winduald/figlang2020-sarcasm · Datasets at Hugging Face

label stringclasses 2 values	context listlengths 2 18	response stringlengths 27 310
NOT_SARCASM	[ "FCC Plan To Use Thanksgiving To Hide Its Attack On Net Neutrality Vastly Underestimates The Looming Backlash", "[deleted]", "They're trying to make it 1992 again.", "\"Make America 1992 Again!\"", "Back in the day, we used vacuum tubes Made In America (tm), and that's the way we liked our computers: warm and with lots of blinking lights, with none of these new-fangled \"integrated\" chips. Nice, segregated, discrete electronics, the way God intended. If you thought there was a bug in the system it was because there probably was an actual bug in the system shorting things out. Real computing for real men that could pull a hot vacuum tube out of the socket with their bare hands. Et cetera. If you wanted a \"computer network\", you had to call up another computer on the phone and electrically link them together, not this crazy TCP/IP stuff with optical fibre. Turn the clock back to the 1960s, at least. \"Make Electronics Great Again.\" ", "Micro chips are for sissies, lets make chips YUUUUGE." ]	Never thought I'd see such open shilling for Big Silicon on Reddit, smh
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Bernie Sanders Calls Saudi Arabias Response To Canada Outrageous. He called Canadas criticisms \"entirely legitimate.\"", "Well, partially legitimate. They'll be entirely legitimate when we stop selling them arms.", "[deleted]", "We only get approx 9% of our oil from them... you’d think we could find a way to source that from somewhere else.", "Somewhere like... Canada?", "Once we're able to transport it from west to east, if we ever have the political will for it. In the short term I'd be fine with buying more from the States, maybe even swing it as a concession to Trumps trade war. Any way we do it, let's stop buying from the Saudis, even with their tantrum they didn't want to stop selling it to us." ]	Political will is the key alright. Would've been nice to be able to tell Saudi to stuff their oil
NOT_SARCASM	[ "I have a STEM PhD. And I earn six figures.", "A PhD in all STEM fields?" ]	See this is my question! Who doesn’t just say their field(s) of study?
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Classic EA", "I'm sure this will be thoroughly explained during their AMA on Wednesday. Which reminds me, gotta get some popcorn.", "Remember to sort for \"Controversial\" instead of top so EAs answers even show up.", "Would they even show up then? Reddit should add a sort by bottom option just for that thread." ]	Think I read recently that there's a new sorting option used in /r/iama that prioritizes showing comments answered by the OP regardless of score.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Discussion Nostalgia alert. I just found my old iPhone 1st Generation from over 10 years ago. Still boots, jailbroken with installer & Cydia! Full album in comments.", "Ohhhh baby, a whole 8 gigs!", "That’s half of my 6s Plus! System files take up 10gb out of 16 lmao" ]	I’m so glad Apple got rid of the 16GB base; 32 is actually usable lol
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Dead Kennedys - Nazi Punks Fuck Off Punk", "<URL> If you haven't seen the movie Green Room, check it out." ]	So good, that scene where he sticks his hand out. Christ
SARCASM	[ "Steve Jobs, Apple CEO, has died.", "Well, there goes the protest coverage." ]	god damn billionaires!! it's not always about you!
NOT_SARCASM	[ "This is how I handle a creepy PM", "IM GOING TO DO THIS AND I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD", "GO FORTH MY CHILD MAKE ME PROUD.", "WE HAVE NO NEED OF THINE FLAIL", "JUST MISGUIDED FLAME QUIVERING AT ASH" ]	how the heck did dark souls hijack this? I only recognized the line because I fought friede last night
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Being a real grown up isn’t cooking a fancy dinner, it’s having a clean kitchen when you go to bed after cooking a fancy dinner.", "I feel attacked right now. Who let you into my house?", "We are all in each other’s houses :( we’ve all been there", "ಠ_ಠ" ]	How'd you get in here? What is this, a crossover episode?
NOT_SARCASM	[ "My husband entered his first art competition and won second place in peoples choice, Im so very proud!", "He looks like he gives great hugs.", "The very best!", "Faith in your manatee restored!", "Faith in HuManatee restored! FTFY", "[deleted]" ]	Tell him a that is great drawing. I'm trying to get my motivation to draw back and I think he has inspired me.
SARCASM	[ "Remilia (Maria Creveling, ex Misfits and Renegades player) has passed away", "She was playing with qt last month on Twitch rivals, RIP", "they were so funny together, man this sucks.", "Twitch rivals group stage was splitted into two days and I just watched QT on one day. Remilia didn't sound happy during the games at all, she mentioned that she had to win games for the prize money to pay her medication, it was very rough to hear that, QT and Remi went 0-3 that day. Also she mentioned that she had no friends / family and QT tried to cheer her up by saying that their whole team was family. I wish someone could have helped her out.", ">she mentioned that she had to win games for the prize money to pay her medication What a shitty country", "Healthcare is a human right" ]	Nah I don’t wanna pay a portion of my earnings to save someone’s life. Screw those commies
SARCASM	[ "AOC quotes the bible after Sarah Sanders tells her to leave climate change to God: ‘God says to serve and protect creation’", "Bammm, roasted Huckabee. I mean really, Christian Conservatives should WANT to protect the earth if god made it.. but no, it seems like they don't get that.", "I went to a conservative Christian school in the 90s. We celebrated Earth Day. The Earth was God’s gift to us so we should be good stewards of that gift and not recklessly destroy it. They weren’t at Green Peace level but practical things like recycling, conserving water, biking to school if you can were recommended. Now wanting clean drinking water is a political statement." ]	Are you saying everyone deserves clean water!? Sounds like FILTHY FUCKING COMMUNISM
NOT_SARCASM	[ "We’re back. Here’s your Terminator: Dark Fate trailer that doesn’t give the movie away.", "[Youtube link](<URL>", "Can we expect to see you really throwing yourself into the action of this one?", "Let’s just say that during my shoot, the shares of Advil went through the roof.", "You still look like you can beat the Predator in CQC, sir! What's your weekly workout routine like?" ]	Darn that makes me want another predator movie with real writers and a director who doesent want to parody his own material.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Last Fallout 76 player officially deemed the loneliest person on earth", "Source is <URL> Cheers /u/0xnull Author is /u/Zwiezenz" ]	"...I am alone now, truly alone, and absolutely isolated from any known life. I am it" - Michael Collins, astronaut.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Bernie Sanders hitting a single at Iowa’s Field of Dreams!", "Man, are juiced at all levels this year", "Whose are juiced?" ]	I can tell you whose aren't if that helps narrow it down.
SARCASM	[ "A scathing new Pentagon report blames trump for the return of ISIS in Syria and Iraq", "It's almost as if trump doesn't know what he's doing at all", "It's almost as if as if his big donors want a war. See Erik Prince." ]	But why would they want that? It's not like there is profit in war or something.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Discussion The hypocrisy of this subreddit", "I completely agree. All you hear is \"price sheets shouldn't exist\". Then people offer an \"overpay\" and people are like \"You know that said item is more than other item, so you shouldn't be offering that\". Figure yourselves out guys.", "the price sheet should be in your head and obviously it should be the same for everybody, duh" ]	ITT: 15 year olds argue over virtual game item economics.
SARCASM	[ "Snowing at sea", "i remember once i was on one of the tiny islands of the Aran Islands in the West of Ireland. Our guide told us when it snows, it never sticks because of the amount of salt from the sea water constantly washing up on the island, the snow melts instantly when it lands. Duno how true that is but it sounds plausible and i found it interesting at the time", "Snow hardly ever sticks in my part of Ireland too, but that's usually due to the copious, near constant rain. We're a beautiful, green country, but that comes at a terrible price.", "I'd love to live somewhere rainy like that so long as there wasn't cold winters!", "So Ireland? Our winters are very mild, especially this year." ]	Sounds nice. How's the beer? But for real though how's that immigration policy?
SARCASM	[ "Donald trump is an Idiot, Bernie Sanders Tweets on Saturday Afternoon", "[deleted]", "Must be those pesky Chinese and their Climate Change Hoax, stealing our shorelines again!", "I mean you can see Russia from Alaska, we should really be checking there first, I suspect they’re siphoning the beaches somehow.", "Nope Russian is great and doesn't have anything to do with election interference I asked them.", "Fuck, well thats reassuring. Let’s make sure to cut funding to voting protection, won’t be needing that." ]	Good thing we have a National holiday to go vote.
SARCASM	[ "Chaos and bloodshed in Hong Kong district as hundreds of masked men assault protesters, journalists, residents.", "[Video](<URL>) shows a pair of patrolling police officers walked away just before the mayhem starts. 999 emergency line operators allegedly hung up on citizens who sought help. Riot police only arrived right after the armed thugs left. Edit: To all who questioned the context of the video and validity of emergency line operators hanging up, please READ the article first. You \"don't see any mayhem\" because like I said, it didn't start until there was no police presence. There are multiple videos within the article link if you so want to watch crooks dressed in white beating up innocent people.", "The thugs are probably other cops.", "Of course, who in Hong Kong actually wants to be more legally integrated to China?" ]	Clearly, the thugs in Hong Kong do. Why wouldn't they want to be deported to china and stripped for parts?
SARCASM	[ "PSG 1-3 Manchester United - Rashford 90+ (PK) (3-3 agg.)", "there is a god but he definitely hates PSG", "And Buffon.", "He's got a WC, he's fine", "He won a penalty shootout in a WC final IIRC. That is probably the greatest thing a goal keeper can achieve.", "He also had a front row seat for the greatest headbutt of all time." ]	And now that he's at PSG, one of the greatest buttheads of all time!
NOT_SARCASM	[ "FTC Says Warranty Void If Removed Stickers Are Bullshit, Warns Manufacturers Theyre Breaking the Law", "Whoever reported this for editorializing, that is literally the title of the article. Please stop spamming reports simply because you disagree with the article.", "I wish Canada could get in on some of this action. I used Samsung's online chat once, to ask a question about my Samsung Chromebook...I had to put the serial number in to get to the chat, and as soon as they saw my serial number and heard I was Canadian they voided my warranty because I bought it from Amazon US, and they're not an authorized Samsung retailer for Canadian residents! Warranty seems pointless these days, it's just a checklist of how they will screw you.", "[deleted]", "[deleted]", "This is completely fucked, what do you even do in this instance" ]	Sue the retailer, that's who the contract's with
SARCASM	[ "Ohio State sued after trying to stop sports network from using letter O in logo", "Christ no wonder everyone hates us.", "That, the whole “the” thing, that waste of oxygen buckeye guy, and more.", "Hey even us Buckeye fans hate Buck-I-Guy. Edit:spelling", "He's a customer of mine, not gonna specify for what, but he is very full of himself. acts as though we should be thrilled to have him as a costumer and should get special treatment. 0/10 do not reccomend.", "Found the coke dealer ", "I was gonna say \"escort\"." ]	Phft THE Buck I Guy wouldn't have to pay for sex. They pay him
SARCASM	[ "If this post reaches 2000 upskys. this subreddit will become a Mr Robot sub in support of Hello Games binge", "\"I admit that I was there in the beginning for drama\"...thanks for confirming my suspicions Barky. You are indeed, a perfect mod for this place. Can this be classed as self-advertising if you're linking to your own YouTube channel?", "Uh, Barky didn't make this post.", "I know \"he\" didn't, but you obviously talked about it right, got his approval?" ]	They had to get Sean's approval first.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Judge orders White House to return Jim Acostas press pass", "Posting this here for visibility and for those who want to learn about the legal precedent that this ruling was based on. Judge Kelly (a Trump appointee, not that it should matter) is bound by precedent set in the Sherill case which you can read here. His ruling will make much more sense after you read it: <URL> Sherill TLDR: In order to revoke a pass, The White House must follow the process requirements set forth in the Sherill case/Administrative Procedure Act (written notice, opportunity for hearing over the matter) The White House likely didn’t follow the process and that’s in part why the judge ruled the way he did. To be clear, my understanding is that this is just a temporary restoration of Acosta’s pass. P.S. I’m not a lawyer and I only know this because I was literally in the courtroom on Wednesday to listen to the arguments. Shoutout to my new buddy R, who I met at the courthouse and who helped me understand a lot of this. P.P.S: There are actually two matters at hand here. First, the legality of the process by which Acosta’s hard pass was revoked. (This is what is being discussed currently) Second is whether Acosta’s first amendment rights were violated, (That may come later in a separate lawsuit as far as I can tell) P.P.P.S For what’s it worth, I think there is a good chance that they will settle much of the rest of this out of court. It is my belief that a settlement is in the WH’s best interest to avoid further motions/decisions against them." ]	… and this had to happen before any first amendment issue could be considered. I hope people see this.
