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Portia heart & soul
In an intimate interview, Arrested Development star Portia de Rossi talks for the first time about coming out to grandma and finding happiness with Ellen DeGeneres
Excerpted from The Advocate, September 13, 2005
In her first-ever interview with the gay press, Arrested Development’s Portia de Rossi has decided to give an unabashed, no-holds-barred account of her long struggle to come to grips with being a lesbian. “I’ve had my years of being not open, many years of it,” she says. “It’s an honor for me to do this; it’s just nice to be asked.”
Although neither Portia nor her partner, Ellen DeGeneres, has jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch proclaiming their love, even a passing glimpse of them together confirms it: They’re crazy about each other and deeply content in the relationship that began in December after VH1’s Big in ’04 awards show.
Shortly into our interview—held on a screened-in lanai overlooking a peaceful canyon scene—Portia reveals that she’s just come out to the final person in her family who didn’t know.
Portia de Rossi: You think that’s the end of it when you tell one or two people, “I’m gay.” Then, of course, it continues throughout your life. The last person I told was my grandma, a few days ago in Australia. She’s 981⁄2 years old.
The Advocate: Wow! How’d you tell her?
I wasn’t planning on it, but I knew I wouldn’t avoid it. So she made the mistake of asking me about my love life, and I said, “It’s great. I’m very, very happy, and we’ve been together for eight months, and everything is wonderful.” And she said, “What’s his name?” And I took a deep breath and said, “Ellen DeGeneres.” And she looked really confused. “Alan?” I said, “Ellen.” The talk show isn’t on in Australia, but she remembered Ellen’s sitcom and just remembered her as a personality, and a gay personality.
First thing she said was, “Well, this is a very bad day.” It was the most honest reaction I’ve ever had. Then she said, “Darlin’, you’re not one of those.” It took her two minutes of being angry and upset and frustrated and disgusted—and then she just held her arms out to me and said, “I love you just the same.” When I left Australia, my grand said, “I’d really like to meet her.”
I’m crying already, my God. Four minutes in, and I’m already crying.
When paparazzi pictures were published of you and your ex, Francesca Gregorini, nearly five years ago, you never said anything to the press about being gay. But you didn’t deny it either.
That was exactly my stance. The most important thing for me was to never, ever, ever deny it. But I didn’t really have the courage to talk about it. I was thinking, Well, the people who need to know I’m gay know, and I’m somehow living by example by continuing on with my career and having a full, rich life, and I am incidentally gay, but it’s not a big political platform. I justified it in so many ways. Believe me, I had a very, very long and difficult struggle with my sexuality.
Don’t we all!
That’s what I mean—there’s nothing special about it.
Except when you’re a public figure, it’s different.
It’s somewhat different because there are more people to tell. And that’s the other thing—I thought, I’m out in my life, that doesn’t involve my public life. I introduced Ron Howard and Brian Grazer [executive producers of Arrested Development] to Francesca the first time I met them.
In [the film] Sirens your character, Giddy, is innocent, naive, almost a dumb blond. But in your TV roles you’ve been much more knowing and tough—and you were certainly icy on Ally McBeal. How did you get channeled into those sort of roles?
That character on Ally McBeal was the most difficult one I’ve ever played. I don’t naturally sit or stand or walk or hold my head the way she did. That sounds so actorly, but it’s true—I had to consciously make sure my head was straight, because my natural being is to slouch. It was four whole years of making sure I didn’t shift my weight onto my left leg and put my hand on my hip.
It’s funny, I think everyone is typecast except for me! I look at Arrested Development and think, I can kind of see elements [of the actor in each character]—except for me. I’m nothing like Lindsay! Which is ridiculous, because obviously I am.
Do you think people stereotype you and Ellen?
I see Ellen as very feminine—she’s so compassionate and there are so many characteristics of her that are typically female. She’s so caring and kind, and she’s beautiful and open.
Anything new with you and Ellen?
We’ve just had an amazing summer. We bought a ranch [in California] with 120 acres. Ellen just bought me a horse, Jones, who’s a beautiful big gray gelding. Eventually I just want to rescue animals and live on that farm.
Does Ellen ride too?
She doesn’t right now. Oh, but she will.
Actress Portia de Rossi of ''Arrested Development'' recently had her "first-ever interview with the gay press", namely ''The Advocate''. In the interview, she talks about her sexuality and romance with comedienne and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres.

The 32-year-old Australian reveals she recently told her 98-year-old grandmother that she was a lesbian, when visiting back home. Supposedly her grandmother had a change of heart after two minutes, accepting De Rossi's sexuality.

DeGeneres and De Rossi met at an awards show in December 2004, and both immediately broke up with their respective partners. In the May issue of ''Allure'' magazine, DeGeneres said she hopes that she and De Rossi "are together for the rest of our lives."

The interview also reveals she turned down lesbian roles, including one opposite Angelina Jolie in a movie called ''Gia''. De Rossi says she is now fine playing gay characters, but will not do sex-scenes, gay or straight.

On why she suddenly feels comfortable on publicly speaking on the topic, "I was thinking, well, the people who need to know I'm gay know, and I'm somehow living by example by continuing on with my career and having a full, rich life, and I am incidentally gay, but it's not a big political platform. I justified it in so many ways."

Another probable reason she consented to the interview is its timing, right before the upcoming season debut of ''Arrested Development''.