Dataset Preview
The full dataset viewer is not available (click to read why). Only showing a preview of the rows.
The dataset generation failed because of a cast error
Error code: DatasetGenerationCastError
Exception: DatasetGenerationCastError
Message: An error occurred while generating the dataset
All the data files must have the same columns, but at some point there are 1 new columns ({'user_statement'}) and 2 missing columns ({'chunks', 'text'}).
This happened while the json dataset builder was generating data using
hf://datasets/qibai/FLEXI/model_interruption/1/source_statement.json (at revision a9498bc96d14c5b0ac294bdf2ee391c07487e2ca)
Please either edit the data files to have matching columns, or separate them into different configurations (see docs at https://hf.co/docs/hub/datasets-manual-configuration#multiple-configurations)
Traceback: Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1831, in _prepare_split_single
writer.write_table(table)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/arrow_writer.py", line 644, in write_table
pa_table = table_cast(pa_table, self._schema)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2272, in table_cast
return cast_table_to_schema(table, schema)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2218, in cast_table_to_schema
raise CastError(
datasets.table.CastError: Couldn't cast
user_statement: string
to
{'text': Value('string'), 'chunks': List({'text': Value('string'), 'timestamp': List(Value('float64'))})}
because column names don't match
During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred:
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/src/services/worker/src/worker/job_runners/config/parquet_and_info.py", line 1456, in compute_config_parquet_and_info_response
parquet_operations = convert_to_parquet(builder)
File "/src/services/worker/src/worker/job_runners/config/parquet_and_info.py", line 1055, in convert_to_parquet
builder.download_and_prepare(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 894, in download_and_prepare
self._download_and_prepare(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 970, in _download_and_prepare
self._prepare_split(split_generator, **prepare_split_kwargs)
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1702, in _prepare_split
for job_id, done, content in self._prepare_split_single(
File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1833, in _prepare_split_single
raise DatasetGenerationCastError.from_cast_error(
datasets.exceptions.DatasetGenerationCastError: An error occurred while generating the dataset
All the data files must have the same columns, but at some point there are 1 new columns ({'user_statement'}) and 2 missing columns ({'chunks', 'text'}).
This happened while the json dataset builder was generating data using
hf://datasets/qibai/FLEXI/model_interruption/1/source_statement.json (at revision a9498bc96d14c5b0ac294bdf2ee391c07487e2ca)
Please either edit the data files to have matching columns, or separate them into different configurations (see docs at https://hf.co/docs/hub/datasets-manual-configuration#multiple-configurations)Need help to make the dataset viewer work? Make sure to review how to configure the dataset viewer, and open a discussion for direct support.
text
string | chunks
list |
|---|---|
So I was telling you about my trip to the mountains last weekend. Right? It was absolutely breathtaking. The air was so crisp and clean, and the view from the summit just made you feel like you were on top of the world. We hiked for about four hours to get there.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "telling",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "trip",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "mountains",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "last",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "weekend.",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "Right?",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "It",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "absolutely",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "breathtaking.",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "air",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "crisp",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "clean,",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
10
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
10.24,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.56
]
},
{
"text": "view",
"timestamp": [
10.56,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "summit",
"timestamp": [
11.28,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.16
]
},
{
"text": "made",
"timestamp": [
12.16,
12.4
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
12.4,
12.56
]
},
{
"text": "feel",
"timestamp": [
12.56,
12.8
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
12.8,
13.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
13.040000000000001,
13.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "were",
"timestamp": [
13.200000000000001,
13.36
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
13.36,
13.52
]
},
{
"text": "top",
"timestamp": [
13.6,
13.92
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
13.92,
14.08
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
14.08,
14.32
]
},
{
"text": "world.",
"timestamp": [
14.32,
14.48
]
},
{
"text": "We",
"timestamp": [
15.040000000000001,
15.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "hiked",
"timestamp": [
15.200000000000001,
15.68
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
15.68,
15.92
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
15.92,
16.240000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "four",
"timestamp": [
16.240000000000002,
16.48
]
},
{
"text": "hours",
"timestamp": [
16.48,
16.88
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
16.88,
17.12
]
},
{
"text": "get",
"timestamp": [
17.12,
17.36
]
},
{
"text": "there.",
"timestamp": [
17.36,
17.52
]
}
] |
We went to the farmers' market on Saturday, and it was packed. They had all this amazing fresh produce, and we bought some incredible peaches. They were so sweet and juicy. I'm thinking of making a peach cablo with them later this week.
|
[
{
"text": "We",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "went",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "farmers'",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "market",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "Saturday,",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "packed.",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "They",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "had",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "amazing",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "fresh",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "produce,",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
8
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "we",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "some",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "incredible",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "peaches.",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "They",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.36
]
},
{
"text": "were",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "sweet",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.24
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
12.24,
12.4
]
},
{
"text": "juicy.",
"timestamp": [
12.4,
12.96
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
13.280000000000001,
13.6
]
},
{
"text": "thinking",
"timestamp": [
13.6,
14
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
14,
14.24
]
},
{
"text": "making",
"timestamp": [
14.24,
14.56
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
14.56,
14.72
]
},
{
"text": "peach",
"timestamp": [
14.72,
15.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "cablo",
"timestamp": [
15.120000000000001,
15.68
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
15.76,
15.92
]
},
{
"text": "them",
"timestamp": [
15.92,
16.16
]
},
{
"text": "later",
"timestamp": [
16.16,
16.56
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
16.56,
16.8
]
},
{
"text": "week.",
"timestamp": [
16.8,
17.04
]
}
] |
I've been thinking about how much technology has changed just in my lifetime. I remember having to use dial up Internet, and now we have super fast broadband in our pockets. It's pretty incredible to have witnessed that kind of rapid transformation.
|
[
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "been",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "thinking",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "how",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "much",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "technology",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "changed",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
4
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "lifetime.",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
6
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "remember",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "having",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "use",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8
]
},
{
"text": "dial",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "up",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "Internet,",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "we",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "super",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "fast",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "broadband",
"timestamp": [
11.200000000000001,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.08
]
},
{
"text": "our",
"timestamp": [
12.08,
12.24
]
},
{
"text": "pockets.",
"timestamp": [
12.24,
13.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
13.44,
13.84
]
},
{
"text": "pretty",
"timestamp": [
13.84,
14.24
]
},
{
"text": "incredible",
"timestamp": [
14.24,
14.88
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
14.88,
15.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
15.040000000000001,
15.280000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "witnessed",
"timestamp": [
15.280000000000001,
15.92
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
15.92,
16.16
]
},
{
"text": "kind",
"timestamp": [
16.16,
16.4
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
16.4,
16.64
]
},
{
"text": "rapid",
"timestamp": [
16.64,
17.2
]
},
{
"text": "transformation.",
"timestamp": [
17.2,
17.92
]
}
] |
You know that new Safi movie everyone's talking about? I finally saw it, and honestly, I was a little let down. The special effects were incredible, don't get me wrong, but the plot just felt so predictable like I'd seen it a dozen times before.
|
[
{
"text": "You",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "know",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "Safi",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "movie",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "everyone's",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "talking",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "about?",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "finally",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "saw",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "it,",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "honestly,",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "little",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "let",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "down.",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "special",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "effects",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "were",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "incredible,",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.56
]
},
{
"text": "don't",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "get",
"timestamp": [
11.200000000000001,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "wrong,",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
11.92
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
12.16,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.48
]
},
{
"text": "plot",
"timestamp": [
12.48,
12.88
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
12.96
]
},
{
"text": "felt",
"timestamp": [
13.200000000000001,
13.52
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
13.52,
13.76
]
},
{
"text": "predictable",
"timestamp": [
13.76,
14.4
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
14.56,
14.8
]
},
{
"text": "I'd",
"timestamp": [
14.8,
15.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "seen",
"timestamp": [
15.120000000000001,
15.36
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
15.36,
15.6
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
15.6,
15.76
]
},
{
"text": "dozen",
"timestamp": [
15.76,
16.240000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "times",
"timestamp": [
16.240000000000002,
16.72
]
},
{
"text": "before.",
"timestamp": [
16.72,
17.04
]
}
] |
Things at work have been absolutely wild lately. We have this new project manager who's trying to change everything at once, and nobody really knows what they're supposed to be doing. It's organized chaos, but hopefully things will settle down soon enough.