SARCASM	[ "Four year old returned to abusive mother", "Why is he being returned to his abusive mother, doesn’t make sense to me", "From the blog it looks like the father moved out of the state that the custody order was created in which may have been a violation. A parent who gets into trouble like the mother did can work to regain custody through therapy, removing themselves from the situation thanks caused them to lose custody, and getting a better lawyer. If mom has been working to improve her situation and the court thinks all is well and dad violated the order by moving without the proper process this kind of thing can happen." ]	It's always nice to see my town making the news.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "The effect of Measles on a healthy 45 year old that wasnt vaccinated in Auckland.", "this is genuinely so upsetting given how preventable this individual's suffering could have been. I received my first MMR vaccine this year (age 22). However, I am one of the rare individuals who is allergic to everything and went into anaphylactic shock and required a load of adrenaline etc upon receiving it - this is RARE. I wasn't allowed to get my booster, so, it me off that people are willingly choosing not to get immunised at the expense of people like me who still may be at risk. SMH." ]	With one you're still 95% safe I think so that's something
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Google announces Android 5.0 Lollipop", "\"New handy controls like flashlight, hotspot, screen rotation and cast screen controls\". Finally.", "I hope that you can customise which ones appear, not holding my breath but it would be great." ]	There were runours of just that, after parts of the code 'leaked'.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Jeffrey Epsteins autopsy more consistent with homicidal strangulation than suicide, Dr. Michael Baden reveals", "[removed]", "Such a good man. I’m so sad that he died next Tuesday. Gone too soon indeed.", "remindme! 6 days.", "Remindme! 7 days.", "Geez this is dark" ]	if it makes you feel any better the next terraria pc update is planned for tuesday
SARCASM	[ "History professor teaches about the first man in space.", "Dude was handsome af", "Apparently that’s one of the main reasons according to soviet officials why they asked him to be the first man in space. They knew his face was going to be everywhere afterwards." ]	Typical, the uglos do all the work and the prettyboy gets the credit.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Graziano The Chiefs have released Kareem Hunt.", "We'll try it out. Enjoy.", "So he definitely lied to the chiefs right?", "Chiefs put out a statement saying he lied to them." ]	but do they have a video of it
SARCASM	[ "Conor’s recent announcement", "Oh boy. Here we go again", "I hope Dana is as tired of this as we are.", "He has no one to replace him with so he can’t afford to be tired." ]	>no one to replace him >literally have olympic gold medalist Henry Cejudo on the roster wake up, man
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Black bro gets what equality is actually about", "Where White People Meet sounds like a Jeopardy clue. What is Chick-Fil-A, Alex?", "[deleted]" ]	I'm sorry but you're both wrong. The real answer is, "what is Panera Bread?"
SARCASM	[ "Thailand cave rescue: All 12 boys, coach freed, latest updates", "What awesome news and great efforts from everyone around the world. Take a moment to remember the Thai SEAL, Saman Kunan, who gave his life for this mission.", "I would expect a shrine in his honor will be built near the cave.", "That area of Thailand is really poor. I hope they build a few schools in his honor too.", "For the kids. That's what would honor his memory the best.", "One positive about all the media attention is that these kids will actually receive the medical and psychological care they need.", "If this worldwide media attention doesn't mean it follows through, then nothing will.", "The 2010 Chilean miners had worldwide media attention. Most suffer from severe PTSD now and none were compensated for their ordeal. I'm hoping this outcome is different." ]	Children are more emotive to the public. And they are resilient. I have high hopes for them. Men don't have emotions, remember?
SARCASM	[ "One of my teachers has a D.Va wrap on their entire car. I don’t know the teacher though. Sorry I had to blur their plates through Snapchat.", "Why do some heroes like dva have such loyal followers? Like I’ve never seen anyone wearing a road hog shirt.", "DVa has more easily accessible merchandise. Most \"geek trend\" stores have something in them. Plus it's also a safe play when in public. Fewer trolls and assholes around the character. Wore Hanzo leggings once and was told \"you're a shitty player because you're a woman and play Hanzo.\" Real mature to say to a complete stranger." ]	Gonna wear a Sniper shirt someday to see if people maul me. I know i would.
SARCASM	[ "Post Match Thread England 1 - Iceland 2", "Hodg*son* It was an inside job boys" ]	roy, son of hodge has honored his fatherland by beating the scum english.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Hooray to Jennifer Aniston, whos turning 50 today. May she speak her childfree mind for another 50 years!", "Why do I have to be mothering at all?? I have no problem with a societal obligation to take care of others (as in donate to charity, do volunteer work, something of that nature) but the specific obligation to be mothering? Nah, fuck that.", "I'm mothering my cat very well, m'am. She's in a good state, soft and keeps me warm at night.", "Mine's kinda bitey. I don't know where I went wrong!", "My kitty farts on me, I know I failed him." ]	Those are love farts. You failed no one.
SARCASM	[ "The 16 year old version of you just moved in and is now your new roommate. Whats the first thing you two would fight about?", "We would fight about who's actually the oldest (I'm 16)", "Well, assuming that that would be your 16th birthday version of you, you’d be older" ]	But what if it's my birthday today
SARCASM	[ "In less than a month, net neutrality could be a thing of the past. Heroes, the internet needs you now more than ever!", "Does this effect Canada? Probably not.", "No" ]	Great, we're enjoying the status quo here of highest priced internet and the slowest speeds in the developed world
NOT_SARCASM	[ "I hope Pokémon GO will stay around for years to come. Not because of the game, but because it demands a good battery.", "Or powerbanks will have an impressive increase on sells", "Our IT guy at work was trying to buy some charge cables for company ipads at best buy on Monday. He said they were completely sold out of chargers AND powerbanks", "Work for Best Buy. Been sold out of powerbanks all week. The main problem isn't because of the frequency of purchases, it's that powerbanks were such a low priority before this, so they were never rapidly replenished. We carried 50 different kinds at wildly variable prices, so they were like \"we'll never even sell through these!\" Then the storm fell.", "Winter is here my friend", "Charzard in the North!" ]	THE NORTH HAS ONLY ONE BIRD, WHOSE NAME IS ARTICUNO
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Police warn they may use live ammo on protesters in Hong Kong", "Well this warning came in a little too late didn’t it?", "Its probably a confused time traveling news agency", "For the first time, I completely understand why America doesn’t want to let go of their guns and I agree with it. :(", "That's basically the original point of the 2nd Amendment, that you'd never lack the ability to defend yourself against an occupying power 🙄🙄, so many replies all of a sudden", "Right. Without a means of being able to defend yourself and your rights, none of the other amendments really matter." ]	Eh, freedom of speech and press are on par, without them you cant organize the resistance. Those three all rely on eachother.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Serious Americans, would you be in support of putting a law in place that government officials, such as senators and the president, go without pay during shutdowns like this while other federal employees do? Why, or why not?", "Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice * Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted in any comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.", "At face value I would think it's a good idea, but I saw someone pointed out a rather logical reason why it wouldn't: basically the wealthier representatives could wait out the poorer ones.", "Worse yet, the representatives whose lobbyists have the bigger pockets can keep them afloat.", "The money in politics from lobbying is the issue. If we could somehow just be a democracy rather than treating politics like a business and see \"lobbying\" for what it is, someome paying to push their own agenda, we would be a step closer to being able to do this. Not as easy as it sounds though", "> see \"lobbying\" for what it is Bribery" ]	I just get when and how politicians have been able to hold agencies and Federal worker's hostage? Why isn't there laws to make it illegal?
SARCASM	[ "People are complaining but when was the last time they donated 45$?", "The left is a bunch of unprincipled, greedy, worthless.", "The complainers were probably watching television, partying with friends, and sleeping in while Bezos was creating a business that literally changed how we buy products and consume content." ]	I guess that means he can evade tax with impunity? good to see your laws are universally applied
SARCASM	[ "TIL the Japanese bullet train system is equipped with a network of sensitive seismometers. On March 11, 2011, one of the seismometers detected an 8.9 magnitude earthquake 12 seconds before it hit and sent a stop signal to 33 trains. As a result, only one bullet train derailed that day.", "This was the same earthquake that caused the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant disaster.", "Technically it was human error that caused the disaster...", "If you call just not building a high enough seawall human error, which I guess it could be considering they were warned of the possibility." ]	They should’ve hired trump to help them with their wall.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Trump sells Qatar $12 Billion of U.S. Weapons days after accusing it of funding Terrorism", ">The full arms sale, of over $20 billion, was notified in November 2016. This means it had already been authorized by congress and the executive branch, when President Obama was in office, before the Trump administration came into office. Eventually, Qatar is set to receive 36 American-made F15s. Yeah, I read the actual article...", "Im not a smart man so correct me if this doesnt warrant a \"thanks obama\"", "Depends on whether or not your approve of the deal. I guess that phrase is valid either way, it's just got some quantum sarcasm." ]	Why the fuck should THAT be beyond halfway down the article?
SARCASM	[ "Raikkonen runs over a pit mechanic", "Bring back fueling.", "1-stops are taking over so hard. They need to bring it back. Opens op so many strategic choices." ]	But refuelling made for boring and uninteresting races
SARCASM	[ "we are in a great debt...", "Get ready for Phase 4, it's only 3 months later", "Unless SM:FFH takes place before the events of Infinity War.", "It takes place after. It's already been confirmed.", "Even if it is it doesn't mean anything. It was confirmed that the title for A4 wasn't gonna be Endgame" ]	Because the title is Avengers Endgame, duh.
SARCASM	[ "Those damn millennials are at it again", "This isn't funny. Not because it's perceived as offensive, but because it isn't funny" ]	Oh wow so minorities cant be funny now? FUCK YOU
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Josh Gordon - Im Coming Home", "Fuck it, I'm starting him.", "One of us", "Gooble Gobble!!", "I'm a lock for the playoffs. Considering starting him and only him.", "I mean, I'd say it's kind of a move if your opponent is fighting for a playoff spot. Benching 8 players and taunting him with victory only to beat him with a single wide receiver is kind of mean." ]	My opponent is 2-10 (I am 10-2). Is it a move to start only Josh Gordon?
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Shout out to Bitwit for the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen! <URL>", "I don't know who Bitwit is, but the kind of guy who would meet a fan in public, and then turn around and do something like this made me subscribe.", "he does high end pc builds on youtube", "Not just high-end, but he also does quite a few budget oriented builds.", "and got a good looking wifey too", "Good looking AND active on the channel. She cares about him :)" ]	It's been fun watching her get more and more involved with the channel over the years and progressively get better at PC building as well.
