Flying to Twin Falls Determined to be Very Sad
Rick Driggs
The southern Idaho town of Twin Falls, with a population of 45,000, is best known for having a Sportsman's Warehouse and Chik-Fil-A. The area was first settled in 1860 when a group of pioneers became disoriented in a dust storm, crashed their wagons into the Snake River canyon and declared 'Fuck it. We'll stay here'.
Results of a recent survey of airline passengers flying to Twin Falls, Idaho, for any reason, revealed it to be a 'sad' occasion:
- 94% of participants who identified themselves as 'Twin Falls residents' checked the box for feeling 'extremely sad' to be headed home and that taking a half-full commercial airline flight, somehow, made it much sadder.
Of all the non-resident passengers:
- 7% trying to get to Sun Valley
- 81% realized they were on wrong flight and de-planed
- 3% lost bet
- 9% simply too sad to disclose why they had paid money for a flight to Twin Falls
The pilots and flight attendants, when asked how 'sad' it was to be running air shuttles between Salt Lake City and Twin Falls, concluded there was 'none more sad'. It was also revealed that the flight crews working the route were actually being punished by their employer which could be compared to the Catholic church banishing pederast priests to little, out of sight parishes in 3rd world countries instead of reporting their crimes to the authorities. In summary, the Twin Falls flight crews are the 'choir boy fuckers' of Delta.