Datasets:
Tasks:
Text Classification
Sub-tasks:
sentiment-classification
Languages:
English
Size:
100K<n<1M
DOI:
License:
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The dataset generation failed
Error code: DatasetGenerationError
Exception: TypeError
Message: Couldn't cast array of type
list<item: struct<title: string, review: string, rating: string>>
to
{'rating': Value('string'), 'review': Value('string'), 'title': Value('string')}
Traceback: Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1831, in _prepare_split_single
writer.write_table(table)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/arrow_writer.py", line 644, in write_table
pa_table = table_cast(pa_table, self._schema)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2272, in table_cast
return cast_table_to_schema(table, schema)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2223, in cast_table_to_schema
arrays = [
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2224, in <listcomp>
cast_array_to_feature(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 1795, in wrapper
return pa.chunked_array([func(chunk, *args, **kwargs) for chunk in array.chunks])
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 1795, in <listcomp>
return pa.chunked_array([func(chunk, *args, **kwargs) for chunk in array.chunks])
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2092, in cast_array_to_feature
raise TypeError(f"Couldn't cast array of type\n{_short_str(array.type)}\nto\n{_short_str(feature)}")
TypeError: Couldn't cast array of type
list<item: struct<title: string, review: string, rating: string>>
to
{'rating': Value('string'), 'review': Value('string'), 'title': Value('string')}
The above exception was the direct cause of the following exception:
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/src/services/worker/src/worker/job_runners/config/parquet_and_info.py", line 1456, in compute_config_parquet_and_info_response
parquet_operations = convert_to_parquet(builder)
File "/src/services/worker/src/worker/job_runners/config/parquet_and_info.py", line 1055, in convert_to_parquet
builder.download_and_prepare(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 894, in download_and_prepare
self._download_and_prepare(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 970, in _download_and_prepare
self._prepare_split(split_generator, **prepare_split_kwargs)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1702, in _prepare_split
for job_id, done, content in self._prepare_split_single(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1858, in _prepare_split_single
raise DatasetGenerationError("An error occurred while generating the dataset") from e
datasets.exceptions.DatasetGenerationError: An error occurred while generating the datasetNeed help to make the dataset viewer work? Make sure to review how to configure the dataset viewer, and open a discussion for direct support.
movie_id
string | reviews
dict |
|---|---|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "4",
"review": "This is certainly a consensus pick as one of the worst (if not the worst) movies ever made - and for that very reason I've always wanted to watch it. Now I have, and my suggestion to everyone is - lighten up. Yes, it's bad. The sets are dreadful - worse than you used to see on Saturday morning kids' shows. The special effects are weak - although to be honest I've seen worse portrayals of space flight. And the costumes are hilarious - especially the polar bear and the robot. But come on - you have to admit that there's a certain \"cuteness\" to the story of Martians coming to earth to kidnap Santa Claus so that he can bring happiness to their children. All the characters are pretty one- dimensional. There's good guys and bad guys and fun guys and kids from both Earth and Mars. No one gets particularly well developed. And then, of course, there's Santa. In all honesty, I thought John Call did a decent job as the jolly old man. In this age of high tech special effects and big budget movies there's no doubt that this looks pretty weak - and even by the standards of 1964 it was still pretty weak. But it's good fun, and for the fun alone I don't think it deserves its reputation as one of the worst movies ever. What's left to say, except - \"Hurray for Santy Claus!\" 4/10",
"title": "People Need To Lighten Up About This Movie"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "4",
"review": "I still very much appreciate its spirit, both in terms of no-budget filmmaking and sense of fun. I wish that the films of today could have even a fraction of its good-natured mischievous approach. Certainly film studios could learn a thing or two, in this ridiculous era of quarter-of-a-billion-dollar blockbusters. I for one don't need the equivalent of 'having my eyes masturbated', as one cinema critic so lovingly stated.I would prefer watching this in a second over any of the ham-fisted, cash-soaked holiday atrocities made in the past three decades (I believe 'A Christmas Story', and perhaps 'Elf' and 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' to be the last decently-made Yuletide films).But don't take MY word for it...see it for yourself (without the stupid and condescending MST3K commentary) and make your OWN conclusion.",
"title": "Not NEARLY as bad as people make it out to be...AND a lot more fun than it has any right to be!"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "4",
"review": "Maybe I have a soft spot somewhere in my heart for poorly written, badly conceived, silly 1960s children's movies - but I really can't understand why Santa Claus versus the Martians is in the worst 100 movies of all time here on IMDb. Sure, most viewers will breathe a sigh of relief when it ends, but this film really seems downright harmless compared to the six month old Kennel Ration Hollywood has been feeding us as commercial film for the last ten or so years. Hey, at least it's not a remake, a sequel, or a 2 hour long CGI cartoon with a few human faces tossed in for effect.Santa Claus gets kidnapped by distraught martians (white guys with bad green makeup and a few dishwasher parts glued to their heads, as well as inexplicable capes), who want to rescue their depressive, antisocial children from the doldrums by giving them all toys and a big red-suited guy with a beard to laugh at... err... with. Santa adapts to life on Mars very well and starts cranking out the toys with the help of Martian machines, but political controversies surrounding his activities soon threaten the fabric of Martian Society.I'm not kidding.... really.... this is the plot.Aside from the ludicrous plot and mediocre acting (Bill McCutcheon gives the only really enjoyable performance in this film, though Pia Zadora and Vincent Beck are not too bad), this is no worse than many of the kid films of its time. In the age of ADD and general impatience, however, this film is more than a little dated. The only modern kid I can imagine enjoying this film is one with an extraordinarily great attention span and a penchant for B-films. In terms of production, this film has the feel of a 2 hour, 1960s low budget TV show, and is almost as clever.I would recommend avoiding this film unless you're compelled to watch films which go to extremes. I found it cute, funny, and more than a tad ridiculous. To most people, it's a film version of your great Aunt's wallpaper - it's just there on the TV, while far more interesting things are happening in the carpet below your feet.",
"title": "Can something this dumb really be harmless?"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "5",
"review": "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a low budget kid's movie from the early 60's. It has a reputation as one of the worst movies ever made. But, similar to most such famously trashed films, it actually turns out to be nowhere near the worst of the worst. More accurately, this could be described as an enjoyable slice of cheese. Sure, its rubbish on several levels but it also happens to be memorable on several other levels.The story, such as it is, has the Martians kidnapping Santa Claus and, in the process, abducting two Earth children as well. You see, the Martians want to enjoy Christmas as well. With a plot-line as moronic as that, there's really no point in splitting hairs over details and instead just sit back and watch what unfolds. The sets, costumes and make-up are all bargain-basement but they all work well enough within the confines of the plastic coated world that they exist in. Some of the highlights of the film as a whole include an angry Martian and friendly but stupid Martian, an impressively unconvincing and fake polar bear, a comedy punch up and last, yet surely best of all, a truly infectious theme song about Santy Claus. In the final analysis, there's enough strangeness here to qualify this as a bona fide cult item. It's poor, yet simultaneously quite good. Come on now; let's hear it for Santy Claus!",
"title": "Ludicrous, yet charming, Christmas-based nonsense"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "5",
"review": "I badly want to give this film a 3/10, because it is by today's standards, abysmal. However, you have to try and take this film for what it is, made way back in 1964, the world was a very different place, the height of the cold war.It is a Christmas film, and it's of course intended for adults, so you probably would have had to have been there, it's sweet, and from a kid's perspective probably did have some degree of charm.The music is shocking, and the acting.... I'll leave that for you. At least they opted not to make Santa a Kung Fu Master, it's all meant to be heart warming.Could I sit through it again? Absolutely not, but one of the worst movies of all time? I've seen worse.",
"title": "Harmless Christmas fun."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "[No Rating]",
"review": "I really enjoy this silly little holiday flick. A bunch of serious Martian adults are afraid that their serious Martian children are too serious, so they go to a serious Martian senior citizen. The old guy tells them that the children need to be taught how to laugh, and then he explodes for no reason. The only logical thing left to do, of course, is go to Earth and kidnap Santa Claus, who we meet as he is being interviewed by the Rip Taylor-like Andy Anderson. I liked how in the movie's universe, Santa is unquestionably real and everyone knows about him. He really does deliver toys to everyone, toys made by a dozen elves (who all look like they're suffering from mini-seasonal depression). One toy shown is a toy rocket that runs on \"real rocket fuel\", Santa proudly explains. I would ask, \"Where do little kids get rocket fuel?\" The details of Santa's amazingly speedy mass distribution methods are not brought up, but it's probably black magic-related.The Martians nab Kris Kringle and two little Earth children, who seem to live alone in the woods with no parents or family but are clean and well fed. The Martian leader forces Santa and the children to run their soulless toy machine (Soulless Toy Machine would be a good name for a band). Despite the numerous violations of human rights, it's all in good fun and everybody is nice and happy, except for one mean Martian (with a disturbing droopy mustache and a sidekick that looks like Jamie Farr) who plots to kidnap Santa (even though he's already been kidnapped). Santa encourages the kids, even the Martian kids who have now learned to have fun, to hurl lots of heavy mid-sixties toys at the bad guy's skulls. Through this display of parental negligence and bad music the evil is thwarted, and Santa is permitted to go back to Earth, letting the mewling half-wit comic relief Martian named Droppo take over the reigns of the Martian Toy Empire. (The Martians are out-of-shape guys in tights and helmets with antenna sprouting out of them, and what looks like diarrhea smeared across their faces. Imagine a guy dressed like that mugging worse than the teacher guy in Juan Piquor Simon's \"Monster Island\" and that's Droppo).How can you hate this movie? If I were a little kid in 1964 I'd be enthralled. They packed this movie with nutty stuff. Elves get shot with freeze rays. Mrs. Claus is a frantic goofball. The Martian children sleep under strange lights and eat only pills. The bad guy's hideout looks like that one King Crimson album cover. I loved the part where the villain tries to shoot Santa and the kids out of an airlock, and the part where the bad guys meddle with the toy machine and the toys come out all mixed-up. There's a guy in a goofy robot costume, and a guy in an even goofier polar bear costume. And that deliciously idiotic theme song- \"You spell it S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S, Hooray for Santy Claus!\" Oh, it's so good!I sincerely feel the people making this had the best intentions, and while they didn't have a huge budget they made a fun, silly kids movie. If it was the same exact movie but done in Rudolf-style stop motion animation it would be a regular holiday viewing tradition.Oh, yeah, and Pia Zadora is in this, as if anyone cares.",
"title": "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians... and our hearts."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "2",
"review": "Since plan nine failed, the Martians are at it again. Martian children have become obsessed with American TV, and apparently in possession of really good TV rabbit ears), so their fathers decide to grab earthling children and later Santa Claus for themselves. The children of earth discover the plot to kidnap Santa and decide to stop them.The Martians here, wearing very tight, revealing clothing, look exactly like humans except they have green tinted skin (making me believe that the Wicked Witch of the West must have been a Martian) and felt skulls with antennas, some with moustaches and some able to laugh. There's even one who could have been the Mickey Rooney from Mars. One of the Martian children is the young Pia Zadora who would go on to become the greatest film star of the 1980's. The art direction is actually pretty interesting, but it looks closer to a 60's TV science fiction show (like \"Lost in Space\") than the serious sci-fi films of the time. Get a loaf of the fake polar bear in the north pole sequence and a giant robot that is truly laughable.What makes this film really bad is the idiotic dialogue and the acting which really seems like the actors (if you can call them that) memorize the script that morning and never rehearsed before the cameras rolled. The Martians also use guns that look like they are shooting nerf balls. At least there's that zippy \"Hooray For Santa Claus!\" song for audiences to sing as they left the theater. This really seems to have been made the intentions of being cheesy, and I'm on that level, it's succeeds.",
"title": "There should have been a sanity claus."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "4",
"review": "This is one of those really dorky movies - extremely geeky! Yet it's fun, cute and a bit sweet... a little bit on the freakishly cool side too. It's one of the oddest movies ever made. It's very much kid friendly so if you have youngsters and are looking for a different kind of holiday film then you might want to try this movie. It's not great at all but it is one of those \"so bad it's good\" type of holiday family films.I acquired a copy of this movie through the Sci-Fi Classics 50-Films Pack put out by Mill Creek. I'm very glad they added this one - it's a refreshing change. I've just finished re-watching this film and I'm reviewing it just about 2 1/2 weeks before Christmas. It was great timing for me to get this film pack and I had no idea this movie was in the batch of films until I received it.4/10.",
"title": "A Very Cute Christmas Movie!"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "1",
"review": "(r#30)Basically everything is wrong about this film, and that's what makes it so great. It's hysterical, but even as you're laughing yourself breathless you can't help but feel bad inside that you're actually chewing down this rotten junk food. Because that's what Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is: a case of food poisoning. There are layers and layers of awfulness in this movie, and it really is an unforgettable experience. The actors are all stoned out of their minds and extremely ugly. The title pretty much explains the plot, although there's not really a lot of \"conquering\". Maybe a better title would have been \"Santa Claus Laughs at Inappropriate Times while Hanging Out with Bad Actors in Silly Outfits\"? Just saying. I know it isn't as catchy, but at least it's not deceiving.It would be impossible to sum up all the stuff that sucks about this film, so I'll break it down into what I remember most strongly: a man in an ingeniously fake-looking polar bear costume (funnier than the \"bear\" from Hercules in New York); an extra with the most unnatural laugh you're ever likely to hear; an ex-dope addict martian with tics; kid actors who make sure every syllable of their lines are slowly and caaarreee-fulll-yyy prrooo-noun-ceeed; a newspaper headline stating that Santa's been \"kidnaped\", and a giant robot. Yes, you read that right. A giant robot.The worst acting job in here must be when Mother Claus and her elves have been \"frozen\" by the \"Martians'\" weapons. Could they be *more* trembling? I know this was the sixties and everyone was doped up, but still.This wins the Dung Beetle Award of the year. Destined to become a Christmas classic for me!",
"title": "The best worst awful awesome movie ever!"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "1",
