Commander: Daughter of Autumn WRITTEN BY Nicholas Wolf

Me of the past: You won't believe it -- I just traded 3 of those garbage Force of Wills for the best card ever! I'm so excited I almost spilled Surge on my Starter jacket.

Me of the present: What card? Time Walk? Dual Lands? What?

Me of the past: Pfft, Time Walk? Really? That card is dumb, and blue is the worst color. No, I just got the biggest creature ever printed! Force of Nature! Look at that face! He's so massive he doesn't even have a mouth.

Me of the present: That doesn't make sense, and I hate everything you stand for. And there have been bigger and better creatures than Force of Nature, just so you know. And they don't punch you in the face for not feeding it four G a turn, either.

Me of the past: I'm not buying it. My cards are the best. You can't get any better than cards like Baron Sengir. I mean, he's a vampire. He has a toy ball. Or what about Daughter of Autumn? She looks like she says “laugh at me all you want, it won't hurt my feelings, because I have an apple.” I wish I could build a deck that lets me always have her ready to play, like she was in my hand. And the deck would be like her army, and she's the...I don't know...the sergeant or something.

Me of the present: Do me a favor and burn all your Homelands cards right now. Except Didgeridoo. You can keep that one.

Me of the past: Do people play Daughter of Autumn in 2015?

Me of the present: Sometimes, if they want to look cool and smart by using such a lame, obscure card.

A DECK FOR COOL AND SMART PEOPLE: Daughter of Autumn

Past me almost accidentally invented the format we now call Commander, but he was too spastic and too obsessed with giant unplayable creatures like Leviathan to ever really nail down anything that could be considered rules. So today, in homage of past me, and everyone's inner Homelands-loving, Force of Will-trading idiots, I present to you Daughter of Autumn.

Obviously the card is terrible. I'm not going to pretend it's not. But this isn't about me. Well, not about present day me, at least. Thankfully, because of that little white mana symbol in Daughter's utterly useless ability, we get to use white as well as green. If I were building an ultra-competitive Green/White deck, there are several much better choices for Commander. Like, any other ones. Just pick one. I'd play Emmara Tandris before I played Daughter of Autumn. Me of the past doesn't know about Emmara Tandris, though, or things like “value” or “playing with card sleeves so you don't ruin your City of Traitors with spilled Yoo-Hoo.”

So what do we do? What's the point of playing a general if you know it's horrible? Well, we pack the other 99 cards so full of good stuff that we stand a chance in spite of our checkerboard background-loving arborophile general.

Me of the past: So this “Commander” format...you sit down at the table, with a 100 card deck. Daughter of Autumn stands at the head of your army, apple in hand, ready to garden! Then what happens?

Me of the present: Well, after everyone is done laughing at me, we try to ruin everyone else's fun.

FUN RUINERS

Akroma's Vengeance

Aura Fracture

Aura of Silence

Aura Shards

Austere Command

Dueling Grounds

Duplicant

Gideon Jura

Kor Haven

Oblation

Path to Exile

Predator, Flagship

Return to Dust

Seht's Tiger

Selesnya Charm

Swords to Plowshares

Terminus

Unexpectedly Absent

Wrath of God

These days, thanks to the most recent Commander product released by WotC, and most players' instinctual urge to be degenerate, our beloved format sees a lot of artifact and enchantment abuse. Whether it's artifact shenanigans behind a Daretti, Scrap Savant, super-mega more-weapons-than-we-have-arms Voltron insanity thanks to Nahiri, the Lithomancer, or just good ol' fashioned Squirrel Nest + Earthcraft, a lot of decks rely on artifacts and enchantments to allow them to do unfair things. But our commander isn't a planeswalker. Our commander eats apples. That's her special power.

So we have to remind everyone from time to time that being unfair isn't very nice. What is nice, though, is wanton destruction of everything they hold dear. We have several methods of artifact/enchantment destruction to ensure that if we die, it's going to be because we ran out of apples. Aura Shards highlights a group of spells that are included almost exclusively to rain on parades. When every creature you cast is a Harmonic Sliver, it doesn't take long before everyone's shiny toys are deader than dirt, like Autumn Willow herself presumably demands. And if Aura Shards isn't enough, we can slow them down with Aura of Silence (remember, even though the Weatherlight version says “target opponent”, it actually applies to all opponents. We don't discriminate.) As for creatures, we can kill them wholesale as well, with Terminus, Wrath of God, or Austere Command. We can also pick them off individually with our one-for-one removal. Dueling Grounds shuts down token strategies by acting like a less financially-expensive Silent Arbiter, and works really well with Gideon Jura to protect our life total. And sometimes we just want to break everything, hence the Akroma's Vengeance.

