Some of you have asked me how you can win with a psychopath. The simplest answer is: you can't. The psychopathic bond is essentially a losing cause for the victim. There's no question you will lose for as long as you stay involved with a psychopath: the only question is how much. Chances are that the longer you stay with him, the more you will lose. Furthermore, even after the breakup, you won't win for as long as you perceive winning as relational to a psychopath and his standards.
Here's why: You can't win by seeing him lose, because psychopaths aren't ashamed of their failures. They boast and dominate others even when caught for their crimes and in jail. You can't win by seeing the psychopath regret what he did to hurt you and others because psychopaths lack a conscience. They gloat about their wrongdoings and take trophies to relive the pleasure.
You can't win by persuading the psychopath that he's a psychopath, since to him this will only mean that he's more Machiavellian, intelligent, manipulative and dominant than you and others. Whatever normal people perceive as horrible character flaws—pathological lying, manipulation, a quest for dominance, narcissism and sadistic tendencies—a psychopath perceives as being human qualities that he excels at, which only make him (in his own eyes) superior to others.
Earlier I have explained that for psychopaths winning means playing games with others, assuming fraudulent roles, and putting others down or slandering them (the psychopath's smear campaign) in order to maintain dominance. They are narcissistic in that they need admirers, followers and people to worship them in order to feel like they exist. However, they use and put down even their followers, in order to play games at their expense. Psychopaths and malignant narcissists respect no one but themselves and love no one but themselves. They'd rather waste their lives playing games indented to make others lose than accomplish anything constructive with their lives, as I explain in the posts below:
https://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/05/12/why-sociopaths-win-by-losing/
https://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/06/15/why-do-sociopaths-waste-our-time/
Obviously, you can't win by playing the psychopath's silly power games. You also can't win by asking for or depending upon his approval. Keep in mind that he's a completely worthless human being: a fraud masquerading human qualities. Consequently, showing him how true your love was, how loyal you were, how much you've done for him and what he has destroyed will accomplish nothing except reinforce the dominance bond over you. He latched on to you because of these qualities and destruction was his main goal. He will feel great that he was able to get you to love him so deeply. It means that the dupery worked: score!
For as long as you maintain the psychopath and his deviant standards as a frame of reference you can only lose. Psychopaths view life and human relationships as a strategy game. For as long as you do as well, you are just one more game piece for a severely disordered individual.
You can only win after you sever the psychopathic bond. You will win by moving on, loving again, accomplishing your professional and personal goals and being caring to those who truly care about you. Living well (which means a life free of the psychopath) is the best revenge.
Categories: a stronger you, cat and mouse games, charismatic psychopaths, charming predators, Claudia Moscovici, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, dangerous women, deception, denial, devalue and discard, do psychopaths fall in love, domestic abuse, domestic violence, dumping a psychopath, emotional abuse, emotional predators, emotional vampires, Hervey Cleckley, How can you win after the psychopathic bond?, how sociopaths think, how to recognize a psychopath, infidelity, insincerity, malignant narcissism, manipulative men, manipulative personalities, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, personality disorders, player, players, psychopaths and boredom, psychopaths and emotion, psychopaths and infidelity, psychopaths and passion, psychopathy awareness, psychopathy symptoms, psychopathy traits, psychopathyawareness, red flags psychopathy, stringing women along, Without conscience . Tags: Claudia Moscovici, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, dangerous relationships, dating bad men, dating dangerous men, deception, domestic violence, emotional abuse, Hervey Cleckley, How can you win after the psychopathic bond?, pathological lying, personality disorders, psychopath, psychopathic games, psychopathy awareness, psychopathyawareness, Robert Hare, sex addicts, sexual addiction, social predator, sociopath, sociopathy, The Mask of Sanity, The Seducer, The Seducer: A Novel, The Seducer: A Novel about Psychopathic Seduction, toxic relationships, Without conscience . Author: psychopathyawareness . Comments: 176 Comments
Several readers have indicated in your comments that the psychopaths you broke up with (or who broke up with you) don't let you go. They can't accept that the relationship is over. They still try to contact you even though you told them in no uncertain terms you wish to break all contact with them. Despite this finality, they still harass you with unwelcome emails or phone calls. Sometimes they use your child or children as intermediaries, making the situation even more painful and complicated. So the question arises: Why can't psychopaths take no for an answer and let former relationships go?
