Emotional Payoffs vs Real Gains

A few years ago, I read a series of blog posts on ribbonfarm.com that he ultimately turned into a book called The Gervais Principle. When I read it originally I thought it was a really interesting post, and I thought that it was a good model for corporate reality.

But outside of the corporate world, I didn’t see much application.  So, let me VERY briefly explain…

The article is based on the idea of taking something called the McLeod hierarchy and seeing how it plays out in the American version of the tv series, The Office.

Here’s a visual:

I’m going to briefly explain what these labels mean, because they have separate meanings from what they typically mean in every day conversation.

Losers are basically clock punchers.  They put the minimum effort into their jobs necessary to get a paycheck and get meaning from elsewhere in their lives like family, outside hobbies, friends, etc.  They don’t care about their company and are just going through the motions.

Clueless are usually the overachieving team players who end up in middle management for their dedication and going the extra mile for their company.

Sociopaths are not clinical sociopaths…these  are people who are bent on climbing the corporate hierarchy.  They are clever, hard-nosed, tough and very logical and are always looking for an angle or an edge over other people and are willing to break rules or not play fair to win.

The main difference between these 3 from my perspective is how they see  value in life and social interactions.

Clueless seek tangible recognition like job titles, badges, honors to put on their walls, certificates of achievement, etc.  Many conspicuous displays of wealth like expensive cars and obvious brand label clothes could also fall into this category.

What they want is to be respected for their achievements in out-performing others.  This is the kind of person who likes to have lots of initials behind their names, and will make sure that if they have a PhD, that you call them Dr.

In contrast, the Losers care primarily about emotional payoffs.  Emotional payoffs come from the regard of their peers so this is things like being a valued member of the team, being a pillar of the community, and generally getting praise for being a “good person”.  Cheap fame like landing a spot in a reality tv show, or having a lot of followers on social media could also fit into this.

What they want is to feel good about themselves and for other people to affirm them and their life decisions.  This can be in whatever their social circle is so winning a drinking competition at the local pub, and running in a marathon for cancer would be exactly the types of things that Losers love to do.

Lastly, we have the Sociopaths.  Sociopaths, care about what I call, “real” gains.  And “real” gains are anything that checks out from a cost-benefit analysis.  It’s a bit difficult to tease these apart from the accolades that Clueless seek, but the difference is that a Sociopath wants the accolades in as much as they help him achieve some other aim.

They are a means, not an end in that they don’t care about the accolade itself.  They care what it can do for them.  In this regard, a fake would be just as good as a real one if they won’t get caught.

The Clueless wouldn’t be satisfied with a fake, because they want the achievement, itself, and in fact, would be quite upset to find that someone else cheated to get it, while a Sociopath would likely respect a person as clever for finding a way to get the same benefits without any of the hard work.

Now, you might be wondering why I’m even talking about this and how this relates to dating and women and especially how this relates to dating Asian girls so keep reading…

In the dating world, some girls are mainly going for emotional payoffs and others are going for “real” gains.  The smartest girls are going for “real” gains while making it seem that they are after emotional gains.  After all, girls who are only going after “real” gains are called: whores, gold diggers, social climbers, etc.

Now this is where the real difference in dating in the west vs dating in Asia comes up.  Asian women are much more looking for “real” gains than western women.

Well, in the west, if a girl wants a nice car, expensive brand goods, to go on exotic trips, and have a big house, she’s supposed to work hard and get it for herself.

She’s an independent woman and she doesn’t need a man…

So why do they bother with men at all?  For the emotional payoffs of the Loser.  The attention, of course, and then the biological desire for sex is there, but with the modern idea that women shouldn’t try to get “real” gains from men, they are going for the most emotionally exciting experience.

There is no need to take into account practicalities in a western woman’s dating and sex life.

Contrast that with Asian girls who, for the most part, care a lot more about family and don’t want to be spending all day at an office (who does, right?).  So they are looking for “real” gains because that will allow them to stay home with the kids and go shopping and drink tea with the girls once the kids are old enough to go to school.

They also need to lock down a man who is going to stay with them because if you’re a 39yo divorced Asian woman raising your kids as a single mother, people will think you’re a damn fool for not being able to hold on to your man, or for choosing a dud in the first place.

And good luck having a dating life or getting remarried!

Now, whether you agree with this or not is irrelevant.  This is how Asian societies think and it shapes behavior, big time.

On the other hand, the 39yo divorced western women is still hot and can party after the kids are tucked in or the baby sitter shows up.

Once again, you can agree or disagree, but it doesn’t matter…these ideas are out there and they influence behavior.

This is why when many western guys who are awesome with girls back home come to Asia, they have a hard time understanding Asian girls.  They think that a hot club make-out while they’re grinding her clit through her jeans is going to go somewhere (and of course, sometimes it does,) but a lot of times it doesn’t and the guys is baffled when he goes home empty handed.

On the reverse, the reliable guy who may not be very emotionally compelling can get action in Asia like he can’t back at home because he has “real” gains on offer.

