shuttie/reddit-dadjokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

input stringlengths 11 502	output stringlengths 6 565	instruction stringclasses 1 value
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?	A fish.	Continue a dad joke:
What's a diabetics favourite restaurant?	McJohnalds	Continue a dad joke:
Why did the bland food file a police report	It was a-salted. But it's okay. They caught the perp, and now he's doing thyme.	Continue a dad joke:
Crackheads be mad you don't have a dollar	Like bro you don't have one either	Continue a dad joke:
If you ever got locked in or out, speak to the padlock.	Because communication is key.	Continue a dad joke:
Prison van and a cement truck got in an accident on the highway today.	Police issue statement: be on the lookout for hardened criminals.	Continue a dad joke:
A man with a cockney accent goes to the dentist.	"Alright boss," says the man, "how are me teeth looking?" "You appear to have a huge hole in one tooth. I think we need to find out the root cause." "Cavity?" asks the man. "Indeed,"	Continue a dad joke:
When a Cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid,	she becomes a Def Leppard	Continue a dad joke:
I heard a good joke about vegan food	it's pretty tasteless	Continue a dad joke:
Three Men Walked Into A Bar	They crashed into it.	Continue a dad joke:
So What did 3 say to 8	Hey, you two stop making out	Continue a dad joke:
My family has a recipe for the perfect loaf of bread.	It's on a knead to know basis.	Continue a dad joke:
My son and I went camping yesterday when he asked me how to start a campfire.	I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same." "Then you’ll have a match!"	Continue a dad joke:
My carpet is very fluffy.	He’s a Pomeranian and has a strange attachment to our Toyota.	Continue a dad joke:
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by its own	It was too tired	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear about the cheese factory that got hit by a tornado	Da-brie was everywhere!	Continue a dad joke:
Last night an evil spirit was smoking cigarettes in my apartment and now the whole place smells like beef stew.	Must be all the ghoul ash.	Continue a dad joke:
I don't mean to brag but Cashiers...	are always checking me out.	Continue a dad joke:
What do people yell as the king of cheese land walks by?	Make whey, make whey	Continue a dad joke:
I once tried to rob a bank	But the dye pack went off. Safe to say I was caught red handed.	Continue a dad joke:
Friends are like bananas.	If you peel off their skins and eat them, you’ll have none left!	Continue a dad joke:
I hate Russian dolls	They're so full of themselves	Continue a dad joke:
What did the feather say when asked if it wanted to party?	I'm down.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call a moving chicken?	Poultry in motion.	Continue a dad joke:
what do call a laptop that can sing?	a dell	Continue a dad joke:
A friend asked me how deep into the Trans community I was...	I said about six inches.	Continue a dad joke:
I have a friend that's addicted to brake fluid	But he says it's okay, he can stop anytime.	Continue a dad joke:
Man walks into a bar	The man said "fuck that hurt"	Continue a dad joke:
My son asked what he should do when someone is having an allergic reaction to dairy	Ice cream for help.	Continue a dad joke:
I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t trust marine biologists	Something about them feels…… fishy	Continue a dad joke:
I knew she'd been working at the foundry	because I smelter.	Continue a dad joke:
I finally peeled some cheese today!	Isn't that grate?	Continue a dad joke:
Think of the punsobilities	I make a 'killer' truffle, and my gulache, it's to die for	Continue a dad joke:
I knitted a belt made out of thyme leaves.	It was a huge waist of thyme.	Continue a dad joke:
My 6 year old French daughter has a knack for painting gorgeous landscapes of the sea that our house overlooks	I guess you could say that she has got a sense of hue-mer.	Continue a dad joke:
I walked in a bar and saw a bunch of people waiting to punch a guy	That was the punchline	Continue a dad joke:
Dad joke pick-up lines?	Are you a pizza? Because I doughnut know what I'd do without you.	Continue a dad joke:
How does a musician calm down?	He finds his composer.	Continue a dad joke:
A pair of brooms are catching up on the latest dirt	Apparently the vacuum just bit the dust	Continue a dad joke:
Frodo would have had a much harder time destroying the one ring	If Mount Doom had been in Lesdor instead	Continue a dad joke:
Time travel?	When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.	Continue a dad joke:
I told my doctor my eye hurts every time I drink tea	He told me to take the spoon out.	Continue a dad joke:
What kind of weights do cops pump at the gym?	Hand Irons	Continue a dad joke:
What happened to the scared Canadian	They got Canada goose bumps	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call wheat that curses you out	Vulgar Wheat	Continue a dad joke:
Hey everyone, nice community you've got here.	My name is Christian and I'm pleased to join you. Hope everyone had a relaxing holiday, I know I sure did. I feel like a born-again Christian.	Continue a dad joke:
What is a pirate's favorite food?	Cheese and crackers, but they're always plundering for something better!	Continue a dad joke:
I've just been hospitalized due to a peek-a-boo accident.	They put me in the ICU	Continue a dad joke:
