The Green Eyed Monster – Part 2
I'm Back…But Where Have I Been?
Life PC (Post Curley)
About Frankie's Legacy
Frankie's Legacy – The Book
Communication Matters
Hyper Fertility
Rare Chromosome Disorders
Chromosome 15 Duplication Syndrome
Bereaved parents' report on BBC News 09/04/14
Posted by Frankie's Legacy | Apr 11, 2014 | Awareness Raising, Blog, Meeting like-minded people, Stillbirth, Support | 0 |
An excellent report from the BBC a couple of days ago, highlighting the growing need for support for bereaved parents.
If you are in Worcestershire, and need to talk, we hold a support group once a month, which is open to bereaved parents, grand parents, and friends and family members of bereaved parents, as we ALL need support. You are not alone….
http://www.frankieslegacy.org.uk/support-group/
Bereaved parents' voices heard at last
By Philippa RoxbyHealth reporter, BBC News (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-26889862)
Giving birth is an emotional and often traumatic experience even when things go well, but what about when it goes wrong?
Up until now, no-one has ever asked parents who have experienced stillbirth or the death of a baby shortly after birth what they felt about the care they received.
Finally, however, their voices are being heard. A survey of more than 700 bereaved parents by Oxford University shows that a significant number are being let down at a devastating time in their lives.
Claire Kerry, 36, is one of those parents. She was 10 days overdue with her second child in February 2012 when she went into labour.
Many hours later in a birthing pool in her local hospital, her daughter Esther was stillborn after the umbilical cord became tightly wrapped around her neck and body.
"We had heard her heart beat just 10 minutes before. She was a healthy, strong girl of eight pounds three ounces, she was beautiful," Claire says.
But she could not be resuscitated.
Special memory
Claire and her husband, from the Midlands, say that although the care they received during Esther's birth was good, it was the way they were treated afterwards that left them feeling isolated and angry.
"Parents need to feel there is someone they can speak to, who will listen to their anxieties"
Janet Scott – Sands (https://www.uk-sands.org/)
A bereavement midwife, who is trained to deal with bereaved parents, was kind and comforting at the time but the photographs which were taken of Esther and should have been sent to Claire as a memory of her daughter, never arrived.
She had to chase them up and eventually they were located in the bottom of the bereavement midwife's drawer.
Ten months after Esther's stillbirth, the photos were delivered, but "they weren't the special memory they were supposed to be by then," Claire whispers.
At a follow-up appointment just weeks after losing their daughter, they were made to sit in a waiting room with expectant mothers, only to be told by an intimidating line-up of doctors and nurses – none of whom were present at the birth – that Esther's death was "just one of those things".
"It wasn't nice at all. We felt so disempowered. We were still stunned and shocked by what had happened."
Back at home, midwives came on two occasions to check Claire's stitches and she was discharged, with some leaflets to read. Her GP left a message on her phone asking if she needed anything. But that was it.
"I felt so isolated – as if all the doors had been closed on me. You need people more than ever at that point.
"I'd still had a baby, but no-one came."
'Dark place'
Claire found herself in freefall. She became very low and depressed as the impact of her loss began to take hold. Friends and family just didn't know what to say and it was only a series of psychotherapy sessions which helped pull her slowly out of that dark place.
Claire's experiences are not dissimilar to those of many parents in Oxford's Listening to Parents study, which collates the findings of a survey of the experiences of maternity care after bereavement of 720 women across England.
The results, which will be presented at a meeting of the Royal Society of Medicine, suggest that the care provided is generally good but they also reflect a wide variation in the quality of care provided by hospitals and individual health professionals.
During labour, the survey found that 10% of women said they did not feel listened to or that their concerns were taken seriously. Nearly a third said they did not feel they had a part in decision-making and almost half said they did not feel fully confident about the decisions made at the time.
Some parents reported being taken to rooms within maternity wards after the birth and being able to hear other babies crying, which they found extremely distressing.
While some staff are praised for their compassion, others are described as insensitive and uncaring.
Lead researcher Dr Maggie Redshaw, from Oxford University's National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit, says it is important to hear bereaved parents' voices and learn from them.
"Death and bereavement is a very big deal for young parents when they have hopes for the future. They set out on a path to be a parent and what happens is a huge shock."
This can have a long-lasting psychological impact, she says. Bereaved parents reported being depressed and suffering from anxiety at much higher rates than the general population.
Dr Renshaw says care should not stop when parents leave the neo-natal unit. Support and counselling could be improved, and is often needed long term.
'Concerns are valid'
But perhaps more could be done to help prevent stillbirth happening in the first place.
Janet Scott, head of research and prevention at Sands, the national stillbirth and neonatal death charity, says parents' concerns must be listened to.
"'I knew something was wrong' is a terrible burden for parents to carry.
"Parents need to feel there is someone they can speak to, who will listen to their anxieties before and during labour.
"They should be made to feel their concerns are valid."
The study's conclusion urges midwives, GPs and consultants to listen to the views of parents who have experienced the death of a baby, so that "some of the unacceptable experiences described" can be avoided.
Claire knows it can make all the difference. Since Esther's death, she has had a miscarriage and was treated at a different hospital where her experience was very positive.
"I was treated like a human being. It made me realise just how badly we were treated before."
PreviousFrankie's Story
NextMany thanks for all your support
Frankie's Legacy
Famous People With A Cleft Lip & Palate (Cleft Lip & Palate Awareness Week)
"AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE MY BABY IS BURIED!" Oh For An NHS Future-Gazer!
For April 1st….A Polite Request
Further Press Coverage For Cleft Awareness In The Worcester News
Lisa Ventura – Frankie's Mum & Founder of Frankie's Legacy
Frankie was a small pebble dropped into the lake of life…but his ripple will be felt forever…
My blog "Frankie's Legacy: Love, Loss Grief & Recovery" focuses on raising awareness of early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, cleft lip/palate and rare chromosome disorders.
My much loved and much wanted son Francesco "Frankie" Enrico Ventura was born sleeping on 29/11/2013 and had a severe cleft lip/palate, talipes and an extremely rare chromosome disorder (chromosome 15 duplication syndrome).
This blog focuses on my journey as an empty armed mother, and about how I am surviving stillbirth, celebrating Frankie and creating his lasting legacy as best I can.
Dear Frankie…on your Seventh Birthday xx
Nov 29, 2020 | Bereavement, Francesco Enrico Ventura
Happy 6th Birthday Frankie
Goodbye To The Butterfly Awards
Oct 26, 2019 | Blog, Butterfly Awards
Baby Loss Awareness Month – October 2018
Oct 1, 2018 | Awareness Raising, Bereavement, Blog, Support
Not Out Of Mind Service in Worcester to Remember Our Babies on 13 October 2018
Sep 23, 2018 | Articles, Blog, Feature, News, Rev'd David Southall, Stillbirth, Support, Surviving
An Account of Mother's Day from an Empty Armed Mother
Mar 11, 2018 | Articles, Bereavement, Blog, Chromosome 15 Duplication Syndrome, Cleft Lip, Cleft Palate, empty armed mother, Feature, Francesco Enrico Ventura, hyper fertility, Loss, Mother's Day
Take The Red Pill, Take The Blue Pill: The Choices And Decisions We Make
Feb 4, 2018 | Articles, Blog, empty armed mother, Grief, Keeping Going, Loss, Stillbirth, Support
Big Me, Little Me
Jan 7, 2018 | Articles, Bereavement, Blog, Surviving, Things I've Learnt
We Are Still Mothers
Through this blog "Frankie's Legacy" my mission and vision is to help and support parents and families that have been affected by early pregnancy loss, stillbirth and neonatal death.
Through blogging, article writing, awareness raising and carefully targeted campaigns in the media including "Communication Matters", which aims to help improve communication between healthcare professionals and parents to be when delivering sensitive and in some cases bad news.
CATEGORIES Select Category 31 Days Of Mindfulness Challenge (1) 4D Scan (2) A Star For Frankie (1) Actively Trying (2) Articles (6) Awards (2) Awareness Raising (40) Bereavement (18) Birmingham Women's Hospital (1) Blog (84) Butterfly Awards (6) Celebrity Interviews (3) Charity (9) Christmas (2) Chromosome 15 Duplication Syndrome (4) CLAPA (15) Cleft Lip (31) Cleft Palate (32) Communication Matters (2) Diagnosis (11) Easter (1) empty armed mother (4) Events (8) Family (7) Feature (2) Francesco Enrico Ventura (37) Friendship (2) Fundraising (13) Genetic Counselling (1) Getting Pregnant (2) Good News (6) Grief (10) Guest Posts (1) Healthcare Communications (1) hyper fertility (3) I Appreciate (4) Interviews (6) Keeping Going (19) Lentil (3) Loss (7) Meeting like-minded people (11) Mikaeel Kular (2) Miscarriage (2) Mother's Day (2) Mumpreneur UK (1) My Name Is Lentil (2) News (15) NHS (7) Poetry (6) Positivity (19) PR (13) Pregnancy (3) Rainbow baby (3) Rev'd David Southall (6) scans (9) songrapher (10) Spotlight On (3) Stillbirth (11) Support (8) Survey (1) Surviving (10) Things I've Learnt (10) Trying Again (4) TTC (3) Uncategorized (21) Worcester News (3) worcestershire royal hospital (24) Your Stories (1)