I'm currently sitting on a train, heading back home to my one and only beautiful HG Survivor and reflecting on how my experience during pregnancy has completely changed the direction my life has taken.
As you may know, I have devoted the past 3 years of my life to raising awareness of the truly awful pregnancy complication Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). This has involved working on a book about HG (which I started way back in 2012, finding a co-author in Spewing Mummy in 2013) and working for the charity Pregnancy Sickness Support. I have worked tirelessly to promote the charity's work, support other sufferers and survivors, and get word out that that this is not morning sickness!
Which leads me to this morning, when I found myself sitting on the sofa of Good Morning Britain, talking with Dr. Hilary Jones and the presenters Charlotte and Ben about my own experience of HG. Why? Because with news of the Duchess of Cambridge suffering from HG for a second time, there has been a fair amount of media interest in the subject.
Understandably, the response to this has been varied. Some sufferers are over the moon that HG is being presented to the public in this way, having faced lots of criticism over their own pregnancy sickness in the past. Others are disappointed that it is still being described as "acute morning sickness" and that comments about trying to avoid medications in the first trimester or trying ginger are still being offered up as advice.
But here's the thing for me… HG is making the news! And whilst we still have a long way to go, we are getting there.
Whilst there were comments about ginger, it was made clear that this may not apply to HG (it doesn't) and whilst there is hesitancy over prescribing medications in the first trimester, they are not being disregarded completely. We are not hearing that there is "nothing they can do" or that treatments are harmful, both of which are common messages sufferers often come across.
And whilst my short interview may not have provided the opportunity to discuss these issues in more detail (my co-author and colleague had this opportunity later on with Phil and Holly on This Morning!) it did provide media attention that is so very needed.
Let me tell you something… whilst I talk about HG on a daily basis, whilst I have written a book on the subject and talk to sufferers every single day, going on live tv is on a whole different level.
And talking about my own experience, well that was pretty crazy too! I tend to try and keep the focus on general experiences of HG sufferers rather than my own personal experience. This is partly because this more detached focus is needed in my work both for the charity and on the book. But it is also, in a larger part, because I have been burned too many times by people labelling me as "milking it" or a "drama queen" and I struggle with that. A lot.
As such, I have doubted my experience for a long, long time. I haven't felt a true part of the HG Community of women who had multiple admissions, knew all about ketones, or were prescribed a variety of antiemetics. I felt like a fraud for a very long time… yet I clearly had HG and I clearly needed treatment. Based on the facts you cannot dispute that, and yet I still question myself. And that is the legacy that HG leaves, especially undiagnosed and poorly treated HG.
HG stole the joy of pregnancy from me. It stole my dream of having a larger family (we're sticking at one child). And it stole an awful lot of confidence from me, confidence which I worked extremely hard to develop over many years.
Going on live tv was utterly terrifying in many ways, especially knowing just how many other women were relying on me to give an accurate portrayal of the sheer hell that is HG. I have no previous media experience of this kind (freelance writing or social media, yes, but tv and radio, not at all). And I am certainly not used to talking about it from a personal perspective. But my experience has been so profound that I know I would do anything and everything I can to create change for all those other women out there who are suffering now or have suffered in the past. And if that includes going on live tv, then so be it!
You may also be interested in the following posts I wrote during the Duchess of Cambridge's first pregnancy, regarding the importance of accurate reporting.
Incredibly proud of you Amanda. You looked so calm despite being out of your comfort zone. I bet it wasn't how you were feeling inside. You came across very well. I know it wasn't the angle you wanted BUT the message is getting out there. Just think how far the charity and knowledge of HG has come since we were pregnant. The only way is up so others do not have to suffer any more than the condition already causes.