"review": "This is truly the worst movie I have ever seen, but it really goes beyond that. Something this stunningly terrible simply had to be done on purpose. Every joke, every \"special effect\" every background, every costume is done without any kind of thought as to not looking like it was done in under fifty seconds. This film brings artistry to sub-mediocrity. Something so basely horrible defies the physics of cinematography. I could not make a worse movie if I spent absolutely no time at all making it. Someone really, really tried to make this piece of gold stink like a thousand dead scatologists. If you have a dollar on you the next time you pass by your local dollar store, do yourself a favor and revel in the worst thing you can imagine.",
"title": "Absolute Genius!!!"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "4",
"review": "This has been ridiculed on \"The Canned Film Festival\", \"Mystery Science Theater 3000\" and \"Cinematic Titanic\": the only three to be mocked on all three bad-film programmes. Everything about it is so tacky that you can't help but laugh: a Santa Claus with a pipe who says \"No Sirreee\", a melodramatic Martian ruler, a polar bear that would be unconvincing in a pantomine. Still, the fact it makes you laugh means that it's not that bad. It wouldn't been on all three of those programmes if there were not a lot of fun to be had from laughing at it. I'd rather own something like this than, say, Richard Harris's first film \"This Sporting Life\", which is so boring that there is no way of getting any enjoyment from watching it. This is a bad film with a bad plot and it does get boring in parts, but it'll cheer you up on a bad day.",
"title": "It's brought a lot of pleasure to people"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "10",
"review": "If the fabulously awful yet admirably enthusiastic director Ed Wood had ever made a kids' holiday flick, this would have been it.This movie is not bad, if by bad you mean boring and a waste of time. It's spectacularly appalling, the way \"Plan 9\" is. They obviously had a budget of about fifty bucks to make this, and it shows.But some of us love these evidences that once upon a time in America there was such a thing as real independent cinema, and all-afternoon multi-feature holiday shows at neighborhood theaters that only had one screen, and sing-along events built into kids' movies, and fun that didn't depend on multi-billion dollar special effects.This is one of those movies that you will laugh at and make fun of, yet long for the days when local, independent television stations aired it on a Saturday afternoon before Christmas. You'll make jokes about it, but catch yourself absentmindedly humming \"Hooray for Santy Claus!\" for the rest of your life. And you'll amaze your friends with -- \"I know what movie Pia Zadora made her debut in, and you don't!\"",
"title": "Paging Edward D. Wood"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "7",
"review": "Here it is, one of the best B-movie scifi films I have had the pleasure of seeing...the best Christmas movie next to Jack Frost (the one with the killer snowman). This is the best film I have paid a dollar for. I had wanted to see this and I had went to the dollar store and WHAMMO! There it was...Santa Claus Conquers The Martians on beautiful DVD. I got home, watched it, and laughed my butt off. This is a truly hilarious film. SEE A polar bear aka guy in a bear costume! SEE a humungous robot aka guy in a big costume! SEE aliens aka guys with green facepaint and green helmets on! SEE Santa Claus CONQUER THE MARTIANS! Quite possibly some of the worst special effects in film history, and one of the fuinniest plots in film history, it all adds up to fun! This movie has no boobies and gore, so it is appropriate for children too! Wow...what a remarkable film! SEE SANTA CLAUS CONQUER THE MARTIANS TODAY!!!!",
"title": "Brilliant film..."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "2",
"review": "I remember seeing this movie a long time ago, way back before they installed the cup holders on the theater seat arm rests. You know, the good old days. All I could remember was the bright lights and colors, the green Martians, Santa was in it, and that \"song\" (S-A-N-T-A, C-L-A-U-S....)The next time I saw it, I was a freshman in college and it was playing at the local pub's Bad Flick Night.Time was not kind.It's a kid's movie, provided the kid is mentally deficient, a hostile brat and/or has short-term attention disorder. Either way, this one will appeal to them.For the rest of us, there's the issues of Santa-kidnapping Martians in BRIGHT green makeup and helmets that resemble Yul Brynner's headgear in \"The Ten Commandments\"; other Martians that you either want to punch out (Dropo) or try and talk out of future acting opportunities (a young Pia Zadora-???); Santas that walk around saying \"Merry Christmas\", despite the fact that Christmas is not even close; pop guns that immobilize people; polar bears that have extremely long hind legs; and blah, and blah, and blah...But DOES Santa Claus actually conquer the Martians of the title, like it says? Yep, but he doesn't hit, punch, kick, bite, scratch, claw or anything. Sorry kids, green blood does not flow here. You see, Santa puts in a Martian North Pole workshop and wins over the Martians with peace and good will towards men...and Martians too, I guess. He even makes lazy good-for-nothing Dropo a Martian Santa. GOOD; anything that will keep that nutcase on his own planet....Two stars for SCCTM; one star for the Christmas spirit and another for the fact that it was half-price beer night when I went in that pub to see it again.Maybe they should do that for \"The Horse Whisperer\"....",
"title": "Do not open 'til Christmas...or any other time."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "[No Rating]",
"review": "This film is regarded as a \"turkey\" and one of those films that's \"so bad it's good.\" There are several things to consider when reviewing this film, but the most important considerations are the time it was made and the intended audience.Santa Claus Conquers The Martians was made in 1964. Anyone who was a child around 1964 can tell you it was a very innocent time compared to today. Kids genuinely believed in Santa Claus then. One must also consider a child's concept of Martians, robots, and space travel in 1964. The cheesy Martian makeup and the clunky robot may evoke laughter from a modern audience, but a child's toy collection in 1964 might have had a Marx tin robot toy that looked very much like the one featured in this film. In fact, Marx Toy Company created the toys used in this film.I was born in 1968, and I remember watching this movie on commercial television in the early 70s with my mother. Adult viewers see the story, set design, and effects as cheap and silly, but to a child in the 60s and 70s, this film was perfect Christmas viewing.It's important to remember that this film was intended for children, and more specifically, children from a specific time in history. Not all films are timeless, and this one can be regarded more as a time capsule, showing just how innocent kids were 50 years ago.The premise that Santa was real and had adventures beyond his annual duties was just fun for kids. I can't imagine this film having the bad reputation it has if it were done as one of the Rankin-Bass animated Christmas specials.A look at the cast also reveals that all of the adult actors were professionals from stage and other film productions. I found the line delivery and acting to be sincere, and it's obvious that the cast did this because they loved their children. If this were done as a stage production, the audience would laugh along with the silliness, but kids would be mesmerized. And that's another thing to consider: the movie's costumes and set design actually seem more suited to a stage play rather than a film.I'd say if you watch this film expecting some kind of sci-fi classic, you'll be disappointed. But if you look at it from a historical point of view, and consider that it's a play made with love for children who believed Santa Claus would visit them soon, you might see it in a different light.",
"title": "Not terrible if you think a bit"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "1",
"review": "The title pretty mush somes up what kind of movie we have here. That is cheesy, dumb, and wrong on so many levels. In other words, the perfect film for MST3K.I don't really need to how bad it is but there is only one msytery that eludes me. Who the hell thought that this might a good enough idea to put money to fund a film like this? I can only think of two reasons:1. Since it's a holiday film, they thought they could get away with it. 2. It was made in Canada.Still I love the MST version and can't think of a better film that could serve as their Chrismas special. Also I never noticed prior to watching this that Santa is smoking. An icon for children everywhere is smoking out of a pipe! Hilarious!",
"title": "A film you won't forget... ever."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "4",
"review": "\"Martian children are addicted to Earth's television shows featuring Santa Claus. This enrages their parents, who travel to Earth to kidnap Santa himself. On arrival, they kidnap two zealous children who lead them to 'Santa's Workshop' at the North Pole. They return to Mars with Santa and the children in tow, but are thwarted when he converts the Martian children with unstoppable Yuletide joy,\" according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis.\"Santa Claus, you're coming with us!\" was the line that got me. See if you can watch it straight through, with a friend, and not crack a smile. This amazingly silly film was obviously intended for young kids to see during Saturday afternoons in December, first in the cinema, and later on TV (just like the Martian children glued to their set). Or, maybe the whole project was a plot designed by parents to make their children go outside to play.Mean and mustached Vincent Beck (as Voldar) does well as the bad Martian; later, he guest-starred as the villainous \"Megazor\" on \"Lost in Space\", a show which (more often than not) accomplished much with small resources. Reputedly, Gene Lindsey is the man in the polar bear suit, but he can't bee seen; later, he guest-starred as \"Randall Drew\" (Roxanne's brother) on \"Dark Shadows\", a show sparking the imagination on a limited budget.With a small budget, your really need a big imagination. \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" has a few good lines, a phallic set statue (as the Martian kids watch TV), and a nice view of the sky as seen from Mars (see Saturn?) - but, there isn't enough creativity aboard. John Call (as Santa Claus) and Bill McCutcheon (as Dropo) try their best with the script, and 1980s celebrity Pia Zadora (as Girmar) debuts. Milton Delugg's music is nicely done.**** Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (11/14/64) Nicholas Webster ~ John Call, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon, Pia Zadora",
"title": "Deck the Halls of Mars with Folly"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "4",
"review": "This is one for the fans of Ed Wood and Plan Nine From Outer Space. It is a camp classic of how to make a space movie.The Martians kidnap Santa to bring joy to their children. You have to see their robot. It looks like a Halloween costume you may have made for your kids.A nuclear curtain is controlled by light bulbs! The Martians have antennas! I busted a gut watching this.They used a lot of Air Force stock footage and I was thrilled to see the SAC aircrews running from their bunkers to launch their planes in an attempt to intercept the Martian spacecraft.This was a real hoot!",
"title": "Oh me, oh my, oh me!"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "3",
"review": "This old cult classic can at times feel like a film from the future and it is more relevant today than it has ever been!After the mind boggling perfection that is the opening scene which I have uncontrollably erased from my mind, it delves into the subject of \"civilization\". A martian father figure is deeply concerned about his children's TV addiction, summons an ancient God as a last resort to save his children from the cruel claws of domineering TV advertisement strategists. The martians watch the Earth from above, an Earth that is magical and full of life in contrast to the dull and over-civilized Mars. It reminds me of Christopher Ryan's book \"Civilized to Death\", and is most likely an allegory for today's people who yearn to return to the way things were in the past.The villain, whose moniker is \"the black moustache man\", represents the toxic masculinity that is opposed to magical things, like Santa, and children. Meanwhile Santa has a white moustache, a true battle of wills represented by such a duality! The black moustache man complains about the excess amount of soy in the atmosphere of Mars softening up all the martian men and plans to kill Santa who is apparently conspiring against his traditional values.Meanwhile Santa is depicted as an alternative version of \"The Mask\", always laughing and mocking around, playing stupid and naive while he appears to have the power of a God. In fact he is so powerful that he seems to not take reality seriously at all, a bit too overpowered I'd say. I wanted to see him sneak up behind the bad guys and show them his true powers. And as expected, in the final battle against the black moustache man, Santa is utterly dominant, humiliating, shocking and overwhelming. After a painfully unhinged battle that must have been a fever dream of mine, magic and happiness conquers the dull civility of toxic masculinity.And all comes full circle crashing down.",
"title": "An intricate, homely and delirious masterpiece!"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "The plot is stupid (read the title again if you don't know why), the polar bear looks fake, actually EVERYTHING looks fake, the picture quality, everything is trash!This is now considered to be a \"cult classic\", a hated movie that has gained popularity, and rightfully so. It's a \"so bad it's good\" movie, and probably one of the best of it's kind.As I watched this movie, I wondered what I should rate it. It's not boring, but the film quality sucks! It's amazing that My Fair Lady, Mary Poppins, and The Gospel of According To St. Matthew came out the same year!The movie gets a 1 for it's quality, but it's a must see for goofy fun!",
"title": "As the other 1 star reviewers say..."
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "This ranks among the cults of the worst movies of all time (and it ended again on IMDB's Bottom 100) and it's also unintentionally funny. And it's probably the strangest and most psychedelic Christmas movie out there!The kids on Mars are depressed, and this because they don't have Christmas presents and Santa Claus that gives them presents. Then the martians have the idea of kidnapping Santa Claus (and in the process they also kidnap two Earth children that act very poorly). On Mars the Martians are happy but Santa and the kids not. This because the kids are nostalgic of their home and their family and Santa in the technological world of Mars hasn't nothing to do but pushing the same buttons over and over again. Then Dropo (the dumbest and most obnoxious alien that you'll ever find in a movie) disguises as Santa and then the Martian kids are happy, and the real Santa Claus and the two kids are sent on Earth at the end.Everything in this movie is pretty bad. The acting is very bad by everyone (especially by the two Earth children). I personally saw much better acting in Pauly Shore or Steven Seagal movies! The sets are pretty bad, like in PLAN 9 and ROBOT MONSTER there is too much stock footage, and the alien's costumes are the most hideous costumes I ever saw in old B-movies. The special effects are atrocious (especially the polar bear that is a guy in a suit which his head falls while he is chasing the kids), the characters are all unlikeable except Santa, but I hated Dropo SO much that I wanted to jump in the movie and beat him for stopping him! And the soundtrack, except the credits' song (I am ashamed of saying it but I found it catchy) it's very annoying and grating.In substance, a truly awful movie but also a must-see that you can use for a laugh or two. It has to be seen to be believed!",
"title": "A must-see just for laughing at his inaniness"
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "Martians kidnap Santa Claus due to an elder's belief that the Martian children need to experience Christmas and the joys of childhood. This leads to two human children discovering the conspiracy and work to get Santa Claus back by Christmas.This is a bizarre film with a bizarre concept. It's not good at all but if you want a b-grade schlocky film to watch during the holidays, look no further than this. It's for the most part harmless and despite its dumb and schlocky nature, I can understand why some may appreciate this as a guilty pleasure.It's a very low budget film with crappy production qualities, awful looking costumes and special appearances from people in cheap looking polar bear and robot costumes.If you are intrigued by Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, give it a watch. I know some people who like to watch this during Christmas time due to its bizarre nature. It essentially has the same production qualities as an Ed Wood movie but it's a Christmas movie.",
"title": "a bizarre film with a bizarre concept."