Now that I’ve outlined this basic dynamic, I want to shift to talking about why women run circles around guys in the dating world using another ribbonfarm.com diagram.

So, check it out in a few days…

Attachment Theory vs (S)He Just Isn’t That Into You?

Just yesterday, I finished reading the book, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love (that’s a mouthful), and while I enjoyed reading it, I’m always really skeptical of anything I agree with too much.

If I agree with it then I’m reinforcing my existing beliefs which means that my brain is probably not critically engaged enough to pick up on what doesn’t match and I’m missing out on learning opportunities.

There’s a quote that goes something like:

If you and I both think the same thing, then one of us is redundant

Anyway, I enjoyed this book quite a bit, and there are a few things that are interesting about it and a few things that I think are adequately explained with how they fit in.  In fact, maybe all of the interesting points from my perspective may fall into the category of not being adequately explained, which is probably why I find those particular things interesting.

To VERY briefly explain attachment theory, there are 3 basic attachment styles:

Secure people are just like you would expect…they are comfortable with intimacy, trust their partners easily, and assume the best in conflicts which helps keep them from escalating out of control.

Anxious people really crave intimacy with someone, but at the same time tend to be continuously concerned that their significant other doesn’t care for them enough and any small detail that could potentially mean that they are less loved than they want to be is highlighted and is cause for major concern.

Avoidant people want to be attached, but when they actually find someone the closeness is suffocating and they do various things to sabotage the intimacy they have in their relationships.

Now that we have the basics, we can  go into some of the weird things that come to mind when you think about this more closely.

A lot of the book is focused on what anxious and avoidant people can do to be happier in their relationships and the problems that they face and how you can manage those if you are with one of those two types.

One of the most surprising pieces of advice that I found in this book was the advice for anxious people that they date multiple people simultaneously.  It’s rare that a mainstream, (somewhat) scientifically rigorous book recommends that.  The authors’ reasoning is that anxious people put too many expectations on others early on and by having more than one prospect they reduce that anxiety by having a “plan b” (my words, not theirs).  They mention this kind of in passing, and they don’t go into detail about what this might look like.

It’s unclear if they are advocating some form of polyamory or they just mean for people to “play the field” before settling in on one person.  Either way, those kind of arrangements often open up other problems that are totally not addressed like how to manage multiple people, and how to pare down to one once you’ve selected a person from the pool to be with.

The next thing that struck me is that their characterizations of an avoidant person don’t distinguish between a person who has problems with intimacy and a person who just doesn’t want to get too intimate with a particular person for whatever reason (usually because that person doesn’t meet their minimum threshold for a serious partner because of looks, temperament, geography, religion, finances, education background, etc.)

There definitely is a difference between someone who has problems with intimacy and someone who really likes a person but doesn’t wnat to be serious about them because they have a major black mark against them like a drinking problem, for example.

Under these circumstances, the securely attached person might appear to be avoidant, when actually they are just being prudent.  What this highlights is that these types are really about a person’s INTERNAL experience, but since those aren’t visible to outsiders, they can mis-characterize your attachment style and then interact with you in a sub-optimal way.

Ultimately, the books seems to say that the conflicts that come when these three types interact with one another are the differing levels of intimacy with Anxious at one end, requiring lots of intimacy and Avoidants at the opposite end wanting a lot less intimacy and a lot more freedom.

Secures are..?  Able to be flexible according to their partners?  it’s quite unclear where secures fall into this, but I guess the authors may be saying that because they are secure they can negotiate their intimacy needs and make sensible compromises and trade-offs to (mostly?) satisfy their own intimacy needs and those of their partner.

The last thing, I want to mention is that they imply that the avoidant type uses seeing other people as a way to reduce their attachment to a given partner and to maintain their autonomy as they might also do by long absences, for example.  What’s not clear to me though is if someone engages in those behaviors but hides them from their partner.

So, an Avoidant might maintain contact with an ex and want it to be known so that the other person is on notice not to get too close, but a secure might maintain a relationship with an ex just because they like that person.  And I think that this can be even more confusing if you think of the case of a person wanting to and deciding to have sex with someone else.

From what he book seems to be saying, if the person is Avoidant, they would want their partner to know to keep them at bay, and if they were anxious they would either be doing it for some perceived slight and may or may not want to keep it a secret, or they are doing it to get more attention by trying to create jealousy in their partner in which case they would want their partner to find out.

But what about the securely attached person…

Theoretically, they are satisfied enough with the level of intimacy they are able to negotiate to stay with their partner and be calm and supportive but that doesn’t mean that their personal needs are being met at the level they want them to be met at.  So, if a Secure was seeing someone on the side, presumably they would work to keep it a secret because they don’t want to hurt their partner and aren’t playing any games to try and change their partners behavior because they can negotiate directly around their needs and wants, right?

The authors don’t say.

So ultimately, why this book is very interesting and while I found myself nodding along on a regular basis, I also felt that they conflated intimacy needs with these attachment styles but I suspect that even securely attached people have different intimacy preferences or, they may want to keep a low intimacy relationship because (s)he isn’t that into you at the moment…though that can definitely change with time.