The math checks out	Damn NFL refs are always calling THIRTY-SECOND TIMEOUT and it really makes a dude wonder why they didn't mention the previous 31 timeouts.	Continue a dad joke:
Me seeing someone watching a fashion show: Those look absolutely terrible.	"Well they aren't meant to be worn as every day clothes. It's high fashion." "Oh. So you have to be high to wear it." cringe	Continue a dad joke:
This year will be as bad as 2020	because it's 2022!	Continue a dad joke:
As its my cake day here is my favourite birthday joke	How did pickles celebrate their birthday? They relish the moment.	Continue a dad joke:
I run my life like a small-bird aviary.	No egrets.	Continue a dad joke:
Two blondes walked into a bar	You figure the second one would have seen it when the first one hit it.	Continue a dad joke:
A man walked into a bar	It hurt	Continue a dad joke:
Wife wanted new shoe laces	I said, "why, you only have two."	Continue a dad joke:
A termite walks into a bar	is the bar tender here?	Continue a dad joke:
Who doesn't need Covid testing?	Negative Nancy	Continue a dad joke:
Who absolutely does not need Covid vaccination?	Negative Nancy.	Continue a dad joke:
2 guys walk into a bar	You’d think the second guy would’ve ducked.	Continue a dad joke:
A woman drops of her dress at the dry cleaners	come again She says no, just toothpaste this time.	Continue a dad joke:
Me: Son, what grade am I in?	You’re grade at cleaning poop.	Continue a dad joke:
Asked my 2 year old daughter why she is goofy.	Her response... "I'm not goofy, I'm Gracie!"	Continue a dad joke:
I decided to invest in a watch for my hips	It was a waist of time	Continue a dad joke:
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people	Sadly none of them work	Continue a dad joke:
I hear Betty White will be buried at Mineral Point, an extremely popular cemetery	People are just dying to get in there.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call the head of the Catholic church covered in flowers and aromatic herbs?	Pope-purri	Continue a dad joke:
Where does Batman go to take a crap	The Batroom	Continue a dad joke:
What was the berry so sad?	Because he was a blue berry	Continue a dad joke:
My wife couldn’t fit my speaker system into the car	She was getting hy-stereo-cal about it.	Continue a dad joke:
Why did green goblin name his glider	Because it was the end of May	Continue a dad joke:
Why did Trump want to invade Poland?	He hated the polls.	Continue a dad joke:
What crime do blacksmiths most commonly get charged with	Forgery	Continue a dad joke:
I recently founded a dating service for the elderly...	It's called Carbon Dating	Continue a dad joke:
I am not a good electrician	People are usually shocked when they find out	Continue a dad joke:
Why do I dislike Rubik's Cubes so much?	Well, I don't know where to begin.	Continue a dad joke:
So I got a buddy of mine a new belt for his birthday.	What a waist.	Continue a dad joke:
I’m glad it’s 2022…	Time to even things out after the odd 2021.	Continue a dad joke:
A sandwich walks into a bar	The barman says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”	Continue a dad joke:
What animal do you find at a lingerie store?	Ze bra	Continue a dad joke:
I don't like camping in pairs	It's two in tents	Continue a dad joke:
It's two minutes past midnight on January the 1st and I just stubbed my toe	Worst year of my life so far	Continue a dad joke:
The local tavern owner passed recently	It was a real bar-gain.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call a Sith lord in the fog	Darth Vapor	Continue a dad joke:
I recently purchased a set of plate mail armour.	I'm afraid to wear it though, as I'm afraid it might make me look middle-aged.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call one Cini Mini?	Single Mini	Continue a dad joke:
Who guards the Samsung store	The Guardians of the Galaxy.	Continue a dad joke:
I once asked my neighbor to help me move a box of bulbs.	He said "no it's too light".	Continue a dad joke:
There was a robbery at an Apple store today	They caught the guy because they had an iWitness!	Continue a dad joke:
A Joke About Enigmatic People	Why are men with the last name “Edwards” confusing? They’re always a “Mister E.”	Continue a dad joke:
Did you know Mortal Kombat is based off of an old church song?	Finish Hymn	Continue a dad joke:
People always forget my name when I say 'thank you.'	You're welcome.	Continue a dad joke:
If the host of Dirty Jobs gives a speech on stage...	Is he speaking into a Mike Rowe phone?	Continue a dad joke:
What are deers favorite type of bread?	Sour-doe!	Continue a dad joke:
My son knocked a picture of himself off the shelf	Don't worry about it, champ. Pick yourself up.	Continue a dad joke:
Cashews seem to have a lot of calories in them.	It's nuts.	Continue a dad joke:
I visited a monastery and as I walked by the kitchen I saw a man frying chips.	He replied "no im the chip monk."	Continue a dad joke:
What's a pirate's favorite fish?	Tuna. What you expected Gaaaaar?	Continue a dad joke:
I feel so grounded when I’m outdoors	but whenever I walk inside I’m floored	Continue a dad joke:
I feel appreciation of Eminem jokes is below average. Maybe it's because people don't UNDERSTAND them?	Stan as in his song "Stan", also, technically Stan is currently down under at the end of the song. Stand as in his other song, "The	Continue a dad joke:

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A fish.

Continue a dad joke:

What's a diabetics favourite restaurant?

McJohnalds

Continue a dad joke:

Why did the bland food file a police report

It was a-salted. But it's okay. They caught the perp, and now he's doing thyme.

Continue a dad joke:

Crackheads be mad you don't have a dollar

Like bro you don't have one either

Continue a dad joke:

If you ever got locked in or out, speak to the padlock.

Because communication is key.

Continue a dad joke:

Prison van and a cement truck got in an accident on the highway today.

Police issue statement: be on the lookout for *hardened* criminals.

Continue a dad joke:

A man with a cockney accent goes to the dentist.

"Alright boss," says the man, "how are me teeth looking?" "You appear to have a huge hole in one tooth. I think we need to find out the root cause." "Cavity?" asks the man. "Indeed,"

Continue a dad joke:

When a Cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid,

she becomes a Def Leppard

Continue a dad joke:

I heard a good joke about vegan food

it's pretty tasteless

Continue a dad joke:

Three Men Walked Into A Bar

They crashed into it.

Continue a dad joke:

So What did 3 say to 8

Hey, you two stop making out

Continue a dad joke:

My family has a recipe for the perfect loaf of bread.

It's on a knead to know basis.

Continue a dad joke:

My son and I went camping yesterday when he asked me how to start a campfire.

I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same." "Then you’ll have a match!"

Continue a dad joke:

My carpet is very fluffy.

He’s a Pomeranian and has a strange attachment to our Toyota.

Continue a dad joke:

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by its own

It was too tired

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear about the cheese factory that got hit by a tornado

Da-brie was everywhere!

Continue a dad joke:

Last night an evil spirit was smoking cigarettes in my apartment and now the whole place smells like beef stew.

Must be all the ghoul ash.

Continue a dad joke:

I don't mean to brag but Cashiers...

are always checking me out.

Continue a dad joke:

What do people yell as the king of cheese land walks by?