|
[
{
"text": "Things",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "work",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "been",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "absolutely",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "wild",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "lately.",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "We",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "project",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "manager",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "who's",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "trying",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "change",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "everything",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "once,",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "nobody",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "really",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "knows",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "what",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "they're",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "supposed",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "be",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "doing.",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "organized",
"timestamp": [
10.24,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "chaos,",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.36
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
11.52,
11.68
]
},
{
"text": "hopefully",
"timestamp": [
11.68,
12.16
]
},
{
"text": "things",
"timestamp": [
12.16,
12.4
]
},
{
"text": "will",
"timestamp": [
12.4,
12.64
]
},
{
"text": "settle",
"timestamp": [
12.64,
13.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "down",
"timestamp": [
13.040000000000001,
13.280000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "soon",
"timestamp": [
13.280000000000001,
13.6
]
},
{
"text": "enough.",
"timestamp": [
13.6,
13.84
]
}
] |
So I tried making home made pasta this weekend, and completely underestimated how long it take. By the time the sauce was ready my cat had already eaten half the dough balls off the counter. Now I've got flour stuck in every corner of my kitchen.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "making",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "home",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "made",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "pasta",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "weekend,",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "completely",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "underestimated",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "how",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "long",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "take.",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "By",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "time",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "sauce",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "ready",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "cat",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "had",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "already",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "eaten",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "half",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "dough",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "balls",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.48
]
},
{
"text": "off",
"timestamp": [
10.48,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "counter.",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
11.52,
11.68
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
11.76,
12.08
]
},
{
"text": "got",
"timestamp": [
12.08,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "flour",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.72
]
},
{
"text": "stuck",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
13.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
13.200000000000001,
13.36
]
},
{
"text": "every",
"timestamp": [
13.36,
13.6
]
},
{
"text": "corner",
"timestamp": [
13.6,
13.92
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
13.92,
14.08
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
14.08,
14.24
]
},
{
"text": "kitchen.",
"timestamp": [
14.24,
14.64
]
}
] |
Ever noticed how airport security lines feel longer every year? Last week they made me take out my laptop, headphones, belt, shoes, and even my mints. I swear they're gonna ask me to unpack my soul next time.
|
[
{
"text": "Ever",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "noticed",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "how",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "airport",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "security",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "lines",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "feel",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "longer",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "every",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "year?",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "Last",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "week",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "they",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "made",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "take",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "laptop,",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "headphones,",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
8
]
},
{
"text": "belt,",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "shoes,",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "even",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.32
]
},
{
"text": "mints.",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
11.28,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "swear",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "they're",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.16
]
},
{
"text": "gonna",
"timestamp": [
12.16,
12.24
]
},
{
"text": "ask",
"timestamp": [
12.48,
12.72
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
12.72,
12.8
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
12.8,
13.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "unpack",
"timestamp": [
13.040000000000001,
13.6
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
13.6,
13.76
]
},
{
"text": "soul",
"timestamp": [
13.76,
14.32
]
},
{
"text": "next",
"timestamp": [
14.32,
14.48
]
},
{
"text": "time.",
"timestamp": [
14.48,
14.72
]
}
] |
The weirdest thing happened at the gym yesterday. I was mid squat when my phone started playing Baby Shark on full volume. Turns out my niece reprogrammed my playlist. Now everyone thinks I'm that guy who squats to nursery rhymes.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "weirdest",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "thing",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "happened",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "gym",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "yesterday.",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "mid",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "squat",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "phone",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "playing",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "Baby",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
6
]
},
{
"text": "Shark",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "full",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "volume.",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "niece",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "reprogrammed",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
10
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "playlist.",
"timestamp": [
10.24,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "everyone",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
12
]
},
{
"text": "thinks",
"timestamp": [
12,
12.4
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
12.4,
12.72
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
12.8,
13.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "guy",
"timestamp": [
13.040000000000001,
13.36
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
13.36,
13.6
]
},
{
"text": "squats",
"timestamp": [
13.6,
14.08
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
14.08,
14.24
]
},
{
"text": "nursery",
"timestamp": [
14.24,
14.64
]
},
{
"text": "rhymes.",
"timestamp": [
14.64,
15.040000000000001
]
}
] |
Why do hotel pillows always feel amazing? But then when you check out they suddenly weigh twenty pounds. I tried smuggling one in my suitcase last time, but felt guilty, and left it by the bed with a thank you note.
|
[
{
"text": "Why",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "do",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "hotel",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "pillows",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "always",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2
]
},
{
"text": "feel",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "amazing?",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "But",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "then",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "check",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
4
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "they",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "suddenly",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "weigh",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "twenty",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "pounds.",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "smuggling",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "one",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8
]
},
{
"text": "suitcase",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "last",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "time,",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "felt",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "guilty,",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "left",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.64
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
10.64,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "by",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "bed",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.36
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
11.52
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
11.52,
11.68
]
},
{
"text": "thank",
"timestamp": [
11.68,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
12,
12.08
]
},
{
"text": "note.",
"timestamp": [
12.24,
12.48
]
}
] |
You ever have those days where your coffee goes cold before you get to drink it? To day I reheated it three times, and now my mug has more microwave time than actual coffee. Adulting is exhausting.
|
[
{
"text": "You",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "ever",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "those",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "days",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "where",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "your",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "coffee",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "goes",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "cold",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "before",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "get",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "drink",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "it?",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "To",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "day",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "reheated",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "three",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "times,",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "mug",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "more",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "microwave",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "time",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "than",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "actual",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "coffee.",
"timestamp": [
10.24,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "Adulting",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
11.76,
11.92
]
},
{
"text": "exhausting.",
"timestamp": [
11.92,
12.56
]
}
] |
So my neighbor's parrot learned to mimic my alarm clock. Now every morning at six thirty there's this fake rooster sound coming from his balcony. I've started leaving birdseed on my window sill as a peace offering.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "neighbor's",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "parrot",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "learned",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "mimic",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "alarm",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "clock.",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "every",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4
]
},
{
"text": "morning",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "six",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "thirty",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "there's",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "fake",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "rooster",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "sound",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "coming",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "his",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "balcony.",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "leaving",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "birdseed",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.48
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
10.48,
10.64
]
},
{
"text": "window",
"timestamp": [
10.64,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "sill",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "as",
"timestamp": [
11.28,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
11.52
]
},
{
"text": "peace",
"timestamp": [
11.52,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "offering.",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.24
]
}
] |
I bought this miracle vacuum that promised to pick up pet hair, but now it's stuck in a power struggle with my rug. They should market it as a stress relief device for humans, since I scream at it daily.
|
[
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "miracle",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "vacuum",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "promised",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "pick",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "up",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "pet",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4
]
},
{
"text": "hair,",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "stuck",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "power",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "struggle",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "rug.",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "They",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "should",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "market",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "as",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "stress",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
10
]
},
{
"text": "relief",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "device",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "humans,",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "since",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.16
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
12.16,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "scream",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.72
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
12.72,
12.88
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
13.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "daily.",
"timestamp": [
13.040000000000001,
13.36
]
}
] |
I've been re reading an old favorite book of mine, and it's amazing how different it feels reading it now compared to when I was a teenager. I'm picking up on all these themes and subtleties that just went completely over my head back then.
|
[
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "been",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "re",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "reading",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "an",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "old",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "favorite",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "book",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "mine,",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "amazing",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "how",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "different",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "feels",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "reading",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "compared",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
8
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "teenager.",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "picking",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "up",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
11.76
]
},
{
"text": "these",
"timestamp": [
11.76,
12.08
]
},
{
"text": "themes",
"timestamp": [
12.08,
12.64
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
12.64,
12.88
]
},
{
"text": "subtleties",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
13.76
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
13.76,
14.08
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
14.08,
14.32
]
},
{
"text": "went",
"timestamp": [
14.32,
14.72
]
},
{
"text": "completely",
"timestamp": [
14.72,
15.52
]
},
{
"text": "over",
"timestamp": [
15.52,
15.76
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
15.76,
16
]
},
{
"text": "head",
"timestamp": [
16,
16.4
]
},
{
"text": "back",
"timestamp": [
16.4,
16.72
]
},
{
"text": "then.",
"timestamp": [
16.72,
16.96
]
}
] |
the coffee shop near my office, started using those paper straws every one hates. Yesterday mine disintegrated midsip, and I ended up with a face full of iced lot. Now I just chew my cold brew beans whole.