SARCASM	[ "Highlight The Dolphins pull off the miraculous trick play from the goal line with a touchdown thrown by the punter Matt Haack to the kicker Jason Sanders", "One of the greatest trick plays ever. Holy shit.", "Punter no look flicks it to the Kicker for a TD. Glorious.", "Belichick just felt a disturbance in the force.", "BB: \"I have the weirdest boner\"", "Watch him have Forbath bomb a 40 yarder to Danny Shelton tonight", "[deleted]" ]	Who knows he might have been playing the wrong position his entire life.
SARCASM	[ "Tom Brady made a Tik Tok and it’s the best thing I’ve seen", "I find it hilarious that he coulda gotten blasted by at least one Jet and they all avoided touching him like he was a buck naked hobo with no teeth waddling down a bustling city sidewalk. Edit: who the hell is Kraft/Belichick/Brady/Wahlberg paying off? The refs’ union??", "dude's untouchble, literally, in the league. Aint no one daring to touch this dude." ]	They don't want to be hit with that 21K fine. Obviously... probably
NOT_SARCASM	[ "#JustSendBitch 😂😂😂", "\"You can't find it on Google.\" That's often the case with bullshit that you've just made up.", "Unfortunately, [he didn't make it up](<URL>" ]	TIL that urban dictionary is a peer-reviewed, valid source for disease reference.
SARCASM	[ "Humor Theres two kinds of people...", "I've got twenty bucks that says special snow flake doesn't have OCD.", "Guarantee it's self diagnosed" ]	Well considering that science is a tool of the patriarchy and was born from white supremacy can you really blame her?
SARCASM	[ "CDPR: Cyberpunk 2077 Has No Pre-Order Bonus So That Everyone Can Get The “Same Content”", "They really are dribbling out the damn news on this one aren't they? I swear there's been one or two articles about some 2077 'news' every day now for quite some time.", "Is CDPR doing the dribbling, or news services wanting to have a clickable article about this game every day between now and April?", "And I'd be surprised if it's not delayed further than that.", "[deleted]" ]	Well, I hope they at least add in English voice acting by release date. ....I'm sorry.
SARCASM	[ "Emery: \"Arsenals environment is all about respect. When I was at PSG , I tried to communicate in French but people were sarcastically mocking my efforts. Here at Arsenal, I speak broken English but all I hear is complementary words for putting the efforts in and trying to speak\"", "[deleted]", "It’s because us brits are useless at other languages for the most part, so are relieved when someone else does the hard work for us." ]	Everyone understands English, you just got to say it S-L-O-W-L-Y and LOUDER...
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Samsung pulls own ads after ditching headphone jack", "The moment those ads went up for the S9, I knew this day would come.", "[It isn't the first time either.](<URL>", "Fuck I miss removable batteries. Honestly I don't use my headphone jack much/at all. But fuck I miss removable batteries.", "I remember when Samsung made fun of Apple for putting the headphone jack on the bottom. Lol", "Bottom is by far the best placement for it.", "At this point I'll take any placement haha. Beggars can't be choosers.", "Halfway up the side.", "In the middle of the screen.", "Hovering in the space three feet to the left of the phone.", "Is that for a Bethesda made phone?" ]	In a little removable cable that plugs into the charging port
SARCASM	[ "QP told me to put this on reddit", "Now THESE are the type of highlights that should be on the front page" ]	No, I'm pretty sure we all want to see more Mercys pressing Q
SARCASM	[ "I dont know why I get called a Boomer. I have a gaming PC...", "does candy crush run at good fps?", "Of course, I run an Intel chip, and they have the best \"real world\" performance.", "so im new in the gaming industry, but why does \"real world performance\" matter so much? i mostly play fantasy games so im using a simulated world does that matter??", "Real world performance slides were used by Intel, after AMD slapped them around like a little sissy with their new chips. It was kind of a scandal, since Intel used laptop statistics for what is considered \"real world\" to compare against AMD's desktop parts, which often times get used for more intensive workflows.", "And here i am still on an i7 from 2010 and gtx560m on ddr2 RAM." ]	> ddr2 are you 90 years old?!?
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Pigeon Simulator 2019", "For a second I forgot about the other simulator games. I saw this gameplay and thought “Oh this is neat. Just flying around, running into things, exploring a city. Very relaxing.” And then the fucking hotdog cart exploded.", "My first thought was, \"I better be able to shit on things.\"", "same! would also appreciate the ability to spread disease and steal people’s chips", "You don't need a game to do either of those, go live out your dreams.", "I’m now anti-vaxx and I steal Doritos, but only the small bags and only the regular corn chips. Some people think this is a horrible way to live life, I just tell them it’s a short life 🤷🏽‍♂️" ]	Its not really a long life if you’re anti-vaxx.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Men of Reddit, what are somethings a mom should know while raising a boy?", "You will not believe how much he'll eat as a teenager." ]	I read this as “You will not believe how much he’ll eat as a teenager”
SARCASM	[ "Too real", "Hello. I am also a team that lost by double digits to Nova.", "Can we start a support group?" ]	You know, if you had just been more disciplined on defense, that wouldn't have happened.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Illumix is the best company on this planet", "This confirms sex is canon to FNaF.", "might put a dampener on the whole \"Michael looks pretty much exactly like William bc William reproduced via mitosis\" theory", "Yeah that also kida debunk the theory that William is god and he created all the human race so everyone and everything in the planet earth is a robot." ]	I want that theory to be true. wistful sigh
NOT_SARCASM	[ "SERIOUS Would you reduce your meat consumption if lab-grown meat or meat alternatives were cheaper and tasted good? Why or why not?", "Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice * Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted in any comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.", "Sure. If it's cheaper I'll use it wherever texture permits, especially if it means no more dealing with bones, gristle and gross tubey things.", "My childhood was ruined by those tubey things... and those weird chewable salmon bones that come in tinned salmon.", "Never had tinned salmon and now I never will.", "Fuck that noise. Get some canned salmon and make some beautiful salmon patties.", "Yeah, it's pretty good breaded and fried. I like it dipped in ketchup, others prefer tartar sauce.", "In Mississippi folks eat them for breakfast and dip in syrup. Not my particular jam-I’ll stick with eggs.", "My Mom literally made these with eggs for breakfast for me this morning because I'm sick. I asked for oatmeal.", "Do you eat with syrup? I’m an old lady who’s never had a salmon croquette.", "Yes ma'am, she insisted. I haven't had them in ages, and it was delicious.", "My grandma used to make them with mashed potatoes and creamed peas. Plop down a spoonfull of mashed potatoes, put a fried salmon patty on top, and then a ladle full of creamy peas to top it all off. Yummy. Those were the good ole days." ]	I just really love that you said yes ma'am. Reminds me of home in Louisiana
SARCASM	[ "Our group Halloween costume this year...", "I'm trick or treating as a Safety House" ]	I bet you get all the kids!
NOT_SARCASM	[ "This is Arnaud Beltrame, a French police officer who swapped himself for a hostage today and is now fighting for his life", "Dear regulars & visitors from /r/all. Thread is now unlocked again, if you have any complaints regarding how we handled this case please take them to [modmail](<URL> or /r/Europemeta. We've also woken up to news that Col. Arnaud Beltrame has [died of his wounds this morning](<URL> may he rest in peace. To quote a user who sent this via PM during the night (I hope he doesn't mind): >Officer Beltrame represents the best of us. His sacrifice and willingness to put himself where he did shows how we need to respond to this: With love for one another and a willingness to sacrifice for humankind that stands in contrast to their willingness to destroy. Please try to be respectful in general and mind our [subreddit rules](<URL> ______ Previous sticky message below: Dear visitors from /r/all: We're sorry to say but due to it being night time in Europe at this point in time (and weekend!) the moderation team that's around right now has decided to lock this thread for the night due to the amount of already increasing rule violations. It will be reopened in the morning, hopefully with good news in this case specifically. Let's all hope he pulls through. <3 Kind regards, -the mod team of /r/Europe.", "He also had the presence of mind to leave his phone lying around with an open line so his colleagues could hear what was going on inside.", "Yep. And the journalists were stupid enough to reveal this bright idea.", "Please tell me this isn't true. I know they have form, during the other supermarket terrorist incident in France they broadcast that there was people hiding in the freezers, I would have thought they learned their lesson.", "About the yesterday attack, the journalists told afterwards that bright idea. But they told it anyways, so the next crazies will now know about that trick. When I wrote my initial comment , I had indeed in mind that supermarket event in mind." ]	Yeah, but so will hostages. It's probably a wash.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "HALO INFINITE - E3 2018 - ANNOUNCEMENT TRAILER", "This is the one. EDIT: to win the karma race.", "<URL> If anyone was wondering, confirmed as a direct sequel to Halo 5... so Halo 6.", "Tbh I had hoped that they would keep the numbering up until Halo 7", "I agree. Why stop numbering now? Lol. Weird, but whatever. Still stoked." ]	It could be a bridge between Halo 5 and Halo 6 similar to Assassin's Creed 2,Brotherhood, Revelations.
SARCASM	[ "Iraqi Parliament Votes to Expel All American Troops and Submit UN Complaint Against US for Violation of Sovereignty. \"What happened was a political assassination. Iraq cannot accept this.\"", "If the chatter on social media is true, trump asked the Iraqi PM to mediate with Iran on our behalf. Soleimani traveled to Iraq for that purpose, and we killed him. That is not a good look, especially if we knew why he was there. What the actual fuck. URL This is a Washington Post reporter in Baghdad, not some rando. ETA: Here is another journalist (Atlantic, Guardian) with the same reporting: URL ETA2: And another from NPR: URL", "I love how a deep state blogger asked for a source from Jane Arraf, and she responded with essentially, \"The Iraqi PM is the source.\" EDIT: Also, holy shit!" ]	Iraqi PM is a deep state liberal out to get trump obviously
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Tesla Turns Power Back On At Childrens Hospital In Puerto Rico", "You don't see Edison doing that.", "He would electrocute Puerto Rico to demonstrate what happens when you use Tesla." ]	<URL> "They'll say 'Awww, Topsy' at my auuuuuutopsy..."
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Vettel taking off a Mercedes cap on a kid, replaces it with a Ferrari cap", "TIL how to steal a driver's cap." ]	1) Be a kid. 2) Wear a rival driver's hat 3) ... 4) Profit
SARCASM	[ "Chinese poster for Spirited Away, to be screened for the first time in China", "This is legit one of my favorite movies ever", "Same. This and princess mononoke are probably my two favourite animated movies of all time", "the best thing about ghibli films is that no 2 people have the same top 5, and that is perfectly valid, since all the movies are amazing", "Miyazaki films, probably. But I would argue glibli as a whole are FAR less reliable. I found Whisper of the Heart to be rather forgettable and Tales from Earthsea to be actually unwatchable. I watch a lot of movies and basically always watch them from beginning to end regardless of how I feel about them in order to get a full opinion of them. But with Tales from Earthsea both me and my wife couldn’t get through more than half an hour or so; it’s just so violently boring. Half an hour in and the story didn’t even feel like it started yet, and the first 10 minutes or so was just exposition that was explained in a few seconds by another character a little later. It was so boring it made me angry. Based on those 2 movies, I tend to avoid non Miyazaki Ghibli, although I also own Pom Poko which I am yet to watch; I hope it bucks the trend" ]	Fuck you man, tales from earthsea is my favorite miyazaki film