Make whey, make whey

Continue a dad joke:

I once tried to rob a bank

But the dye pack went off. Safe to say I was caught red handed.

Continue a dad joke:

Friends are like bananas.

If you peel off their skins and eat them, you’ll have none left!

Continue a dad joke:

I hate Russian dolls

They're so full of themselves

Continue a dad joke:

What did the feather say when asked if it wanted to party?

I'm down.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call a moving chicken?

Poultry in motion.

Continue a dad joke:

what do call a laptop that can sing?

a dell

Continue a dad joke:

A friend asked me how deep into the Trans community I was...

I said about six inches.

Continue a dad joke:

I have a friend that's addicted to brake fluid

But he says it's okay, he can stop anytime.

Continue a dad joke:

Man walks into a bar

The man said "fuck that hurt"

Continue a dad joke:

My son asked what he should do when someone is having an allergic reaction to dairy

Ice cream for help.

Continue a dad joke:

I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t trust marine biologists

Something about them feels…… fishy

Continue a dad joke:

I knew she'd been working at the foundry

because I *smelter*.

Continue a dad joke:

I finally peeled some cheese today!

Isn't that grate?

Continue a dad joke:

Think of the punsobilities

I make a 'killer' truffle, and my gulache, it's to die for

Continue a dad joke:

I knitted a belt made out of thyme leaves.

It was a huge waist of thyme.

Continue a dad joke:

My 6 year old French daughter has a knack for painting gorgeous landscapes of the sea that our house overlooks

I guess you could say that she has got a sense of hue-mer.

Continue a dad joke:

I walked in a bar and saw a bunch of people waiting to punch a guy

That was the punchline

Continue a dad joke:

Dad joke pick-up lines?

Are you a pizza? Because I doughnut know what I'd do without you.

Continue a dad joke:

How does a musician calm down?

He finds his composer.

Continue a dad joke:

A pair of brooms are catching up on the latest dirt

Apparently the vacuum just bit the dust

Continue a dad joke:

Frodo would have had a much harder time destroying the one ring

If Mount Doom had been in Lesdor instead

Continue a dad joke:

Time travel?

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Continue a dad joke:

I told my doctor my eye hurts every time I drink tea

He told me to take the spoon out.

Continue a dad joke:

What kind of weights do cops pump at the gym?

Hand Irons

Continue a dad joke:

What happened to the scared Canadian

They got Canada goose bumps

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call wheat that curses you out

Vulgar Wheat

Continue a dad joke:

Hey everyone, nice community you've got here.

My name is Christian and I'm pleased to join you. Hope everyone had a relaxing holiday, I know I sure did. I feel like a born-again Christian.

Continue a dad joke:

What is a pirate's favorite food?

Cheese and crackers, but they're always plundering for something better!

Continue a dad joke:

I've just been hospitalized due to a peek-a-boo accident.

They put me in the ICU

Continue a dad joke:

The math checks out

Damn NFL refs are always calling THIRTY-SECOND TIMEOUT and it really makes a dude wonder why they didn't mention the previous 31 timeouts.

Continue a dad joke:

Me seeing someone watching a fashion show: Those look absolutely terrible.

"Well they aren't meant to be worn as every day clothes. It's high fashion." "Oh. So you have to be high to wear it." *cringe*

Continue a dad joke:

This year will be as bad as 2020

because it's 2022!

Continue a dad joke:

As its my cake day here is my favourite birthday joke

How did pickles celebrate their birthday? They relish the moment.

Continue a dad joke:

I run my life like a small-bird aviary.

No egrets.

Continue a dad joke:

Two blondes walked into a bar

You figure the second one would have seen it when the first one hit it.

Continue a dad joke:

A man walked into a bar

It hurt

Continue a dad joke:

Wife wanted new shoe laces

I said, "why, you only have two."

Continue a dad joke:

A termite walks into a bar

is the bar tender here?

Continue a dad joke:

Who doesn't need Covid testing?

Negative Nancy

Continue a dad joke:

Who absolutely does not need Covid vaccination?

Negative Nancy.