|
[
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "coffee",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "shop",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "near",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "office,",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "using",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "those",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "paper",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "straws",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "every",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "one",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "hates.",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "Yesterday",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "mine",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "disintegrated",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "midsip,",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "ended",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "up",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "face",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "full",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.32
]
},
{
"text": "iced",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "lot.",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.08
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
12.08,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "chew",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.72
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
12.72,
12.96
]
},
{
"text": "cold",
"timestamp": [
12.96,
13.36
]
},
{
"text": "brew",
"timestamp": [
13.36,
13.84
]
},
{
"text": "beans",
"timestamp": [
13.84,
14.32
]
},
{
"text": "whole.",
"timestamp": [
14.32,
14.72
]
}
] |
So I downloaded that meditation app. Everyone raves about five minutes in. The instructor said, Embrace your inner stillness. And I got a notification my burger delivery was at the door. Priorities, you know.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "downloaded",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "meditation",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "app.",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "Everyone",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "raves",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "five",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "minutes",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "in.",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "instructor",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "said,",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "Embrace",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "your",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "inner",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
8
]
},
{
"text": "stillness.",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "And",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "got",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "notification",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.56
]
},
{
"text": "burger",
"timestamp": [
10.56,
11.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "delivery",
"timestamp": [
11.040000000000001,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
11.76
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
11.76,
11.92
]
},
{
"text": "door.",
"timestamp": [
11.92,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "Priorities,",
"timestamp": [
12.64,
13.280000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
13.36,
13.44
]
},
{
"text": "know.",
"timestamp": [
13.44,
13.6
]
}
] |
My phone auter, correct, is out to ruin my life. Last night it changed. I'll bring wine too. I'll bring wolverine. Now my friend thinks I'm arriving with a Marvel Superterio instead of Pinot Noir,
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "phone",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "auter,",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "correct,",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "ruin",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "life.",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "Last",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "night",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "changed.",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "I'll",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "bring",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "wine",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "too.",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "I'll",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "bring",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8
]
},
{
"text": "wolverine.",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "friend",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "thinks",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.64
]
},
{
"text": "arriving",
"timestamp": [
10.64,
11.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
11.040000000000001,
11.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
11.200000000000001,
11.36
]
},
{
"text": "Marvel",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
11.76
]
},
{
"text": "Superterio",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.8
]
},
{
"text": "instead",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
13.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
13.120000000000001,
13.280000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "Pinot",
"timestamp": [
13.280000000000001,
13.68
]
},
{
"text": "Noir,",
"timestamp": [
13.92,
14.24
]
}
] |
Ever tried explaining TikTok trends to your parents? My mom now thinks viral videos are government surveillance. She's convinced the algorithm is tracking her salad consumption through the fridge camera.
|
[
{
"text": "Ever",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "explaining",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "TikTok",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "trends",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "your",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "parents?",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "mom",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "thinks",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "viral",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "videos",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "government",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "surveillance.",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "She's",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "convinced",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "algorithm",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "tracking",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
10
]
},
{
"text": "her",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "salad",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.64
]
},
{
"text": "consumption",
"timestamp": [
10.64,
11.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "through",
"timestamp": [
11.200000000000001,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "fridge",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
12
]
},
{
"text": "camera.",
"timestamp": [
12,
12.4
]
}
] |
The laundromat near my place replaced all machines with ap controlled ones. Now I have to choose between folding underwear in public or risking my towels getting stolen by the sock bandit who haunts that place.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.16
]
},
{
"text": "laundromat",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "near",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "place",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "replaced",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "machines",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "ap",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "controlled",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "ones.",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "choose",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "between",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "folding",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "underwear",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "public",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "risking",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "towels",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "getting",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "stolen",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "by",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
10.24,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "sock",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "bandit",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
11.52
]
},
{
"text": "haunts",
"timestamp": [
11.52,
12
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
12,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "place.",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.56
]
}
] |
so I tried meal prepping, and accidentally made eight pounds of chili. My freezer now looks like a crime scene with Ziplik bags of red sludge. I'm either becoming a soup bandit or opening a questionable food truck.
|
[
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "meal",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "prepping,",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2
]
},
{
"text": "accidentally",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "made",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "eight",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "pounds",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "chili.",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "freezer",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "looks",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "crime",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "scene",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "Ziplik",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "bags",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "red",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "sludge.",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "either",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
10
]
},
{
"text": "becoming",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.32
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "soup",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "bandit",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "opening",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
12.08
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
12.08,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "questionable",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.88
]
},
{
"text": "food",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
13.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "truck.",
"timestamp": [
13.200000000000001,
13.52
]
}
] |
My co worker swears her plants grow faster when she yells at them. Yesterday she started yelling about Q four projections at a fern, and now it's thriving. I'm considering screaming financial reports at my dead laptop.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "co",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "worker",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "swears",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "her",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "plants",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "grow",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "faster",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "she",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "yells",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "them.",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "Yesterday",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "she",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "yelling",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6
]
},
{
"text": "Q",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "four",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "projections",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "fern,",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
8
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "thriving.",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "considering",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "screaming",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "financial",
"timestamp": [
11.28,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "reports",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.48
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
12.48,
12.64
]
},
{
"text": "dead",
"timestamp": [
12.64,
12.96
]
},
{
"text": "laptop.",
"timestamp": [
12.96,
13.52
]
}
] |
You know those easy assembly furniture kits. I spent two hours building a bookshelf and have three screws left. Either I'm a genius who invented miniest furniture, or my apartment will collapse to night.
|
[
{
"text": "You",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "know",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "those",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "easy",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "assembly",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "furniture",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "kits.",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "spent",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "two",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "hours",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "building",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "bookshelf",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "three",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "screws",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "left.",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "Either",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8
]
},
{
"text": "genius",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "invented",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "miniest",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "furniture,",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
10.64,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "apartment",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "will",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
11.84
]
},
{
"text": "collapse",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.48
]
},
{
"text": "night.",
"timestamp": [
12.48,
12.8
]
}
] |
The grocery store near me changed their self check out scanners. Now I get unexpected item in bagging area more often than actual groceries. It's like the machines are gaslighting me about my shopping habits.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "grocery",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "store",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "near",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "changed",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "their",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "self",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "check",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "scanners.",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "get",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "unexpected",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "item",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "bagging",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "area",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "more",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "often",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "than",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "actual",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.48
]
},
{
"text": "groceries.",
"timestamp": [
10.48,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
11.92
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
11.92,
12.16
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
12.16,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "machines",
"timestamp": [
12.32,
12.96
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
12.96,
13.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "gaslighting",
"timestamp": [
13.120000000000001,
13.92
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
13.92,
14.08
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
14.08,
14.4
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
14.4,
14.56
]
},
{
"text": "shopping",
"timestamp": [
14.56,
15.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "habits.",
"timestamp": [
15.040000000000001,
15.44
]
}
] |
So I tried yoga for the first time and immediately pulled something. Turns out Downward Dog is just a position for people to judge my flexibility while I whimper quietly.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "yoga",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "first",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2
]
},
{
"text": "time",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "immediately",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "pulled",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
4
]
},
{
"text": "something.",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "Downward",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "Dog",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "position",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "people",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "judge",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "flexibility",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "while",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.32
]
},
{
"text": "whimper",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "quietly.",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.52
]
}
] |
A car started making this really weird noise this morning sort of a rattling sound whenever I accelerate. I'm hoping it's nothing serious, but I have a bad feeling about it. I'll have to take it to the mechanic first thing to morrow and see what's up.
|
[
{
"text": "A",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.16
]
},
{
"text": "car",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "making",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "really",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "weird",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "noise",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "morning",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "sort",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "rattling",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "sound",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "whenever",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "accelerate.",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
8
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "hoping",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "nothing",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "serious,",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.48
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
11.040000000000001,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
11.28,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "bad",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
12
]
},
{
"text": "feeling",
"timestamp": [
12,
12.48
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
12.48,
12.8
]
},
{
"text": "it.",
"timestamp": [
12.8,
13.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "I'll",
"timestamp": [
13.36,
13.76
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
13.76,
13.92
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
13.92,
14.08
]
},
{
"text": "take",
"timestamp": [
14.08,
14.32
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
14.32,
14.48
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
14.48,
14.64
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
14.64,
14.8
]
},
{
"text": "mechanic",
"timestamp": [
14.8,
15.6
]
},
{
"text": "first",
"timestamp": [
15.6,
15.92
]
},
{
"text": "thing",
"timestamp": [
15.92,
16.16
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
16.16,
16.32
]
},
{
"text": "morrow",
"timestamp": [
16.32,
16.8
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
16.8,
17.04
]
},
{
"text": "see",
"timestamp": [
17.04,
17.28
]
},
{
"text": "what's",
"timestamp": [
17.28,
17.68
]
},
{
"text": "up.",
"timestamp": [
17.68,
17.92
]
}
] |
My roommate's candle collection has become a security hazard. Last week Cozy Cabin caused a smoke alarm riot. Now we have a candle curfew and a permanent open window policy.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "roommate's",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "candle",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "collection",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "become",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "security",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "hazard.",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "Last",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
4
]
},
{
"text": "week",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "Cozy",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "Cabin",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "caused",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "smoke",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "alarm",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "riot.",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "we",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "candle",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "curfew",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "permanent",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "open",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "window",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.64
]
},
{
"text": "policy.",
"timestamp": [
10.64,
11.120000000000001
]
}
] |
The new streaming service passwords are impossible. I've got twelve different logins, and none except my dog's birthday. At this rate I'll need a password manager tattoo to remember them all.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "streaming",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "service",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "passwords",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "impossible.",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "got",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "twelve",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "different",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "logins,",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
6
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "none",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "except",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "dog's",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "birthday.",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "At",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "rate",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "I'll",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "need",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "password",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.64
]
},
{
"text": "manager",
"timestamp": [
10.64,
11.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "tattoo",
"timestamp": [
11.200000000000001,
11.76
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
11.84,
12
]
},
{
"text": "remember",
"timestamp": [
12,
12.4
]
},
{
"text": "them",
"timestamp": [
12.4,
12.64
]
},
{
"text": "all.",
"timestamp": [
12.64,
12.88
]
}
] |
So I accidentally joined a cult while googling hiking trails. Now my indox is full of ascension seminars and crystal healing webinars. Turns out finding yourself is expensive.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "accidentally",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "joined",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "cult",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "while",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "googling",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "hiking",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "trails.",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "indox",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "full",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "ascension",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "seminars",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "crystal",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
8
]
},
{
"text": "healing",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "webinars.",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "finding",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.32
]
},
{
"text": "yourself",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "expensive.",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.44
]
}
] |
My gym towel has become a biohazard. I'm pretty sure it's developed its own ecosystem. The other day I swear I saw it move toward the water bottle on its own.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "gym",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "towel",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "become",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "biohazard.",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "pretty",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "sure",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "developed",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "its",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "own",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "ecosystem.",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "other",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "day",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "swear",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "saw",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "move",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "toward",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "water",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "bottle",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "its",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "own.",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
9.92
]
}
] |
the pizza place near me started offering mystery tomm inks. I got what looked like pickles and raisins. Either I've discovered the next food trend, or committed a culinary war crime.