SARCASM	[ "Those Meddling Kids", "I just read The Silver Eyes last week and I actually told my husband, \"This is some Scooby-Doo garbage here.\"", "how dare you call scooby-doo garbage?" ]	Unfortunately, I've always hated Scooby-Doo. I won't apologize for it.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Macron wins French presidency by decisive margin over Le Pen", "Feast your eyes upon our [electoral map](<URL> !", "That's something Macron can whip out when he visits the White House.", "Yup. Get Trudeau in there too, cuz as an American, I would like nothing more than to see the international community fight back against this shitty surge of nationalist ignorance, and shady bullshit.", "Yikes, that's like some Reagan-Mondale type domination." ]	Yeah, except for all the social justice and tolerance !
NOT_SARCASM	[ "These three ceiling fans run off of one motor", "This was the original design for ceiling fans. At one time, they all worked this way.", "And grampa had to sit in the corner peddlin'", "Want some air movement? That's a peddlin'.", "A cool breeze on a hot day? Thats a peddlin'.", "Peddlin’ the school fan? You better believe that’s a peddlin'" ]	Urks raid your ancestral home? That's a grudgin'.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Twenty-Two Attorneys General Sue The FCC Over Net Neutrality Repeal", "It's nice to see they're actually trying to do something about it." ]	Yeah, imagine that.. politicians actually caring about people. Never thought I’d see the day. Next up is to get clown out of office.
SARCASM	[ "Josh Rosen on the attention he got for unfollowing the Cardinals: “I wonder if I unfollow Parley for the Oceans a climate change awareness group, that will bring the same kind of attention for their organization, and maybe we can save the planet.”", "Rosen roasted Steve Smith and Peter Schrager in this statement. Lol" ]	Better be careful! Roasting Steve Smith is a good way to wind up with a broken jaw! ...kinda
SARCASM	[ "Thanks Telus. Youve billed me $5 for 1kB of data that my bill shows I didnt use. Since you cant answer your phone (2h on hold today), here I am trying to reach you on Reddit.", "Contact the wireless ombudsman and in 30 days you should have a response. They reversed my charges and gave me a $50 credit for my time. URL", "What the heck? I had no idea a representative was called ”ombudsman”. It’s actually a Swedish word (and therefore probably Danish/Norwegian as well).", "Just looked it up (I am danish) it is from swedish, but is commonly used in Danish aswel... Good job svenskjävel" ]	> it is from swedish Which is exactly why we don't use that word in Finland
SARCASM	[ "What are some of the most interesting 24/7 live-streaming webcams to watch from around the world?", "The NASA Livestream from the ISS (International Space Station). Technically not 24/7 because you can't see when the Space Station is on the night side of the earth (half the time, 45 minutes at a time) or when there is a loss of signal. [ISS Livestream with live map of the position of the Space Station](<URL>)" ]	This isnt really live. They have to edit it for round Earth propaganda.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "People who pile on generic YouTube comments like “Who’s watching in 2019”, why do you do this?", "To get likes, just like how people make generic reddit comments to get upvotes", "Youtube likes don't even accumulate into a total like count, unlike reddit karma", "True but I can see someone totally enjoying their little moments of YouTube comment fame", "Plus they get a notification \"X liked your comment\" - YEY, MOMMY, LOOK , BILLY LIKED MY COMMENT." ]	Oh they do? I only get it like every 3 months and then I notice I have 60 likes on some comment.
SARCASM	[ "Haynes Free agent forward Kawhi Leonard will sign with the Los Angeles Clippers, league sources tell Yahoo Sports.", "Wait so every reporter has no credibility Edit:Apparently only woj has crediblity. Double edit: [Posts that didn't age well](<URL>)", "Woj does. He said Clippers until the end.", "Lakers fans told me Clippers were out of the running tho?" ]	Why would anyone sign with the Clippers when the Lakers have so much history
SARCASM	[ "\"Ashley Massaro recently died. Her affidavit when she sued WWE includes her being encouraged by Vince McMahon not to report that she was drugged and raped by US military staff while on tour in Kuwait. Content warning - this is sickening reading. \"", "RVD was right to not volunteer to perform for the troops", "RVD just always seems to have a good head about him anyways." ]	Smoked pot though. Lock that man up and throw away the key!
SARCASM	[ "Merry Christmas Y’all", "Please tell me someone shushed him though!", "You must be real fun at parties" ]	Shoulda put the and yes I’m the obvious guy
NOT_SARCASM	[ "heh", "I hate when i see people saying that you should put your unwanted child to be adopted rather than aborting.. as if living in a foster care is awesome and the dream of every child :T", "As if the adult woman who has to endure nine grueling months of pregnancy, carrying a child she doesn't want and possibly suffering permanent life-altering physical effects doesn't matter at all.", "Well she has to pay for having the chutzpah to be having s-e-x. For fun. The unmarried hussy. And that kid, that kid needs to pay for being born from sin. If we provide all these women with actual alternatives to motherhood, like family planning or gasp being childless by choice, they might start thinking they have value beyond their genitals. Can you imagine that? A bunch of uppity women with bodily autonomy?", "Sounds pretty dangerous. Letting people put themselves first and make their own choices? Picking careers? Letting them think they’re more than just incubators?? Sounds like human rights or something to me...", "Bunch of liberal bullshit" ]	Ok, I think I have finally found my people xD
SARCASM	[ "Anyone having issues with ESPN fantasy?", "\"Please ensure you have a strong internet connection\" Really ESPN you're trying to blame me for your shitty app?" ]	Are you holding your iPhone correctly? Problems are usually with the user, not the technology
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Ah yes", "Me when my $370 motherboard comes with a coaster", "My $299 asrock taichi x570 came with a fucking postcard... Wtf am I gonna do with that", "As if you're ever leaving the house after buying that bad boy", "Lot of high res redditing", "[deleted]" ]	oh fuck i forgot about spacedicks. thanks for the reminder...
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Fuck CNN, having hockey in Las Vegas is a big deal.", ">fuck CNN Really you could have stopped there", "Fox news is biased against liberals. MSNBC is biased against conservatives. CNN is baised against news.", "Like Obama said, \"Jake Tapper left journalism to join CNN.\"", "\"I admire CNN's dedication to covering all angles of a story, in hopes that one of them is accurate\" was also hilarious.", "That is why they just hired Corey lewandowski as their political \" commentator\"", "Are you serious?" ]	Like they know jack shit about hockey anyway. Fuckin assholes.
SARCASM	[ "If you could eliminate a race within the year, which would it be, and why?", "This will be amusing if it hits /r/all Edit: Hi /r/all :)", "Why is that?" ]	He's right, I was thinking Americans, because we are just kind of a potluck of people and not one race.
SARCASM	[ "During a community event a man explains about racism that his son experiences daily. Other man responds with racism", "Theres alot of comments in support, I find that more than strange when the mans point is null. The father isnt critiquing all of america he is clearly pointing out that theres a bullying issue in the school. Kinda sad to see what kinda bottom dwellers arise when given the chance to flaunt their bigotry...", "Exactly! He wasn’t criticizing the USA; he was criticizing the bullying." ]	But bullying is a cherished tradition in this country, like baseball and thanksgiving.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Netflix announces series where \"sleeper cars\" race supercars for bragging rights", "No one from Detroit says \"I'm from \"DEEtroit.\" This looks like one of those shows where they take five minutes of footage and turn it into a 90 minute special.", "Yep, a few minutes of racing and the rest of the show is contrived drama, no thanks." ]	I'm always amazed at how many different camera angles it takes to make a lambo run a 58 second 1/4 mile.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "“Its official! Binding of Isaac: Repentance is the FINAL (for real this time) DLC for isaac. it will include the amazing Antibirth mod + a ton more content that will make you shit your butts! im working along side @FixItVinh to tweak the mod and make it canon!“", "NL's life just extended 2 years!", "At this point that's just extending infinity. Kinda redundant. It prob extended hutts tho, this is gonna be a big spike for him." ]	I agree about Hutts. Honestly seemed like he was getting tired of BoI so this will probably bring him back in all the way.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "3/2 Alphelios vs Full HP enemy team", "All 5 overextended. Any farther than the Nexus turrets is trolling.", "If you leave base you’re inting bro and I’m reporting your noob for it" ]	Still can be killed in fountain...unless you're dc. Now that's strategy
SARCASM	[ "trump Home Alone 2 scene cut from Canadian Christmas broadcasts", "It was edited before he was POTUS, it's common on TV spots to save time.", "And the article mentions this." ]	Hrmmm, the CBC reporting on the CBC, very interesting.
SARCASM	[ "Bernie Sanders unveils plan to boost broadband access, break up internet and cable titans: “We are going to take on the greedy internet, telecom, and cable monopolies and put an end to their absurd price gouging”", "Fair wages? Employees rights? Consumer protections? A medical system that won't put you into crippling debt? What are those? Are they delicious?" ]	No, that's socialism and socialism is bad.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "My dog destroyed her toy cactus, and there was another sad cactus inside", "This company not only understands dogs but also gave the value of two toys in one.", "There is probably a bill inside the sad one.", "Maybe a coupon for a new one", "Brb starting new business Nesting doll dog toys with a 25% coupon at the center", "Great concept until your dog eats it. It changes to 10% off when it hits the colon", "Brb gonna hire a lawyer just in case", "A dog lawyer or a shit lawyer? Because I recommend you hire both, or keep one on retrainer.", "Retain shit. Fire the dog. Hit the lawyer. Got it.", "Instructions unclear. Dog stuck in lawyer.", "well, at least its not the other way around, you'd have to get a new lawyer.", "Instructions unclear; dog is giving lawyer a colonoscopy" ]	Given that happens when dogs mate, I think you have more interesting problems on your hands now.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "Bernie Sanders Pledges Legal Marijuana In All 50 States On Day One As President", "Why stop at marijuana? All drugs should be decriminalized for adults.", "I agree but not through that mechanism", "You think Legalizing crack & heroin would be a good idea?", "Yeah, for two reasons. 1. The bans in place don’t actually work and only lock up non-violent addicts 2. People own their bodies, and should be able to do whatever they want with it" ]	Wow, an actual libertarian argument on /r/libertarian. What a rare sight.
NOT_SARCASM	[ "As promised, I ate my hat for Reddit because Columbus swept Tampa", "Mirrors/Alternate Angles ^^^issues? ^^^contact ^^^/u/pacefalmd", "Now I’m worried about the guy who said he’d eat his", "Canucks sub had a guy that said he'd eat his own dick, obviously didn't do it after getting harassed in every post he commented on he complained to the mods and then eventually abandoned his account. Kinda funny but kinda sad.", "this story is the internet in a nutshell. love it.", "just the last sentence is humanity in a nutshell" ]	Over promise and under deliver, that's the human way
SARCASM	[ "It really do be like that", "this is still not that good. the original solution did work and there was no need for city get involved.", "but if the stairs break and someone dies?", "What if hitting your head on concrete kills you but the softer wood just a harmless bruise?", "What if no stairs and the dirt gives way, rolls your ankle and you fall backwards and end up paralyzed for life!" ]	That’s natural events, no man made constructions to blame. It was meant to be.
SARCASM	[ "President Donald trump thinks Scientology should lose its tax-exempt status in the United States", "These people should be thrown in jail. Physical and emotional abuse, false confinement, extortion, fraud, cover-up of sexual abuse, harassment, libel, practicing medicine without a license. Revoking their tax exemption is a miniscule step in the right direction. Throw the book at them." ]	I'm sure Joel Osteen didn't do all of that? Seems such a standup guy.
SARCASM	[ "Pope Francis pledges $50M to end the Amazon wildfires. Nah just kidding, he just wants people to pray.", "Don't forget to send the thoughts with those prayers." ]	Popes thoughts are elsewhere, he is just one dude you know
NOT_SARCASM	[ "My dad waits every year for the day the sun rises just right and reflects along the railroad tracks, Today was that day!", "If he waits every year, does he have other photos of this?", "Here you go! 2012, 13, 14 <URL> <URL> <URL> Bonus Related Pictures <URL> <URL>", "Fantastic stuff, but this year's is certainly his best!", "We agree!", "It's perfectly timed to show the right amount of brightness from the sun but still be able to make out more of the scenery on the ground. And the greenery makes for great contrast." ]	That's what I always say! The greenery makes for great contrast. Need more!

