On the other hand, I felt that to allow myself to enjoy their company would have been to imply that my life had a degree of normalcy, which it did not.
Teisest küljest mõtlesin, et kui luban endale nendega seltsimisest rõõmu tunda, näitab see, et mu elu on taas rööbastel, aga nii see tegelikult ju polnud.