|
[
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "pizza",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "place",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "near",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "offering",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "mystery",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "tomm",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "inks.",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "got",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4
]
},
{
"text": "what",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "looked",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "pickles",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "raisins.",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "Either",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "discovered",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "next",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "food",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "trend,",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "committed",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "culinary",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "war",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "crime.",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.48
]
}
] |
so my plant died, despite expert care, according to the app, turns out over watering. Is an hyderation encouragement. Now I'm suspicious of all digital advice, including this conversation.
|
[
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "plant",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "died,",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "despite",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "expert",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "care,",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "according",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4
]
},
{
"text": "app,",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "turns",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "over",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "watering.",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "Is",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "an",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "hyderation",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
8
]
},
{
"text": "encouragement.",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "suspicious",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "digital",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.76
]
},
{
"text": "advice,",
"timestamp": [
11.76,
12.24
]
},
{
"text": "including",
"timestamp": [
12.56,
13.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
13.120000000000001,
13.36
]
},
{
"text": "conversation.",
"timestamp": [
13.36,
14
]
}
] |
The movie theater popcorn butter is pure alchemy. It coats every surface including my phone screen. Last week I answered a call with melted cheese on my cheek. Classy experience.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "movie",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "theater",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "popcorn",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "butter",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "pure",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "alchemy.",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "It",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "coats",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
4
]
},
{
"text": "every",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "surface",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "including",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "phone",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6
]
},
{
"text": "screen.",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "Last",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "week",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "answered",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "call",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "melted",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "cheese",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "cheek.",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "Classy",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
11.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "experience.",
"timestamp": [
11.040000000000001,
11.68
]
}
] |
My smart speaker started playing jazz funerals when I asked for light music. Now I'm convinced it's haunted by a New Orleans ghost with a grudge against Alexa.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "smart",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "speaker",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "playing",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "jazz",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "funerals",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "asked",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "light",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "music.",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "convinced",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "haunted",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "by",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "New",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "Orleans",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "ghost",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "grudge",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "against",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "Alexa.",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
10.32
]
}
] |
So I tried online dating and matched with a guy who claimed to live off Ridd. But his profile picture had Wi Fi bars. Turns out he's just bad at lying and really likes hiking.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "online",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "dating",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
2
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "matched",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "guy",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "claimed",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "live",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "off",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "Ridd.",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "But",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "his",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "profile",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "picture",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "had",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "Wi",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "Fi",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "bars.",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
8
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "he's",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "bad",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "lying",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.56
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
10.56,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "really",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "likes",
"timestamp": [
11.040000000000001,
11.36
]
},
{
"text": "hiking.",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
11.84
]
}
] |
The laundromat dryers now charge by the minute I'm basically paying rent to my socks, considering starting a support group for laundry prisoners.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "laundromat",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "dryers",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "charge",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "by",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "minute",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "basically",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "paying",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "rent",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "socks,",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "considering",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "starting",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "support",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "group",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "laundry",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "prisoners.",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.72
]
}
] |
So my sister just announced that she's engaged. We're all so excited for her. Her fiance is a really great guy, and they seem so happy together. Now the crazy wedding planning is about to begin, which is going to be a whole adventure in itself.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "sister",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "announced",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "she's",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "engaged.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "We're",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "excited",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "her.",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "Her",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "fiance",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "really",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "great",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "guy,",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "they",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.32
]
},
{
"text": "seem",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "happy",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.36
]
},
{
"text": "together.",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
12.32
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
12.64,
12.96
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
12.96,
13.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "crazy",
"timestamp": [
13.200000000000001,
13.68
]
},
{
"text": "wedding",
"timestamp": [
13.68,
14.16
]
},
{
"text": "planning",
"timestamp": [
14.16,
14.72
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
14.72,
15.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
15.040000000000001,
15.280000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
15.280000000000001,
15.44
]
},
{
"text": "begin,",
"timestamp": [
15.44,
16.080000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "which",
"timestamp": [
16.4,
16.64
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
16.64,
16.96
]
},
{
"text": "going",
"timestamp": [
16.96,
17.12
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
17.12,
17.28
]
},
{
"text": "be",
"timestamp": [
17.28,
17.44
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
17.44,
17.68
]
},
{
"text": "whole",
"timestamp": [
17.68,
18
]
},
{
"text": "adventure",
"timestamp": [
18,
18.72
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
18.72,
18.88
]
},
{
"text": "itself.",
"timestamp": [
18.88,
19.2
]
}
] |
My co worker brought a TM building puzzle that's been eighty per cent done for three weeks. It's become a passive aggressive war zone. Someone keeps hiding the corner pieces.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "co",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "worker",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "brought",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "TM",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "building",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "puzzle",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "that's",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "been",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "eighty",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "per",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "cent",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4
]
},
{
"text": "done",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "three",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "weeks.",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6
]
},
{
"text": "become",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "passive",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "aggressive",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "war",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "zone.",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "Someone",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "keeps",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "hiding",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "corner",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.48
]
},
{
"text": "pieces.",
"timestamp": [
10.48,
10.88
]
}
] |
So I bought all natural laundry detergent that smells like a forest fire. The label says Camp Fire Freshness, but I'm pretty sure my clothes are ready for an evacuation drill.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "natural",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "laundry",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "detergent",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "smells",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "forest",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "fire.",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "label",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "says",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "Camp",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "Fire",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "Freshness,",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "pretty",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "sure",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "clothes",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "ready",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "an",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10
]
},
{
"text": "evacuation",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "drill.",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.200000000000001
]
}
] |
The new coffee shop. Barista knows my order, but still messes up the spelling on my name. I've gone from Alex to Alien to Alpaca. I'm waiting for Esim Toad next.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "coffee",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "shop.",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "Barista",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "knows",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "order,",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "still",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "messes",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "up",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4
]
},
{
"text": "spelling",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "name.",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "gone",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "Alex",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "Alien",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "Alpaca.",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "waiting",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "Esim",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "Toad",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "next.",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
9.92
]
}
] |
My phone storage is eighty per cent kent tents of text conversations and receipts. I'm basically carrying everyone's evidence against me in one device.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "phone",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "storage",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "eighty",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "per",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "cent",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "kent",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "tents",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "text",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "conversations",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "receipts.",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "basically",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "carrying",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "everyone's",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "evidence",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "against",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "one",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "device.",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.6
]
}
] |
So I tried being present at brunch and put my phone away. Turns out people talk way more when you can't fact check their conspiracy theories.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "being",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "present",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "brunch",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "put",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "phone",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "away.",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "people",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "talk",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "way",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "more",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "can't",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "fact",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "check",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "their",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "conspiracy",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "theories.",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.52
]
}
] |
The apartment maintenance guy said, My garbage disposal needs therapy. Turns out jamming spatulas down there, isn't recommended, who knew?
