma looked at my face like she was fine, it was like she was all conscious again, she gave that look and said “thank you”, I didn’t get it at first, I asked “for what?” but she wasn’t responding anymore. She unfortunately died a few days after that.

I work at an airport in Brazil, in the same month that she died, a old lady that looked very much like her was there, sitting in a cafeteria, she looked at me and looked away, I couldn’t stop looking much at her because she looked exactly like my grandmother if she hadn’t been sick. Then she came at me and asked if I could take her to the toilet, she hugged my arm and told me that she was sick and finally got better, and that now she’s traveling to see her family.

When she told me that, my eyes were full of tears and I got a feeling that I knew what was going on, I took her to the toilet and when she came back she said thank you to me and kissed my cheek. I told her that I lost my grandmother a few days ago and she hugged me and said that my family would move on. She had such a happy expression, she was so calm and in peace with everything.

A few minutes after I left her at the cafeteria again and she was gone. I know it was someone else, I can’t tell if it was something spiritual but I definitely felt like it was a way to my grandma say good bye, I told my mom about this, she got emotional and she said the same.

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Lanee’s Spiritual Meditation and Synchronicities