}
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{
"rating": "10",
"review": "Made in 1964 this film is a cult classic. Is it a great film? No! Is it fun to watch? Absolutely. Should you see? Of course. Is it safe for children? Yes.The plot of this film is that the children of Mars are in some sort of stupor. When a father goes to the supreme leader about the problems his children are having the leader tell s them that \"Children are no longer Children on Mars\". Eventually the Martians are told about how on earth they have Christmas and Santa Claus.The Martians then set out to kidnap Santa and they do along with 2 children.Santa however is facing a problem when he gets on Mars because one the Martians does not approve of his arrival.If your a child of the 1970's then chances are you have seen this film. It is fun to watch. You can't help but to laugh at the cheap looking \"Saturday Morning Television\" special effects.",
"title": "Lots of fun"
}
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{
"rating": "6",
"review": "I can still remember, as a kid back in 1964, seeing the TV commercials advertising that \"Santa Claus Conquers The Martians\" was coming to the local movie theater. I am watching it right now on Movies TV! It's on their Saturday morning popcorn movies lineup. Since it's the Saturday before Christmas, it's an appropriate time to show it. The plot of martians coming to earth to kidnap Santa Claus in order to get Martian kids to stop watching earth TV programs is a unique idea. It's kind of silly but earth kids back in 1964 would believe most anything. The special effects are OK and the makeup is good enough the time period. There are some legitimate actors in SCCTM. John Call was well cast as Santa. He had a long career both as a stage, movie and TV actor. What with the internet today, modern kids would probably not be too interested. But, it might be an enjoyable movie for really young kids who aren't into the internet and cell phones yet. And for any of us who still believe in Santa Claus.",
"title": "For Kids Who Still Believe In Santa Claus"
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "I only watched this because for about forty years I have seen it listed among science fiction movies. Yes one reviewer said it was made for kids. That's true. Others were made for adults. However, bad is bad. Who the film was directed at is of no consequences. I would suspect short attention spans, would last about five minutes. It's just a rambling mess of mistaken identity and ridiculous situations, going nowhere. Santa is OK in his ho, ho, ho, sort of way, but he even looks bored and confused at times. He is brought to Mars to get the kids to focus on more traditional Martian values or something. They are watching too much TV, I guess. But the pitfalls are that the Martians are so uninteresting. Earthlings with shoe polish on their faces--it even rubs off at times. There is the obligatory bad guy. I guess he's on a power trip because what difference does it all make? The title is really the best part of the movie.",
"title": "It's just pretty bad!"
}
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{
"rating": "[No Rating]",
"review": "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has been (deservedly)called one of the weirdest movies ever made!An early effort of Joseph E.Levine this cheaply and quickly produced movie has survived nearly 40 years despite the continuous barrage of scathing reviews and critical jeers!Still it has somehow struck a cord in the sentimental hearts of moviegoers of all ages!No matter how bad it really is \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" is a cute little holiday romp that will made you both laugh and smile! The plot of course is simple:Mars is desperately in need of something to make it's children laugh and play!Of course they watch \"earth shows\" on their (intragalactic?) TVs and dream of having toys and holidays to look forward to!The head Martian decides to invade earth,kidnap Santa,and start a Christmas (Santa,toys & all) on Mars! On the way to find the \"real\" Santa these Martians meet little Billy and Betty-and force them to join Santa on his new journey as Mar's Santa!The bad Martians want no part of Santa and toys and try to get rid of him (along with the little earthlings Billy and Betty) But,no avail,Santa and the \"Christmas Spirit\" wins out in the end and even elects the lovable,dimwitted Martian Dropo as the new Santa for the children of Mars! I guess what makes this silly film so endearing is the sincere portrayals of it's characters!Despite the lack of good scripting and scenery these actors take their roles quite seriously and play their roles quite realistically!And the Santa Claus character...well I haven't seen such a convincing portrayal since 1947s \"Miracle on 34th Street\" All in all it's a cute movie with some funny characters and a nice happy ending! Enjoy it with the kids and have some fun!!",
"title": "No matter what they say...this movie is cute!"
}
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{
"rating": "3",
"review": "People always give the \"greatest movie ever\" label to more basic films like \"Citizen Kane\" or \"The Godfather\", but, when I looked over the humongous list of films that I've seen, the one that truly impacted me the most was \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\".The true emotional impact of this funny, entertaining, and truly beautiful film cannot match that of any other film. This is the stuff that would make Truffaut proud!I mean, let's be honest, after watching \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\", Fellini looks pretty terrible, right? I mean, sure, his films have intelligent scripts, strong emotional cores, and playful humor, but they are...lifeless. At least when being compared to this excellent work.I think that we should change dictionaries so that when you look up \"brilliant\" you just see a poster for this film. That just makes sense, right?Are these sarcastic reviews not funny anymore? Yes. But that doesn't stop me from doing them!",
"title": "Masterpiece"
}
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{
"rating": "5",
"review": "This film has been ridiculed by every UHF movie host out there, and rightfully so.There is a point of awfulness in a movie where it recycles itself into comedy gold. Few movies have done this successfully, but this is one of them. This one and Plan 9 from Outer Space.The plot is that Martians have sucked all the fun out of their society, so their solution is to kidnap Santa Claus and make him to the Santa thing for Martian children. It's as awful and cornball as all those other Christmas specials we've seen over the years, but without the silly animation.Also, it has a 10 year old Pia Zadora before she got into making \"serious\" movies.",
"title": "Comically silly..."
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "The Martians kidnap Santa (John Call) because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.Yes, this movie is abysmally bad. The stock footage, the Martian costumes, the polar bear costume... it is terrible. The plot is actually pretty decent and could have made a good movie, but this was not it. However, this was what was made, and it is darn entertaining for what it is.Of course, besides the terrible costumes, you also have to avoid the scientific questions -- why do Martians speak and write in English? How do you turn on and off a shield that blocks radar? What is a nuclear shield? Fun fact: This was the film debut of Pia Zadora (who plays Girmar). Zadora went on to have a small but impacting film career, as well as releasing numerous albums.",
"title": "Quite Bad, But Enjoyable in its Badness"
}
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{
"rating": "5",
"review": "Classic among bad movie enthusiasts, it is, after all, geared towards children and is innocuous, with it's heart in the right place. Martians kidnap Santa Claus and two Earth kids, hoping they can bring a smile to the frowning faces of their little green children. With a title like \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\", it's certain to draw ridicule..it's just so easy to mock the costumes, sets, effects, and dialogue, but it's all directed at kids at Christmas time, so adults would find such silly dross as this a perfect target for scorn.The scene with the giant robot or North Pole polar bear, the martians' head gear, face paint, and costumes, Santa ho-ho-ho-ing at situations which simply aren't funny(..and few are laughing, and even here it's strained and forced), newspaper front pages proclaiming in horror of Ole Saint Nick's capture at the hands of the Martians, zap guns which \"freeze\" victims in a temporary state which will soon wear off(..Santa is quite disappointed that his wife and elves have been zapped, but his cheery resolve is rather amazing), the \"radar box\", Bill McCutcheon's clumsy oafish martian Dropo (..always bumbling, stumbling about and getting in trouble), the escape from certain death(..when it appears that Santa, Billy, and Betty are doomed to be sucked out in space, somehow miraculously finding their way out through a small access tunnel), the red cave on mars where Dropo is kidnapped after villainous Voldor(Vincent Beck)mistakes him for Santa, and a broom closet in the dwelling of King Kimar. The Martian kids have their own television sets which broadcast to them specials telecast on Earth, and a live interview in Santa's workshop instigated by a jovial reporter. The machine which makes toys for the Martian children is sabotaged by Voldor who believes Santa is making his \"warrior race\" weak through Holiday cheer.I could go on and on, but, again, the movie's crowd was supposed to be children, and it's spirit is aimed at this particular demographic so we as adults are gonna respond with embarrassment at it. The dressed up sets and Martian costumes instantly tickle the funny bone, and the plot is bizarre, there's just no disputing this, but I find the motives behind this admirable.",
"title": "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "This movie is so bad it's hilarious. The plot could have been written by a 6 year old, the budget was definitely under $100 dollars, and th acting is just pitiful. I could make a better movie in my backyard. Even for 1964, this is pitiful.That being said, this movie is should be watched just so you can laugh at it's failure. The Martians are people in bad makeup with random crap taped to their head and the full effect off their weapons is pointing them at someone and that someone cannot move for an hour. Not even any sound effects. The polar bear costume had HUMAN gloves with opposable thumbs. This movie doesn't deserve contempt, just pity.",
"title": "So bad it's funny."
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "Don't let the title of this movie mislead to into believing that this is some sort of B-horror, it isn't. It's a children's movie... a very bad children's movie. I've sat through movies that have put me in more pain than this (mostly sequels) but there really isn't anything good about this. First off the title of the movie is enough to pull in nearly any B-horror fan before they realize that Santa isn't up in the sky blasting away at the Martians. Rather he is kidnapped and ends up going pretty quietly. The problem with Mars is that there is no joy to be had for the children on Mars. Drawing this from the sad looks on his children's faces, the Martian leader decides it'd be a great idea to kidnap Santa and force him to spread Christmas joy on their planet. Again, Santa has no problem with this and goes quietly. However, the evil Voldar sees weakness in joy and decides that Santa must be destroyed before all of Mars becomes a happy place. So does Santa actually conquer anything? No. Is there anything in this movie that's worth seeing? Unless your extremely forgiving when it comes down to children's movies, no. Another thing that should be noted is that I do believe the soundtrack for this movie was recorded in the 7th layer of Hell. It's that bad. Not even worth the $5.50 bin at Wal-Mart. If you want a Christmas movie I suggest revisiting Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas.",
"title": "Pretty not good."
}
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{
"rating": "3",
"review": "The complete and utter ineptness of this movie is very entertaining for approximately 20 minutes. Then it's simply becomes another incredibly lame and irritating no-budget Sci-Fi flick from the early 60's. The opening sequences are still somewhat refreshing and, bearing in mind this was originally intended to be a film for children exclusively, you begin to develop impressions that it doesn't really deserves its notorious reputation of being one of the all-time worst stinkers. All the children on earth get anxious because Christmas time is coming up and jolly music plays from every television set. For some hi-tech reason, the children on Mars receive the earthly TV-channels as well, and they're depressed because they haven't got a bearded fat guy in a red suit that hands out presents. The great leader of Mars Β busy man that he is Β promptly organizes a mission to earth in order to kidnap Santa and return the happiness to his children's green faces. So far so good, the sets and costumes are incredibly cheesy and laughable, but you can't help smiling at the screen. Then it all goes downhill from the moment Santa (and two random kids) are abducted and taken back to Mars. Santa Claus doesn't exactly \"conquer\" the Martians; he befriends them! For you see, there's only ONE mean and ill-natured Martian but all the others are hospitable and friendly. Then the movie just gets plain boring and I imagine even kids from the early 60's would have found it dreadful! The enthusiasm of cast and crew seems to have disappeared and there are absolutely no ingenious gimmicks anymore. John Call has the ideal posture and charisma to play Santa, but even he can't produce a convincing \"Ho Ho Ho\" when the end of the movie nears. Painful...",
"title": "HO HO Ho Horrible!"