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "apartment",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "maintenance",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "guy",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "said,",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "garbage",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "disposal",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "needs",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4
]
},
{
"text": "therapy.",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "jamming",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "spatulas",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "down",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "there,",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "isn't",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "recommended,",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "knew?",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.96
]
}
] |
My neighbour's cat has declared war on my plants. Yesterday it buried a dead beetle in my basil. We're in a stalemate now, with both sides losing dignity.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "neighbour's",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "cat",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "declared",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "war",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "plants.",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "Yesterday",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "buried",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "dead",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "beetle",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "basil.",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "We're",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8
]
},
{
"text": "stalemate",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "now,",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "both",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "sides",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "losing",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.32
]
},
{
"text": "dignity.",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.88
]
}
] |
So I signed up for a cooking class, and learned knives are terrifying. Now I'm paranoid about chopping speed. My onions make me cry, for emotional and physical reasons.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "signed",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "up",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "cooking",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "class,",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "learned",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "knives",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "terrifying.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "paranoid",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "chopping",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "speed.",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "onions",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "make",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "cry,",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "emotional",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "physical",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "reasons.",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
11.28
]
}
] |
The subway ads are all about self care, while I'm stuck in a packed train eating a sad salad. Irony has become my cardio.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "subway",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "ads",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "self",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "care,",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "while",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "stuck",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "packed",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4
]
},
{
"text": "train",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "eating",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "sad",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "salad.",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "Irony",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "become",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "cardio.",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.92
]
}
] |
My smart watch now tracks stress levels and constantly judges me. Yesterday it suggested breathing exercises during a work meeting. Management would have loved that.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "smart",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "watch",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "tracks",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "stress",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "levels",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "constantly",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "judges",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "me.",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "Yesterday",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "suggested",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "breathing",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "exercises",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "during",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "work",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "meeting.",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "Management",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
10.48
]
},
{
"text": "would",
"timestamp": [
10.48,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "loved",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "that.",
"timestamp": [
11.28,
11.44
]
}
] |
I'm trying to cut back on sugar, and it's a real struggle. You don't realize how much sugar is in everything until you start looking at the labels. Even things you think are healthy, like yogurt or granola bars, are just loaded with it. It's pretty eye opening.
|
[
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "trying",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "cut",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "back",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "sugar,",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "real",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "struggle.",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "You",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "don't",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "realize",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "how",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "much",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "sugar",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "everything",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "until",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "start",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "looking",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "labels.",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "Even",
"timestamp": [
10.48,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "things",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "you",
"timestamp": [
11.28,
11.52
]
},
{
"text": "think",
"timestamp": [
11.52,
11.76
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
11.76,
11.92
]
},
{
"text": "healthy,",
"timestamp": [
11.92,
12.56
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
13.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "yogurt",
"timestamp": [
13.200000000000001,
13.76
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
13.76,
13.92
]
},
{
"text": "granola",
"timestamp": [
13.92,
14.56
]
},
{
"text": "bars,",
"timestamp": [
14.56,
15.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
15.44,
15.68
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
15.68,
15.92
]
},
{
"text": "loaded",
"timestamp": [
15.92,
16.32
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
16.32,
16.56
]
},
{
"text": "it.",
"timestamp": [
16.56,
16.8
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
17.12,
17.44
]
},
{
"text": "pretty",
"timestamp": [
17.44,
17.68
]
},
{
"text": "eye",
"timestamp": [
17.68,
18
]
},
{
"text": "opening.",
"timestamp": [
18,
18.32
]
}
] |
so I tried thrift shopping and bought a jacket that smells like one thousand nine hundred ninety seven. It's either vintage magic or someone else's memories. Either way, I'm wearing it to impress ghosts.
|
[
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "thrift",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "shopping",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "jacket",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "smells",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "one",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "thousand",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "nine",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "hundred",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "ninety",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "seven.",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "either",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "vintage",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "magic",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "someone",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "else's",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "memories.",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "Either",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "way,",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "wearing",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.56
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
10.56,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
10.88
]
},
{
"text": "impress",
"timestamp": [
10.88,
11.36
]
},
{
"text": "ghosts.",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
11.92
]
}
] |
the co worker who microwaves fish, needs to be stopped. The office smells like a fishing boat disaster every Tuesday. I've started wearing a gas mask, as subtle protest.
|
[
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "co",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "worker",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "microwaves",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "fish,",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "needs",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "be",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "stopped.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "office",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "smells",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "fishing",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "boat",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "disaster",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "every",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "Tuesday.",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "wearing",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "gas",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "mask,",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "as",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "subtle",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "protest.",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.36
]
}
] |
So I bought eco-friendly toothpaste tablets that taste like regret. The packaging says fresh mint, but my taste buds are filing a class action lawsuit.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "eco-friendly",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "toothpaste",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "tablets",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "taste",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "regret.",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "packaging",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "says",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "fresh",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "mint,",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "taste",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "buds",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "filing",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "class",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "action",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "lawsuit.",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.76
]
}
] |
My plant paste cheese isn't melting. It's just sweating. This grilled sandwich looks like a crime scene. I'm questioning life choices now.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "plant",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "paste",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "cheese",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "isn't",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "melting.",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "sweating.",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "This",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "grilled",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "sandwich",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
6
]
},
{
"text": "looks",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "crime",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "scene.",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "questioning",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "life",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "choices",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "now.",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
9.76
]
}
] |
The new streaming passwords require symbols I can't type on my phone. I've created twelve fake purginals, just to remegan details. My identity is now a Kai Kyke's nightmare.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "streaming",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "passwords",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "require",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2
]
},
{
"text": "symbols",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "can't",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "type",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "phone.",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "created",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "twelve",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "fake",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "purginals,",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "remegan",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "details.",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "identity",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "Kai",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "Kyke's",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "nightmare.",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.28
]
}
] |
So I tried working from a cafe, and my laptop battery died. Turns out mobile productivity requires outlets I don't have access to, back to square one with coffee stains.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "working",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "cafe,",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "laptop",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "battery",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "died.",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "mobile",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "productivity",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "requires",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "outlets",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "don't",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "access",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "to,",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "back",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "square",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "one",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "coffee",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "stains.",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.88
]
}
] |
The Laundromatte now has a No Sock Left Behind initiative. They've created a museum of lost socks. I found my missing pair from two thousand nineteen wearing a tiny I survived the Great Washer Uprising shirt.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "Laundromatte",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "No",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "Sock",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "Left",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "Behind",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "initiative.",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "They've",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "created",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "museum",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "lost",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "socks.",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "found",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "missing",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "pair",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "two",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "thousand",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "nineteen",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "wearing",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.56
]
},
{
"text": "tiny",
"timestamp": [
10.56,
11.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
11.52,
11.68
]
},
{
"text": "survived",
"timestamp": [
11.92,
12.56
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
12.56,
12.72
]
},
{
"text": "Great",
"timestamp": [
12.72,
12.96
]
},
{
"text": "Washer",
"timestamp": [
13.040000000000001,
13.44
]
},
{
"text": "Uprising",
"timestamp": [
13.6,
14.16
]
},
{
"text": "shirt.",
"timestamp": [
14.32,
14.72
]
}
] |
My co worker's Essential Oils Diffuser caused an asthma attack. Now we have a scent free zone policy and passive aggressive eucalyptus
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "co",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "worker's",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "Essential",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "Oils",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
2
]
},
{
"text": "Diffuser",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "caused",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "an",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "asthma",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "attack.",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "we",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "scent",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "free",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "zone",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "policy",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "passive",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "aggressive",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "eucalyptus",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
9.120000000000001
]
}
] |
So I tried meal delivery and got a recipe card with Sous vide. Instructions turns out my kitchen lacks both sous and voode. Now I'm microwaving disappointment.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "meal",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "delivery",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
2
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "got",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "recipe",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "card",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "Sous",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "vide.",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "Instructions",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "turns",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "kitchen",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "lacks",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "both",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "sous",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "voode.",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.64
]
},
{
"text": "microwaving",
"timestamp": [
10.64,
11.52
]
},
{
"text": "disappointment.",
"timestamp": [
11.52,
12.24
]
}
] |
The new barista calls my drink a text book perfection. Turns out my latte art looks like a toddler's scribble We're both lying for emotional survival.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "barista",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "calls",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "drink",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "text",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "book",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "perfection.",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "latte",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "art",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "looks",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "toddler's",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "scribble",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "We're",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "both",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "lying",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "emotional",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
10.32
]
},
{
"text": "survival.",
"timestamp": [
10.32,
10.96
]
}
] |
I went for a run along the beach yesterday evening, right around sunset. The sky was all these incredible shades of orange and pink, and the sound of the waves was so calming it was the perfect way to end a really long and stressful day at the office.