Examining Dolph Ziggler’s Rise to Prominence on WWE Programming

May 28, 2015 - WWE

Dolph Ziggler is deliberate by many WWE fans to be a best palm in a company. Every time he’s in a ring, he works hard, bumps tough and sells moves arguably improved than anyone else on a card. His partial of a module always stands out due to his ability to pull a throng in and keep their courtesy on him from bell to bell.

But his arise to inflection did not come overnight. For Ziggler, delayed and solid wins a race.

His repute has been warranted over a seven-year run on a categorical roster, in that he went from being a standard repulsive heel to being one of a many reputable performers in a locker room. Ziggler‘s stream place in WWE was not handed to him; it’s his since no one else can do what he does, and no one can have a impact he has.

In a association that has seen a satisfactory share of stars come and go, Ziggler has been a one unchanging over a past several years. CM Punk left, Batista returned, afterwards left as well, Chris Jericho left, afterwards came back, and Edge retired; Ziggler was there by it all.

Much like John Cena, Ziggler has stayed a march and finished all asked of him. Indeed, there might be no improved instance of a loyal workhorse as dedicated to his qualification and interesting a fans as Ziggler. He is a one reliable, proven commodity in a business that is ever-changing.

Ziggler has turn a cornerstone of WWE programming, and it’s tough to suppose not saying him there.

But some fans might be doubt since he’s selected to stay there in a initial place. Despite how reputable he is among a assembly and among his peers, a fact is Ziggler keeps removing a ambience of categorical eventuality glory, usually to have it taken divided from him each time.

His initial World pretension power lasted a matter of mins behind in 2009, when he was partial of an angle that saw him being crowned a champ, usually to remove it behind roughly immediately. His second pretension win came in 2013, many to a pleasure of a fans that had been ancillary him via his championship quest.

However, an damage put him on a shelf for a month and when he returned, he mislaid his initial pretension invulnerability opposite Alberto Del Rio. The Showoff had once again finished his partial to get over, perform a fans and once again, it seemed WWE wanted to go in another direction.

He’s had opportunities along a way, been tighten to a tip and each time he gets there, zero happens. Secondary championship reigns have helped rouse him, though zero compares to being a tip titleholder. Unfortunately, that has not unequivocally happened for Ziggler.

But he has not been deterred. While his fans cry out for him to be featured aloft on a card, Ziggler continues on his path. He is maybe a many unchanging talent on a roster; no matter what happens, he always turns in one good opening after another.

It’s usually who he is, and arguably no one in WWE is improved during it.

He’s so good that he can be extrinsic any time opposite any competition in any match.  Fans have seen him be a categorical eventuality man operative opposite John Cena, to being a man operative a ladder compare opposite 6 other Superstars. In both instances, Ziggler shines since his talent and expostulate can't be denied.

He is able of being that versatile since of a work he puts in. Ziggler can work with anyone and have a good display since he’s really unselfish in a ring and understands how to gait a bout. His ring psychology is second to none, and there’s really small squandered transformation in his matches.

While many fans discuss either or not Roman Reigns deserves a categorical eventuality run, Ziggler is watchful in a wings. As WWE promotes Seth Rollins as a destiny of a company, Ziggler is still progressing his high standards. Brock Lesnar’s approaching lapse will certainly bleed fan contention per his loyal value to a association while Ziggler continues to dwarf everybody on a card.

Ziggler is a categorical eventuality star, he has “it,” and there is no denying that. He is one of a wheels that keeps WWE programming branch since he is that good in a ring, and he is that ardent about creation his matches a best of a night.

It’s for that really reason that his destiny in WWE contingency embody a genuine run as a tip guy. Rollins, Reigns and Dean Ambrose continue to conflict over a WWE World Heavyweight Championship, though Ziggler contingency eventually get his shot during categorical eventuality immortality. He’s already determined himself as a talent that’s able of doing a vigour and delivering when it matters most; he usually needs a company’s subsidy to make it official.

A Superstar with a proven lane record that honestly wants to be a best and give his best contingency be rewarded. Ziggler has come too distant and finished too many to usually stay a march but realizing his intensity in a tip spotlight.

WWE certainly knows what it has in Ziggler and if he continues to do what he does, afterwards hopefully he will finally be given a event he’s worked so tough to get. No one deserves it some-more than he does.

source ⦿ http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2478350-examining-dolph-zigglers-rise-to-prominence-on-wwe-programming

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Plant Magazine of Botanical-online September 2017

Natural remedies

Mediterranean diet properties

What is the Mediterranean diet?

The Mediterranean diet is a dietary pattern and lifestyle, which has been shaped throughout history, the result of the crossroads of cultures that occurs in Mediterranean countries.

Food is a basic pillar in the culture of civilizations, reflecting the changes in society and its evolution over time.

Numerous studies have assessed the food culture and the Mediterranean lifestyle as one of the most complete models and healthy diet.