}
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{
"rating": "10",
"review": "BEWARE OF FALSE REVIEWS & REVIEWERS. SOME REVIEWERS HAVE ONLY ONE REVIEW TO THEIR NAME. NOW WHEN ITS A POSITIVE REVIEW THAT TELLS ME THEY WERE INVOLVED WITH THE MOVIE. IF ITS A NEGATIVE REVIEW THEN THEY MIGHT HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST THE FILM . NOW I HAVE REVIEWED OVER 200 HOLIDAY FILMS. I HAVE NO AGENDA. I AM HONESTGrowing up in Oxnard Ca this film always played on KTTV Channel 11 around Christmas time. It later moved to KTLA Channel 5 and Pia Zadora even did a fireside chat with television movie host Tom Hatten.Even today watching this film is a huge part of my \"Christmas traditions\". It was a \"Must See\" when I was a child and today I still watch it (Around Christmas)\". I also still watch \"Rudolph\" \"Charlie Brown\" \"Frosty the Snowman\" and MGM's \"A Christmas Carol\". One of the main reasons why I love this film is because I loved John Call as \"Santa Claus\". He is a huge delight. He is a terrific Santa.In this film \"Santa\" gets kidnapped by Martians. The reason is that the children of Mars do not have a \"Santa\". They also do not know how to have \"fun\". So the leader of Mars goes to Earth and kidnaps Santa as well as 2 earth children. \"Santa\" then slowly wins over the Adult Martians even though there are certain forces against him.Now if you are an adult (and you have never seen this) you will think this movie is terrible. Children (Who still believe in Santa) will be entertained. It is harmless fun! Even the theme song \"Hooray For Santa Claus\" is \"Cute & Catchy\".The films low budget is all too apparent here however if this film did have a bigger budget then it might not have the weird charm.I beg all of you to watch this film. Have a viewing party. It is a film that many people have seen and actually are afraid to admit that they enjoy it.I am not afraid to admit that I even bought this film on Blu-Ray.",
"title": "I loved this film as a child"
}
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{
"rating": "7",
"review": "This movie was fantastically bad. I found it in the Dollar DVD section at Target and was too amused by the title not to buy it. Best dollar I ever spent. Having just completed a Science Fiction Film Analysis class at school, my friends and I amused ourselves by picking out the parallelisms and political allegories. It was incredibly cheesy with terrible sci-fi elements and very predictable. But it was so awesome.Basically,if you can appreciate a terrible movie, definitely check this one out. Or if you're a bored college kid looking for a movie to make fun of. Or I guess if you hate bad movies and you're a masochist you could always watch it to torture yourself. See? this movie is perfect for a wide audience!FYI: I am being completely serious here. There is no sarcasm. I really enjoyed how cheesy this movie was.",
"title": "Ridiculous and predictable in a really awesome way"
}
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{
"rating": "3",
"review": "I wouldn't put among the worst of the worst, but to be honest Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is not a good movie in my view. However, it is definitely worth seeing to see how bad it is. I do think the film starts off well, the first twenty minutes are refreshing and entertaining. After that, it is a different story, and although it is a mess it is hard not to be entertained by it.First off, while the sets aren't too bad, the effects are hysterically awful and the costumes especially with the martians are pretty hideous. The cinematography is also rather shoddy. The music is okay, but gets too much after a while. With Hooray for Santa Claus, I wasn't sure whether to cry \"Three cheers for Santa Claus\" or \"Bah humbug\".The script is appalling mostly, cloying and unintentionally camp, while the story is incoherent and mean-spirited and there are some real pacing problems especially in the middle. The acting is not great either, John Call initially seemed a good choice for Santa with just the right charisma, but he is too jolly and he looked drunk or out of it in some way. I think a previous commentator is right, maybe he did read the script, knew it was terrible and decided to play along.Overall, pretty bad but entertaining also. 3/10 Bethany Cox",
"title": "A must-see if to see how hysterically bad it is"
}
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{
"rating": "[No Rating]",
"review": "This Christmas Classic is a yearly event in my household. I first saw it when I was about 4 or 5yo myself so I guess I have a soft spot for it. It's incredibly silly, but then again so are most of the other Christmas specials. The song at the end is catchy and you'll facepalm yourself when you realize you're singing it later on. And don't worry, they conveniently have the words on the screen as it's being sung to cement it into your brain. ;)As others have said the film is in desperate need of remastering, the colors are darker than they used to be and the copy I just watched on COMET Tv is sadly visibly worn but still worth the watch. Maybe some student in film preservation/history can save it for future generations.This is a recommended watch for any lover of B films!",
"title": "A Children's Christmas Classic!"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "Although this movie has amassed a cult reputation as one of the worst movies ever made, it's not really inept enough to justify even a cursory look. True, the title song has a certain zingy bounce to it that promises hilarity and for a while there it seems we might be in for a mild spoof on Christmassy movies or even a send-up of Day the Earth Stood Still. Alas, despite the expenditure of a fair bit of money on sets and costumes, every plot opening turns into a dead end.Admittedly, not the worst movie ever made but it tries mighty hard to reach that distinction. If the script was meant to be joked up or played tongue-in-cheek, almost the entire cast seems unaware of that fact. In fact, John Call and Leonard Hicks are offered some really splendid comic opportunities but both seem relentlessly bent on playing the script straight, despite prodding by Vincent Beck and Bill McCutcheon (plus Don Blair in a small part as the television news announcer) to follow their examples. Mr Call in particular deserves some sort of commendation for his successful efforts to rob the role of any satiric humor, although Mr Webster's unhelpfully leaden direction must also cop a fair share of the blame.",
"title": "Not quite the worst movie ever made"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "On Mars, the Martian's kids are feeling rather blue, so the leader of the Martians come up with a plan to kidnap Santa Claus from Earth to bring him back with them so he can spread the Christmas joy, by giving presents to their children. But also on the trip to Mars are two Earth children who get caught up in this mess by helping the Martians find Santa Claus. Not everyone is too happy about this outcome, as one of the Martians doesn't like this idea of Santa spreading fun to their children, so he goes out of his way to stop that happening.What's Christmas without watching a Christmas flick. But oh my what a film to pick! I remember watching this flick a long time ago, but I didn't remember too much about it and that was definitely a good thing from what I just watched! It isn't the worst film I've seen, but it isn't that far away from it. 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians ' does give the word bad, a really bad name. Ah, maybe bad is too loose of word to describe it. Abysmal, yeah that's better. Sure, this is aimed at children, but really there's whole lot better Christmas flicks out there! Especially since it treats you as if you're damn fool! There's nothing subtle about it with you basically being slap in the face with its heavy handed nature of forced morality and force-feeding you, to where the story is heading. If you're thinking that it might be so bad that it's good entertainmentΒ
far from it, actually. Ed Wood might be proud of it as it does share patterns to his type of work in the cheap effects, lousy costumes (except Santa's, but not the polar bear) and cardboard sets, but his films had heart by being too over-the-top, while this made in the basement production was a total drag and ultimately cold. Even if there's one or two hammy performances amongst many droll ones. That would be John Call as Santa Claus. The Christmas spirit to me came across as false and rather unsettling. Yeah, unsettling. Something about it and all the happiness felt unstable and just got my nerves. When they broke into that unnatural laughter and strained humour, *argh*, don't they know their limitations in this incompetent hogwash. Nice idea, but handled without any real passion and it shows by its restless nature. So, this is how to celebrate Christmas! And to think, is this feature mocking itself or being serious. Ah, I think more so the latter. Bah! Oh my beloved eyes and ears. Why did I put you in this much pain?Other things that stand out in this uninspired trite has got to be the choreographed action pieces that just blows you away. Blows you away at how amateurish they were. Pretty much it's cartoon style in its action, gags and wait the drowning music. Stock footage is patched in rather elegantly! That's if you got bad eye sight. The diabolically lengthy script with its emotionally touching and you bloody don't say speeches aren't helped by the mostly robotic performances. These mainly came from the kids and the aliens from Mars. Well more so, people who just like to wear green (because it's logically that they be green) and have a hard hat with tubing and a TV antenna on top. Gee, they looked so realistic! It looks like it just comes second nature. Be careful you don't lose any brain cells as the catchy, but annoying opening and ending tune sticks in your head! \"Hooray for Santa Claus\" No, \"hooray it's over\" sounds a lot better.Expect the unexpected. But that doesn't mean it's a good thing! Oh, by the way, the Martian's stun ray really works a miracle.",
"title": "There ain't no conquering here."
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "The children of Mars are miserable and so the elders of the planet go to the ancient Oracle of their planet who explains that the children of Earth are happier because it's the Christmas season and so they are excited about Santa bringing them gifts. The wise elders (among then Vincent Beck, Charles Renn, and James Cahill) decide they need to kidnap Santa and bring him to Mars so that their kids can experience some of the joy that Earth children are experiencing. Voldar (Beck) doesn't believe Mars needs Santa Claus and so he attempts to undermine bringing Santa home at every turn.I really can't hate a movie this inept. Obviously the resources and technical savvy of how to make a movie are missing in this case but it's obvious that the filmmaker wants to tell an upbeat story about the joyfulness that Santa characterizes. That he was completely technically inept, that the spaceship looks made of tinfoil, that much of the acting would not be out of place at an elementary school Christmas play, and that the dialogue is wooden enough that it might be possible to carve a canoe out of it is all true. That said, I don't find this unlikable. It is what it is. It's not the vanity project of a completely unqualified singer (Glitter, Swept Away anyone?) or the cynical, calculating Hollywood film which doesn't care about its own cynicism or the intelligence of its potential viewers (Waterworld, just about anything Steven Seagal, Renny Harlin, or Van Damme have been involved in for the last 20 years). If you like sweet, kitschy movies, this is one for you.",
"title": "Kitschy classic"
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "This is the absolute bottom of the holiday barrel, a trip through hell that one can never prepare themselves for. You think you've known pain? You've known nothing, to quote Samhain.On Mars, Momar and Kimar are worried that their children, Girmar (Pia Zadora, who also sang the horrifying song \"Hooray for Santa Claus,\" but let's forgive her because she was in The Lonely Lady) and Bomar are watching too much Earth TV. The big thing they're all excited about is a live interview with Santa. But the kids have some pretty big issues - their education is fed directly into their brains with no individual thought.The wise ancient Chochem has seen this coming for centuries and says that Mars also needs a Santa Claus. The Martians are all pretty much assholes, so they decide to steal Earth's Santa instead of creating their own.Along the way, the Martians kidnap two Earth children along with Santa. Voldar, a Martian hardliner, disagrees with this idea and keeps trying to kill Santa and the kids. Yes, in a holiday movie meant for children, Santa faces death. Sadly, this film is so painful, children very well may cheer for Santa's doom in the hopes that this movie ends sooner.Then there's the wacky Martian named Dropo, who will challenge your will to live. There are all sorts of badly made toys, wacky hijinks and murder plots. The fact that parents would subject their kids to this travesty upsets me to this day.",
"title": "SANTEE Claus!"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "I didn't like this movie when I was a kid. Now, as an adult, I can appreciate the true awfulness of this movie. I love movies that are so stupid that they're entertaining. I love Ed Wood movies, Lost in Space, Zontar the Thing from Venus, but this movie surpasses the stupidity threshold. If your children insist on watching this movie, I recommend leaving the room!! Does this movie have any redeeming qualities?...Hmmm...Vincent Beck did do a fair job portraying the villain...and...Oh yes,you do get to see a prepubescent Pia Zadora standing around with a blank look on her face when she doesn't have any lines!! There's plenty of holiday entertainment out there you can watch before enduring this.",
"title": "Embarrassing to watch"
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a public domain fantasy film that was released in 1964 and is often regarded as one of the worst films ever made. As of April 2011, it is ranked number seventy-nine on the IMDb Bottom 100 with a 2.3 overall rating. It's such an odd little, creature of it's time, it's getting the \"wonderful\" honor of a remake. Completely unnecessary. There is pretty much no way this film could be made to be good.The title alone mystifies me. At no point in the film does Santa Claus \"conquer\" anything. Martians are grim after watching Christmas specials on Earth depicting the jolly man St. Nick as a guy to bring happiness. They have no one like that on their planet. So the Martians summon an old man that tells them Mars is awful because there is no Santa Claus. So the Martians capture two earthlings that lead them to the \"real\" Santa Claus at the North Pole.How the film is shot is another thing that is difficult to explain. It's 1960, color is quite popular in movies. Being only shot with $200,000 and having a name with \"Santa Claus\" in it probably means they wanted to use essence of color in the film. The color is dimmer than a 3D film. I can't tell what process was used. Obviously, Technicolor wasn't. With this, some scenes are in color, but it's so dim if the color isn't red or blue it's hard to see.Sometimes, on frequent occasions, if something large in the movie is a bright color, like red, the color will spill onto other things around it. I know it's 1964, but color was around. This is lower budget, but if this was black and white it would look a lot less wonky and protruding.The acting is unbelievably atrocious, but oh how I love it. There is a scene where the idiot martian Dropo (McCutcheon) is getting yelled at by the other martians for lazy. He runs away and \"accidently\" falls into various levers and is supposed to look like he fell into them. When he actually runs up to the levers, pulls four abruptly, and quickly grabs the other two he \"missed.\" The ship then rumbles uncontrollably. Absolutely, unintentionally scene that was an unexpected delight.Watching this with a friend was fun because we would talk back to the screen, ask the TV questions, and so on. Nothing is more fun than asking a movie why, what, and how questions that you genuinely want to know. It's like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is known for it's public domain status in the United States. Public domain is where a film is open to the public and has no copyright on it in any form. Ever see those fifty movie packs in theaters that have fifty films from a specific genre? Like horror, drama, \"box office gold,\" etc. Those are all public domain films. Even though I gave the film a low rating, it's most likely the best public domain film in its own right. Usually all of the films have bad acting, a lame storyline, and poor picture quality clearly diminishing from its frequent copying from one DVD to the next. Santa Claus has all of those qualities; and it's pretty much the strangest Christmas film to exist.Starring: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon, Victor Stiles, Donna Conforti, Chris Month, Pia Zadora, Leila Martin, and Charles Renn. Directed by: Nicholas Webster.",
"title": "Public domain goodness"
}
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{
"rating": "5",
"review": "The plot is pretty much as stupid as the title makes it out to be. Santa Claus conquers the Martians, is about Martians who decide to kidnap Santa Claus (John Call) just because they don't have one. Billy Foster (Victor Stiles) and Betty Foster (Donna Conforti) become stowaways on the Martian ship and befriend Santa. When they get to Mars, Santa actually doesn't conquer the Martians as the title suggests. He just spreads his Christmas cheer on Mars. But the evil Martian, Voldar (Do you get it? It's a combination of villain and Martian. The film is very subtle that way.) (Vincent Beck) is still angry and wants to ruin Christmas. So the kids and Santa gang up on him and attack him with all different kinds of toys. Yeah, the story is a pretty big mess. But it's just so stupid that it ends up being enjoyable. It's almost as if it knew it was a B-movie so it's just trying to have fun with it. Think about it. No movie with the title Santa Claus Conquers the Martian it really meant to be taken seriously. Merry Christmas.",
"title": "So bad it has to be good."
}
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{
"rating": "10",
"review": "First I saw \"Reefer Madness.\" It was bad, but great.Then I saw \"Plan 9 From Outer Space.\" Horrible, but enjoyable.After that I saw \"Robot Monster.\" Awful and yet spectacular.Finally, I saw \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" Wow, how can you make a lame plot for a screenplay worse? By making a low budget film out of it. And that's just what Joseph Levine thought when he released this film onto an unsuspecting Earth. Now I ask you, is this indeed the WORST film of all time? My opinion: NO. In my translation of the meaning \"bad film\" means \"unbearable, unwatchable and disposable.\" Not \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.\" This film is a landmark in the American motion picture industry. The makers of this film actually had the guts to create and release this film. Now that takes some serious talent! Let's not forget the actors either. Surprisingly the acting isn't nearly as bad as it's made out to be (people confuse the 'acting' with the 'plot.'). The children, the Martians and even Santa Claus make one heck of an impression on a shoe-string budget film like this (don't forget that weird professor Albert Einstein wannabe). Above all, clever a production design really create a fine sense of cheesiness. Now, how about a brand new DVD 'Special Cheesy Edition' of \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?\"\"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" is a rare and satisfying little gem of a film that broke, no, shattered all the rules of making a \"good and enjoyable\" movie. Now if only the bad films we get nowadays would be as bad as this one. Then they would actually be deemed \"enjoyable.\"I give \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" 5 frozen-stiff elves zapped by Voldar, out of 5.A true cinematic cult classic.",
"title": "An American Classic of Bad Cinema"
}
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{
"rating": "7",
"review": "At Christmas time my uncle brought this movie over and made me and my best friend watch. SInce we don't believe in Santa we did not want to see this. My Uncle however was insistent and so we watched this on Christmas Day and I am glad we did.At first I thought that was a SNL sketch. It was so weird. After 10 minutes I got into it. Its weird but crazy fun.The plot is that the Martian kidnap Santa. Mars doesn't have a Santa or every herd of him. So after the \"Martian King\" tells them about Santa its off the earth to kidnap our beloved Christmas Icon.Stupid movie but so much fun to watch!",
"title": "Don't Be Hating"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "This is probably the worst movie ever made. It combines terrible acting, terrible jokes, terrible sets, and terrible visual \"effects\" with a terrible plot. Replace all those \"terrible\"s with any derogatory term you'd like to insert. However, it is hilarious to watch and see how awful this movie really is. In this, it is a MUST-SEE. This movie is a MASTERPIECE in that it is absolutely not a masterpiece in any way, except that it is a masterpiece of awfulness. This movie is incredibly awful. Go rent it right now!",
"title": "A Must-See Masterpiece!"
}
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{
"rating": "[No Rating]",
"review": "From the rockin' opening song, we know we're in for a sci-fi / holiday treat with SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS! The action takes place in a world where Santa Claus (John Call) is real, and his elves are busy working overtime for the upcoming Christmas season.Meanwhile, on Mars, Martian children watch our pirated TV broadcasts, and discover their own lack of a Santa. What to do? Why, kidnap the jolly old elf, of course! On the plus side, we learn much about Martian culture and customs, and their penchant for wearing toaster covers, complete with natural gas lines on their noggins. We also learn that space travel is as easy as catching the bus, transporting Martians millions of miles in minutes!Does Santa stand a chance? Once abducted, can the world possibly cope with its Santa-less state?No, I tells ya!One need only see this movie once, in order to realize where a certain Mr. Lucas may have gotten his ideas! Featuring future super-omni-mega-star, Pia Zadora in her most convincing role as Martian girl, Girmar, SCCTM is pure mesmerizing merriment! There's even a refrigerator box robot! Highly recommended for those under 5 years of age.P.S.- This movie is the perfect companion for the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL!...",
"title": "\"Something Is Happening To The Children Of Mars!\"..."
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "What's so bad about \"Santa Claus conquers the Martians\"? As another reviewer on IMDb has already stated correctly, this is a KIDS' movie. What do you expect? I really do not get why it is in the \"Essentials\" collection of MST3K, together with the truly unspeakable \"Manos, the Hands of Fate\". In contrast to that one, \"Santa Claus\" at least has a story and real actors. What's more, the cheap looks of the robot and ice bear, as well as the extremely colorful sets and ridiculous space-costumes give it an air of cuteness.SCCTM has only two real flaws: The way the children defeat that evil Martian by throwing toys at him is not exactly convincing. And the \"funny\" Dropo character, instead of becoming Mars-Santa in the end, should have been executed. That would have given Pia Zadora an even better reason to smile. Apart from that, I found the movie quite tolerable, even entertaining.",
"title": "I beg your pardon. This one's quite OK !"
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "A lot of things have happened to the poor old jolly elf over the years. In different movies, he's been put in jail, kissed by housewives, tried for lunacy, knocked off a roof by Tim Allen, and one time a guy tried to blow up the North Pole. This is the classic among them all, when Santa gets kidnapped by Martians. The Martian kids are depressed, you see, so the Martians abduct Santa to make their kids happy again.Campiness is to be expected in a kids' movie, but this movie soars far and beyond all expectations of cheesiness. Martians have poorly applied green makeup that doesn't cover all their faces. Also, they wear used helmets painted green with broken antennae attached, for some reason. The robot and the polar bear are two of the most absurd monsters, and the freeze ray doesn't work too well on actors who visibly move while \"frozen.\" There's one character meant to be comic relief, but he's hard to find, since everyone else hams it up as bad as he does. Cheap sets, probably left overs from a grade-school play. Nonsensical dialogue, plot holes, miscellaneous errors, the list goes on. This movie is also the source for a trivia question: Girmar (\"girl Martian,\" get it? lol) is played by whom in her first role?With all its blunders and goofiness, I'll give the movie one thing--it maintains a cheerful approach at all times. It even awkwardly manages a message about kindness winning enemies over as friends. It's necessary to approach the movie as a joke, though. Taking it at face value will probably leave you bored. I suspect that the original target audience of children were probably bored, since the movie drags in several places. As a \"so-stupid-it's-funny\" movie, this one is a novelty in its stunning ineptitude.",
"title": "Utterly ridiculous, but fun if you're in the mood for nonsense"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "Now, when I watched this movie on MST3K, I was just binging the episodes Netflix had at the time, and this movie stuck out at me because I recall Nostalgia Critic mentioning this in one of his reviews. And needless to say, not only is this movie bad, but it's so insultingly painful to watch that my brain cells were killed off each minute. It was so bad that I needed to watch a good movie to restore myself afterward.",
"title": "Mystery Science Theater 3000"
}
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{
"rating": "3",
"review": "This unflinchingly testament to the tensions of the Cold War represents a typically enterprising choice by Talking Pictures as their Christmas treat for the kiddies. Often reviled as one of the worst films ever made: for God's lighten up, it's for kids, who absolutely lapped it up!! It's all very pretty in colour and it boasts a charming song that later sold well as a single.Santa himself is portrayed as a genial old cove who smokes a pipe, and his Missus makes a rare screen appearance. The Martians wear probably the silliest outfits - with headdresses that make them look like insects - since the days of 'Flash Gordon' (although 'Lost in Space was soon to surpass it) and one the daftest-looking robots you're ever likely to see.The Martians all have American accents, greet each by rubbing noses and seem to consist of just one family and a handful of henchmen. The po-faced delivery by most of the cast is rather at odds with the raucous score by Milton DeLugg, and the sets belong in the shabbier episodes of 'Star Trek'.It's good to see both sides of the Iron Curtain united against a common foe. There's also a little bit of what passes for topical humour in that one of Santa's reindeer is called 'Nixon' and the head of America's space programme is called 'Werner von Green' and that one of the Martians is entranced by his introduction to the slinky spring. Although by far the least funny element is predictably the comedy relief.",
"title": "\"All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit!\""
}
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{
"rating": "3",
"review": "The leaders of Mars are worried about their constantly melancholy children. They've seen enough earth TV to know that Santa Claus brings much joy and happiness to the children of Earth. What if Santa were to come to Mars? Could he make the Martian children happy? So, the leaders of Mars decide to kidnap Santa and bring him to their planet. Will it work?If you scour the internet, you'll undoubtedly run across a number of Worst Movie Ever lists. But until you've seen the atrocity that is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, I'm not sure you're qualified to make such a list. There are a lot of bad movies out there, but there's only one Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It's bad in every conceivable way β incompetently bad acting on the part of most of the cast (Billy and Betty anyone?), some of the lamest special effects imaginable (What about that crazy polar bear?), more mugging for the camera than any one movie should be allowed (Did you catch Dropo's act?), Martian-green grease paint that comes and goes with each scene, and one of the most utterly ridiculous plots ever put to paper. Did anyone involved in the making of this thing think they were actually making a movie that was good? If so, add brain damaged cast and crew to that list of negatives. Yes, I'm fully aware that Santa Claus Conquers the Martians was intended to be a children's movie, but I'm sorry, I can't imagine a single child alive (then or now) that would sit down for more than five minutes with this abomination of a movie. In a word, it's pathetic. This is the perfect example of a movie that probably does deserve to be on a Worst Movie Ever list.Okay, I know what you're asking yourself right now β \"B2 β if the movie's as bad as you say, why have you rated it a 3/10 instead of a 1/10?\" Glad you asked - as much as I hate the phrase \"so bad it's good\", in this case it applies in spades. I simply cannot turn away if it's on β Mystery Science Theater 3000 version or not (which, by the way, I rate a 4/5 on my MST3K rating scale). The sheer volume of craptitude draws me in like a moth to a flame. And if I'll sit and watch regardless of how much it hurts, that's got to be worth a couple of points, doesn't it?",
"title": "\"Santa, you will never return to Earth, you belong to Mars now.\""
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "Dubious is the artistic integrity of any sci-fi story set in 'Septober'. Nevertheless, this no doubt seriously-intended seasonal concoction for the kiddies is a scream today.Wacky sets, props and colours aside, a consistent facetious hilarity is maintained via the allusions between 'Martian' and middle-class American domesticity throughout the story of Mr Claus' exploits after being kidnapped by the eponymous planet, following their concern that their children are being brainwashed by exposure to festive 'Earth Programmes' on their intergalactic TVs. \"Something is happening to the children of Mars\" espouses the anguished Martian Mom Momar to her husband; \"Kemar, as leader of the Martians, you must do something about it\".Supporting the possible sneaky allegory about the universally deleterious effects of TV on kids is none other than a prepubescent Pia Zadora, before she grew up to sing a couple of deleteriously awful 80s pop songs and star in a couple of deleteriously awful 80s movies. I'm not convinced that Mom's diet of 'dinner pills' didn't go someway to achieving the catatonic state of acting that Pia and her on-screen brother achieve, but there you go you can't lambast parents for too many things at once in an ostensible flick for kids. That would be subversive!If, by the time the sing-a-long 'Hooray for Santy Claus!' end credits refrain rolls around, you're not convinced that at least some involved in this prodigious production were not under the influence of something, it is always interesting to note the air-lock resolution premise of Alien being trotted out for the second time (following It! The Terror From Beyond Space). I fail to see how anyone, even men with polar bear costume fetishes, could not unilaterally love this film; at the very least it is so vastly superior to 'Santa Claus The Movie'.",
"title": "Film-Making Plan 9 From Mars"
}
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{
"rating": "3",
"review": "This movie is so BAD! Don't watch it for a Christmas movie it is not Christmasy it is a space movie. And it is from old times. It is not good today. But it is fun to watch- cuz its so bad. It is a really silly movie to but also really boring some times.",
"title": "its a BAD movie but its fun!"
}
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{
"rating": "8",
"review": "I think that the main magic of many of these endearing old camp films comes from the fact that they undoubtedly have something amiable, cordial .In these things, SANTA Β
excels. From this came a sort a primitive poetry that has emotional relevance and can still be enjoyed, tasted. The effects were clumsy and what not, yet the touch was light and amiable. It elicited, on the viewer's part, a complicity. SANTA Β
is in no way a classic; but it is a cordial amiable funny movie very aware of its limitations, humble yet confident. It was the joyfulness of the pictures made by another race of movie makers. This is what has been lost since, and is missing today.Such films have an undeserved fame, an unmerited bad reputation; they are not bad, they are clumsy. There are thousands of worst movies; and more clumsy.These are picturesquely clumsy. This is their specific. Only the philistines take them for being 'bad', or even 'the worst'.SANTA Β
was so long ago labeled, classified, that,as a newΒcomer to the cult,I knew what to expectΒand I was not disappointed. I suspect of hypocrisy those who pretend to be amazed (negatively) by what this film is aboutΒor about what it looks like. Come on, we all already knewΒthe film but confirms us. Its cult precedes it.Santa Claus is a funny ,serene Sci-Fi adventure for kids. I have seen for the first time as a 29 yrs. man,and liked it.I can only guess what a fun experience might this film be for a kid. It is clumsy in a way so humble, so modest, that it's endearing. It is a nice joyride, colorful and amusing. It is cheerful ,childish and clumsy. I do not understand the sour bitter compact prejudice against it. It's not much to be said about SANTA CLAUS; what can one comment about a nice joke, or about an unpretentious fairy tale?",
"title": "A kind of clumsy magic, very savory; the charm and integrity of some primitive productions"
}
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{
"rating": "7",
"review": "I saw this movie in 1964 when I was 8 years old and I loved it. I next saw it a few years ago when the Sci-Fi channel aired it around Christmas and I still loved it but for different reasons. As a child during the 60`s this movie contained all the things a kid could want in a movie...Martians, rocket ships and Santa Claus to boot. As an adult it is hokey, poorly made and silly....but it brings back memories of the days that we were amazed by.....Martians, rocket ships and Santa Claus. I taped it when the Sci-Fi channel aired it and I show it every year at our Christmas party...even though I hear nothing but complaints from our party guests I still am transported back to that time when we were amazed by.......well you know.",
"title": "One of my favorite Christmas movies"
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "An awful bad movie rescued from oblivion by Joel and the bots. Smart jokes elevate this to a slightly bigger level than initially deserved. 3 stooges references, JFK, Warner von braun and Nuremberg, Vietnam and all sorts of 60s. Pop culture references alongside a tributrsong to roadhouse movie.",
"title": "Pure fun with the MST crew"
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "This movie is so bad that it makes Twilight look like a masterpiece in comparison, almost all the characters are bland and show no emotion whatsoever. Even Santa has a bad personality. I don't care if you like this movie or not, that's your opinion but god I hate it",
"title": "It's like being forced to spend a holiday in hell!"
}
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{
"rating": "5",
"review": "A blast from the past... back when there were no CGI effects.. This low budget, low tech, low quality work is a reminder how funny, silly, and often stupid the old sci-fi movies were back in the '50s & '60s... I loved it ! ! !",
"title": "A Blast From The Past ! ! !"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "This movie is terrible. Its not one of the old horror / sci fi movies that you can enjoy for the ridiculous plot or how cheesy it is. This movie is not like that at all, which is what I expected when I went into it knowing no background information. This is a kind of family comedy type movie that has absolutely no redeeming qualities, it is just boring. The most boring and lame thing I have ever seen. I'm embarrassed I even finished this movie. Unless you are five years old or younger just don't waste you're time. Even if you have nothing else to do, I suggest do nothing. This movie is FAAAAR worse than sitting there doing nothing.",
"title": "The lamest movie I have ever seen"
}
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{
"rating": "5",
"review": "Soon you'll hear Ho! Ho! Ho!It is the Christmas season on earth. The Martian children are in a funk and will not eat their chocolate cake pills. Kumar (Leonard Hicks) a concerned father and a leader of the council calls upon the old man of the cave. His diagnosis is that Mars Needs a Santa, so in the interest of the children of Mars Kimar sets out to pilfer Santa (John Call.) Opposed to this attempted attitude change on a planetary scale is the curmudgeon Voldar (Vincent Beck). You cannot miss Voldar because he looks like green Groucho Marks. To add to the pathos a couple of pint-size hostages are also taken, Billy (Victor Stiles) and Betty (Donna Conforti).Is this the end of Christmas, as we know it?What is Voldar's evil plan?Is Billy & Betty doomed to drift around in space, or be captives of Mars forever?On the other hand, is it just possible that Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?Stau tuned for the solution.",
"title": "Hang up that mistletoe"
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) is a movie I recently watched with my daughter on Tubi. The storyline follows martian children who discover Santa Claus and want to steal him and bring him to Mars. They come to Earth, kidnap some children and make the children help them capture Santa Claus. The Martians are about to discover once they have Santa they may have bitten off more than they can chew.This movie is directed by Nicholas Webster (Manbeast! Myth or Monster) and stars John Call (Young Man with Ideas), Vincent Beck (Firepower), Bill McCutcheon (Steel Magnolias) and Pia Zadora (Hairspray).This is probably the worst attempt to create martians of all time. There are some funny lines here and there and Santa Claus and the children are well done and fun. The inside of the spaceships look cool though the shots of outer space...not so much. The polar bear and robot in this are hilarious.Overall, this is a very bad movie that can be a fun watch despite being poorly done. I would score this a 4/10 and recommend seeing it once.",
"title": "This is a very bad movie that can be a fun watch despite being poorly done"
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "1964's \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" was released by Joseph E. Levine's Embassy Pictures, director Nicholas Webster later at the helm for another trip to the Red Planet, 1967's \"Mission Mars.\" When the Martian leader (Leonard Hicks) decides that his children need some jolly good cheer to snap them out of their doldrums he's advised to travel to Earth in search of a Yuletide figure in a red suit and white beard located at the North Pole, but with a Santa found on virtually every street corner he finds himself in a bind. Fortunately, two earth children direct the Martians to Santa's workshop, all three kidnapped to exile on the Red Planet. Vincent Beck is the lone Martian who opposes such pointless frivolity, yet without him there would be no story and little enough amusement as it is, despite the worst looking polar bear suit ever deigned to be captured on film. Too cheap and listless to be appreciated as an inept cult film and too dull to amuse even the youngest viewers, military stock footage dragging out the running time to 80 minutes (shooting lasted 10 days in Long Island's Michael Myerberg Studios, a former aircraft hangar, surviving kiddie matinees well into the 1970s, its director still earning a $6 residual every year at Christmastime). John Call does at least look the part of Santa Claus, though his laugh needed a bit of work, and the little Martian girl is played by 10 year old Pia Zadora, who first gained a certain measure of celebrity notoriety during the early 1980s.",
"title": "Too dull to be effective camp"
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "Calling \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" 'ultra-cheap' is really paying it a compliment. It makes Ed Wood's bungled epics look well-made (and positively inspired!). Plot concerns Santa and two tykes being abducted by aliens...and that's it! No jokes, no special effects, just a pre-teen Pia Zadora in green-face. Truly abhorrent, although I have to say that theme song by Milton Delugg is kinda catchy. David L. Quaid was responsible for the cinematography (if you can call it that). Quaid later lensed \"Pretty Poison\" and Frank Perry's \"The Swimmer\", which goes to show even the most talented people have a skeleton in their closet. * from ****",
"title": "My high school allowance was more money than the producer spent on this thing!"
}
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{
"rating": "10",
"review": "There is plenty of films that get made that turn out bad. Hollywood has given us lots of mega turds. Every Adam Sandler movie is terrible. Also most films that featured a Saturday Night Live Character are most of the time laugh free. All of them cost millions and most of them could not ring a laugh out of me. Not to mention none of them have one moment that was worth remembering. This is not the case with \"Sana Claus Conquers the Martians\". It is campy but it is fun. There is plenty of memorable moments. My favorite is when the toy manufacturing machine goes haywire.In this movie the people of Mars kidnap Santa Claus so he can bring the \"Child Out\" in the children of Mars. Yes its not great cinema but it is entertainingAdults if you don't like it fine but children will. It is made for children that believe in Santa.",
"title": "Come-On everyone this Film is Fun"
}
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{
"rating": "7",
"review": "What is it with everyone being so callous towards this movie? It's all the Medved brothers fault for including it in their '50 Worst Movies Of All Time' book. Remember, they also once said that 'Grease' was the second worst movie of all-time(after 'Plan 9...'), and that Romero's 'Night Of The Living Dead' was one of the worst movies of all time. So what do they know? Look at the the simple facts; its a Christmas movie! It's a silly sci-fi romp! It's, y'know, for kids. If you're looking for Resnais, Fellini, Brakhage, Ozu etc, don't come looking for this. And therefore don't go dissing it so severely. Have some of you NO sense of humour, or any kind of 'inner-child'? Aren't there far more unworthy movies deserving of such a verbal kicking?(Gigli, Ishtar, Swept Away etc)Some of the plus-points the movie has, I would say, are; the Martian Home sets, which look like something straight out of the pages of Outre Magazine. The hilarious polar bear.....come on, admit that it makes you laugh. The Martian Mommy....a bit of a retro-chic thing going on, one for the older (male) kids. The theme song....be honest! You can't help singing along, especially when the karaoke-style lyric boards come up at the end.Obviously the Mystery Theatre version will highlight the myriad flaws the movie has, so get the original version.Hooray for Santy Claus!!Hooray for Santy Claus Conquers The Martians!!!",
"title": "Lay off all the \"World's Worst Movie\" nonsense."
}
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{
"rating": "5",
"review": "this movie is awful but completely lovable like a small child or an elderly relative or even your dad on the dance floor.it has the sophistication of a child - a quality that many movies have tried to reach.martian names are simple momar is mother martian for example.i rated it 5 as of course the technical level and script are both poor. not for pure special effect fans or lovers of strong plots. however it is a must for movie fans who love movies as an expression of humanity as it shows or simplicitygood viewing",
"title": "a must see awful movie"
}
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{
"rating": "[No Rating]",
"review": "It seems to me that everyone who has anything to say about this film always comes loaded for bear. Why? This is a fun film! It seems to be a common belief that it is a bad film. Perhaps it is . Perhaps it is also one of those guilty pleasures that people don't ever want to admit to enjoying. Yes it is bad. Yes it is astonishing that anyone would have even conceived of creating such a mind=bogglingly inane Christmas concoction. And yet....there is something irresistible about this movie. John Call plays Santa like he's had far too much egg nog. And the sudden shifts in plot and mood are more jarring than those found in more famous midnite monstrosities such as BARBARELLA. The Martians are a scream, and the sets are right out of Captain Video. The plot really isn't much different or more advanced than the Saturday morning shows many of us grew up on. No its not Citizen Kane or Schindler's List. It is so much on the other end of the spectrum that it HAS to be watched! So turn on your tv. Tune in this movie. Tune out your brain...and have fun!!!",
"title": "turn off your brain and have fun!"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "If a name like 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' doesn't ring off \"worst movie ever\" warning bells in your head, I don't know what will. This is pure schlock, start to finish.The plot? Well, the kids on Mars are raised in such a way as they reach the intellectual level of an adult when they are physically children. The current crop of kids are obsessed with 'Earth television', and the concept of Christmas. The solution to this? Well, some sneaky Martian adults kidnap Santa, and for no apparent reason, some kids from Earth, and take them all to Mars so the Martians can enjoy Christmas.Don't let the title fool you. At no point does Santa actually conquer any Martians. I'm guessing the title refers to his bringing good will to Mars. What a let down. I was hoping for some sort of war-mongering, bad-to-the-bone Santa that handed out whoop-arse instead of toys. I guess I'll have to make my own movie like that, but for now I still have this.Despite three paragraphs of negative comments, this is fairly enjoyable if you like the 'so bad that its funny' angle. The Martians don't come off as that mean, and Santa is pretty naive, a 'Jurassic Park' scientist kind of naive. The quality of the story defies description, and the special effects could be bettered by a blind chimpanzee. A drunk, blind chimpanzee. If I were an actual movie critic, I would be insulted by this and call it an abomination unto movie making. I wouldn't be surprised if a real critic had said that already, but those guys just can't have fun.1/10 - Check it if you're into B-movies. In fact, when I acquired a copy of this movie a year ago, it was 16th on IMDb's worst 100 movies. Unfortunately it has been bumped up to 27th, an insult to this fine example of awfulness.",
"title": "To quote Homer Simpson: \"Huh? What is this crap?\""
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "You want stupid? You want insane? You want awful? Then, ladies and gents, I suggest you look no further than Santa Claus Conquers the Martians! This is by all means the worst movie I've seen, even Hercules in New York looks like a masterpiece compared to this pile of manure.Santa Claus, in this case a retarded, raging alcoholic, is kidnapped by martians and along with two annoying kids played by horrible kid-actors goes to Mars to bring the Christmas spirit there.Words can't really describe how poor this movie is. The settings look like something that's been threwn down a pool of liquid plastic and then spray painted by very drunk people, the dialog is jawdropping and goes something like this:Where are you going? - Ho, ho, ho! - Is that all you can say? - Ho, ho, ho!As for the actors, I bet everyone was high when they made this. Especially Santa, who laughs in every sentence.Awful ideas, made in the most awful of ways by and with awful people.1/10",
"title": "I knew acid was a common drug in the 60's but this is ridiculous."
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "This \"Christmas classic\" is anything but, although TNT and a couple of other cable networks have decided to make it traditional. Gee, that and colorization: someone go over and burn Ted Turner's mansion down, please. Nobody can act in this, John Call makes a hideous Santa, but you can get chuckles watching Leonard Hicks do his Charlton Heston impersonation. The F/X are worthy of a elementary school pageant, and each plot point is spelled out in excruciating detail. Brain-dead items like the characters' names (Kimar = King Martian, Girmar - Girl Martian, Momar = Mom Martian) just add to the excruciating pain.",
"title": "Is there a \"0\" rating available?"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "With a theme song of \"Hurray for Santee Claus\", Pia Zadora and water heater tubing on football helmets---this has the makings of one of the worst films in cinematic history.Never has such a wonderful holiday like Christmas been abused by the lack of a real film budget like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (SCCM). I'm surprised that the cast of SCCM didn't pay to be in this cinematic suppository.Please, if you have any decency, never submit children, or anyone for that matter, to this painful, boring, and campy film.If someone gives you this as a gift, offer to have burial at sea if they hold open the toilet lid.",
"title": "Anything with Pia Zadora in it must be a stink burger..."
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "For years, I thought this film was produced in Japan by the same folks who did \"Godzilla\" in the 60's.For years every Christmas, I asked Santa Claus to destroy this film and keep Independent hometown channels for showing it.That's when I realized there WASN'T a Santa Claus. They continued to show this tripe.I guess in 1964 they thought kids would like this. Now don't get me wrong. I am of the generation that was reared on \"Astro-Boy\", \"Ultra-Man\", \"Space Giants\" and several Sinbad Movies as well as \"Jason and the Argonauts\" but this was just utterly stupid.It's not that the \"idea\" was bad..Mars inhabitants (silly adult ones at that) kidnapping Santa..actually it took YEARS for the idea to be done correctly and with the right factors such as \"South Park\" did with a little parody on \"Black Hawk Down\" and several other factors. This was just so stupid. As a five year old child, I turned the channel on this tripe. The sets were cheap, they were painted green...all that was missing was Santa taking out a bottle of \"ThunderBird\" liquor holding it up to his lips and proclaiming \"Merry Christmas to all and to all, a good night\". Actually that would have been more entertaining.Take it from me, there is NOTHING nostalgic about seeing this film years later if you're of the generation that had to be put through this on TV like I was. Save your children, don't show them this unless you want to punish them.But...Hmmm...come to think of it..making them watch this film is actually better punishment instead of putting them in a corner for a \"time out\".",
"title": "Hooray For San-ty Claus!! Kill me now."
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "I am so thankful that as a child I never got to see this awful film. Yeah, they showed it on TV quite a few times but I never saw it until I was an adult. This is very fortunate, as if I had seen it years ago, it probably would have ruined Christmas and had me hating good old Saint Nick!The children of Mars are depressed. An old sage suggests this is because they don't have Christmas on Mars, so the solution is to kidnap Santa and bring him back to live on this annoying planet. As they approach and then leave Earth, we are greeted with copious amounts of stock air force footage--sure to completely bore the kids unfortunate enough to be watching the film. Along with Santa, they kidnap a couple Earth kids who apparently can't read their lines very well.Back on Mars, the kids are thrilled but our two adorable(?) human kids and Santa are miserable. The kids because they miss their parents and because they can't stand the movie, and Santa because in the push button world of Mars he really has nothing to do. In the end, the Martians decide to send them all back because they realize that a mentally deranged Martian named Dropo wants to be the new Martian Santa. He's really annoying and I wanted him to die, but apparently that is the sort of Santa the Martian kids want. Maybe they also wanted him because the guy playing Santa in the film is a real \"winner\"--laughing for absolutely no reason every second he's in the film--much like a guy who is on LSD!The acting, plot and sets are completely awful--Ed Wood quality bad! I can't see how ANY kid would have liked this film, but for adults it's going to provide some unintentional laughs!PS--The annoying music unfortunately is pretty catchy--and I mean that in a bad way. Later, after the film ended, I found the annoying theme song going on in my head again and again! Uggh!!Wanna hear a joke? Did you hear the one about the dyslexic devil worshiper who accidentally sold his soul to Santa? I threw in this lame joke because it probably provided MORE laughs than this sad flick!",
"title": "a textbook example of how NOT to make a movie!"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "The children of Mars are unhappy. It seems they want a Santa Claus but don't have one! So some guys from Mars kidnap Santa (and two annoying kids) to bring joy and happiness to the Martian children. It works but they make it clear that Santa is going to stay in Mars...forever. Trust me--this plays even worse than it sounds!A now classic bad movie. I actually caught this on TV when I was about 6 or 7. Even at that young age I realized the film was HORRIBLE! But it was so badly done you can't stop watching. The basic plot itself is ridiculous--even for a kids movie. All the Martians are green (!!!) and wear stupid helmets. The two Earth kids are played by the two most annoying child actors you'll ever see. The special effects are hysterically bad. The Martian spaceship is obviously a toy and wait till you see the polar bear (very obviously a guy in a bad suit) and the robot bought out to kidnap Santa. When I first saw it I broke out laughing (remember--I was 7 and still found it stupid). The dialogue is terrible and--worst of all--there's a SONG called \"Hooray for Santy Claus\" that will have you wishing you were deaf!The acting doesn't help. Leonard Hicks plays Kimar--a good Martian. He's not bad but (understandably) looks embarrassed by being in this. Vincent Beck plays Voldar--the evil Martian. He's pretty terrible. Victor Stiles and Donna Conforti play Billy and Betty--the Earth kids. Their acting is so bad it defies belief. John Call plays Santa and he's CONSTANTLY laughing! My guess is he was drunk or actually read the script! Worst of all (and that's saying something) is Bill McCutcheon playing Dropo--the \"comic\" relief. He spends most of the movie acting stupid and overacting. Needless to say none of it is even remotely funny! Also Pia Zadora has her first role here (as one of the Martian kids). So yeah, it's terrible but it IS harmless for kids--but even they'll find it stupid! A 1 all the way.\"We don't want to hurt you Santa Claus so come along quietly.\"",
"title": "Absolutely the WORST Christmas movie ever...so it's a must-see!"