|
[
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "went",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "run",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "along",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "beach",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "yesterday",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "evening,",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "right",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
4
]
},
{
"text": "around",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "sunset.",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "sky",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "these",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "incredible",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "shades",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
8
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "orange",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "pink,",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
10.24,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "sound",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "waves",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.6
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
11.6,
11.92
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
11.92,
12.16
]
},
{
"text": "calming",
"timestamp": [
12.16,
12.8
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
13.040000000000001,
13.280000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
13.280000000000001,
13.52
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
13.52,
13.76
]
},
{
"text": "perfect",
"timestamp": [
13.76,
14.32
]
},
{
"text": "way",
"timestamp": [
14.32,
14.56
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
14.56,
14.8
]
},
{
"text": "end",
"timestamp": [
14.8,
15.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
15.120000000000001,
15.36
]
},
{
"text": "really",
"timestamp": [
15.36,
15.68
]
},
{
"text": "long",
"timestamp": [
15.68,
16
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
16,
16.240000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "stressful",
"timestamp": [
16.240000000000002,
16.88
]
},
{
"text": "day",
"timestamp": [
16.88,
17.12
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
17.12,
17.28
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
17.28,
17.44
]
},
{
"text": "office.",
"timestamp": [
17.44,
17.76
]
}
] |
My smart fridge suggests recipes based on expired items. Yesterday it recommended rotten avocado omelette. I think it's trying to kill me.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "smart",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "fridge",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "suggests",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "recipes",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "based",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "on",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "expired",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "items.",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "Yesterday",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "recommended",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "rotten",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "avocado",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "omelette.",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8
]
},
{
"text": "think",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "trying",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "kill",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "me.",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.28
]
}
] |
So I bought luxury hand cream that smells like a fancy bakery. Now I constantly sniff my palms instead of working. Productivity has dropped seventy per cent.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "luxury",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "hand",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "cream",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "smells",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "fancy",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "bakery.",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "constantly",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "sniff",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "palms",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "instead",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "working.",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "Productivity",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "dropped",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "seventy",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "per",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.48
]
},
{
"text": "cent.",
"timestamp": [
10.48,
10.72
]
}
] |
The neighbour's kid started calling me the Umbrella Lady because I always forget mine. Now I carry three extras just in case, and pretend I'm Mary Poppins,
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "neighbour's",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "kid",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2
]
},
{
"text": "calling",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "Umbrella",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "Lady",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "because",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "always",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "forget",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "mine.",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "carry",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "three",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8
]
},
{
"text": "extras",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "case,",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "pretend",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.56
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
10.56,
10.8
]
},
{
"text": "Mary",
"timestamp": [
10.8,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "Poppins,",
"timestamp": [
11.200000000000001,
11.76
]
}
] |
My co-worker brought mystery muffins that taste like dessert, and regret turns out they're packed with protein. My taste buds and gym membership are now in therapy.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "co-worker",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "brought",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "mystery",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "muffins",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "taste",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "dessert,",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "regret",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "turns",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "they're",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "packed",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "protein.",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "taste",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "buds",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "gym",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "membership",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "therapy.",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.52
]
}
] |
So I tried hiking and accidentally joined a flash mob. Turns out trial mix. Isn't code for dance party, but we made the best of it.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "hiking",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "accidentally",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "joined",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "flash",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "mob.",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "trial",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "mix.",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "Isn't",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "code",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "dance",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "party,",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8
]
},
{
"text": "we",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "made",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "best",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "it.",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
8.88
]
}
] |
The dry cleaner lost my favorite shirt but gave me a ten percent coupon. Now I'm torn between morning fabric or embracing wardrobe nihilism.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.16
]
},
{
"text": "dry",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "cleaner",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "lost",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "favorite",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "shirt",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "gave",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "ten",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "percent",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "coupon.",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "torn",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "between",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "morning",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "fabric",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "embracing",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "wardrobe",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "nihilism.",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.8
]
}
] |
My smart speaker now plays elevator music. When I ask about the weather, I'm pretty sure it's mocking my small talk skills.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "smart",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "speaker",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "plays",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "elevator",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "music.",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "When",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "ask",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "weather,",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "pretty",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "sure",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6
]
},
{
"text": "mocking",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "small",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "talk",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "skills.",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
8.08
]
}
] |
So I bought all weather boots that leak in puddles. The store calls it Hydrod Venture technology. I call it Corporate Fraud.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "weather",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "boots",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "leak",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "puddles.",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "store",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "calls",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "Hydrod",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "Venture",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "technology.",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "call",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "Corporate",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "Fraud.",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.24
]
}
] |
The new co worker thinks TGIF is still a thing. We're all pretending it's one thousand nine hundred ninety five again to make them feel welcome.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "co",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "worker",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "thinks",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "TGIF",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "still",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "thing.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "We're",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "pretending",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "one",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "thousand",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "nine",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "hundred",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6
]
},
{
"text": "ninety",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "five",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "again",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "make",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "them",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "feel",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "welcome.",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.24
]
}
] |
My plant's leaves are curling despite perfect care. Turns out over watering isn't love language, it's execution method.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "plant's",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "leaves",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "curling",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "despite",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "perfect",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "care.",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "over",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "watering",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "isn't",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "love",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "language,",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "execution",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "method.",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.72
]
}
] |
I finally finished putting together that bookshelf from IKEA. The instructions were basically just a series of confusing pictures, and at one point I was convinced I had put the whole thing together backwards, but I figured it out and it actually looks pretty good.
|
[
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "finally",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "finished",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "putting",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "together",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "bookshelf",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "IKEA.",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "instructions",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "were",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "basically",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "series",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.32
]
},
{
"text": "confusing",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "pictures,",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "one",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "point",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
10.96
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
11.120000000000001,
11.36
]
},
{
"text": "convinced",
"timestamp": [
11.36,
11.92
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
11.92,
12.08
]
},
{
"text": "had",
"timestamp": [
12.08,
12.24
]
},
{
"text": "put",
"timestamp": [
12.24,
12.48
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
12.48,
12.64
]
},
{
"text": "whole",
"timestamp": [
12.64,
12.88
]
},
{
"text": "thing",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
13.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "together",
"timestamp": [
13.120000000000001,
13.6
]
},
{
"text": "backwards,",
"timestamp": [
13.6,
14.32
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
14.64,
14.8
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
14.8,
14.96
]
},
{
"text": "figured",
"timestamp": [
14.96,
15.36
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
15.36,
15.6
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
15.6,
15.76
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
15.84,
16
]
},
{
"text": "it",
"timestamp": [
16,
16.32
]
},
{
"text": "actually",
"timestamp": [
16.32,
16.64
]
},
{
"text": "looks",
"timestamp": [
16.64,
16.96
]
},
{
"text": "pretty",
"timestamp": [
16.96,
17.44
]
},
{
"text": "good.",
"timestamp": [
17.44,
17.68
]
}
] |
So I tried online therapy, and my counsellor said Interesting seventeen times. I'm not sure if I'm broken or just bad at self optimization.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "online",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "therapy,",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "counsellor",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "said",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4
]
},
{
"text": "Interesting",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "seventeen",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "times.",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "not",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "sure",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "if",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "broken",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.44
]
},
{
"text": "bad",
"timestamp": [
9.44,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "at",
"timestamp": [
9.76,
10
]
},
{
"text": "self",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.4
]
},
{
"text": "optimization.",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
11.28
]
}
] |
The movie theater now sells Pranema recliners that eat my shoes. I've lost three pairs to leg groom greed. Time to buy stock in footwear companies.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.16
]
},
{
"text": "movie",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "theater",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "sells",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "Pranema",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "recliners",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "eat",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "shoes.",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "lost",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "three",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "pairs",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "leg",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "groom",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "greed.",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "Time",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "buy",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "stock",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "footwear",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
10.16
]
},
{
"text": "companies.",
"timestamp": [
10.16,
10.56
]
}
] |
My roommate started using a bidet, and now talks about plumbing like it's the stock market. Our bathroom has become a tech start up incubator.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "roommate",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "using",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "bidet,",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
2
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "talks",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "plumbing",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
4
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "stock",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "market.",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "Our",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "bathroom",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.8
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
6.8,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "become",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "tech",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "start",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "up",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "incubator.",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.8
]
}
] |
So I bought mood lighting, that just makes my apartment look like a crime scene. The neighbors probably call police when they see my windows glow red,
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "mood",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "lighting,",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "makes",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "apartment",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "look",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "crime",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "scene.",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "neighbors",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "probably",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "call",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "police",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "they",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "see",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "windows",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "glow",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "red,",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.200000000000001
]
}
] |
The coal worker who brings healthy snacks keeps judging my candy stash. Yesterday they replaced my gummy bears with kale chips. Biological warfare, basically.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.16
]
},
{
"text": "coal",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "worker",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "brings",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "healthy",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "snacks",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "keeps",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "judging",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "candy",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "stash.",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "Yesterday",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "they",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "replaced",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "gummy",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "bears",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "kale",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "chips.",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "Biological",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
9.28
]
},
{
"text": "warfare,",
"timestamp": [
9.28,
9.76
]
},
{
"text": "basically.",
"timestamp": [
9.92,
10.24
]
}
] |
My phone battery dies faster when I'm late. It's like the universe conspiring against punctuality. Now I carry a charger, like a security blanket.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "phone",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "battery",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "dies",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "faster",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "late.",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "universe",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "conspiring",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "against",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "punctuality.",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8
]
},
{
"text": "carry",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "charger,",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.52
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.52,
9.68
]
},
{
"text": "security",
"timestamp": [
9.68,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "blanket.",
"timestamp": [
10.24,
10.64
]
}
] |
so I tried clean eating, and my fridge looks like a hospital tray. The only excitement comes from debating if avocados count as vegetables.