NOT_SARCASM

[ "FCC Plan To Use Thanksgiving To Hide Its Attack On Net Neutrality Vastly Underestimates The Looming Backlash", "[deleted]", "They're trying to make it 1992 again.", "\"Make America 1992 Again!\"", "Back in the day, we used vacuum tubes Made In America (tm), and that's the way we liked our computers: warm and with lots of blinking lights, with none of these new-fangled \"integrated\" chips. Nice, segregated, discrete electronics, the way God intended. If you thought there was a bug in the system it was because there probably *was* an actual bug in the system shorting things out. Real computing for real men that could pull a hot vacuum tube out of the socket with their bare hands. Et cetera. If you wanted a \"computer network\", you had to call up another computer on the phone and electrically link them together, not this crazy TCP/IP stuff with optical fibre. Turn the clock back to the 1960s, at least. \"Make Electronics Great Again.\" ", "Micro chips are for sissies, lets make chips YUUUUGE." ]

Never thought I'd see such open shilling for Big Silicon on Reddit, smh

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Bernie Sanders Calls Saudi Arabias Response To Canada Outrageous. He called Canadas criticisms \"entirely legitimate.\"", "Well, partially legitimate. They'll be entirely legitimate when we stop selling them arms.", "[deleted]", "We only get approx 9% of our oil from them... you’d think we could find a way to source that from somewhere else.", "Somewhere like... Canada?", "Once we're able to transport it from west to east, if we ever have the political will for it. In the short term I'd be fine with buying more from the States, maybe even swing it as a concession to Trumps trade war. Any way we do it, let's stop buying from the Saudis, even with their tantrum they didn't want to stop selling it to us." ]

Political will is the key alright. Would've been nice to be able to tell Saudi to stuff their oil

NOT_SARCASM

[ "I have a STEM PhD. And I earn six figures.", "A PhD in *all* STEM fields?" ]

See this is my question! Who doesn’t just say their field(s) of study?

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Classic EA", "I'm sure this will be thoroughly explained during their AMA on Wednesday. Which reminds me, gotta get some popcorn.", "Remember to sort for \"Controversial\" instead of top so EAs answers even show up.", "Would they even show up then? Reddit should add a sort by bottom option just for that thread." ]

Think I read recently that there's a new sorting option used in /r/iama that prioritizes showing comments answered by the OP regardless of score.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Discussion Nostalgia alert. I just found my old iPhone 1st Generation from over 10 years ago. Still boots, jailbroken with installer & Cydia! Full album in comments.", "Ohhhh baby, a whole 8 gigs!", "That’s half of my 6s Plus! System files take up 10gb out of 16 lmao" ]

I’m so glad Apple got rid of the 16GB base; 32 is actually usable lol

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Dead Kennedys - Nazi Punks Fuck Off Punk", "<URL> If you haven't seen the movie Green Room, check it out." ]

So good, that scene where he sticks his hand out. Christ

SARCASM

[ "Steve Jobs, Apple CEO, has died.", "Well, there goes the protest coverage." ]

god damn billionaires!! it's not always about you!

NOT_SARCASM

[ "This is how I handle a creepy PM", "IM GOING TO DO THIS AND I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD", "GO FORTH MY CHILD MAKE ME PROUD.", "WE HAVE NO NEED OF THINE FLAIL", "JUST MISGUIDED FLAME QUIVERING AT ASH" ]

how the heck did dark souls hijack this? I only recognized the line because I fought friede last night

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Being a real grown up isn’t cooking a fancy dinner, it’s having a clean kitchen when you go to bed after cooking a fancy dinner.", "I feel attacked right now. Who let you into my house?", "We are all in each other’s houses :( we’ve all been there", "ಠ_ಠ" ]

How'd you get in here? What is this, a crossover episode?