Continue a dad joke:

2 guys walk into a bar

You’d think the second guy would’ve ducked.

Continue a dad joke:

A woman drops of her dress at the dry cleaners

come again She says no, just toothpaste this time.

Continue a dad joke:

Me: Son, what grade am I in?

You’re grade at cleaning poop.

Continue a dad joke:

Asked my 2 year old daughter why she is goofy.

Her response... "I'm not goofy, I'm Gracie!"

Continue a dad joke:

I decided to invest in a watch for my hips

It was a waist of time

Continue a dad joke:

I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people

Sadly none of them work

Continue a dad joke:

I hear Betty White will be buried at Mineral Point, an extremely popular cemetery

People are just dying to get in there.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call the head of the Catholic church covered in flowers and aromatic herbs?

Pope-purri

Continue a dad joke:

Where does Batman go to take a crap

The Batroom

Continue a dad joke:

What was the berry so sad?

Because he was a blue berry

Continue a dad joke:

My wife couldn’t fit my speaker system into the car

She was getting hy-stereo-cal about it.

Continue a dad joke:

Why did green goblin name his glider

Because it was the end of May

Continue a dad joke:

Why did Trump want to invade Poland?

He hated the polls.

Continue a dad joke:

What crime do blacksmiths most commonly get charged with

Forgery

Continue a dad joke:

I recently founded a dating service for the elderly...

It's called Carbon Dating

Continue a dad joke:

I am not a good electrician

People are usually shocked when they find out

Continue a dad joke:

Why do I dislike Rubik's Cubes so much?

Well, I don't know where to begin.

Continue a dad joke:

So I got a buddy of mine a new belt for his birthday.

What a waist.

Continue a dad joke:

I’m glad it’s 2022…

Time to even things out after the odd 2021.

Continue a dad joke:

A sandwich walks into a bar

The barman says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”

Continue a dad joke:

What animal do you find at a lingerie store?

Ze bra

Continue a dad joke:

I don't like camping in pairs

It's two in tents

Continue a dad joke:

It's two minutes past midnight on January the 1st and I just stubbed my toe

Worst year of my life so far

Continue a dad joke:

The local tavern owner passed recently

It was a real bar-gain.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call a Sith lord in the fog

Darth Vapor

Continue a dad joke:

I recently purchased a set of plate mail armour.

I'm afraid to wear it though, as I'm afraid it might make me look middle-aged.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call one Cini Mini?

Single Mini

Continue a dad joke:

Who guards the Samsung store

The Guardians of the Galaxy.

Continue a dad joke:

I once asked my neighbor to help me move a box of bulbs.

He said "no it's too light".

Continue a dad joke:

There was a robbery at an Apple store today

They caught the guy because they had an iWitness!

Continue a dad joke:

A Joke About Enigmatic People

Why are men with the last name “Edwards” confusing? They’re always a “Mister E.”

Continue a dad joke:

Did you know Mortal Kombat is based off of an old church song?

Finish Hymn

Continue a dad joke:

People always forget my name when I say 'thank you.'

You're welcome.

Continue a dad joke:

If the host of Dirty Jobs gives a speech on stage...

Is he speaking into a Mike Rowe phone?

Continue a dad joke:

What are deers favorite type of bread?

Sour-doe!

Continue a dad joke:

My son knocked a picture of himself off the shelf

Don't worry about it, champ. Pick yourself up.

Continue a dad joke:

Cashews seem to have a lot of calories in them.

It's nuts.

Continue a dad joke:

I visited a monastery and as I walked by the kitchen I saw a man frying chips.

He replied "no im the chip monk."

Continue a dad joke:

What's a pirate's favorite fish?

Tuna. What you expected Gaaaaar?

Continue a dad joke:

I feel so grounded when I’m outdoors

but whenever I walk inside I’m floored

Continue a dad joke:

I feel appreciation of Eminem jokes is below average. Maybe it's because people don't UNDERSTAND them?

Stan as in his song "Stan", also, technically Stan is currently down under at the end of the song. Stand as in his other song, "The

Continue a dad joke: