To have hope in hopelessness… Ah, yes. The ever-illusive hope. The crawl from hopelessness to a semblance of peace and calm inside. The search term which struck me from yesterday was "to have hope in hopelessness." There were actually two queries related to finding hope from hopelessness, so I thought I would address one way in which to do that.
Hope is defined as a feeling that what is wanted will occur or happen; it is desire accompanied by expectation. It is that state in which we all wish to live, as our desires and expectations are met. In this case, the desire is for peace-of-mind. You keep your hope because you expect your desire to have emotional peace will be met.
Hopelessness is the state of having no belief that things can get better, the belief that your situation is impossible to solve or deal with. It often slides into despair, which is utter loss of hope and the resulting dejection that occurs. Often, when you are in despair, you think about dying.
I got to a point of utter hopelessness and despair about five or six years into my sobriety. I could see no purpose in having had to endure what I did as a child, other than to make me miserable in my life. I had sustained PTSD as a result of the chronic abuse; it went undiagnosed until I was 53 years old, so I lived with it all that time.
I saw no purpose in my childhood experience, no way that it added to my growth or evolution as a human being. I wanted to die. Afraid I'd fail in my attempt at suicide, I started praying to God to let me die. I became despondent when that didn't happen.
So, where do you go when you are feeling hopeless, despondent and despairing? In my case, it was over a bad childhood. If you are a Vietnam Veteran, it may have been the degradation of your honor, based on how you were greeted and treated when you returned home. Whatever the cause, hopelessness is devastating and erodes your spirit, your very soul.
Quite by accident, I stumbled upon a solution. Frankly, I don't think it was an accident; I believe it happened by divine intervention… I had an experience that melted away my terrible hopelessness and despair. I had an opportunity to be useful to someone else who was suffering emotionally, someone else who felt hopeless from his years of treatment he received as a child.
After I had been of service by sharing my similar experience and how I had healed thus-far, I realized that, without my experience with childhood trauma and the will to try and get out from under its long-lasting effects, I never would have been able to help this man. I never would have been of service to him.
Suddenly, the experience of trauma made sense. It happened so I could be of service to another. The trauma had a purpose. I had a purpose. It was to help out a fellow human being. On that day, I believed in a flash that my message is God-sent, and is intended for you who are feeling, or have felt, hopeless in their lives. My message is one of hope that your experiences can be made purposeful if you turn around and help another through their troubles, sharing what you have learned.
Not only did I see in that instant that my history served a vital function; I also saw that my message of hope was meant for many people. Within my message of hope comes the ability to forgive after years of anger and bitterness, the recovery from long-standing and debilitating grief.
You will need to search the corners of your heart and determine what difficult life lessons warrant sharing with another or others. How can you take your experiences and be of service to others? Even just one other person… I invite you to take action by figuring this out and carrying out that service. It is the most satisfying feeling to be of service to another. It offer them hope in hopelessness.
We have come to the point that we believe in and accept ourselves, and we have done this in part by doing a self-appraisal, a performance appraisal.
To do that, we have had to be honest, open, and willing to look at ourselves, to make changes in our lives.
On top of that, we have gained courage to move forward, and through that, have developed our ability to be humble.
We have learned how to offer forgiveness, and we have begun to feel emotional peace.
Now that we have come to all of these beliefs and realizations, we have learned to treat ourselves with compassion and kindness.
If we have made it this far, to the place that we are beginning to love ourselves and practice all the things I have mentioned, then we have begun to have hope.
We are now moving from hopelessness to hope. All of this is helping our sobriety, helping us stay sober, one day at a time.
It is my deepest wish that you are following along, and are beginning to dawn hope in your heart. That is the purpose of the links in today's post, to remind yourself of where we have been, and to revisit any, if necessary. May you find hope in the pages.
It is 5:30 am Sunday morning and I have been up since midnight. I just popped awake, and decided to get up. Finally, I have made some sense and order of my inbox.
I sit on the enclosed porch and watch the sky to the east. It has turned a shade of dark gray. The traffic noise from nearby Highway 101 is still… I hear two birds singing. It is a reverent time of the day for me, a time in which I connect to Source.
You have accepted your dream as a part of who you are, part of your soul, and you have committed to follow that dream. This fuels your hope that your life can be fulfilling.
Being in a state of hopelessness is a devastating place to be. When I was there at that point, I prayed to God to let me die. I saw no point to life as I was experiencing it.