NOT_SARCASM

[ "My husband entered his first art competition and won second place in peoples choice, Im so very proud!", "He looks like he gives great hugs.", "The very best!", "Faith in your manatee restored!", "Faith in HuManatee restored! FTFY", "[deleted]" ]

Tell him a that is great drawing. I'm trying to get my motivation to draw back and I think he has inspired me.

SARCASM

[ "Remilia (Maria Creveling, ex Misfits and Renegades player) has passed away", "She was playing with qt last month on Twitch rivals, RIP", "they were so funny together, man this sucks.", "Twitch rivals group stage was splitted into two days and I just watched QT on one day. Remilia didn't sound happy during the games at all, she mentioned that she had to win games for the prize money to pay her medication, it was very rough to hear that, QT and Remi went 0-3 that day. Also she mentioned that she had no friends / family and QT tried to cheer her up by saying that their whole team was family. I wish someone could have helped her out.", ">she mentioned that she had to win games for the prize money to pay her medication What a shitty country", "Healthcare is a human right" ]

Nah I don’t wanna pay a portion of my earnings to save someone’s life. Screw those commies

SARCASM

[ "AOC quotes the bible after Sarah Sanders tells her to leave climate change to God: ‘God says to serve and protect creation’", "Bammm, roasted Huckabee. I mean really, Christian Conservatives should WANT to protect the earth if god made it.. but no, it seems like they don't get that.", "I went to a conservative Christian school in the 90s. We celebrated Earth Day. The Earth was God’s gift to us so we should be good stewards of that gift and not recklessly destroy it. They weren’t at Green Peace level but practical things like recycling, conserving water, biking to school if you can were recommended. Now wanting clean drinking water is a political statement." ]

Are you saying everyone deserves clean water!? Sounds like FILTHY FUCKING COMMUNISM

NOT_SARCASM

[ "We’re back. Here’s your Terminator: Dark Fate trailer that doesn’t give the movie away.", "[Youtube link](<URL>", "Can we expect to see you really throwing yourself into the action of this one?", "Let’s just say that during my shoot, the shares of Advil went through the roof.", "You still look like you can beat the Predator in CQC, sir! What's your weekly workout routine like?" ]

Darn that makes me want another predator movie with real writers and a director who doesent want to parody his own material.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Last Fallout 76 player officially deemed the loneliest person on earth", "Source is <URL> Cheers /u/0xnull Author is /u/Zwiezenz" ]

"...I am alone now, truly alone, and absolutely isolated from any known life. I am it" - Michael Collins, astronaut.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Bernie Sanders hitting a single at Iowa’s Field of Dreams!", "Man, are juiced at all levels this year", "Whose are juiced?" ]

I can tell you whose *aren't* if that helps narrow it down.

SARCASM

[ "A scathing new Pentagon report blames trump for the return of ISIS in Syria and Iraq", "It's almost as if trump doesn't know what he's doing at all", "It's almost as if as if his big donors want a war. See Erik Prince." ]

But why would they want that? It's not like there is profit in war or something.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Discussion The hypocrisy of this subreddit", "I completely agree. All you hear is \"price sheets shouldn't exist\". Then people offer an \"overpay\" and people are like \"You know that *said item* is more than *other item*, so you shouldn't be offering that\". Figure yourselves out guys.", "the price sheet should be in your head and obviously it should be the same for everybody, duh" ]

ITT: 15 year olds argue over virtual game item economics.

SARCASM

[ "Snowing at sea", "i remember once i was on one of the tiny islands of the Aran Islands in the West of Ireland. Our guide told us when it snows, it never sticks because of the amount of salt from the sea water constantly washing up on the island, the snow melts instantly when it lands. Duno how true that is but it sounds plausible and i found it interesting at the time", "Snow hardly ever sticks in my part of Ireland too, but that's usually due to the copious, near constant rain. We're a beautiful, green country, but that comes at a terrible price.", "I'd love to live somewhere rainy like that so long as there wasn't cold winters!", "So Ireland? Our winters are very mild, especially this year." ]

Sounds nice. How's the beer? But for real though how's that immigration policy?

SARCASM

[ "Donald trump is an Idiot, Bernie Sanders Tweets on Saturday Afternoon", "[deleted]", "Must be those pesky Chinese and their Climate Change Hoax, stealing our shorelines again!", "I mean you can see Russia from Alaska, we should really be checking there first, I suspect they’re siphoning the beaches somehow.", "Nope Russian is great and doesn't have anything to do with election interference I asked them.", "Fuck, well *thats* reassuring. Let’s make sure to cut funding to voting protection, won’t be needing that." ]

Good thing we have a National holiday to go vote.

SARCASM

[ "Chaos and bloodshed in Hong Kong district as hundreds of masked men assault protesters, journalists, residents.", "[Video](<URL>) shows a pair of patrolling police officers walked away just before the mayhem starts. 999 emergency line operators allegedly hung up on citizens who sought help. Riot police only arrived right after the armed thugs left. Edit: To all who questioned the context of the video and validity of emergency line operators hanging up, please READ the article first. You \"don't see any mayhem\" because like I said, it didn't start until there was no police presence. There are multiple videos within the article link if you so want to watch crooks dressed in white beating up innocent people.", "The thugs are probably other cops.", "Of course, who in Hong Kong actually wants to be more legally integrated to China?" ]

Clearly, the thugs in Hong Kong do. Why wouldn't they want to be deported to china and stripped for parts?

SARCASM

[ "PSG 1-3 Manchester United - Rashford 90+ (PK) (3-3 agg.)", "there is a god but he definitely hates PSG", "And Buffon.", "He's got a WC, he's fine", "He won a penalty shootout in a WC final IIRC. That is probably the greatest thing a goal keeper can achieve.", "He also had a front row seat for the greatest headbutt of all time." ]

And now that he's at PSG, one of the greatest buttheads of all time!

NOT_SARCASM

[ "FTC Says Warranty Void If Removed Stickers Are Bullshit, Warns Manufacturers Theyre Breaking the Law", "Whoever reported this for editorializing, that is literally the title of the article. Please stop spamming reports simply because you disagree with the article.", "I wish Canada could get in on some of this action. I used Samsung's online chat once, to ask a question about my Samsung Chromebook...I had to put the serial number in to get to the chat, and as soon as they saw my serial number and heard I was Canadian they **voided my warranty** because I bought it from Amazon US, and **they're not an authorized Samsung retailer for Canadian residents**! Warranty seems pointless these days, it's just a checklist of how they will screw you.", "[deleted]", "[deleted]", "This is completely fucked, what do you even do in this instance" ]

Sue the retailer, that's who the contract's with

SARCASM

[ "Ohio State sued after trying to stop sports network from using letter O in logo", "Christ no wonder everyone hates us.", "That, the whole “the” thing, that waste of oxygen buckeye guy, and more.", "Hey even us Buckeye fans hate Buck-I-Guy. Edit:spelling", "He's a customer of mine, not gonna specify for what, but he is very full of himself. acts as though we should be thrilled to have him as a costumer and should get special treatment. 0/10 do not reccomend.", "Found the coke dealer ", "I was gonna say \"escort\"." ]

Phft THE Buck I Guy wouldn't have to pay for sex. They pay him

SARCASM

[ "If this post reaches 2000 upskys. this subreddit will become a Mr Robot sub in support of Hello Games binge", "\"I admit that I was there in the beginning for drama\"...thanks for confirming my suspicions Barky. You are indeed, a perfect mod for this place. Can this be classed as self-advertising if you're linking to your own YouTube channel?", "Uh, Barky didn't make this post.", "I know \"he\" didn't, but you obviously talked about it right, got his approval?" ]

They had to get Sean's approval first.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Judge orders White House to return Jim Acostas press pass", "Posting this here for visibility and for those who want to learn about the legal precedent that this ruling was based on. Judge Kelly (a Trump appointee, not that it *should* matter) is bound by precedent set in the Sherill case which you can read here. His ruling will make much more sense after you read it: <URL> **Sherill TLDR**: In order to revoke a pass, The White House must follow the process requirements set forth in the Sherill case/Administrative Procedure Act **(written notice, opportunity for hearing over the matter)** The White House likely didn’t follow the process and that’s in part why the judge ruled the way he did. To be clear, my understanding is that this is just a temporary restoration of Acosta’s pass. P.S. I’m not a lawyer and I only know this because I was literally in the courtroom on Wednesday to listen to the arguments. Shoutout to my new buddy R, who I met at the courthouse and who helped me understand a lot of this. P.P.S: There are actually two matters at hand here. First, the legality of the process by which Acosta’s hard pass was revoked. (This is what is being discussed currently) Second is whether Acosta’s first amendment rights were violated, (That may come later in a separate lawsuit as far as I can tell) P.P.P.S For what’s it worth, I think there is a good chance that they will settle much of the rest of this out of court. It is my belief that a settlement is in the WH’s best interest to avoid further motions/decisions against them." ]

… and this had to happen before any first amendment issue could be considered. I hope people see this.

