The Weekend Blog | I got my steroids!
My last Weekend Blog post was titled "A tough couple of weeks". I feel the need to extend this to "A tough month".
Let me take you back to last week. I went back to work on the Tuesday, after being off on Bank Holiday Monday, and by lunch time I was back at home. I don't know what happened. I felt so overwhelmed with sadness that I couldn't stop crying at work. I wasn't getting any work done in the mood I was in, so I ended up going home and taking the rest of the week off.
I felt dreadful. My mental health was a complete mess. I thought that taking those two days off when my Nan died would sort me out, but they didn't. But I think the way I felt was more than just grief. 2017 has been such a weird year for me so far, and I've not really taken much time for myself to process what's being going on.
I clearly need a holiday, but I'm just going to hang on until August when we go to New York. Life is about to get very hectic (all will be explained soon!) so I don't have time to get away before New York. Maybe we can squeeze in a night away or something, but I certainly won't be jetting off anywhere just yet.
So yes, anyway, I took the rest of last week off to look after myself, and then on Saturday Tyrone and I decided to go to the British Music Experience exhibition which is currently on at the Cunard Building in Liverpool. There's a blog post all about it coming your way next week, so stay tuned for that, but I definitely recommend you pop along if you're in Liverpool anytime.
On Sunday morning I drove back to Shropshire and on Monday I attended my Nan's funeral. It was a pleasant service, and very personal. I drove back to Liverpool in the evening ready to head back to work the following day.
I was apprehensive about going back to work after having so much time off, but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Everyone at work was so lovely and understanding. I can't begin to explain just how grateful I am to have supportive people around me when my mental health isn't at its best.
On Friday, I had another steroid injection into my hip; my first one in 13 months! I was getting a bit stressed out because I didn't know who would be able to give me steroids after I moved to a different GP surgery when we moved to the Wirral. I found out that the doctor who was giving the injections at the surgery had left, but she was returning every now and then to give these injections, so I requested to be added to the waiting list.
I finally got offered an appointment but unfortunately it wasn't convenient for me. Any other day would have been fine but the day they offered me was Monday; the day of my Nan's funeral. They said they didn't know when the next available appointment would be after than and I got pretty upset. I started to worry about whether or not I'd get my steroids before going to New York because, lets be honest, I'm going to be doing a lot of walking on that holiday, and I need all the strength I can get.
Anyway, they called me back on Monday and asked if I was available for Friday. Of course, it was a bit short notice, but I arranged to have my injection at lunch time on Friday so I could work from home in the afternoon. Again, I'm so grateful to work with such understanding people.
I was apprehensive about having a different doctor give me my injection this time around, but fortunately she was absolutely lovely. She listened to me when I explained how my previous doctor had injected the steroids, and chatted to me throughout the procedure to keep me calm. She must have noticed me squeezing the life out of pillow! Honestly, it was the most painful one yet, but no pain, no gain, am I right?!
I popped out to do some shopping this morning and my hip felt absolutely fine when walking, but it's still a little bit tender to touch, and I still can't lie on it. But fingers crossed it has worked because I really need something positive to happen in my life right now.
I'm really sorry about how you've been feeling recently Holly. It makes me sad knowing that you've been feeling this way recently and with the tough week hitting you had it's no wonder. I am so happy that your workplace has been able to be super understanding about this all. it sounds like you work with an amazing bunch of people. I know that when I was really depressed and sad last summer, I had to take days off too and my workplace was the most supportive group ever. In fact, I don't think I could've gotten over my fall without them. I love them and appreciate them so much <3 I'm so glad you have that positive community of people around you.
I'm glad to hear that you finally got a steroid injection! That does sound painful but you are strong! <3 I applaud you everyday for it Holly 🙂 You totally deserve that holiday to NYC – so excited for you!!
Thank you for your support Pauline. Fortunately I had a really good weekend last week and it's really picked up my spirits.
Aww thank you! I cannot wait to go to NYC and I'm sure these steroids are going to get me through the week.
Sounds like you have a hard time. When I am like this, I would go for a day trip. We can't have long holidays, so means we only go on holiday in UK and for only a few days at a time. A day trip is a really fun thing to plan, it's cheap and it's relaxing.
I had the same sort of issue with my mental health a couple of weeks back. I woke up in the morning, and I just burst into tears and I couldn't bring myself to work. Coping with setbacks of my alopecia hasn't helped. I honestly couldn't stop crying, so I know exactly how you feel. It's so overwhelming, and I was saying to myself, "What is wrong with you? Get a grip!" Had to take the rest of the week off too.
It's so good that you have a supportive workplace – I think that's the most important thing to have at your work, people that understand! You definitely deserve that holiday to NYC – can't wait to see all your photos, etc. You and Pauline are making me want to go back SO badly!
Sorry to hear about how you've been feeling, Holly. Hope you're feeling a bit better now. It's good that work is so understanding, I know a lot of places wouldn't. While I was at a previous workplace, my Grandad died and I got told if I took the funeral off I'd need to do another shift instead, which was really cold IMO. So glad I don't work in retail anymore. Luckily I work in such a lovely place now, and they're so unbelievably understanding!
It's great that you managed to get an appointment for your steroid injection. Hope the pain is better by now. That can't be nice to deal with.