|
[
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "clean",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "eating,",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "fridge",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "looks",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "hospital",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "tray.",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "only",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "excitement",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "comes",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "debating",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "if",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "avocados",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "count",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "as",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "vegetables.",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.44
]
}
] |
The laundromat now has a sock ambassador programme. They're training pets to find lost pairs. My cat applied, but failed the background check.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "laundromat",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "sock",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "ambassador",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "programme.",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "They're",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "training",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "pets",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "find",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "lost",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "pairs.",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "cat",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "applied,",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "failed",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
8.72
]
},
{
"text": "background",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "check.",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.6
]
}
] |
My co-workers' fake plants look better than my real ones. I'm considering sabotage, but they probably hired plant spies.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "co-workers'",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "fake",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "plants",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "look",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "better",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "than",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "real",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "ones.",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "considering",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "sabotage,",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "they",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "probably",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "hired",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "plant",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "spies.",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.92
]
}
] |
So I bought airtonomic headphones that weigh ten pounds. My neck now has its own therapist and a grudge against tech companies.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "airtonomic",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "headphones",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "weigh",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "ten",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "pounds.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "neck",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "its",
"timestamp": [
5.28,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "own",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "therapist",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "grudge",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "against",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "tech",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8
]
},
{
"text": "companies.",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.48
]
}
] |
There's a new coffee shop that opened up a few blocks from my apartment. It has this really cool, cosy vibe with lots of plants and comfortable chairs. I could definitely see myself spending a lot of time there, just reading or getting some work done.
|
[
{
"text": "There's",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "coffee",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "shop",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "opened",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "up",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "few",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "blocks",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "apartment.",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "It",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "really",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "cool,",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "cosy",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "vibe",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "lots",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "plants",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "comfortable",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.36
]
},
{
"text": "chairs.",
"timestamp": [
9.36,
9.92
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
10.24,
10.48
]
},
{
"text": "could",
"timestamp": [
10.48,
10.72
]
},
{
"text": "definitely",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
11.44
]
},
{
"text": "see",
"timestamp": [
11.44,
11.68
]
},
{
"text": "myself",
"timestamp": [
11.68,
12.24
]
},
{
"text": "spending",
"timestamp": [
12.24,
12.72
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
12.72,
12.96
]
},
{
"text": "lot",
"timestamp": [
12.96,
13.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
13.120000000000001,
13.44
]
},
{
"text": "time",
"timestamp": [
13.44,
13.76
]
},
{
"text": "there,",
"timestamp": [
13.76,
14.08
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
14.4,
14.72
]
},
{
"text": "reading",
"timestamp": [
14.72,
15.280000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "or",
"timestamp": [
15.280000000000001,
15.6
]
},
{
"text": "getting",
"timestamp": [
15.6,
15.92
]
},
{
"text": "some",
"timestamp": [
15.92,
16.240000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "work",
"timestamp": [
16.240000000000002,
16.48
]
},
{
"text": "done.",
"timestamp": [
16.48,
16.72
]
}
] |
The new barista asked if I wanted cinnamon dust instead of sprinkles. My drink now looks like a crime scene from a baking show.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "barista",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "asked",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "if",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "wanted",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "cinnamon",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "dust",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "instead",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "sprinkles.",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
5.28
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "drink",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "looks",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "crime",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "scene",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.56
]
},
{
"text": "baking",
"timestamp": [
8.56,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "show.",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.28
]
}
] |
My smartwatch tracks steps, but not emotional breakdowns. Priorities are completely wrong here. I've walked ten miles of anxiety this week.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "smartwatch",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "tracks",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "steps,",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "not",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "emotional",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "breakdowns.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "Priorities",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "completely",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "wrong",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "here.",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "walked",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "ten",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "miles",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "anxiety",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10
]
},
{
"text": "week.",
"timestamp": [
10,
10.32
]
}
] |
So I tried meditation, and immediately got a notification my avocado was ripe. Now I associate mindfulness with toast related panic.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.72
]
},
{
"text": "meditation,",
"timestamp": [
0.72,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "immediately",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "got",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "notification",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "avocado",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "was",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "ripe.",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "Now",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "associate",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "mindfulness",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "toast",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "related",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "panic.",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.64
]
}
] |
The dry cleaner now charges for wrinkle analysis. Turns out my life has too many creases for standard pricing. Existential crises build hourly.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "dry",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "cleaner",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "charges",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.92
]
},
{
"text": "wrinkle",
"timestamp": [
1.92,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "analysis.",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
3.12
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "life",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "too",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "many",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "creases",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "standard",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "pricing.",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "Existential",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "crises",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "build",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.88
]
},
{
"text": "hourly.",
"timestamp": [
8.88,
9.36
]
}
] |
My roommate's succulent collection has become a dictatorship they have watering schedules more intense than CIA protocols.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "roommate's",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "succulent",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "collection",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
2
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "become",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "dictatorship",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "they",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "have",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "watering",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.64
]
},
{
"text": "schedules",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "more",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "intense",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "than",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "CIA",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "protocols.",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.76
]
}
] |
so I bought luxury tissues that feel like sandpaper. The packaging said Spagrad softness, but my nose is filing a formal complaint.
|
[
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "luxury",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.44
]
},
{
"text": "tissues",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "feel",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "sandpaper.",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
4,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "packaging",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "said",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "Spagrad",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "softness,",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.68
]
},
{
"text": "nose",
"timestamp": [
7.68,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "filing",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "formal",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "complaint.",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.68
]
}
] |
The co worker who says circle back in every meeting needs to be stopped. We've circled back so many times, we're now orbiting the sun.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "co",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "worker",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "says",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "circle",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
2
]
},
{
"text": "back",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "every",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "meeting",
"timestamp": [
2.72,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "needs",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "be",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "stopped.",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "We've",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "circled",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "back",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "many",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "times,",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "we're",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "orbiting",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.84
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8
]
},
{
"text": "sun.",
"timestamp": [
8,
8.24
]
}
] |
My smart fridge suggests wine pairings with my leftovers. Turns out expired rice goes well with sarcasm and regret.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "smart",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
1.04
]
},
{
"text": "fridge",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "suggests",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "wine",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "pairings",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "leftovers.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "expired",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "rice",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "goes",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "well",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "sarcasm",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "regret.",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.88
]
}
] |
So I tried yoga and my instructor said, Find your edge. I found it, and it's where my hamstring meets existential crisis.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "yoga",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
1.44,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "instructor",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "said,",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "Find",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "your",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "edge.",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "found",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "it,",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6
]
},
{
"text": "where",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "hamstring",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "meets",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "existential",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
8.4
]
},
{
"text": "crisis.",
"timestamp": [
8.4,
8.88
]
}
] |
the movie theater now has dynamic pricing like airline tickets. I paid twenty two dollars for a seat that smells like old popcorn and poor life choices,
|
[
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "movie",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "theater",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.04,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "dynamic",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "pricing",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.84
]
},
{
"text": "airline",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "tickets.",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
5.04
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "paid",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "twenty",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "two",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "dollars",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
7.12,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "seat",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
7.6000000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "smells",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.24
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
8.24,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "old",
"timestamp": [
8.72,
9.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "popcorn",
"timestamp": [
9.120000000000001,
9.84
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
9.84,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "poor",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.24
]
},
{
"text": "life",
"timestamp": [
10.4,
10.56
]
},
{
"text": "choices,",
"timestamp": [
10.72,
11.120000000000001
]
}
] |
I've been watching this documentary series about the deep ocean. The creatures they show are just unbelievable. Like something out of a science fiction movie. It's crazy to think that all of that exists so far beneath the surface, in a world we can barely explore.
|
[
{
"text": "I've",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "been",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "watching",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "this",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "documentary",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
2
]
},
{
"text": "series",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "about",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "deep",
"timestamp": [
2.88,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "ocean.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.32
]
},
{
"text": "creatures",
"timestamp": [
4.32,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "they",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "show",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "are",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "just",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "unbelievable.",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "Like",
"timestamp": [
7.84,
8
]
},
{
"text": "something",
"timestamp": [
8.32,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
8.8
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
8.8,
8.96
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
8.96,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "science",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.6
]
},
{
"text": "fiction",
"timestamp": [
9.6,
10.08
]
},
{
"text": "movie.",
"timestamp": [
10.08,
10.64
]
},
{
"text": "It's",
"timestamp": [
10.96,
11.28
]
},
{
"text": "crazy",
"timestamp": [
11.28,
11.92
]
},
{
"text": "to",
"timestamp": [
11.92,
12.16
]
},
{
"text": "think",
"timestamp": [
12.16,
12.4
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
12.4,
12.64
]
},
{
"text": "all",
"timestamp": [
12.64,
12.88
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
12.88,
13.120000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
13.120000000000001,
13.36
]
},
{
"text": "exists",
"timestamp": [
13.36,
13.92
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
13.92,
14.16
]
},
{
"text": "far",
"timestamp": [
14.16,
14.48
]
},
{
"text": "beneath",
"timestamp": [
14.48,
14.88
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
14.88,
15.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "surface,",
"timestamp": [
15.040000000000001,
15.68
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
16,
16.16
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
16.16,
16.48
]
},
{
"text": "world",
"timestamp": [
16.48,
16.72
]
},
{
"text": "we",
"timestamp": [
16.72,
16.88
]
},
{
"text": "can",
"timestamp": [
16.88,
17.12
]
},
{
"text": "barely",
"timestamp": [
17.12,
17.52
]
},
{
"text": "explore.",
"timestamp": [
17.52,
18
]
}
] |
my plant's new leaves look like they've seen things. I'm pretty sure it's judging my dating life while slowly dying.
|
[
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "plant's",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "leaves",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "look",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
2,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "they've",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "seen",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "things.",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "pretty",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.24
]
},
{
"text": "sure",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "it's",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "judging",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "dating",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "life",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "while",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.640000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "slowly",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
7.04
]
},
{
"text": "dying.",
"timestamp": [
7.04,
7.5200000000000005
]
}
] |
So I bought eco friendly toilet paper that feels like sand. The package says tree free future, but my butt is staging a revolution.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "eco",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "friendly",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "toilet",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "paper",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
3.12,
3.36
]
},
{
"text": "feels",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "sand.",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.2
]
},
{
"text": "package",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "says",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6
]
},
{
"text": "tree",
"timestamp": [
6.24,
6.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "free",
"timestamp": [
6.640000000000001,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "future,",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8.16
]
},
{
"text": "butt",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.48
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
8.48,
8.64
]
},
{
"text": "staging",
"timestamp": [
8.64,
9.040000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
9.040000000000001,
9.200000000000001
]
},
{
"text": "revolution.",
"timestamp": [
9.200000000000001,
9.76
]
}
] |
The new co-worker thinks A S A P is an emoji. We're now in a corporate culture time, warp and loving every minute.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "new",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "co-worker",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "thinks",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "A",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2
]
},
{
"text": "S",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "A",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "P",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "an",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.44
]
},
{
"text": "emoji.",
"timestamp": [
3.44,
4
]
},
{
"text": "We're",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
4.5600000000000005,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "corporate",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "culture",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
6
]
},
{
"text": "time,",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.24
]
},
{
"text": "warp",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
7.12
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.44
]
},
{
"text": "loving",
"timestamp": [
7.44,
7.92
]
},
{
"text": "every",
"timestamp": [
7.92,
8
]
},
{
"text": "minute.",
"timestamp": [
8.16,
8.4
]
}
] |
My smart speaker now plays jazz when I say I'm sad. Turns out Louis Armstrong is the best therapist money can buy.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.4
]
},
{
"text": "smart",
"timestamp": [
0.4,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "speaker",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "plays",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "jazz",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.56
]
},
{
"text": "say",
"timestamp": [
2.56,
2.72
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "sad.",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.6
]
},
{
"text": "Turns",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "Louis",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "Armstrong",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.84
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
5.84,
6
]
},
{
"text": "the",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "best",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "therapist",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "money",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.2
]
},
{
"text": "can",
"timestamp": [
7.2,
7.36
]
},
{
"text": "buy.",
"timestamp": [
7.36,
7.68
]
}
] |
So I tried meal prepping and created thirty portions of beige food. My fridge looks like a post apocalyptic buffet.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "tried",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.8
]
},
{
"text": "meal",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.2
]
},
{
"text": "prepping",
"timestamp": [
1.2,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "created",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.4
]
},
{
"text": "thirty",
"timestamp": [
2.4,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "portions",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "of",
"timestamp": [
3.2800000000000002,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "beige",
"timestamp": [
3.52,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "food.",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.5600000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "fridge",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "looks",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
5.76
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
5.92
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
5.92,
6.08
]
},
{
"text": "post",
"timestamp": [
6.08,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "apocalyptic",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "buffet.",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.76
]
}
] |
The laundromat now has a fabric softener subscription. Next they'll charge me for oxygen while I wait.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.08,
0.24
]
},
{
"text": "laundromat",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "has",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.68
]
},
{
"text": "fabric",
"timestamp": [
1.68,
2.16
]
},
{
"text": "softener",
"timestamp": [
2.16,
2.8000000000000003
]
},
{
"text": "subscription.",
"timestamp": [
2.8000000000000003,
3.52
]
},
{
"text": "Next",
"timestamp": [
3.84,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "they'll",
"timestamp": [
4.24,
4.48
]
},
{
"text": "charge",
"timestamp": [
4.48,
4.8
]
},
{
"text": "me",
"timestamp": [
4.8,
4.96
]
},
{
"text": "for",
"timestamp": [
4.96,
5.12
]
},
{
"text": "oxygen",
"timestamp": [
5.12,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "while",
"timestamp": [
5.76,
6
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "wait.",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.48
]
}
] |
My roommate's air fryer is louder than a jet engine. We've started timing dinner with emergency drills.
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.16,
0.32
]
},
{
"text": "roommate's",
"timestamp": [
0.32,
0.88
]
},
{
"text": "air",
"timestamp": [
0.88,
1.12
]
},
{
"text": "fryer",
"timestamp": [
1.12,
1.6
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
1.6,
1.76
]
},
{
"text": "louder",
"timestamp": [
1.76,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "than",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.24
]
},
{
"text": "a",
"timestamp": [
2.24,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "jet",
"timestamp": [
2.32,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "engine.",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "We've",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.68
]
},
{
"text": "started",
"timestamp": [
3.68,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "timing",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "dinner",
"timestamp": [
4.4,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "with",
"timestamp": [
4.72,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "emergency",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "drills.",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
6.08
]
}
] |
So I bought mood boosting candles that smell like citrus and lyes. My depression is unimpressed, but my wallet isn't.
|
[
{
"text": "So",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "I",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "bought",
"timestamp": [
0.64,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "mood",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.28
]
},
{
"text": "boosting",
"timestamp": [
1.28,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "candles",
"timestamp": [
1.84,
2.32
]
},
{
"text": "that",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "smell",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
3.04
]
},
{
"text": "like",
"timestamp": [
3.04,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "citrus",
"timestamp": [
3.2,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "and",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "lyes.",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.4
]
},
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
4.64,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "depression",
"timestamp": [
4.88,
5.44
]
},
{
"text": "is",
"timestamp": [
5.44,
5.6000000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "unimpressed,",
"timestamp": [
5.6000000000000005,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "but",
"timestamp": [
6.5600000000000005,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
6.88
]
},
{
"text": "wallet",
"timestamp": [
6.88,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "isn't.",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.68
]
}
] |
The co worker who says Paradig shift daily needs intervention We've shifted so much, we're now in another dimension.
|
[
{
"text": "The",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.48
]
},
{
"text": "co",
"timestamp": [
0.48,
0.64
]
},
{
"text": "worker",
"timestamp": [
0.8,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "who",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
1.52
]
},
{
"text": "says",
"timestamp": [
1.52,
1.84
]
},
{
"text": "Paradig",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.88
]
},
{
"text": "shift",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2
]
},
{
"text": "daily",
"timestamp": [
3.36,
3.7600000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "needs",
"timestamp": [
3.7600000000000002,
4.08
]
},
{
"text": "intervention",
"timestamp": [
4.08,
4.88
]
},
{
"text": "We've",
"timestamp": [
5.2,
5.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "shifted",
"timestamp": [
5.5200000000000005,
6.16
]
},
{
"text": "so",
"timestamp": [
6.16,
6.4
]
},
{
"text": "much,",
"timestamp": [
6.4,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "we're",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.28
]
},
{
"text": "now",
"timestamp": [
7.28,
7.5200000000000005
]
},
{
"text": "in",
"timestamp": [
7.5200000000000005,
7.76
]
},
{
"text": "another",
"timestamp": [
7.76,
8.08
]
},
{
"text": "dimension.",
"timestamp": [
8.08,
8.56
]
}
] |
My phone's facial recognition fails when I'm sad, turns out misery, really does look different from my home screen,
|
[
{
"text": "My",
"timestamp": [
0.24,
0.56
]
},
{
"text": "phone's",
"timestamp": [
0.56,
0.96
]
},
{
"text": "facial",
"timestamp": [
0.96,
1.36
]
},
{
"text": "recognition",
"timestamp": [
1.36,
2.08
]
},
{
"text": "fails",
"timestamp": [
2.08,
2.48
]
},
{
"text": "when",
"timestamp": [
2.48,
2.64
]
},
{
"text": "I'm",
"timestamp": [
2.64,
2.96
]
},
{
"text": "sad,",
"timestamp": [
2.96,
3.2800000000000002
]
},
{
"text": "turns",
"timestamp": [
3.6,
3.92
]
},
{
"text": "out",
"timestamp": [
3.92,
4.16
]
},
{
"text": "misery,",
"timestamp": [
4.16,
4.72
]
},
{
"text": "really",
"timestamp": [
5.04,
5.36
]
},
{
"text": "does",
"timestamp": [
5.36,
5.68
]
},
{
"text": "look",
"timestamp": [
5.68,
6
]
},
{
"text": "different",
"timestamp": [
6,
6.32
]
},
{
"text": "from",
"timestamp": [
6.32,
6.48
]
},
{
"text": "my",
"timestamp": [
6.48,
6.72
]
},
{
"text": "home",
"timestamp": [
6.72,
6.96
]
},
{
"text": "screen,",
"timestamp": [
6.96,
7.36
]
}
] |
End of preview.
README.md exists but content is empty.
- Downloads last month
- 247