SARCASM

[ "Four year old returned to abusive mother", "Why is he being returned to his abusive mother, doesn’t make sense to me", "From the blog it looks like the father moved out of the state that the custody order was created in which may have been a violation. A parent who gets into trouble like the mother did can work to regain custody through therapy, removing themselves from the situation thanks caused them to lose custody, and getting a better lawyer. If mom has been working to improve her situation and the court thinks all is well and dad violated the order by moving without the proper process this kind of thing can happen." ]

It's always nice to see my town making the news.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "The effect of Measles on a healthy 45 year old that wasnt vaccinated in Auckland.", "this is genuinely so upsetting given how preventable this individual's suffering could have been. I received my first MMR vaccine this year (age 22). However, I am one of the rare individuals who is allergic to everything and went into anaphylactic shock and required a load of adrenaline etc upon receiving it - this is **RARE**. I wasn't allowed to get my booster, so, it me off that people are willingly choosing not to get immunised at the expense of people like me who still may be at risk. SMH." ]

With one you're still 95% safe I think so that's something

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Google announces Android 5.0 Lollipop", "\"New handy controls like **flashlight**, hotspot, **screen rotation** and cast screen controls\". Finally.", "I hope that you can customise which ones appear, not holding my breath but it would be great." ]

There were runours of just that, after parts of the code 'leaked'.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Jeffrey Epsteins autopsy more consistent with homicidal strangulation than suicide, Dr. Michael Baden reveals", "[removed]", "Such a good man. I’m so sad that he died next Tuesday. Gone too soon indeed.", "remindme! 6 days.", "Remindme! 7 days.", "Geez this is dark" ]

if it makes you feel any better the next terraria pc update is planned for tuesday

SARCASM

[ "History professor teaches about the first man in space.", "Dude was handsome af", "Apparently that’s one of the main reasons according to soviet officials why they asked him to be the first man in space. They knew his face was going to be everywhere afterwards." ]

Typical, the uglos do all the work and the prettyboy gets the credit.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Graziano The Chiefs have released Kareem Hunt.", "We'll try it out. Enjoy.", "So he definitely lied to the chiefs right?", "Chiefs put out a statement saying he lied to them." ]

but do they have a video of it

SARCASM

[ "Conor’s recent announcement", "Oh boy. Here we go again", "I hope Dana is as tired of this as we are.", "He has no one to replace him with so he can’t afford to be tired." ]

>no one to replace him >literally have olympic gold medalist Henry Cejudo on the roster wake up, man

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Black bro gets what equality is actually about", "Where White People Meet sounds like a Jeopardy clue. What is Chick-Fil-A, Alex?", "[deleted]" ]

I'm sorry but you're both wrong. The real answer is, "what is Panera Bread?"

SARCASM

[ "Thailand cave rescue: All 12 boys, coach freed, latest updates", "What awesome news and great efforts from everyone around the world. Take a moment to remember the Thai SEAL, Saman Kunan, who gave his life for this mission.", "I would expect a shrine in his honor will be built near the cave.", "That area of Thailand is really poor. I hope they build a few schools in his honor too.", "For the kids. That's what would honor his memory the best.", "One positive about all the media attention is that these kids will actually receive the medical and psychological care they need.", "If this worldwide media attention doesn't mean it follows through, then nothing will.", "The 2010 Chilean miners had worldwide media attention. Most suffer from severe PTSD now and none were compensated for their ordeal. I'm hoping this outcome is different." ]

Children are more emotive to the public. And they are resilient. I have high hopes for them. Men don't have emotions, remember?

SARCASM

[ "One of my teachers has a D.Va wrap on their entire car. I don’t know the teacher though. Sorry I had to blur their plates through Snapchat.", "Why do some heroes like dva have such loyal followers? Like I’ve never seen anyone wearing a road hog shirt.", "DVa has more easily accessible merchandise. Most \"geek trend\" stores have something in them. Plus it's also a safe play when in public. Fewer trolls and assholes around the character. Wore Hanzo leggings once and was told \"you're a shitty player because you're a woman and play Hanzo.\" Real mature to say to a complete stranger." ]

Gonna wear a Sniper shirt someday to see if people maul me. I know i would.

SARCASM

[ "Post Match Thread England 1 - Iceland 2", "Hodg***son*** It was an inside job boys" ]

roy, son of hodge has honored his fatherland by beating the scum english.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Hooray to Jennifer Aniston, whos turning 50 today. May she speak her childfree mind for another 50 years!", "Why do I have to be mothering at all?? I have no problem with a societal obligation to take care of others (as in donate to charity, do volunteer work, something of that nature) but the specific obligation to be mothering? Nah, fuck that.", "I'm mothering my cat very well, m'am. She's in a good state, soft and keeps me warm at night.", "Mine's kinda bitey. I don't know where I went wrong!", "My kitty farts on me, I know I failed him." ]

Those are love farts. You failed no one.

SARCASM

[ "The 16 year old version of you just moved in and is now your new roommate. Whats the first thing you two would fight about?", "We would fight about who's actually the oldest (I'm 16)", "Well, assuming that that would be your 16th birthday version of you, you’d be older" ]

But what if it's my birthday today

SARCASM

[ "In less than a month, net neutrality could be a thing of the past. Heroes, the internet needs you now more than ever!", "Does this effect Canada? Probably not.", "No" ]

Great, we're enjoying the status quo here of highest priced internet and the slowest speeds in the developed world

NOT_SARCASM

[ "I hope Pokémon GO will stay around for years to come. Not because of the game, but because it demands a good battery.", "Or powerbanks will have an impressive increase on sells", "Our IT guy at work was trying to buy some charge cables for company ipads at best buy on Monday. He said they were completely sold out of chargers AND powerbanks", "Work for Best Buy. Been sold out of powerbanks all week. The main problem isn't because of the frequency of purchases, it's that powerbanks were such a low priority before this, so they were never rapidly replenished. We carried 50 different kinds at wildly variable prices, so they were like \"we'll never even sell through these!\" Then the storm fell.", "Winter is here my friend", "Charzard in the North!" ]

THE NORTH HAS ONLY ONE BIRD, WHOSE NAME IS ARTICUNO

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Police warn they may use live ammo on protesters in Hong Kong", "Well this warning came in a little too late didn’t it?", "Its probably a confused time traveling news agency", "For the first time, I completely understand why America doesn’t want to let go of their guns and I agree with it. :(", "That's basically the original point of the 2nd Amendment, that you'd never lack the ability to defend yourself against an occupying power 🙄🙄, so many replies all of a sudden", "Right. Without a means of being able to defend yourself and your rights, none of the other amendments really matter." ]

Eh, freedom of speech and press are on par, without them you cant organize the resistance. Those three all rely on eachother.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Serious Americans, would you be in support of putting a law in place that government officials, such as senators and the president, go without pay during shutdowns like this while other federal employees do? Why, or why not?", "**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*", "At face value I would think it's a good idea, but I saw someone pointed out a rather logical reason why it wouldn't: basically the wealthier representatives could wait out the poorer ones.", "Worse yet, the representatives whose lobbyists have the bigger pockets can keep them afloat.", "The money in politics from lobbying is the issue. If we could somehow just be a democracy rather than treating politics like a business and see \"lobbying\" for what it is, someome paying to push their own agenda, we would be a step closer to being able to do this. Not as easy as it sounds though", "> see \"lobbying\" for what it is Bribery" ]

I just get when and how politicians have been able to hold agencies and Federal worker's hostage? Why isn't there laws to make it illegal?

SARCASM

[ "People are complaining but when was the last time they donated 45$?", "The left is a bunch of unprincipled, greedy, worthless.", "The complainers were probably watching television, partying with friends, and sleeping in while Bezos was creating a business that literally changed how we buy products and consume content." ]

I guess that means he can evade tax with impunity? good to see your laws are universally applied

SARCASM

[ "TIL the Japanese bullet train system is equipped with a network of sensitive seismometers. On March 11, 2011, one of the seismometers detected an 8.9 magnitude earthquake 12 seconds before it hit and sent a stop signal to 33 trains. As a result, only one bullet train derailed that day.", "This was the same earthquake that caused the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant disaster.", "Technically it was human error that caused the disaster...", "If you call just not building a high enough seawall human error, which I guess it could be considering they were warned of the possibility." ]

They should’ve hired trump to help them with their wall.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Trump sells Qatar $12 Billion of U.S. Weapons days after accusing it of funding Terrorism", ">The full arms sale, of over $20 billion, was notified in November 2016. This means it had already been authorized by congress and the executive branch, when President Obama was in office, before the Trump administration came into office. Eventually, Qatar is set to receive 36 American-made F15s. Yeah, I read the actual article...", "Im not a smart man so correct me if this doesnt warrant a \"thanks obama\"", "Depends on whether or not your approve of the deal. I guess that phrase is valid either way, it's just got some quantum sarcasm." ]

Why the fuck should THAT be beyond halfway down the article?

SARCASM

[ "Raikkonen runs over a pit mechanic", "Bring back fueling.", "1-stops are taking over so hard. They need to bring it back. Opens op so many strategic choices." ]

But refuelling made for boring and uninteresting races

SARCASM

[ "we are in a great debt...", "Get ready for Phase 4, it's only 3 months later", "Unless SM:FFH takes place before the events of Infinity War.", "It takes place after. It's already been confirmed.", "Even if it is it doesn't mean anything. It was confirmed that the title for A4 wasn't gonna be Endgame" ]

Because the title is Avengers Endgame, duh.

SARCASM

[ "Those damn millennials are at it again", "This isn't funny. Not because it's perceived as offensive, but because it isn't funny" ]

Oh wow so minorities cant be funny now? FUCK YOU

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Josh Gordon - Im Coming Home", "Fuck it, I'm starting him.", "*One of us*", "Gooble Gobble!!", "I'm a lock for the playoffs. Considering starting him and only him.", "I mean, I'd say it's kind of a move if your opponent is fighting for a playoff spot. Benching 8 players and taunting him with victory only to beat him with a single wide receiver is kind of mean." ]

My opponent is 2-10 (I am 10-2). Is it a move to start only Josh Gordon?

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Shout out to Bitwit for the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen! <URL>", "I don't know who Bitwit is, but the kind of guy who would meet a fan in public, and then turn around and do something like this made me subscribe.", "he does high end pc builds on youtube", "Not just high-end, but he also does quite a few budget oriented builds.", "and got a good looking wifey too", "Good looking AND active on the channel. She cares about him :)" ]

It's been fun watching her get more and more involved with the channel over the years and progressively get better at PC building as well.

SARCASM

[ "Highlight The Dolphins pull off the miraculous trick play from the goal line with a touchdown thrown by the punter Matt Haack to the kicker Jason Sanders", "One of the greatest trick plays ever. Holy shit.", "Punter no look flicks it to the Kicker for a TD. Glorious.", "Belichick just felt a disturbance in the force.", "BB: \"I have the weirdest boner\"", "Watch him have Forbath bomb a 40 yarder to Danny Shelton tonight", "[deleted]" ]

Who knows he might have been playing the wrong position his entire life.

SARCASM

[ "Tom Brady made a Tik Tok and it’s the best thing I’ve seen", "I find it hilarious that he coulda gotten blasted by at least one Jet and they all avoided touching him like he was a buck naked hobo with no teeth waddling down a bustling city sidewalk. Edit: who the hell is Kraft/Belichick/Brady/Wahlberg paying off? The refs’ union??", "dude's untouchble, literally, in the league. Aint no one daring to touch this dude." ]

They don't want to be hit with that 21K fine. Obviously... probably

NOT_SARCASM

[ "#JustSendBitch 😂😂😂", "\"You can't find it on Google.\" That's often the case with bullshit that you've just made up.", "Unfortunately, [he didn't make it up](<URL>" ]

TIL that urban dictionary is a peer-reviewed, valid source for disease reference.

