What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Joke has 51.86 % from 282 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt. He said to her, "If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle." The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said, "If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." The wife grabbed her husband's penis and replied, "and if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and your brother!"
Joke has 85.01 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, wife
God said to Adam, "I've got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I've only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Joke has 83.47 % from 1409 votes. More jokes about: god, men, sex, time
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Joke has 78.23 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: men, party, sex
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Joke has 77.84 % from 439 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, women
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
Joke has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Joke has 77.54 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, sex, women
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Joke has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Joke has 71.46 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms? A: So gay guys can play star wars.
Joke has 69.88 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, sex
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Joke has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women