Mediterranean diet food
Photo of main food components in the Mediterranean diet

Origin of the Mediterranean diet

The mild climate of the Mediterranean region has allowed not only agriculture, but it has also set an openness and sense of harmony with nature, prized since ancient Greece.

It is a historical heritage that, as a result, offers a wide range of foods.

Because the dietary value, nutritional and cultural power of this plan, UNESCO has named it Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity.

*More information: History of the Mediterranean diet.

Components of Mediterranean diet

Broadly speaking, the Mediterranean diet is characterized by:

- Prevalence of plant foods, rich in vegetables and fruits.

- Wheat, bread and cereals as the main energy source.

- Consumption of olive oil.

- Fish and seafood as their primary source of animal protein.

Nutrition and Mediterranean diet

*More information: Food in the Mediterranean diet

Curative properties of Mediterranean diet

- Cardiovascular Health: Mediterranean diet helps to improve blood pressure, prevents the formation of atherosclerosis, reduces thrombus formation, reduces bad cholesterol and increases good cholesterol in the blood (more).

- Protects against respiratory diseases: the Mediterranean diet is being studied as a protective factor against lung infections, respiratory allergies, rhinitis and asthma.

- Prevents Alzheimer's and degenerative diseases: the Mediterranean diet helps improve cognitive functions of the brain and prevent the onset of multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease, senile dementia and Alzheimer. It has also been shown that this diet improves memory and life expectancy of the population. (More)

- Prevents certain types of cancer: the Mediterranean diet is a protective factor against stomach cancer, breast and colon.

* Learn more about all the benefits of the Mediterranean diet in the listing above.

Mediterranean diet nowadays

Bread has been for centuries and millennia at the base of the Mediterranean culture.

However, from the period 1965 - 1987, bread consumption decreases in the population, a diet higher in presence of dairy, meat and its derivatives, while the consumption of other traditional products such as legumes and tubers also diminished.

Do not forget that bread is an energy food, nutritious, easy to digest and does not produce waste in the body.

This food and grains, are the cornerstone for good health and growth, which has allowed the survival of peoples for millennia.

The welfare society, that is living in the most economically advanced societies, has seen how traditional food consumption has shifted to industrial food, quick cooking and eating fast. Often, moreover, these foods are not very nutritious.

Mediterranean diet nowadays
Announcement of a "Mediterranean menu" in a restaurant. Fast-food damages the food culture

To the detriment of bread, dietary fats have significantly increased their presence in the diet, through the excess of oil and fried, cooked, baked goods and food industries.

The animal fat in the diet has increased, which has led to increased cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

The sedentary lifestyle, poor diet and stress of big cities leads to dietary related diseases and malnutrition (by eating a lot, but unbalanced).

A poor diet can cause diseases in the future

Indeed, the loss of healthy eating habits supposes some deficits of minerals and nutrients, such as zinc, calcium, magnesium and essential fatty acids, which can cause long-term illnesses such as infertility, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia or dementia respectively.

punto rojo More information about Mediterranean diet in the listing above.

Other interesting articles

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Höganäs opens permanent office in Jakarta

Margaretha Kho is since August 1st Sales and Customer Manager at Höganäs and has her base in Jakarta. Margaretha, who is a chemical engineer by training, has previously worked for other European industrial companies in the region.

"We have to be in Indonesia on a permanent basis. We need to be part of, and understand, the local culture and the business climate so that we can serve the market in the best way possible, says Ola Litström, Country Manager Taiwan and Southeast Asia.

"Höganäs is an exciting company, with a long history and a lot of experience”, says Margaretha. “Indonesia is an exciting country with many segments where Höganäs can help develop businesses through technical expertise. I am very much looking forward to being Höganäs' link to the local market."


Choosing to Make A Game Out Of Reading

Part of our responsibility as educators and librarians is to remind students that reading isn't just about sitting in a circle listening to each other read, or reading something that is required in order to write a book report or complete a worksheet. The goal is to show them that reading can be both a means to an end and a pleasure in itself.

Late in 2014, R.A. Montgomery - one of the primary publishers of the hugely popular Choose Your Own Adventure series - died, and an entire generation collectively felt nostalgic about his creation. In its lifetime, the series included over 230 different titles (with titles both mundane and imaginative, like Statue of Liberty Adventure, Terror on the Titanic, and my personal favorite, Your Code Name is Jonah) and sold over 250 million copies.

The series, originally published in the late 70s, got its own facelift in the mid-2000s. The industry was surprised when children of the new millennium didn't fall in love with the series, but a recent episode of the podcast Rendered, interviewed one of the series' authors, Edward Packard, and discussed what had changed since it was first introduced.

In short, 70s kids loved them because they viewed books and stories as static, unchanging, and inflexible, but Choose Your Own Adventure flipped that idea on its head entirely. You could decide which path the hero chose and if you didn't like the outcome, you could just flip back to the choice you made and make a different one.

That level of interaction with the content you consume is not foreign to today's children, though. Storybooks respond to your touch and characters in movies and television sometimes converse directly with the viewer, a la Dora the Explorer. Video games now feature branching storylines and character development that my 11-year-old self could only dream of.

