What I wish I knew before I started dating one of my best friends
Sammy Nickalls Updated Nov 10, 2015 @ 6:54 am
jess nick
Almost a year ago now, I started dating one of my good friends. I had known him for ages—for almost ten years now, in fact!—but only relatively recently did we realize our true feelings for each other and make it official. And let me tell you—it's the best thing ever.
Dating my good friend is amazing, but it also can come with a lot of realizations and life lessons. Here's what I've learned from being with a partner who was, first and foremost, my buddy.
It's the most comfortable relationship EVER
There's none of that awkwardness at the beginning. You guys already know each other so well, and now you can delve into that relationship in a whole new way. You never thought you could feel as comfortable with anyone as you do with your partner, because you and your partner have already known each other for so long.
Your other friends may feel a bit weird about the whole thing at first
You're going to have some friends who think your relationship with your friend-turned-partner is the CUTEST THING EVER. . . and then some who feel a little weird and uncomfortable around you. That's normal! Everyone will get used to it soon; all that matters is that you're happy with your partner.
Your partner knows about all your exes
OK, this could sound like a bad thing, but think about it. They've been there when you went through issues with your exes. They know about all the stuff they did that hurt you. And they knows exactly what not to do—as well as what they can do to make you truly, unequivocally happy.
That build-up before you started dating? Yeah, that was hot.
The butterflies you get with a crush—especially when said crush likes you back—was the best ever because it was your FRIEND who you hang out with already. Getting extra excited for friend hangouts, making cutely awkward eye-contact, brushing against each other just a little more often than you used to. . . *sighs with happiness*
Feeling like a couple straight out of a movie is kinda great…
I remember a couple days after my boyfriend and I first started dating when he looked at me grinning and said, "Damn, our story is SO cute."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, we met each other in middle school, when we had the same math class together. We both had crushes on each other in that class, but didn't do anything about it because we were too nervous and young. For the next several years, we both had crushes on each other, but never at the right time. And now, when we're in our 20s, we're finally dating. It's like a movie."
Yeah, OK, pretty darn cute.
…but not always accurate.
Just because you have a super cute story doesn't mean it's always easy. Dating your good friend makes the honeymoon period all the sweeter, but it can be hard, just like any other relationship. Yes, being friends beforehand helps you navigate issues, but it's still a relationship, and you're still two separate people; you can't expect to have a problem-free relationship that feels like it's straight out of a movie 24/7.
But fighting is so much easier because of it
You may have already fought as friends, and because you know each other so well, it's not about the big drama and screaming match, followed by flowers and making out. It's about coming to a reconciliation.(And then making out.)
Your partner knows—and loves—your faults from the get-go
They were already totally aware of the fact that you can be really stubborn when you believe in something, or that you tend to be really late to appointments, or that you're a bit of a slob. They know all this, and they love it all. They love it so much that they wanted to become as close to you as possible. There's something so beautiful about that.
It's a great, great feeling
Every time you look at your partner, you grin and think of all the years you've had together—first as friends, then as partners. Part of you wonders why you guys didn't date earlier, but the other part wouldn't change a thing, because you know you're so, so lucky to have each other. <3
(Image via FOX)