Jeremy Corbyn to become PM within days after Chris Grayling put in charge of cabinet coup

Jeremy Corbyn is expected to be announced as Prime Minister within days after control of the Tory cabinet coup was handed to Chris Grayling.

Sources within Number Ten believe Chris Grayling was given the task of ousting Theresa May because at least in that role there was no opportunity for him to flush millions down the drain; a decision that Conservative officials are already regretting.

Addressing press this morning, Chris Grayling explained, “I take my role as organiser of the leadership coup very seriously.

“As such, I paid a small fee of thirty million quid to a consultancy to guide me through the process. And I must say, Seaborne Coup Advisors Ltd have been very helpful.”

He continued, “Theresa has to go, and apparently there is someone called Jeremy Corbyn who is quite popular. Well, not as popular as he was two years ago, but some people seem to still prefer him to Theresa, even with all the anti-Jew stuff.

“So, watch this space.”

Jeremy Corbyn was unavailable to respond to rumours of his imminent ascension to Prime Minister, presumably as he assumed all incoming phone calls from journalists were about his bewildering absence from the People’s Vote march yesterday.