Practical help for family caregivers: hope, transportation and managing medications.
Did your mom teach you to "do what the doctor says"? If she's not following doctor's orders for medications now, you're probably feeling confused. And concerned.
"It won't do anything." Perhaps your loved one has an entirely different interpretation of what is wrong. Consider using the motivational interviewing techniques described in our article, "Your changing role: Becoming a partner-in-care." The discoveries you make in the conversation can help you increase the likelihood that he or she will follow the doctor's orders.
"I forgot." Simple memory lapses are a fact of aging. Look for solutions to forgetfulness in next month's newsletter.
Some people maintain strong driving skills as they age. But over time, most of us lose physical abilities that are key to safe driving. Indeed, only teens have more accidents per mile than do adults over age 65.
Advanced years alone are not a reason to stop driving, however. Health, fitness, and thinking power, not age, determine a person's ability.
Medication use. Many medicines can slow thinking and response time. Drugs for depression and anxiety can do this, as can sleeping pills and medicines for heart conditions, colds, and allergies.
Two or more recent tickets. Consider tickets a yellow, warning light. Common infractions include poor parking, running a stop sign, or going the wrong way.
Two or more recent accidents. Parking lot and sideswipe accidents indicate driver error. Poor depth perception also causes seniors to have a very high rate of left turn accidents.
Take regular ride-along outings. Notice your loved one's skill level and confidence level. Ask for input from friends and neighbors.
In the next issue, we will discuss things you can do if there is reason for concern. It is important to approach this subject with sensitivity. In the meantime, you may want to explore self-assessments your loved one can take privately, at home. These two were created by the American Automobile Association's Foundation for Traffic Safety.
Is life with a terminal illness hopeless? Not at all. Seriously ill individuals thrive on hope, just like the rest of us. It gives us a sense of purpose.
The four stages often align with disease progression. But it's not uncommon for a person to move back and forth among them.
Knowing the four stages, you can better support your family member in sustaining his or her hope. Listen carefully for comments that indicate hope.
Many families are concerned about "realistic hope." Find out what your loved one is hoping for and ask the doctor if it is feasible. If so, then all of you can work toward this shared goal.
If the hope is not realistic, it may signal the need for a change in care goals. But it does not mean your loved one must be without hope! Instead, it means you need to talk together with the doctor and come up with a more achievable project or purpose.
Dr. David Casarett, a hospice physician, wrote an insightful book about this topic called "Last Acts." It specifically looks at the many ways his patients chose to find meaning in their last few months, weeks, and days.
Hope is always available. We just need help knowing how to look for it.