Which brings me to the point of this post, and introduces a series of blog posts that will be added here in the coming days: interactive fiction. Imagine a Choose Your Own Adventure book where the choices aren't listed, and you must decide for yourself how to proceed.

If there's a window in the room, you might look outside it (and view the author's description of the world outside) or open it (and find that it's locked by a key hidden somewhere in the cushions of a nearby sofa). The story and all possible combinations of outcomes is already written for the reader, but they have to discover it for themselves.

All of this is accomplished with a computer, some simple software which now can live entirely within your Internet browser, and imagination, of course.

The most famous example is Zork; and if you've ever heard someone reference a "grue", they're probably talking about this game and its signature villain. Over 7000 pieces of interactive fiction have since been created and can be found online at The Interactive Fiction Database. In my next post, I'll be highlighting some of my personal favorites, some award-winners, and some that I think have some exciting applications in the classroom.


Harris: People deserve a second chance

HARRISBURG, June 10 – Joined by state Reps. Patty Kim, D-Dauphin, and Cris Dush, R-Jefferson/Indiana, along with Pennsylvania District Attorney’s Association members, state Rep. Jordan Harris, D-Phila., called for support for bipartisan legislation to permit expungement of specific offenses from a person’s criminal record provided certain criteria are met.

“Far too often, I’m hearing about constituents who made a mistake when they were younger and have been paying the price ever since for their conviction,” Harris said. “This legislation would give people who meet the criteria an opportunity to move past their transgressions and not be held out of potential job opportunities to better their life.”

Kim said, "We need to make record expungement more accessible because if we don't reform the current system, a completed sentence turns into an indefinite sentence. Non-violent offenders who have become law-abiding citizens deserve the chance to find gainful employment and housing."

Dush added, “Everyone makes mistakes in their lives. When I was growing up, families were more intact. Police often would bring a youth who had made a misdemeanor mistake back to the parents and the father would be certain to take care of it without getting the courts involved.

“The unfortunate reality today is that we’ve devalued the family and, as a result, there is not often the kind of accountability in the home the police and courts could rely on to correct youthful indiscretion. As a result, our sentencing laws and the officer discretion have been curtailed and offenses that used to be taken care of in the ‘home court’ are now taken care of in the court of common pleas.”

Also attending were Montgomery County District Attorney Risa Ferman and Berks County District Attorney John Adams, both of the Pennsylvania District Attorney’s Association, which supports the legislation.

"Part of our job as prosecutors is to prevent crime from happening in the first place,” said Ferman, association vice president. “Former offenders with jobs are less likely to become repeat offenders than former offenders without jobs. At the same time, the legislation strikes an important balance by also taking into consideration the need for law enforcement to have appropriate access to these records, should the ex-offender re-offend."

Adams said, “In the criminal justice system, our concern is that people learn from their mistakes. Through this bill, we are giving people an incentive to do the right thing. This will help people who have changed their lives move on from past mistakes.”

Reiterating that point, Dush said, “The young offenders who learn their lesson and have corrected the course of their lives do not today have the benefit of the grace given by society in the past. This bill restores that sense of grace and a second chance in life to those who demonstrate through years of good citizenship they are worthy of it.”

The bill would allow a person convicted of a misdemeanor of the third degree or a misdemeanor of the second degree, if at least seven or 10 years have passed, respectively, since they completed their sentence, to request the opportunity to appear before a judge and request an order for limited access of their criminal record. Criminal justice and government agencies would not be subject to the order for limited access, and they would still be able to see a person’s entire criminal record information.

All violent offenses punishable by imprisonment of more than two years, and many others of a serious nature, would be prohibited from being subject to an order for limited access under the bill.


Why Brisbane

At Atira, you’ll find the best of Brisbane right outside your doorstep. We offer convenience, comfort and style with our various student accommodation in Brisbane, conveniently located close to universities, public transport, shopping centres, cafes, restaurants, and Brisbane’s major universities and educational providers.

Brisbane has invested a lot in recent years to make it one of the most ideal places to live on the planet. Rough Guides recent survey placed Brisbane at No. 8 most beautiful city in the world. It’s a cultural hub with an array of food choices, art, shopping and entertainment options for everyone to enjoy.

The city is also just an hour’s drive to Gold Coast and the Sunshine Coast, both famed for their stunning beaches and vibrant atmosphere. And for a quick escape from the busy city life, Mount Coot-tha Lookout is just moments. Here you’ll find leafy walking and hiking trails where you’ll be rewarded with panoramic views of Brisbane’s city skyline.


Changing Careers: Empowering Women, Poor for Self-sufficiency

Empowering Women at COPE Presentation

Changing Careers: Empowering Women at COPE Presentation

Never thought of being an engineer?