}
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{
"rating": "10",
"review": "This film is not that bad. It is weird but for what it is it works wonders. To me this film was part of the annual must see movies when it popped up on television during Christmas. Yes the plot is silly. The acting silly but you know what \"I still enjoy this film\" because at the end of the day it still told a story and it entertained me.Now the lo frills special effects help makes this film charming. It is very sad that this film is in the public domain. Which means everybody can release this film on DVD also there is no money that can be made from a restoration which this film sadly needs.If you don't know the story in a nutshell:Martian ruler Kimar (Leonard Hicks) is upset that the children of Mars are lazy and under the influence of too much pop culture from Earth. They are obsessed with the planet's television programs and don't want to do much of anything. In an attempt to get the kids peppy again, Kimar orders the kidnapping of Santa Claus (John Call), hoping that the jolly old toy maker will know how to cheer the children up again. But two Earth children are also nabbed, and this complicates things for Kimar.",
"title": "Why the Hate?"
}
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{
"rating": "7",
"review": "+5 if you watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 or Cinematic Titanic version.",
"title": "Watch MST3k version."
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "This movie, though poorly made, does have an endearing quality to it that peeks through all the zaniness. Through all the oddness, you can still sense a true \"Christmas spirit\" about it. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians combines a typical 50's-mid 60's B-movie obsession with UFOs with a typical TV Christmas movie feel. One of the things that sticks out about the movie for me was that it didn't portray the Martians as the usual \"evil, murderous aliens\" they usually were in B-movies of this time period (well, except for Voldar). Their desire to make their children happy is what leads them to kidnap Santa Claus. Santa seems more than willing to help out the Martians, even running the toy shop without complaining. All is well at the end for everybody- Santa and the earth children go home, the evil Voldar is humiliated and defeated, and Droppo is inaugurated as Mars' very own Santa Claus. Overall, a decidedly weird but ultimately enjoyable movie.",
"title": "Very odd, pure mid-1960's"
}
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{
"rating": "[No Rating]",
"review": "S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S Hooray for Santy ClausThe best science fiction film ever made in Queens, N.Y. opens up with a theme song no one who watches will ever forget. I had Santa Claus as a spelling word in second grade and remembering the song was like having an ace in the hole for that test. The Martian children are depressed about Christmas and their lack of presents. The King, Kimar, ventures out to confide with the old man in the Martian caves. Of course he points Kimar in the right direction before suffering a severe case of spontaneous combustion. Puff! The Martian's complexion is ruddy and they resemble the Klingons from \"Star Trek\". Voldar is the villain because he has a mustache and doesn't follow orders. I think Voldar's bad attitude is terrific. He also has more wisdom than the elder who is older than dirt. The crazy headgear makes little sense and their weaponry--the wham-o guns--are a laugh riot. Dropo is strictly present for comic relief. Kimar's wife is a handsome Martian female but doesn't do much but dole out food pills. The art direction is note worthy--especially a water sculpture at Kimar's residence and the alien landscape of the planet. The interior of the ship is okay and the special effects competent. I also like Santa's workshop and that wild polar bear with the zipper up his back. The reporter has a strange response:\"Wow we wow\" when he catches a glimpse of a Martian doll. This is a cool stocking stuffer for the adult as well as the child.",
"title": "All this fuss over a fat little man in a red suit."
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "Oh dear! As misguided family movies go, they don't come much more misguided than Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. A meagre budget does not necessarily spell doom for a film (check out some of Mario Bava's films, for instance, which had little money behind them but still emerged pretty good on the whole), but in this case the lack of funding is evident in almost every frame. The whole film is a desperately sad attempt to make a movie for kids and adults to enjoy together β kids are likely to be hugely unimpressed by the lame comedy and boring story, while adults will be depressed by the woeful acting, production values and plot. One critic wrote: \"frankly, I am ashamed to be from the same species as the people who made this movie\". Which sums it up. Perfectly.On Mars, the Martian children are acting strangely. They seem lethargic and depressed; Martian leader Kimar (Leonard Hicks) notices that his own kids are especially gloomy, and wonders if their obsession with tuning into Earth TV programmes is affecting them. The Martian leadership council summon a wise old elder to ask what he thinks is wrong with the kids. The elder (Carl Don) says that the Martian kids are not allowed to play, to have fun, to be young-at-heart, etc, and this, coupled with the fact that it is almost Christmas time on Earth, is making them unhappy. By watching so many Earth shows, they are learning all about Santa Claus and festive spirit, and feel like they're missing out. Kimar decides to take a unit of men to Earth to kidnap Santa (John Call) and bring him back to Mars to cheer up the children. They accidentally end up capturing Billy (Victor Stiles) and Betty (Donna Conforti), a couple of Earth children, as well as old Saint Nick himself. Trouble beckons when Martian subordinate Voldar (Vincent Beck), who has been vociferously opposed to the plan from the word go, tries to sabotage the mission by doing harm to Santa and the two Earth children.The sets wobble and bounce, the outfits look ultra-cheap and unintentionally funny, the make-up is pitiful (towards the end the green Martian make-up must have almost run out as the Martians look nearly whiteΒ
unless there's a whole racist subtext at work?), and the performances are roundly terrible. Don as the elder is so awful, adopting a croaky drawl which makes him sound like a constipated cockerel, that the audience is reduced to guffaws during his scene. The others fare little better (Stiles and Conforti are wooden as the Earth kids; Call chuckles away inanely as Santa; and Bill McCutheon as comic relief character Dropo is so irritating one wishes one could strangle him and quietly dispose of him in the space garbage!) At least Hicks and Beck try to give interesting performances as bickering Martians, although the dumb dialogue defeats their efforts. Worst of all is the utter deadly dullness of the film. I literally cannot watch this movie in a horizontal position β I attempted to view it twice in bed, and was sound asleep both times within mere minutes. In the end I stood up and watched the movie whilst ironing to make sure I stayed awake. That bad, you ask? You bet ya!",
"title": "Cheap, boring and frequently inept family \"entertainment\" β doctors could recommend this movie as a cure for insomnia!"
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS is regarded as one of the worst films ever made, a cheapjack 1964 effort mixing Christmas legend with outer-space peril. In many ways it's a throwback to the pulp adventures of the 1930s, with ol' Father Christmas himself taking on the role of the heroic saviour out to thwart a Martian plot.The only reason this is regarded as one of the worst films ever made is because was featured on various spoof shows such as MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 and RIFFTRAX. Watching it free of all that nonsense, it's certainly nowhere near the bottom; it's a cheap and trashy film, just the way we like them. It's worth remembering that this story is aimed at kids and kids alone, kids who won't be worried by the cardboard scenery and ham acting.The storyline is fast paced even though it doesn't make much sense. The laws of physics don't seem to apply in this film's universe. The characters are larger than life and the children invariably annoying, but I thought the Martian themselves were a hoot, what with their rubbery costumes and boot polish-smeared faces. The exaggerated line delivery is a lot of fun too. SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS is a bad film, but crucially it's a fun one too and certainly never boring.",
"title": "Cheap 'n' trashy"
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "Immortalized on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" is sometimes included in lists of the worst movies of all time. Does it deserve this dubious distinction? I would say \"no\"; compared to the bombs skewered on MST3K such as \"Manos: The Hands of Fate\" or \"Monster A Go-Go,\" \"Santa Claus\" comes off relatively well. For one thing, those responsible for this movie appear to have been able to operate a camera and microphones in a reasonably competent way, which already places it on a higher plane than some movies. So, this is definitely not one of the worst ever.That said, \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\" is nevertheless a abysmally bad movie. How bad? Well, let me put it this way: imagine the corniest, cheesiest, most broadly overacted and painfully unfunny '60s-era sitcom you might have had the misfortune to catch on Nick at Nite or TV Land some evening (I am talking \"Gilligan's Island\"-level bad). Now imagine a movie that makes that sitcom look like \"The Wire\" in comparison. This should give you some idea of how tediously stupid \"Santa Claus\" is.Of the various players in this monstrosity, probably the one who escapes with at least a shred of dignity is Victor Stiles, who plays one of the two kids from Earth. Stiles brings at least a little conviction and naturalness to his role (although he also probably benefits from being one of the few cast members who does not have to wear a ridiculous costume of some kind).By contrast, the worst player in \"Santa Claus\" is, without a doubt, Bill McCutcheon as the Martian Dropo (although John Call's creepy Santa Claus gives him a run for his money). The \"comic relief\" in this mess, Dropo will make you long for the charm and wit of Jar Jar Binks.Do not even think about watching this without the MST3K (or Cinematic Titanic) commentary. Trust me, you will regret it.",
"title": "Abysmal"
}
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{
"rating": "3",
"review": "This strong contender for the title of the \"All-Time Worst Movie\" is, typically, not as painful to watch as it has been played up to be over the years; having just watched its earlier Mexican counterpart SANTA CLAUS (1959) which I recently acquired in tandem, it was a given that I was going to get to this one too before this year was out. Anyway, the plot calls for Martian children to be 'hypnotized' by earthly TV channels and getting particularly depressed at Christmas-time because, unlike their fellow earthlings, they have no Santa ClausΒ
so, the head honcho of the Red Planet (a Michael Gough-look-a-like) decides to kidnap St. Nick (constantly letting off belly-laughs, as played by John Call) to cheer up his kids! Predictably, this plan is opposed by a trio of bumbling villains (led by a heavily-whiskered loser) who sabotage Santa's mechanical Martian toy factory and, eventually, capture the wrong Father Christmas (since, inevitably, the planet's leading comic relief β a would-be amiable idiot β dons on the red cloak to try out for the role which is vacated once Santa β and two earthly kids who were abducted with him β are transported back to their world). There is not much that I can add except to say that a credited but unrecognizable Pia Zadora apparently plays one of the Martians; while the film is, relatively speaking, livelier than the afore-mentioned SANTA CLAUS, the latter displays a more florid imagination; the odd Martian attire seems to be an amusing precursor to the much-later one worn by the dreaded Teletubbies; and, best of all, the children's ditty \"Hooray For Santy Claus\" proves to be an awfully catchy tune!!",
"title": "SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (Nicholas Webster, 1964) *1/2"
}
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{
"rating": "4",
"review": "Wow! Lots of parents throwing negative review bombs without considering the 1964 social context. Well, they can now treat children to the MCU's CGI gore fest productions. Moreover video games to the likes of Call of Duty, Mafia II and Assassins Creed. Given that child entertainment and quality of life have evolved simultaneously.",
"title": "KeviKev"
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "This film is best viewed of a Christmas afternoon, with a heap of drunken friends...SBS TV in Australia featured it a few times as part of their regular 'Cult Classics' which included all those old movies which did not fit mainstream, but which you wanted to see for nostalgia's sake. Pia Zadora starred as a Martian child. A few years later, whilst playing the part of Anne Frank on stage, she was so bad, that when the German troopers arrived, the audience shouted '...she's in the attic...' This film does not, however, rank up there with the 60's Godzilla and Gamera movies, which really had a style of their own. The film would have been better if Martin the (Looney Tunes) Martian were cast. At least then we would have had a better array of effects and a more realistic storyline.",
"title": "Best viewed Christmas afternoon"
}
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{
"rating": "2",
"review": "\"Santa Claus Conquers The Martians\" is one of the most popular bad movies ever made. One earlier comment here, defending the film, noted this popularity and said, in effect, \"If it's so bad, how come people are still watching it 40 years later?\"Good question. I think it begs another question: Is it possible to make a film so bad it actually becomes good?Not if this is any proof. SCCTM is just bad. Really bad. Bad sets, bad acting, bad direction, bad music, bad costumes (or \"custumes\" as the credits read), bad everything.The idea of the story holds some goofy promise. On the planet Mars, children are sad, and in order to cheer them up, their caring Martian parents kidnap Santa from Earth. Santa arrives, bringing Christmas cheer along with a couple of Earth kids who help show their Martian counterparts how to have a good time. Naturally, there's one Martian who doesn't think all this merry making is so great (it's turning his people into \"Martian-mellows\"), so he sets out to stop it.Fine. You know what kind of picture this is. Questions of astrophysical relativity and the available military response to Martian encroachment are really out-of-place. This is a film to watch with a five-year-old, toddlers even, and get whatever enjoyment you can through them. Children's films can be good, great even, when they are served up with the right amount of humor, care, and passion, like any other film.But the film fails so miserably that you just cringe at the idea of an audience of any age sitting through it. The broad overacting of Dropo (Bill McCutcheon did forge a decent acting career after this, including a Tony and a memorable role in the under-appreciated \"Mr. Destiny\") sets a low bar the other players limbo right along after. Even Voldar's wacky assistants ham it up, pulling faces in every scene no matter who's speaking like they need Ritalin. I don't know if the actor playing Santa was drunk while making this movie, as some posters here say. I can only hope so.There's unintentional comedy abounding, like the \"bear\" that sniffs out Billy and Betty near the North Pole and Kimar (Leonard Hicks must be Martian-speak for the word \"stiff\") stepping on one of the children actors' lines. Normally it's not nice to make fun of bad acting by children, but even if these kids hadn't grown up long ago, it would seem necessary to make an exception. They clearly didn't belong in front of a camera. What's that you say, there's a famous future actor in the bunch? Oh, yeah, Elliott Gould as Voldar, right. I spotted him right away. Actually, the only kid who even could read lines was Billy, and his monotone delivery is pretty much the gold standard for the tykes and adults alike.I watched the \"Mystery Science Theater 3000\" version of this movie, and I laughed and had fun. I always wanted to see this film, especially in December, and MST3K was the way to go. But I really, really mostly just wanted the movie to end. I felt sorry for these poor people on screen, left adrift by their producer, writer, and director, trying to be entertaining and just embarrassing themselves. I thought of all the ways the creators could have freshened up the story, thrown in some genuine interaction between the Martian kids and the Earth children, that might get a young viewer to care. Finally, I tried to enjoy it as a kitchy spectacle, but when the film doesn't care enough to take itself seriously, the point is lost.Like Huey Lewis said, sometimes bad is bad. SCCTM is awful.",
"title": "When does bad cross over to good?"