I've offered one answer to this question in the post Relationship Boomerang. Psychopaths juggle many relationships at once. Some are in the idealization/luring phase; others are in the devalue phase; yet others are in the discard phase and finally many are in the discarded phase, to which the psychopaths return when they get bored with all of the above.
Since, fundamentally, psychopaths engage with other human beings only because they need idolaters and subjects to use and dominate, an insatiable and obstinate need for control is the main and most fundamental reason why psychopaths can't let go of their victims. Letting go would mean that they lose ownership over former targets. They no longer can get them to do their bidding. They can no longer lie to and manipulate them. They can no longer use them for supply, be it an ego boost, sex, money, or power. Those targets are out of their reach, out of their hands.
This also means that those former targets can move on and have the opportunity to lead much healthier and better lives without the psychopaths. This is the one thing that a psychopath can't tolerate: the idea that you are far better off without him. The idea that you can find love again, or regain control of the finances he decimated, or find a better career that he destroyed.
To move on, you need to sever all contact with the psychopath. The psychopath may not release you, but you can free yourself. If he emails you, keep all the emails and once you establish a pattern of cyberstalking turn them in to the authorities. Even rerouted IP can be identified by the police. If he calls, don't answer. If he leaves messages on the phone, let the answering machine record them and keep them as evidence to show the police. A restraining order may not offer much protection, but proving a pattern of stalking could land the psychopath in jail. Keep all the evidence against him but never engage directly with him (or her) in any way.
Categories: addiction, bad men, charismatic psychopaths, charming predators, cheating, Claudia Moscovici, confusing relationships, cyberpath, cyberstalking, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, dangerous women, deception, denial, devalue and discard, domestic abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, emotional predators, emotional vampires, evil men, how sociopaths think, infidelity, insincerity, leaving the psychopath, life after the psychopath, love, love addiction, manipulative men, manipulative personalities, no contact, psychology, psychopath, psychopathic lovers, psychopathic seducer, The Mask of Sanity, the psychopath's relationship cycle, toxic relationships, trauma bonding, trauma bonds, Without conscience . Tags: Claudia Moscovici, cyberstalking, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, dangerous relationships, dating bad men, dating dangerous men, domestic violence, emotional abuse, Hervey Cleckley, personality disorders, psychology, psychopathic seduction, psychopathy awareness, psychopathyawareness, Robert Hare, social predators, sociopath, stalkers, stalking, The Mask of Sanity, The Seducer, The Seducer: A Novel, The Seducer: A Novel about Psychopathic Seduction, toxic relationships, Why don't psychopaths let go of their victims?, Without conscience . Author: psychopathyawareness . Comments: 291 Comments
Almost everyone involved with a psychopath goes through a phase (and form) of denial. It's very tough to accept the sad reality that the person who claimed to be your best friend or the love of your life is actually a backstabbing snake whose sole purpose in life is humiliating and dominating those around him. Rather than confront this reality, some victims go into denial entirely. They aren't ready to accept any part of the truth, which, when suppressed, often surfaces in anxiety, projection and nightmares.
At some point, however, the evidence of a highly disturbed personality shows through, especially once the psychopath is no longer invested in a given victim and thus no longer makes a significant effort to keep his mask on. Then total denial is no longer possible. The floodgates of reality suddenly burst open and a whole slew of inconsistencies, downright lies, manipulations, criticism and emotional abuse flows through to the surface of our consciousness.
However, even then it's difficult to absorb such painful information all at once. Our heart still yearns for what we have been persuaded, during the luring phase, was our one true love. Our minds are still filled with memories of the so-called good times with the psychopath. Yet, the truth about the infidelities, the constant deception, the manipulation and the backstabbing can no longer be denied. We can't undo everything we learned about the psychopath; we cannot return to the point of original innocence, of total blindness. The result is a contradictory experience: a kind of internal battle between clinging to denial and accepting the truth.
Cognitive dissonance is a painful incredulity marked by this inner contradiction in the victim's attitude towards the victimizer. In 1984, perhaps the best novel about brainwashing that occurs in totalitarian regimes, George Orwell coined his own term for this inner contradiction: he called it doublethink. Doublethink is not logical, but it is a common defense mechanism for coping with deception, domination and abuse. Victims engage in doublethink, or cognitive dissonance, in a partly subconscious attempt to reconcile the contradictory claims and behavior of the disordered individuals who have taken over their lives.
The denial itself can take several forms. It can manifest itself as the continuing idealization of the psychopath during the luring phase of the relationship or it can be shifting the blame for what went wrong in the relationship from him, the culprit, to ourselves, or to other victims. In fact, the easiest solution is to blame neither oneself nor the psychopath, but other victims. How often have you encountered the phenomenon where people who have partners who cheat on them lash out at the other women (or men) instead of holding their partners accountable for their actions? It's far easier to blame someone you're not emotionally invested in than someone you love, particularly if you still cling to that person or relationship.
Other victims project the blame back unto themselves. They accept the psychopath's projection of blame and begin questioning themselves: what did I do wrong, to drive him away? What was lacking in me that he was so negative or unhappy in the relationship? Was I not smart enough, virtuous enough, hard-working enough, beautiful enough, sexy enough, attentive enough, submissive enough etc.
When one experiences cognitive dissonance, the rational knowledge about psychopathy doesn't fully sink in on an emotional level. Consequently, the victim moves constantly back and forth between the idealized fantasy and the pathetic reality of the psychopath. This is a very confusing process and an emotionally draining one as well. Initially, when you're the one being idealized by him, the fantasy is that a psychopath can love you and that he is committed to you and respects you. Then, once you've been devalued and/or discarded, the fantasy remains that he is capable of loving others, just not you. That you in particular weren't right for him, but others can be. This is the fantasy that the psychopath tries to convince every victim once they enter the devalue phase. Psychopaths truly believe this because they never see anything wrong with themselves or their behavior, so if they're no longer excited by a person, they conclude it must be her (or his) fault; that she (or he) is deficient.
Because you put up with emotional abuse from the psychopath you were with and recently been through the devaluation phase–in fact, for you it was long and drawn-out–you have absorbed this particular fantasy despite everything you know about psychopaths' incapacity to love or even care about others. But with time and no contact, the rational knowledge and the emotional will merge, and this last bit of illusion about the psychopath will be dissolved.
Cognitive dissonance is part and parcel of being the victim of a personality disordered individual. It doesn't occur in healthy relationships for several reasons:
1) healthy individuals may have good and bad parts of their personalities, but they don't have a Jekyll and Hyde personality; a mask of sanity that hides an essentially malicious and destructive self. In a healthy relationship, there's a certain transparency: basically, what you see is what you get. People are what they seem to be, flaws and all.
2) healthy relationships aren't based on emotional abuse, domination and a mountain of deliberate lies and manipulation
3) healthy relationships don't end abruptly, as if they never even happened because normal people can't detach so quickly from deeper relationships
4) conversely, however, once healthy relationships end, both parties accept that and move on. There is no stalking and cyberstalking, which are the signs of a disordered person's inability to detach from a dominance bond: a pathetic attempt at reassertion of power and control over a relationship that's over for good
Cognitive dissonance happens in those cases where there's an unbridgeable contradiction between a dire reality and an increasingly implausible fantasy which, once fully revealed, would be so painful to accept, that you'd rather cling to parts of the fantasy than confront that sad reality and move on.
Relatedly, cognitive dissonance is also a sign that the psychopath still has a form of power over you: that his distorted standards still have a place in your brain. That even though you may reject him on some level, on another his opinions still matter to you. Needless to say, they shouldn't. He is a fraud; his opinions are distorted; his ties to others, even those he claims to "love," just empty dominance bonds. Rationally, you already know that his opinions and those of his followers should have no place in your own mental landscape.
But if emotionally you still care about what he thinks or feels, then you are giving a disordered person too much power over you: another form of cognitive dissonance, perhaps the most dangerous. Cut those imaginary ties and cut the power chords that still tie you to a pathological person, his disordered supporters and their abnormal frame of reference. Nothing good will ever come out of allowing a psychopath and his pathological defenders any place in your heart or mind. The schism between their disordered perspective and your healthy one creates the inner tension that is also called cognitive dissonance. To eliminate this inner tension means to free yourself– body, heart and mind–from the psychopath, his followers and their opinions or standards. What they do, say, think or believe –and the silly mind games they choose to play–simply does not matter.
Categories: A Painful Incredulity: Psychopathy and Cognitive Dissonance, a stronger you, bad men, borderline personality disorder, boredom, can psychopaths fall in love, charming predators, cheating, Claudia Moscovici, cognitive dissonance, confusing relationships, cyberpath, cyberstalking, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, deception, denial, devalue and discard, do psychopaths fall in love, domestic abuse, domestic violence, doublethink, emotional abuse, emotional predators, emotional vampires, evil, faces of evil, Hervey Cleckley, how sociopaths think, insincerity, love addiction, manipulative men, manipulative personalities, mental health, moving on, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, psychological torture, psychology, psychopath, psychopathic lovers, psychopathic seducer, psychopathic seduction, Psychopathy and Cognitive Dissonance, signs you're dating a loser, social predators, sociopath, sociopathy, stringing women along, The Seducer, The Seducer: A Novel, The sociopath next door, wishful thinking, Without conscience . Tags: 1984, A Painful Incredulity: Psychopathy and Cognitive Dissonance, Claudia Moscovici, cognitive dissonance, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, dangerous relationships, dating bad men, dating dangerous men, deception, denial, denial and cognitive dissonance, domestic violence, doublethink, emotional abuse, George Orwell, going in denial, Hervey Cleckley, Orwell, psychopathy, psychopathy and cognitive dissonance, psychopathy awareness, psychopathyawareness, social predators, sociopath, sociopaths, sociopathy, The Mask of Sanity, The Seducer, The Seducer: A Novel, The Seducer: A Novel about Psychopathic Seduction, The sociopath next door, toxic relationships, what is a psychopath, Without conscience . Author: psychopathyawareness . Comments: 73 Comments
A Crazy Roller Coaster Ride: Life with a Psychopath from Idealization to Devaluation
Life with a psychopath quickly turns into a crazy roller coaster ride. Psychopaths usually retain the appearance of calm, even in the face of great duress. However, sharing your life with a psychopath for any significant period of time means living with constant drama and extreme ups and downs. There are four main reasons for this, three of which I've alluded to in previous posts and a fourth that I'd like to examine in greater detail today:
1) The psychopath, not being capable of forming deep emotional attachments, is very easily bored. Consequently, he (or she) will need to provoke constant drama in his personal and sometimes even his professional life, for entertainment.
2) The psychopath, aiming for power and control over others, generally becomes involved sexually and romantically with many individuals at once. This in itself will create a lot of mutual jealousy, fighting over him and drama (among those targets that know of each other), once again, entertaining the psychopath and demonstrating his dominance over his victims.
3) A psychopath will engage in arbitrary displays of power, to maintain control over his targets. If he got upset in a rational manner only for legitimate reasons, this would not demonstrate his power nor psychologically and emotionally unhinge those around him. Psychopaths are always tyrants: be it of their small families or of an entire nation. Whether they wield power over few or over many, their behavior is similar, as are their techniques of maintaining control (deceit, brainwashing, isolation, abuse interspersed with small favors and arbitrary displays of power, manifested from anything to physical violence to gaslighting and emotional abuse and, in some cases, to death itself).
4) However, there's an aspect of the roller coaster ride–the constant ups and downs, the extreme idealization and the bitter devaluation–which is even harder for victims to accept. It's nearly impossible for victims to understand why somebody who made such a great effort to seduce you; who couldn't praise you enough; who gave you so many romantic gifts; who said "I love you Baby" more often than "hello"; who seemed to be lost in your eyes could all of a sudden perceive you as a nothing and a nobody; insult your appearance, accomplishments and intellect; criticize and stab you in the back to others and–above all–hate you as the worst enemy of their lives. I believe that this dramatic and seemingly unmotivated shift from high to low regard absolutely stuns victims of psychopaths, leading some of them to wonder what they did wrong to provoke it.
The answer usually is: you did nothing wrong. In some cases, the flattery and gifts were only a ruse the psychopath used to get whatever he may have wanted from you: be it money, sex, or a cover of normalcy. In other cases, however, the flattery was genuine: which, of course, also means genuinely shallow. It was a sign that the psychopath's pursuit of you was extremely exciting and rewarding to him. You were (for a period of time) a very high priority because of the immediate gratification the relationship with you offered him.
This doesn't mean, of course, that he didn't cheat on you, that he didn't lie to you, or that he treated you well. It only means that he took the trouble to deceive you and hide his secret lives far better because that was the only way to get from you whatever he wanted at the time. He couldn't have obtained your trust, your love, your commitment, or your wealth without doing everything possible to convince you of the lie that he, himself was capable of trust, love and commitment.
The high in your relationship is therefore explicable in terms of the time required to lure you, to get you to buy the false image and bond to him. The low is explicable in terms of his need to control and dominate you. Later, it's also the manifestation of the final phase of the relationship–the discard phase–when the psychopath finally exposed himself for what he is. At that point, he either left you or you left him. Usually, however, psychopaths never leave you for good, but return from time to time to probe for more supply and to destabilize your life.
But it seems as if the psychopath's devaluation of you is so filled with bitterness, hatred and sometimes even violence that it can't be fully explained in terms of him tiring of you and moving on to other promising victims. Loving couples can grow apart and leave each other for better matches and lives. Non-loving couples can grow apart once they're no longer useful to one another. But a psychopath takes this process one step further, to discard his ex-lovers with a degree of vitriol and hatred that astonishes his victims and exceeds any boundaries of normality.
This becomes most obvious in those cases when psychopaths kill their ex-partners and dispose of their bodies as if they were a pile of garbage. Fortunately, this only happens rarely: and when it does, we tend to hear about it on the news. However, even psychopaths who don't engage in such extreme behavior manifest an inexplicably strong vitriol towards their former partners, particularly towards those who left them of their own volition.
It's as if a psychopath feels doubly betrayed in those cases: not only for being rejected by you, but also for the fact you're no longer living up to the unrealistic ideal of the honeymoon phase of the relationship. He projects the blame for the diminished excitement in the relationship unto you. What's wrong with you that you don't thrill him anymore, as you did in the beginning of his hot pursuit? Is it because you're not beautiful enough? Is it because you're not smart enough? Or rich enough? Or sexual and sensual enough? What do you do wrong and how do you fail to meet his needs?
Failing to accept any responsibility for anything in life, a psychopath never really blames himself for any failure in his relationships. Someone else, or circumstances, are always to blame. Like a child who tires of an old mechanical toy and smashes it to the ground when it no longer works, so the psychopath destroys old relationships (along with their positive associations in his mind) after he tires of each of his partners. For a psychopath, it's not enough to end a dying relationship. He must also demolish that person and what she once represented to him. The higher you were initially idealized by a psychopath, the lower you will fall in his eyes when the relationship inevitably fizzles out. Hatred and contempt will fill the place in his empty heart, which was temporarily filled by shallow admiration and lust.
Categories: antisocial personality disorder, bad men, borderline personality disorder, cat and mouse games, charismatic psychopaths, charming predators, Claudia Moscovici, confusing relationships, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, dating, deception, devalue and discard, do psychopaths fall in love, domestic abuse, domestic violence, dumping a psychopath, emotional abuse, emotional predators, emotional vampires, how sociopaths think, idealize, insincerity, manipulative men, manipulative personalities, mental health, psychological torture, psychology, psychopath, psychopathic lovers, psychopathic seducer, psychopathic seduction, psychopaths and boredom, psychopaths and emotion, psychopaths and passion, psychopaths as lovers, psychopathy, psychopathy awareness, psychopathy symptoms, psychopathy traits, relationships, Robert Hare, the psychopath's contempt, toxic relationships, trauma bonding, trauma bonds . Tags: A Crazy Roller Coaster Ride, A Crazy Roller Coaster Ride: Life with a Psychopath from Idealization to Devaluation, Claudia Moscovici, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, dangerous relationships, dating bad men, dating dangerous men, devaluation, devaluation phase, devalue and discard, domestic violence, emotional instability, emotional ups and downs, extreme devaluation, idealize, instability, life with a psychopath, Life with a Psychopath from Idealization to Devaluation, personality disorders, psychology, psychopathy, psychopathy awareness, psychopathyawareness, Robert Hare, social predator, sociopathy, The Mask of Sanity, The Seducer: A Novel about Psychopathic Seduction, toxic relationships, why the psychopath devalues his victims, Without conscience . Author: psychopathyawareness . Comments: 196 Comments
I'm not alone in thinking that the NOT GUILTY verdict in the Casey Anthony trial, the young woman accused of killing her young daughter Caylee–like that of the O. J. Simpson trial before it–was a travesty of justice. What's more appalling than when a clearly disordered person seems to be getting away with murder (at least in the eyes of a large segment of the public) is when she's also getting paid large sums of money by the media for her infamy. It's as if the American media rewards those who seem to be, quite literally, getting away with murder.
Faced with a much-deserved backlash from an outraged American public, ABC news decided to withdraw their offer to pay Casey Anthony one million dollars for exclusive rights to her story. It's a wise decision, although I can't help but wonder what kind of message both the news and the entertainment media send the public when they're even contemplating such an offer. Apparently selling scandalous news trumps any consideration to ethics or the public welfare.
Because of this priority, not that long ago, notorious (probable) psychopaths like Drew Peterson had a field day with the media, manipulating them to the point of ridicule and humiliation. When interviewed on Steve Dahl's Morning Show about his proported grief for his missing wife, Peterson wanted to pitch instead his idea for a dating contest, Win a Date with Drew. Being desperate to get an interview with high profile suspected murderers, even the mainstream media–not only the tabloids–are turning psychopathy into a circus.
Here's one of the latest stories about the outcome of Casey Anthony's trial and the media offers for her story, from Marisa Guthrie in The Hollywood Reporter (July 8, 2011). I'm including below both Guthrie's article and its link, since I believe this case has everything to do with psychopathy (and its rewards in the media). The media has become so motivated by the bottom line that, apparently, they are willing to pay any price for salacious news stories, no matter how much they offend the norms of human decency.
by Marisa Guthrie
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/how-a-casey-anthony-interview-209342
Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment, said in a statement: "It's clear to me now… that there has been an overwhelmingly negative response to our offer and so we've decided to withdraw it. It has become obvious to us that Vivid fans, and people in general, want nothing to do with her and that includes a XXX movie. We want to make movies that people want to watch and we now believe that we underestimated the emotional response that people are having to the verdict. A movie starring Casey Anthony is not what people want to see."
On Thursday, Hollywood agency Paradigm, Jose Baez hours after the company announced internally that it would rep Baez in TV, film and book rights.
Nevertheless, as Anthony is due to be released from jail on July 17, bookers for the broadcast and cable networks are camped in Florida working contacts in hopes of landing interviews with Anthony and her family. But the stench of checkbook journalism and the prospect that Anthony could profit from the death of her daughter is giving news executives back in New York pause.
One executive characterized any Casey Anthony interview as "hugely complicated."
And a booker echoed that sentiment: "It's complicated any time you're paying somebody who everybody thinks is a killer."
"It's going to be one of the biggest gets," said another booker. "But is it worth the bad press? Sometimes it's not."
News organizations are already feeling the heat for the widespread practice of licensing photos and videos from interview subjects. ABC News was revealed to have paid the Anthony family $200,000 in 2008 for what a network spokesperson has described as an "extensive library of photos and home video for use by our broadcasts, platforms, affiliates and international partners." ABC News also paid meter reader Roy Kronk, who discovered Caylee Anthony's remains, a $15,000 photo licensing fee. But it was not for a picture of the remains, rather it was for a photo of a snake. Kronk appeared on Good Morning America. He testified that the snake distracted him when he found Caylee's skeleton. (ABC News did not pay Baez or juror Jennifer Ford.)
Now news organizations routinely disclose on-air if they've paid a licensing fee. And the practice has become so derided, that they take pains to disclose when they haven't paid. Today host Ann Curry noted as much during her interview with Octomom Nadya Suleman on Friday.
News organizations dealings with Anthony, say industry observers, must be squeaky clean if they hope to preserve some semblance of journalistic integrity and also land what is sure to be a ratings bonanza. But Anthony, who is clearly estranged from her family and has no resources to speak of, has little incentive to grant a free interview.
"She's got no interest in granting a regular news interview," says television news analyst Andrew Tyndall. "She's only got interest in granting a promotional interview, which is remunerative. Of course, news organizations should sit her down and say, 'What's your theory of what happened to your daughter?' But that's a news interview. There's no prospect of an actual journalistic interview being done here, where real journalistic questions are asked and answered and we actually gain some insight into the circumstances of this case.
"Journalists, for their own self-preservation," adds Tyndall, "should go a million miles away from this because there's no information, just sensation."
Categories: ABC news, ABC news Casey Anthony, antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, Casey Anthony, Casey Anthony getting away with murder?, Casey Anthony psychopath?, Casey Anthony verdict, Caylee Anthony, Caylee's murder, charismatic psychopaths, Charismatic Psychopaths: Mark Hacking and Neil Entwistle, charming predators, Claudia Moscovici, Dangerous Liaisons, Drew Peterson, emotional predators, emotional vampires, ennui, evil, evil clowns, evil jokers, evil men, faces of evil, fascination with evil, How a Casey Anthony Interview Could Backfire on News Orgs, how sociopaths think, how to recognize a psychopath, infamous psychopaths, infamous psychopaths on the news, investigating psychopaths, Investigation Discovery, it pays to be infamous, It Pays to be Infamous: Psychopaths and the Media, Jekyll and Hyde Personalities, manipulative men, manipulative personalities, Marisa Guthrie, murder, narcissism, pathological lying, personality disorders, psychology, psychopath, psychopaths and the media, psychopathy, psychopathy symptoms, psychopathy traits, psychopathyawareness, red flags psychopathy, Robert Hare, social predators, sociopath, sociopathy, Steve Dahl Drew Peterson interview, the murder of Caylee Anthony, the psychopath unmasked, the psychopath's emotions, why psychopaths are evil, why psychopathy is everyone's problem, win a date with Drew, Without conscience . Tags: ABC news, ABC news Casey Anthony, Casey Anthony, Casey Anthony and the media, Casey Anthony case, Casey Anthony case travesty of justice, Casey Anthony found not guilty, Casey Anthony psychopath? Casey Anthony got away with murder? Casey Anthony interview, Casey Anthony trial, Casey Anthony verdict, Caylee Anthony, Caylee's murder, Claudia Moscovici, Dangerous Liaisons, dangerous men, dangerous relationships, deception, Drew Peterson, Drew Peterson and the media, Drew Peterson Dating Show, getting away with murder, Hervey Cleckley, How a Casey Anthony Interview Could Backfire on News Orgs, infamous psychopaths, It Pays to be Infamous, It Pays to be Infamous: Psychopaths and the Media, Marisa Guthrie, pathological lying, personality disorders, psychology, psychopath, psychopathic killers, psychopathic seduction, psychopaths, psychopaths and crime, psychopaths and murder, Psychopaths and the Media, Psychopaths in the Media, psychopaths media, psychopathy, psychopathyawareness, Robert Hare, social predator, social predators, sociopath, sociopathic killers, sociopathy, Steve Dahl Drew Peterson interview, Steve Dahl Morning Show, The Mask of Sanity, The Seducer, The Seducer: A Novel about Psychopathic Seduction, The sociopath next door, toxic relationships, win a date with Drew, Without conscience . Author: psychopathyawareness . Comments: 3 Comments
Most of my posts have been about how to identify psychopathic traits and patterns of behavior and about understanding what drew the psychopath to you–and you to him–originally. I have also written several posts emphasizing the importance of no contact of any kind, passive or active, in being able to recover from the toxic relationship. But let's say you now can recognize the features of psychopathy and narcissism. You are maintaining no contact. Yet you still ruminate obsessively about the relationship and you still feel trapped, somehow, inside of it. What do you do then?
My answer may sound somewhat circular: you've got to do everything possible to move on with the rest of your life. Fill your life with interests and activities other than thinking about the psychopathic ex. Focus on the relationships with people in your life who genuinely care about you and support you. Make new, genuine, friends. Find renewed energy in your job or in life goals, even those you might have given up on during the toxic relationship. Coming to terms with the truth about the psychopath and your relationship with him is essential to being able to let go of that person and your past together. But staying trapped in your past and ruminating endlessly about it–at the expense of other relationships or life goals–can become just another prison.
It can also foster negative personality traits that you may not wish to have, like paranoia or extreme distrust of all other human beings. In my last post, the review of Robert Conquest's book on Stalin, I alluded to the atmosphere of mutual distrust cultivated under by a totalitarian dictatorship, where people started accusing family members and friends of deviationism–or of being traitors to the communist society and principles–and turning against each other. This phenomenon can happen anytime and anywhere, even if it's more acute in dictatorships led by psychopathic tyrants.
Yes, it's important to be cautious. Yes, it's important to be aware of red flags in new relationships, or even older ones. Yes, it's important to be aware of the signs of personality disorders. Yes, it's important to cut off pathological individuals from your life. But what you want to avoid is you, yourself becoming pathological and living in an atmosphere of paranoia, pointing fingers at others left and right, and becoming consumed by the underlying hatred and distrust that characterized your relationship with the psychopath.
Moving on means, as Aristotle and other Greek philosophers urged, leading a well-rounded life. It means finding support and information about what you've gone through, both here and elsewhere, without neglecting all the other aspects of your life–family, friends, job, goals, exercise, enjoyment–that can free you from your painful past and help you escape the mental prison in order to live again.
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