Rope Made With Braided Chip Bags

Tina Cornely, Bridging Humanity: Lodeo & Tina

Lodeo & Tina

Twitter: @TinaCornely

Facebook: BridgingHumanity

Empowering Women: Asking Tough Questions

Empowering Women for Career Success

Empowering Women for Career Success

Even the best intentions sometimes fall short. This is often the case when it comes to empowering women. There are plenty of programs out there focused on empowering women that unwittingly play against their own missions.  Just recently, one of my clients brought into her company a three-day training program where participants where repeatedly told in no uncertain terms that they needed to wear jackets to project executive presence. There was no room left for individual self-expression, nor any in-depth discussion of what executive presence really means and the various ways in which it is projected. No, during this particular program, participants were strongly encouraged to adapt to the reigning style of the corporation set in place and upheld by the executive-majority – middle-aged white males — if they hoped to grow beyond middle management.

How are you empowering women in your organization?

Undoubtedly, that’s the antithesis of empowering women. It’s common knowledge that you take people’s power away when you ask them to check their style and personality at the door and adopt someone else’s style – be that the dress code, the way they express themselves, the way they think, or the way they relate to others.  Equally important as allowing women to bring their style and personality to work is providing an environment where women feel comfortable asking tough questions. Yet, when women are asked to leave their uniqueness at home, it’s unlikely that they’ll feel comfortable asking colleagues questions that can help them understand unspoken rules that can open doors to better opportunities.

There’s has to be a clear connection between your words and specific actions or the culture of your organization is unlikely to change and promoting women to higher positions becomes harder.

Questions that relate to the salary range others are making for similar positions, what packages their male counterparts have received to move for a long-term assignment, how to break into a certain powerful clique within the company, and so on. Questions that you don’t ask when you don’t feel empowered.

So you could be talking about empowering women from here until 2050, but unless there’s a clear connection between your words and specific actions, the culture of your organization is unlikely to change and years from now you’ll still be wondering why is it so hard to promote more women to higher positions.

Empowering Women with Actions

Here are a few things you can start looking into right away, if your goal is to prepare more women for career success.

    • Understand your internal hiring and promotion processes. How do you define executive presence? What are the unwritten expectations of someone with executive presence? Can that definition be expanded to include more women? Do your executive positions all involve a lifestyle few women can adjust to? Are there any areas of flexibility? Do you pass over women for promotions assuming they won’t be up to a job that demands travel?
    • Evaluate openness to employee input. How open is your organization’s management to listening and implementing ideas from women at lower levels? How do you reward those ideas?

  • Create circles of trust. Do you offer opportunities for your employees to meet in smaller groups and discuss honestly critical career issues? Are they structured in a way that elicits mutual trust?
  • Review your unwritten dress code. Are you upholding codes initially established by and for men in the workplace? How can they be adjusted to embrace different styles for women?

If empowering women is a top priority for you, you may find yourself analyzing the core culture of your company to identify areas that need small tweaks and others that require a complete make over. Start somewhere, anywhere. Any step, even a small one, is a step in the right direction.


Saturday, 16 November 2013

Trusted Event Planning Tips For Your Business

Melanie Woodward, founder and event planner, created Event Planning Blueprint as a result of her own experience starting events with little experience. Since 2004, when she started her event planning business, she has planned events around the world, worked with celebrities and sports professionals, planned multi-million dollar events, and has helped event planners with no experience start planning their own events.

Melanie now creates event planning videos and approached me some weeks ago to be interviewed. The results of that taped interview can be seen in the video below.

Melanie covers a wide variety of topics in special event planning. Check her out at

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Does Terrorism Threaten Hallmark Events?

All of us in the event business have become acutely aware of the importance of risk management over the last twelve years. The Boston Marathon bombings have just raised that awareness to a new level.

Whether it was political terrorism, whether it was a disgruntled runner who did not qualify, whether it was home-grown, or whether it was externally-grown does not matter. What matters is that it happened at a public special event. That event was what we might call a "hallmark" event. It and its larger cousins, "mega" events, often attract large numbers of participants and spectators from a host nation and from other nations. These types of events can bring in a lot of money to the host city. They can also become prime targets at which those with a cause can make a public statement. What will happen to such events from now on?

First, as with 9/11, the requirement for even more thorough risk assessment and management will increase. Invariably, this will mean increased policing, more barriers and screenings for spectators and participants, more detailed accreditation, more delays for traffic and transportation, higher fees for all involved, etc, etc. This begs the question, "When does the cost of this increased protection become too high?" It's a hard question to answer, because it means that event organizers have to balance their decision on whether to continue hosting such events based on their perceived return on investment on the one hand with the negative publicity of "giving up" and "letting the bad guys win" on the other.

Let's look at this decision, though, taking Boston as the example. No doubt the Boston Convention and Visitors Bureau has statistics on hand which indicate the value of the marathon in bringing tourist dollars (external dollars) into the city. Unlike the Olympics, it is my guess that the marathon does not cause many visiting runners or spectators to re-visit Boston at a later time. Nor does it cause large numbers of tourists from around the world to flock to Boston because they have seen it on TV or seen accompanying tourist ads. Unlike the larger Olympics, I am guessing that Boston does not see increased tourism or convention traffic because of the marathon. The only money they see comes from participants and their entourages. In other words, it is a one-time event each year.