Seht's Tiger makes an appearance to guarantee no one Tunnel Visions us to death (and also because he's a tiger with a hat) and we also have Predator, Flagship to toss stuff into the air then blast it, like mystical skeet shooting.

Me of the past: But where are your giant creatures?! Everyone knows that the only way to win in Magic is to attack with giant creatures! Smash!

Me of the present: One day you'll realize that you win in Magic with card efficiency, tempo, mana advantage, and superior play.

Me of the past: Smash!

Me of the present: …

GIANT CREATURES

Angel of Serenity

Craterhoof Behemoth

Karametra, God of Harvests

Knight of the Reliquary

Pelakka Wurm

Nylea, God of the Hunt

Rampaging Baloths

Restoration Angel

Sigarda, Host of Herons

Soul of the Harvest

Terastodon

Thragtusk

Titania, Protector of Argoth

Woodfall Primus





Past me might be a relentless Timmy, but he is right about one thing. We do want to eventually win. And if we're going to hate so hard on unfair decks by packing so much removal, it seems hypocritical to utilize such methods ourselves. So, per past me's suggestion, we'll just smash smash smash.

The particular creatures we've chosen to play are all pretty straightforward. Most have a useful “enter the battlefield” ability in order to maximize value. Of course, in a deck that is designed to punish people for laughing at our apple, some of our monsters like to destroy stuff when they come into play, like Woodfall Primus and Nasty Terasty himself, Terastodon. Soul of the Harvest helps refill our hand while being a pretty hefty dude in his own right, and Karametra, God of Harvests helps us flood our board with lands while acting as an indestructible smasher if we can hit devotion. With all our EtB triggers going on, we're playing Restoration Angel/Thragtusk so we can pretend it's 2013 again, and Angel of Serenity allows us to either swallow up opposing blockers or Restock our hand, depending on the state of things.

Me of the past: Ooo, a 9/9 Elephant! That's what I like to see! Is that the biggest you've got though?

Me of the present: I'm not playing Autochthon Wurm under any circumstances. You can't make me.

Me of the past: Fine, I guess I'll be happy enough with ‘phants. But all these giant monsters are so expensive. How do we actually get them into play? They're neat to look at and all, but I only really like them when they're turned sideways and smash smash smashing.

Me of the present: That's the most sane thing you've said so far.

RAMP RAMP RAMPING

Abundance

Birds of Paradise

Boundless Realms

Coalition Relic

Garruk Wildspeaker

Harrow

Krosan Verge

Lotus Cobra

Mirari's Wake

Rampant Growth

Selvala, Explorer Returned

Solemn Simulacrum

Sol Ring

Weathered Wayfarer

Wood Elves

We have to get on top of things quickly if we want to build an advantage over unfair decks. We have several early plays to get us off to a good start. Sol Ring Lotus Cobra, and Rampant Growth can come down early and get us online ahead of schedule, ready to break everyone's trinkets and play some dinosaurs. Weathered Wayfarer can tutor any of our utility lands and get us out of an unfortunate mana screw. And to top things off, Boundless Realms lets us go from ramp to RAMP at the cost of a paltry seven mana, as well as triggering our landfall cards like Lotus Cobra, Seer's Sundial, or Rampaging Baloths several times over. And when we have a million lands in play, Abundance makes sure we don't have any boring lands on the top of our library when we really want to be drawing gas.

There was one card I considered very carefully when building this deck. I stared at Daughter of Autumn for what seemed liked hours, studying her goofy apple-holding, barren tree-backgrounding face, looking for a sign. “Should I play Armageddon?” I asked. I really want to. We're trying to ruin fun, after all, and what ruins fun faster than mass land destruction? I came to the conclusion that Daughter of Autumn would frown on such backhanded tactics. She's better than that. You can't grow apples in apocalypse, she would probably say.

Me of the past: You keep complaining about unfair decks! Do they play Serra Angels on the fourth turn?

Me of the present: No, they combo-kill you with Tendrils of Agony or crush you with Ezuri, Renegade Leader and a horde of elves on turn three. Serra Angel is the epitome of just plain ol' fair.

Me of the past: Oh, so like, Time Spiral + Memory Jar with Megrim in play.

Me of the present: I...uh, yes actually.

Me of the past: Well then you have to find your stuff quick! To the tutors!

FINDING STUFF QUICK

Eladamri's Call

Elvish Piper

Enlightened Tutor

Eternal Witness

Fierce Empath

Garruk, Caller of Beasts

Green Sun's Zenith

Harmonize

Mind's Eye

Pattern of Rebirth

Praetor's Counsel

Seer's Sundial

Past me is correct. With all the nonsense going on around us, we have to make sure we're armed and ready. We can dig for giant dudes with the help of Eladamri's Call, Green Sun's Zenith, or Fierce Empath and cheat them into play at instant speed with Elvish Piper. And with all the extra lands hitting the field, we can draw a bunch of extra cards off of Seer's Sundial. Pattern of Rebirth can potentially turn a Birds of Paradise into a Terastodon, and Praetor's Counsel and Eternal Witness let us get extra mileage out of things sent to the graveyard.

Me of the past: I think I'm starting to understand. Polar Kraken is neat but Tarmogoyf is better.

Me of the present: Yes, sadly. To be honest, past me, I feel kind of bad that I ruined your optimistic but naive outlook on Magic.

Me of the past: It's okay. I was bound to become embittered and jaded anyway.

Me of the present: You have no idea how right you are. But it doesn't have to be that way! We still have room for fun stuff!

FUN STUFF

Awakening

Hymn of Rebirth

Mossbridge Troll

Lightning Greaves

Mimic Vat

Skullclamp

Strata Scythe

Yes, this section is comparatively small. We are devoting a large swath of our list to ruining fun, after all. But we have a few slots available to devote to fun stuff. Awakening allows everyone to untap dudes and lands during every untap step, which doesn't really benefit us all that much, but it's always great to do a bunch of stuff during your main phase, say “pass the turn” while goofily staring at your opponent, and untapping all your stuff while they do the same, all while locking eye contact. It also pairs pretty well with Winding Canyons and Selvala, Explorer Returned to allow us to have a parley party every turn, ensuring we get to drop giant monsters whenever our Timmy heart desires. Hymn of Rebirth is a weird reanimate spell that spits in the face of the modern day color pie, and Mossbridge Troll is one of the weirdest creatures ever made who laughs at board wipes that aren't Final Judgment. The equipment is here because equipment is fun, and Mimic Vat is always a good time, especially with opponents playing good creatures.

LANDS

Command Tower

Dryad Arbor

Emeria, the Sky Ruin

Gavony Township

Razorverge Thicket

Reliquary Tower

Rogue's Passage

Selesnya Sanctuary

Strip Mine

Sunpetal Grove

Temple Garden

Temple of the False God

Winding Canyons

Windswept Heath

Plains x 11

Forest x 8

Me of the past: Crucible of Worlds! Play that with Strip Mine!

Me of the present: What have I done?

Me of the past: Value! Synergy! Tempo! Card advantage!

Me of the present: Calm down, past me. It's just lands.

Me of the past storms off, mumbling about the audacity of WotC to print a delve Ancestral Recall, and me of the present casts Daughter of Autumn from the command zone with a straight face.

Thanks for reading, and be sure to follow me on Twitter (@Nicholas_Etc) for up-to-the-minute musings on life, Magic, and cereal. Also, if you plan to be in attendance at MAGFest from January 23-26th, hit me up at the aforementioned Twitter handle, and we can play some Commander amongst the arcade machines and Samus cosplayers. Until next time, friends. Signing off.

Nicholas Wolf is a writer who lives in Flint, Michigan. He's been playing Magic: The Gathering since Tempest and still doesn't consider Urza's Saga to be broken at all. He prefers building decks that have either have 40 cards (Limited) or 100 (Commander).