}
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{
"rating": "10",
"review": "Every year on Christmas Eve me and my friend exchange strange gifts with each other. Last Christmas I gave him a bike with no wheels and he gave me a video which his grand-dad gave to him once upon a time. The video was called, \"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians\", I instantly thought \"omdays I so have to watch this!\", and I did. I was hooked. SANTA VS. ET = $$$. This movie would be the wet dream for any movie watching fanboy, as I reiterate, this is SANTA VS MARTIANS for God sake! How can you NOT want to watch this and NOT like it?Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a brilliant film made for the brilliant mind. Simple brains can't comprehend the beauty and raw voice that it embodies. People who say \"I don't get it\" or \"it was boring\" just wouldn't know a good film if it came and whacked them upside the a**.",
"title": "Santa Conquers ALL"
}
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{
"rating": "7",
"review": "I watched this when I was 6 (1969). It was back when there were only a couple channels to choose from in Houston. It really is a cute, fun movie. Yes, it is a low, low budget film but that just adds to the memory.",
"title": "Wonderful memories!"
}
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{
"rating": "1",
"review": "Yes, you read that title right. Ho Ho Homicide. Mainly because after seeing this crap, I felt like committing homicide.I don't know when you're sleeping, I don't know when you're awake, but I know when a movie's been bad or good, so don't watch this for goodness sake. The plot is basically that the children of Mars are too serious and adult-like for their own good, so the ruler of Mars has to go kidnap Santa Claus from Earth to teach their children to laugh at the advice of an 800-year-old Martian on crack who explodes in and out of reality. They also pick up two Earthling children as well on their raid of doom named Billy and Betty (creative names, huh?). They take the threesome back to Mars and they begin to make toys. Along the way they inform Santa he can never return to Earth, although they feel sympathetic towards the children. The bad guy, who hates laughter and fun sabotages the toy factory by snipping wires (a master plan, no?) and a strange fight scene ensues between the plucky youngsters and the cruel and vindictive Martians.I saw this after buying it for a dollar at my grocery store, thinking it strange and bizarre at best. After seeing it, I learned from my doctor I now only have one kidney, lung, and eyeball and my spleen has to be removed from my body due to the intense radiation poisoning I received from watching the movie. My brother suffered chest and brain hemorrhage.Okay, I was exaggerating, but despite the creative plot and loony cast (including probably-mentally handicapped Martian Droppo, possibly the best worst character since Torgo and a family composed of Momar the mom, Bomar the boy, and Girmar the girl) things could have been better. I was truly shocked to learn this was produced in the 1960s. I was actually thinking it may have been from the 1940s. I will list below some of the best (and occasionally funniest) parts of the movie.The best part is probably the fight scene. Betty, Billy, Bomar, and Girmar attack the evil fun-loving Martian with toys, some of which attack with furies of their own, such as a legion of toy soldiers and a tank. The horrible camera views and terrible music, backed up with Santa laughing like a severely deranged maniac in the background, made me both scream in terror at the thought that this was made by a human and laughing for the same reason. By the way, Santa makes horrible jokes and laughs at the most inappropriate moments throughout the film (such as walking into a room laughing like a goon for no reason and laughing for about 10 minutes), as well as smokes a bubble pipe, although I doubt that those are soap bubbles coming from the pipe. Another great scene is when Billy and Betty are at the North Pole and are attacked by a \"polar bear\" which is the crappiest suit since the \"mutant\" suit from Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (which was different as that was intentional). When one of them pointed saying \"Look!\" I have to admit I was expecting a wampa to attack. Also, there is a killer robot shown on the cover, which gets about five minutes of screen time, as it is \"turned into a toy\" by Santa's mystical superpowers and completely forgotten.All in all, this is far from the \"heartwarming children's tale\" it set itself up to be. The actors are on drugs and there are too many parts were the plot makes no sense. When you watch, try not to shout, try not to cry, try not to scream, 'cause I've told you why.",
"title": "Ho Ho Homicide!"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "[No Rating]",
"review": "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is the film equivalent of a butter sculpture. At first glance, it's cheesy and kitchy, but if you really take the time to get into it, you realize that it's strangely cool. Furthermore, even though you mock it, you realize you could never do it. The film is great for kids in that it's silly, but totally over the top (i.e., the frantic ramblings of Frau Klaus). Oddly enough, the scenes are for the most part wonderfully framed and shot, and although they are eclipsed by the more wonderfully shot military stock footage, (including, apparently, some footage also used in Dr. Strangelove!) show off that wonderfully colourful colour typical of sixties films. Also, the theme song is disturbingly catchy (when we hear sleigh bells ring....) As a final note, just remember: without movies like these, there could have been no John Waters.",
"title": "An Under-appreciated Film."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "1",
"review": "I never thought a film would be this bad but it is. The film about Martians kidnapping Santa Claus and a couple of human kids to Mars. The Martian costumes are the worst I ever seen almost camp for words. I don't know how the cast did this film without cracking up. Except for Pia Zadora, I don't know anybody in the cast. The Martian costume is more funny than terrifying like a Saturday Night Live sketch. This film was done before we knew Mars was uninhabitable and before USA went into space. The kid actors are fine but still this film is perhaps one of the worst films ever made and perhaps the worst Christmas film of all time.",
"title": "It's truly awful!"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "3",
"review": "Now granted for the most part this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Watching this movie makes one contemplate suicide. However, this movie is worth watching for one reason and one reason only. In the end Santa goes insane. He's not supposed to, but I think the the actor who played him went nuts starring in this bad of a movie and lost it. It's one of the funnier things I have ever seen. So check it out.",
"title": "bad movie...but it is worth seeing"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "1",
"review": "I am trying to imagine a room full of Suits screening this movie and approving it for release.The stupid theme song is annoyingly catchy. I'll probably be humming it for weeks.This was amusing and fun, and I really liked the adult Martian headgear, part of which looks amazingly akin to the flexible gas pipe that connects my clothes dryer to the supply line.There are far worse movies than this. The worst movie I've ever seen was Nukie, every minute of which was pure pain. If you really like BAD movies, check out Nukie...but you must make it to the ending, which is truly worth it.",
"title": "Awesomely bad - but harmless. A good party movie."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "5",
"review": "Hey, those Martians are entitled to have a Santa Claus too! Don't believe all the hype about this being such a horrible film, there are far worse. This is a great day-after-Christmas movie to eat your leftovers to. You know you're gonna have a wild ride when you hear the opening theme song. The story and the acting are ludicrous, but anybody who rents this already knows it's not Shakespeare. Not for the \"art\" crowd.On scale measuring outrageous humor, a 5.",
"title": "When You're Not In The Mood For \"A Christmas Story\"....."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "2",
"review": "There are 3 reasons to see this film. 1. To see the acting debut of Pia Zadora as a green Martin girl (realize even talented actresses get started with terrible roles). 2. To see if this really one of the worst movie of all time (and if you can watch the whole movie in one sitting you are very brave) 3. To relive your childhood (realize that while most things have gotten worse, this movie is a reminder that not everything was wonderful in the 1960's.) This is movie, is a Political Correct person's dream, there is no violence, a happy ending, up beat songs, and exteressitals,Santa Claus, children are portrayed in a positive manner. Other than the movie is plain awful.",
"title": "Cult classic or a trip down neurotic memory lane."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "1",
"review": "It is possible to get a high quality version of this, on DVD, though the one I got(cheap, don't worry) had no features, apart from a chapter selection. This basically only works as a \"so bad it's good\" kind of thing. How does it suck, you ask? Let me count thee ways: The colors and lighting are hideous and straining. It's soaked to the bone in sweetness, and so thoroughly and consistently ridiculous that there is a genuine chance of viewers getting diabetes and ending up stark raving mad from witnessing this. Almost all of the \"humor\" is painful. I'm not entirely sure how many of the attempts at putting a set-up and a punchline together I would go so far as to actually call \"jokes\". Gags almost invariably crash and burn. A little bit of the slapstick is perhaps not completely hopeless. The majority of the laughs this garners are unintentional. Once this realizes that it might hold the potential to make a point, it continues to mercilessly beat the audience over the head with it, until, presumably, the writers forgot about it. No, I honestly would not expect much from anyone who, during the Cold War, would take the words \"nuclear\" and \"curtain\", and put them together to mean something harmful of great power, in the script for a *family movie*. This can only be appreciated as anything \"serious\" by children, and the kids would still need to be of limited and/or impaired mental capacity. The acting is nonexistent. The pacing is decent. The developments are utterly unimaginative and predictable. The plot details how Santa, here portrayed as a gullible moron who couldn't get himself out of even the tiniest trouble unless inactivity was enough to accomplish that, is abducted by Martians, for the benefit of their offspring, who have clearly learned how to e-nun-ci-ate. The MST3K of this does hold hilarity, but it's not their best. There is no sex, violence or language. I recommend this to fans of B-rate flicks and all who enjoy their sides splitting at the things the creators of this did not mean to be funny. Now, can someone tell me how to treat the reek of cheese this left? 1/10",
"title": "All I want for Christmas is for these 80-some minutes to be removed from my memory"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "2",
"review": "It is as if someone has taken a a short story written by a tn year old kid, converted it into a script without fleshing it out in the slightest, then turned it into a feature length children's TV show. The plot is utterly ridiculous, the dialog has as much depth to it as puddle and the characters are as well rounded as a piece of cardboard. Speaking of cardboard, part of the sets look very much like painted cardboard and the costumes hold are on the same level, it' only he stock footage of the air-force that holds any kind of quality. My guess is that this was a low budget film quickly put together without much thought for anything. With that in mind, it's amazing that it doesn't do worse because all in all, Santa's constant mirth is the only annoying thing about this movie, the rest is just dull which is a lesser crime than right out bad.",
"title": "Dull and childish"
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "8",
"review": "That it is hilariously good fun. With a plot simple enough for a three year old to grasp there is nothing to follow, nothing to think about, and nothing to remember. You just watch. Personally I think this is camp at its best. Some things are Cult Classics not because they're good but because they are just so bad you can't help but love the ugly puppy. This dog is about as ugly as you can get. But, hey, its for Christmas. Christmas is pretty homely too after the tree and wrappings have been thrown into the burn pile out back. Acting? Sound track? Continuity? Plot? Character development? Photography? Choreography? It is to laugh ... Ho, ho, ho. Which is exactly what makes it so much fun. Especially if you're three years old.",
"title": "This thing is so bad ..."
}
|
tt0058548
|
{
"rating": "7",
"review": "The other reviewer wanted to watch a Christmas movie with redeeming qualities. There are plenty of those out there. This movie falls into a vastly different category: it belongs in the \"Ed Wood-style Camp\" genre, subset \"Christmas Camp.\" If you can't stop watching \"Plan 9 from Outer Space\" because of the effects and the acting, you will have to make this film part of your Christmas tradition. It is NOT a horror film, but it has the same science fiction feel as \"Plan 9,\" and the music is the crowning glory of the amusing dreadfulness of this 80-minute foray into \"what were they thinking?\" So, don't show this to your kids as part of your cycle of Christmas flicks (though they may get the joke as well). Watch it with your friends with a glass of high-octane egg nog handy and laugh your head off.",
"title": "if you don't see it as serious art..."
}
|
End of preview.
Dataset Card for IMDb Multi-Movie Review Dataset
Dataset Summary
The IMDb Multi-Movie Review Dataset contains approximately 114,000 user reviews collected from over 150 movies on IMDb.
Each movie is stored as a separate JSON file, identified by its movie_id (IMDb ID).
Each JSON file includes a list of structured reviews, where every review consists of:
title: A short summary or headline of the review.review: The full detailed user review.rating: A numeric rating (1β10) as a string.
This dataset supports tasks like sentiment analysis, rating prediction, and text summarization in the domain of movie reviews across multiple genres and time periods.
Supported Tasks and Leaderboards
- Sentiment Classification: Predict sentiment from the review text. Can be used with custom or soft labels.
- Rating Classification/Regression: Predict a 1β10 score from the review text.
- Summarization: Generate a short title-style summary (
title) from the full review (review).
Languages
All reviews are written in English.
Dataset Structure
Each JSON file follows this format:
{
"movie_id": "tt0085750",
"reviews": [
{
"title": "Mediocre, but Oscar worthy compared to part IV.",
"review": "Saw this one in all its 3D glory in the theater back in 1983...",
"rating": "5"
}
]
}
π§ Load Dataset (from Hugging Face Hub)
from datasets import load_dataset
dataset = load_dataset("Daksh0505/IMDB-Reviews")
print(dataset['train'][0])
Citation (Please add if you use this dataset)
@misc{imdb-multimovie-reviews,
title = {IMDb Multi-Movie Review Dataset},
author = {Daksh Bhardwaj},
year = {2025},
url = {https://huggingface.co/datasets/Daksh0505/IMDB-Reviews
note = {Accessed: 2025-07-17}
}
π Dataset URL: https://huggingface.co/datasets/Daksh0505/IMDB-Reviews
π Try the Live Demo
Click below to test both models live in your browser that are were trained on this dataset:
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