Then something happened that gave me hope. I discovered my purpose, that my life had a purpose. For me, it is to share with you the message of self-love and love of others, to share about how to forgive so you can make peace with your life.
Today, look for hope through your purpose in life. What are your talents and skills? Who can you serve? When you figure out who you can serve, you will most likely have discovered your dream. And when you do, you're well on your way to peace.
Perhaps the hardest thing we have to do in sobriety is to overcome despair. It is a most debilitating feeling, and if we are "down" enough, we might be feeling this despair.
If you are there now, there are things to do which may be helpful. At least, they helped me to dispel my despair.
But the thing that helped the most with my despair, was to discover that my life had a purpose. Once I discovered that purpose, my despair went away and it has not returned. For me, discovering that I could help others by telling my story, combatted my despair. I discovered that my life of misery and woe and hardship was worthwhile because it could be of use to others.
What is your gift that you can bring to others? How can you be of service in the world? When you figure this out, see if that doesn't begin to rid you of hopelessness, of despair.
It's hard to think that inspirational quotes about life can alter your mind. Usually, when we think of mind-altering, we think of substances like drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine.
These substances bring us a euphoria, an escape from emotional pain and stress. It is with these that we get away from the demons in our mind, sometimes engaging in their use until we are numb and can no longer feel. This can occur when we are experiencing deep emotional wounds.
At the very least, this behavior of over-indulging can be self-destructive, especially if substances are used for the purpose of numbing. At its best and in moderation, altering our minds with substances gives us a bit of a respite – a breather, so-to-speak. Is this not the same thing we would all like to feel when we get stressed from the daily trials and tribulations?
Instead of using substances, consider that we can alter our mind with inspirational quotes about life. We hear the words of another, whether that person is famous or not, and we relate to them at a deep, personal level. They resonate with our being. Ah, a connection is made.
The words bring us hope – hope of better times, hope of release of stress in our mind. Often, the quotes are strong enough to bring forth empowerment. When this occurs, we are inspired to take action on our behalf.
Stirring inspirational quotes about life bring us to compassion for ourselves and others. The words can lead us to want to show concern and empathy for those in our world.
Inspirational quotes about life lead us to gratitude as we express our thankfulness. We begin to feel oneness with others and ourselves, as we open our hearts.
It is that feeling of oneness that arises when we read these inspirational quotes that is so sacred, so spiritual in nature. Perhaps, allowing in the spirituality of the quotes changes our mind chemistry, such that it alters our mood.
So, the next time you have a need to alter your mind, try some inspirational quotes about life. Bask in the hope, the compassion, the gratitude you find, and experience that feeling of oneness with yourself and the world.
Fear. That emotion, that sense which warns us of danger, keeps us alert and in a fight or flight mode, when necessary. But fear can also be detrimental, can hold us back when moving ahead is in our best interest. In these situations, courage can be difficult to call forth, but it can be summoned to walk past the fear one is experiencing.
Fear can be paralyzing, keeping us from moving forward, from reaching our dreams, or even taking the first steps to reach our dream. Fear appears as concern that we will not be liked, that we are not good enough, that what we are doing is wrong. These fears often stem from low feeling of self-worth and feelings of being "less than." As we strengthen our feelings of esteem and worthiness, these fears lessen.
False Evidence Appearing Real. Often, it is the anticipation of an upcoming event which takes us to fear. We imagine every negative thing that could occur, until soon, we have taken ourselves to great fear, sometimes to feelings of of impending doom. In these situations, we would do well to stop ourselves from imagining how an event will turn out and instead, open ourselves to the possibilities that can occur. This requires an attitude of openness, of willingness to see things in a new light, without anticipation. It requires that one be open to any outcome. One would do well to look within, rather than without, at that up-coming event, to locate any sources of unrest, of fear.
Understanding fear when it arises is useful, so one can choose how to handle it… Is it false evidence appearing real, or a truly dangerous situation? If we identify it is related to a low self-esteem, we can work on our beliefs and feelings about ourselves. If it arises out of the desire to follow a dream, one can summon courage and take the action anyway. Once we do this a few times, fear begins to recede. It becomes easier to call upon courage and to walk through the fear that arises.
To all of you new to my blog, allow me to acquaint you. We are blogging through my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, topic by topic as they appear in the book. We are starting over today; we are at the beginning of the book. Join me as we travel the path from fear to hope to peace. Is that what you look for in your life? Peace?