Thus, with the increased security they will have to pay for next year, will there be any ROI? If not, and if those expenses are now deemed too high, what happens to the various charities that benefit from the runners' participation? Even more importantly, will runners around the world and Americans in general, be more inclined to force the marathon to continue rather then admitting defeat to the "bad guys?" Why is it necessarily wrong to admit this? If it is, how much risk can they live with and what are the chances that "lightning might strike twice?" Who would be crazy enough to try to bomb the marathon a second time? The answer is all part of the risk assessment.

We have to keep in mind that the total elimination of all risk is still an impossibility.

Monday, 18 February 2013

The Performing Mindset

Back in December, I started talking about performers and the reasons why they do what they do. In this post I want to discuss the performer's mindset.

Mindset – frame of mind – zone – headspace. These terms describe a utopian psychological state inhabited by performers, elite athletes, motivational speakers, and anyone who must be at their absolute peak of ability performing before a live audience. It is a place where their body, mind, and spirit meet in harmony in readiness for the task at hand. Only those who visit can understand how necessary it is to find it in order to give a successful performance.

Different performers have different ways of achieving this state. Some pace, some pray, some joke, some drink coffee, some intently review scripts, some practice, some stretch or do exercises, some just talk, but everyone does it, either consciously or sub-consciously. Indeed, some performers have onstage personalities completely different from their offstage personalities and people are often astonished by this. Really, it is only their inhabitation of a performing mindset that is happening. If the two personalities are extremely different, then performers may need some extra time to get into that performing mindset.

Anthropologist Victor Turner understood what is happening. Any performance, as he noted, involves “frame, flow, and reflection”. By “frame” he was referring to “that often invisible boundary... around activity which defines participants, their roles, the ‘sense’ or ‘meaning’ ascribed to those things included within the boundary, and the elements within the environment of the activity,” in other words, for our purposes, an event entertainment show. Performers recognize that the show (or “frame” according to Turner), is a distinct activity outside the norm of everyday life, and can be treated as such, so that they are free to be who they want or need to be. They can only get to this state by being given time to be on their own away from distractions.

What does this mean for event producers? It means that performers, no matter who they are, must be given quiet time before their performance, on their own, to find the right frame of mind. Therefore, it behooves the producer to provide such an environment. I consider this to be one of the most important aspects of working with performers.

  • Turner, Victor. (1988). The Anthropology of Performance. New York: PAJ Publications. pp54-55.

Sunday, 3 February 2013

My Latest Book Finally Launched

After a couple of years of writing and editing, my latest book has finally launched. It's a compilation of stories and anecdotes that took place during my nineteen years as an entertainment agent and special event producer.

No doubt everybody has similar stories if you are in this business. The problem is, would you tell them to your clients while you are still working? I no longer have to worry about gaining clients so here they are, all the embarrassing moments that nobody knew about until now.  This is what it's all about:

Uncontrollable laughter. Overwhelming tears. Thunderous applause. These are what every performer strives to educe from an audience. In my job as the person responsible for planning private corporate entertainment shows and putting the right performers onstage at the right time, it was also my goal and a measure of my success. Unfortunately, something happened along the way.

Jungle animals on the loose, bar fights, pyrotechnics gone awry, technical glitches, unusual brushes with the famous, a sweltering outdoor show for UN troops in war-torn Cambodia, and clients who committed deadly sins – these are but a small sampling of the stories that await within Stumbling Toward Applause: Misadventures in Entertainment.

This inspiring book is a selection of stories and anecdotes from the early 1980s to 2004, when the special events industry was in its infancy. While there are many entertainment memoirs on the market, this is the first book of real-life experiences within this particular industry. With the consequences of human frailty as the overarching theme, it takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster ride, from hilarious live, onstage mishaps to the poignancy of an actor’s death. Under the surface, though, lurk nuggets of wisdom and lessons about life, business, and relationships.

Check out a preview, or buy the book on Amazon.

I hope you enjoy this lighthearted read.


Kashi Chocolatey Almond Smoothie Bowl

We like to mix it up with lots of different Fair Trade fruits, such as raspberries, blueberries, and maybe some coconut flakes.

A great way to start the day right and get the energy you need in a healthy way.

Kashi Chocolatey Almond Smoothie Bowl

Preparation Instructions

  • Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.
  • Transfer mixture to a bowl and add toppings you love, like blueberries, banana, granola, and shredded coconut, and enjoy!


Why are we a National Park?

No two National Parks are the same and the Government looks to individual National Park Authorities to identify the special qualities of their area

Over 1500 people told us what they thought was most special about the South Downs and although it was hard to narrow it down with so much on offer, the following seven Special Qualities were agreed by the South Downs National Park Authority in 2011:

  1. Diverse, inspirational landscapes and breathtaking views;
  2. A rich variety of wildlife and habitats including rare and internationally important species;
  3. Tranquil and unspoilt places;
  4. An environment shaped by centuries of farming and embracing new enterprise;
  5. Great opportunities for recreational activities and learning experiences;
  6. Well-conserved historical features and a rich cultural heritage;
  7. Distinctive towns and villages, and communities with real pride in their area.

To download the full Special Qualities please use the link below and if you haven’t already been, come and be inspired by the beautiful South Downs.

Special Qualities of the South Downs National Park


The Australian National Maritime Museum at Darling Harbour in Sydney has recently opened a new building, a pavilion on the finger wharf that provides both a visitor center and access to the naval Destroyer-class vessel and the Submarine housed at the site. Designed by fjmt studio, the building was inspired by the wave-like movement of the water beneath the wharf. Clad almost entirely in Kingspan panels, the building expresses unique shapes and movement from its innovative exterior treatment. The story behind the building coming soon.


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January 5th , 2017

8 Stages of Change: Connected Partnership

You are a connected employee according to the 8 stages of change. As a connected employee, you feel positive and activated on the job, and in this category you have what is referred to as a "Connected Partnership" with your employer. Nationwide, you fall into about 30% of employees that actually like their job. Employers recognize the value of your attitude towards work, and as such, will be motivated to retain you!

Evidence of a connected partnership is when you feel positive about the company, and you willingly contribute in order to have a positive impact within the organization. You do feel valued by the company; however, you've recognized that you aren't as engaged as you could be.

Everyone has an off day here or there, which doesn't necessarily change your category. However, it's important to pay attention to the fact that you aren't as engaged as you could be. If caught and addressed early, you can choose to move yourself back into the category of engaged partnership, which is an extremely productive and satisfied level. The onus lies on you to make a change, before your boss notices that you are starting to become content.

First, remind yourself how rewarding it is to be recognized for doing great work. Build on new ideas in order to take your creativity to the next level. Talk to your employer to make sure that you have a mutual understanding of job performance, and ensure that you both define your relationship as a connected partnership.


The book is now available! 560
(just those submitted by Brown)
Prime Curios!
Curios: Curios Search:

Just showing those entries submitted by 'Brown': (Click here to show all)

+ A positive integer N is a Rhonda Number if for some positive integer B the product of the base-B digits of N equals B times the sum of the prime factors of N. The smallest example is 560, which is a Rhonda Number to the base twelve. [Brown]

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Art In America

Guillermo Kuitca

at Sperone Westwater,
257 Bowery

Who says painting's dead? Guillermo Kuitca proves time and again that there's much more to be explored with the medium. In recent years, he has developed a style of painting that recalls Analytical Cubism. He doesn't so much resurrect the genre as reinvent it in "This Way," a show that features a tour de force: an untitled room-size installation contained within the first-floor gallery. The Argentine artist painted murals on all four walls of the room's interior. Unadorned and innocuous from the outside, the installation offers an immersive experience of painting. Why didn't the Cubists think of this?

More from the Lookout

at the Isamu Noguchi Museum,
through Jan. 7
9-01 33rd Road, Long Island City


[PC-USA] 1998-01-18 - Pride

Pride is a pretty popular American trait these days. But God's word doesn't have the same opinion of it, as the world. This is not to be confused with a healthy self-esteem - as someone has said "God don't make no junk," and in fact, I believe that to underestimate our God-given abilities and our value are both dishonest and dishonoring to our Creator, who loved us so much He sent His son to die for us. Here is some of what the Bible has to say regarding pride.

(Prov 13:10 NKJV) "By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.


SBI PO 2017 - Interview/GE Experience - Himu

Hello and welcome to exampundit. Here is an interview experience of SBI PO 2017 shared by Himu from Kolkata, West Bengal.

My sbi interview and group exercise was on 13th Sept, 2017 in Kolkata.

GD topic : "Indian villages : Strength or weakness "

All members were well learned and spoke fluently on the topic. The panel though did not comment anything, looked pleased apparently..

A notepad and a pen were provided to us to jot down our points and a 5 minutes time was given for that.

GE topic :  how will you ascribe the following in terms of " Change"  ( in terms of workplace, environment, new place etc etc..)

                 a) Attitude
                 b) Adaptibility
                 c) Risk taking ability
                 d) Optimism
                  etc, etc

We as a group could come to consensus on 3 points.

Both GD and GE were conducted proficiently. All spoke well and were given equal chances. There wasn't any fish market type situation.

Interview :              (P.S - My postgraduation subject was financial economics )

a) Why did you go on to do M.A from BSc ?

b) There is much govt intervention in banking. Do u think its necessary?

c) Nobel prize winner in economics and name of theory?

d) Why I chose to complete my masters from outside west bengal?

e) A current affairs question on SBI Life Insurance

f) What do you know about SBI merger?

g)What is fiscal deficit?

h) How can fiscal deficit be contained?

i) Credit risk management practices in SBI ( since i had done an internship in SBI in credit risk management)

j) Why did I choose to take up Credit risk management as my internship topic?

k) NPA effects on profitability of banks?

l) What is IPO?

m) What is market capitalization?

Overall both GE and Interview went well. Answered some questions well and in some could have done better.. Hoping for the best :)

Team ExamPundit