SARCASM

[ "Humor Theres two kinds of people...", "I've got twenty bucks that says special snow flake doesn't have OCD.", "Guarantee it's self diagnosed" ]

Well considering that science is a tool of the patriarchy and was born from white supremacy can you really blame her?

SARCASM

[ "CDPR: Cyberpunk 2077 Has No Pre-Order Bonus So That Everyone Can Get The “Same Content”", "They really are dribbling out the damn news on this one aren't they? I swear there's been one or two articles about some 2077 'news' every day now for quite some time.", "Is CDPR doing the dribbling, or news services wanting to have a clickable article about this game every day between now and April?", "And I'd be surprised if it's not delayed further than that.", "[deleted]" ]

Well, I hope they at least add in English voice acting by release date. ....I'm sorry.

SARCASM

[ "Emery: \"Arsenals environment is all about respect. When I was at PSG , I tried to communicate in French but people were sarcastically mocking my efforts. Here at Arsenal, I speak broken English but all I hear is complementary words for putting the efforts in and trying to speak\"", "[deleted]", "It’s because us brits are useless at other languages for the most part, so are relieved when someone else does the hard work for us." ]

Everyone understands English, you just got to say it S-L-O-W-L-Y and LOUDER...

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Samsung pulls own ads after ditching headphone jack", "The moment those ads went up for the S9, I knew this day would come.", "[It isn't the first time either.](<URL>", "Fuck I miss removable batteries. Honestly I don't use my headphone jack much/at all. But fuck I miss removable batteries.", "I remember when Samsung made fun of Apple for putting the headphone jack on the bottom. Lol", "Bottom is by far the best placement for it.", "At this point I'll take any placement haha. Beggars can't be choosers.", "Halfway up the side.", "In the middle of the screen.", "Hovering in the space three feet to the left of the phone.", "Is that for a Bethesda made phone?" ]

In a little removable cable that plugs into the charging port

SARCASM

[ "QP told me to put this on reddit", "Now THESE are the type of highlights that should be on the front page" ]

No, I'm pretty sure we all want to see more Mercys pressing Q

SARCASM

[ "I dont know why I get called a Boomer. I have a gaming PC...", "does candy crush run at good fps?", "Of course, I run an Intel chip, and they have the best \"real world\" performance.", "so im new in the gaming industry, but why does \"real world performance\" matter so much? i mostly play fantasy games so im using a simulated world does that matter??", "Real world performance slides were used by Intel, after AMD slapped them around like a little sissy with their new chips. It was kind of a scandal, since Intel used laptop statistics for what is considered \"real world\" to compare against AMD's desktop parts, which often times get used for more intensive workflows.", "And here i am still on an i7 from 2010 and gtx560m on ddr2 RAM." ]

> ddr2 are you 90 years old?!?

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Pigeon Simulator 2019", "For a second I forgot about the other simulator games. I saw this gameplay and thought “Oh this is neat. Just flying around, running into things, exploring a city. Very relaxing.” And then the fucking hotdog cart exploded.", "My first thought was, \"I better be able to shit on things.\"", "same! would also appreciate the ability to spread disease and steal people’s chips", "You don't need a game to do either of those, go live out your dreams.", "I’m now anti-vaxx and I steal Doritos, but only the small bags and only the regular corn chips. Some people think this is a horrible way to live life, I just tell them it’s a short life 🤷🏽‍♂️" ]

Its not really a long life if you’re anti-vaxx.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Men of Reddit, what are somethings a mom should know while raising a boy?", "You will not believe how much he'll eat as a teenager." ]

I read this as “You will not believe how much he’ll eat as a teenager”

SARCASM

[ "Too real", "Hello. I am also a team that lost by double digits to Nova.", "Can we start a support group?" ]

You know, if you had just been more disciplined on defense, that wouldn't have happened.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Illumix is the best company on this planet", "This confirms sex is canon to FNaF.", "might put a dampener on the whole \"Michael looks pretty much exactly like William bc William reproduced via mitosis\" theory", "Yeah that also kida debunk the theory that William is god and he created all the human race so everyone and everything in the planet earth is a robot." ]

I want that theory to be true. *wistful sigh*

NOT_SARCASM

[ "SERIOUS Would you reduce your meat consumption if lab-grown meat or meat alternatives were cheaper and tasted good? Why or why not?", "**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*", "Sure. If it's cheaper I'll use it wherever texture permits, especially if it means no more dealing with bones, gristle and gross tubey things.", "My childhood was ruined by those tubey things... and those weird chewable salmon bones that come in tinned salmon.", "Never had tinned salmon and now I never will.", "Fuck that noise. Get some canned salmon and make some beautiful salmon patties.", "Yeah, it's pretty good breaded and fried. I like it dipped in ketchup, others prefer tartar sauce.", "In Mississippi folks eat them for breakfast and dip in syrup. Not my particular jam-I’ll stick with eggs.", "My Mom literally made these with eggs for breakfast for me this morning because I'm sick. I asked for oatmeal.", "Do you eat with syrup? I’m an old lady who’s never had a salmon croquette.", "Yes ma'am, she insisted. I haven't had them in ages, and it was delicious.", "My grandma used to make them with mashed potatoes and creamed peas. Plop down a spoonfull of mashed potatoes, put a fried salmon patty on top, and then a ladle full of creamy peas to top it all off. Yummy. Those were the good ole days." ]

I just really love that you said yes ma'am. Reminds me of home in Louisiana

SARCASM

[ "Our group Halloween costume this year...", "I'm trick or treating as a Safety House" ]

I bet you get *all* the kids!

NOT_SARCASM

[ "This is Arnaud Beltrame, a French police officer who swapped himself for a hostage today and is now fighting for his life", "Dear regulars & visitors from /r/all. Thread is now unlocked again, if you have any complaints regarding how we handled this case please take them to [modmail](<URL> or /r/Europemeta. We've also woken up to news that Col. Arnaud Beltrame has [died of his wounds this morning](<URL> may he rest in peace. To quote a user who sent this via PM during the night (I hope he doesn't mind): >Officer Beltrame represents the best of us. His sacrifice and willingness to put himself where he did shows how we need to respond to this: With love for one another and a willingness to sacrifice for humankind that stands in contrast to their willingness to destroy. Please try to be respectful in general and mind our [subreddit rules](<URL> ______ *Previous sticky message below:* Dear visitors from /r/all: We're sorry to say but due to it being night time in Europe at this point in time (and weekend!) the moderation team that's around right now has decided to lock this thread for the night due to the amount of already increasing rule violations. It will be reopened in the morning, hopefully with good news in this case specifically. Let's all hope he pulls through. <3 Kind regards, -the mod team of /r/Europe.", "He also had the presence of mind to leave his phone lying around with an open line so his colleagues could hear what was going on inside.", "Yep. And the journalists were stupid enough to reveal this bright idea.", "Please tell me this isn't true. I know they have form, during the other supermarket terrorist incident in France they broadcast that there was people hiding in the freezers, I would have thought they learned their lesson.", "About the yesterday attack, the journalists told afterwards that bright idea. But they told it anyways, so the next crazies will now know about that trick. When I wrote my initial comment , I had indeed in mind that supermarket event in mind." ]

Yeah, but so will hostages. It's probably a wash.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "HALO INFINITE - E3 2018 - ANNOUNCEMENT TRAILER", "This is the one. EDIT: to win the karma race.", "<URL> If anyone was wondering, confirmed as a direct sequel to Halo 5... so Halo 6.", "Tbh I had hoped that they would keep the numbering up until Halo 7", "I agree. Why stop numbering now? Lol. Weird, but whatever. Still stoked." ]

It could be a bridge between Halo 5 and Halo 6 similar to Assassin's Creed 2,Brotherhood, Revelations.

SARCASM

[ "Iraqi Parliament Votes to Expel All American Troops and Submit UN Complaint Against US for Violation of Sovereignty. \"What happened was a political assassination. Iraq cannot accept this.\"", "If the chatter on social media is true, trump asked the Iraqi PM to mediate with Iran on our behalf. Soleimani traveled to Iraq for that purpose, and we killed him. That is not a good look, especially if we knew why he was there. What the actual fuck. URL This is a Washington Post reporter in Baghdad, not some rando. ETA: Here is another journalist (Atlantic, Guardian) with the same reporting: URL ETA2: And another from NPR: URL", "I love how a deep state blogger asked for a source from Jane Arraf, and she responded with essentially, \"The Iraqi PM is the source.\" EDIT: Also, holy shit!" ]

Iraqi PM is a deep state liberal out to get trump obviously

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Tesla Turns Power Back On At Childrens Hospital In Puerto Rico", "You don't see Edison doing that.", "He would electrocute Puerto Rico to demonstrate what happens when you use Tesla." ]

<URL> "They'll say 'Awww, Topsy' at my auuuuuutopsy..."

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Vettel taking off a Mercedes cap on a kid, replaces it with a Ferrari cap", "TIL how to steal a driver's cap." ]

1) Be a kid. 2) Wear a rival driver's hat 3) ... 4) Profit

SARCASM

[ "Chinese poster for Spirited Away, to be screened for the first time in China", "This is legit one of my favorite movies ever", "Same. This and princess mononoke are probably my two favourite animated movies of all time", "the best thing about ghibli films is that no 2 people have the same top 5, and that is perfectly valid, since all the movies are amazing", "Miyazaki films, probably. But I would argue glibli as a whole are FAR less reliable. I found Whisper of the Heart to be rather forgettable and Tales from Earthsea to be actually unwatchable. I watch a lot of movies and basically always watch them from beginning to end regardless of how I feel about them in order to get a full opinion of them. But with Tales from Earthsea both me and my wife couldn’t get through more than half an hour or so; it’s just so violently boring. Half an hour in and the story didn’t even feel like it started yet, and the first 10 minutes or so was just exposition that was explained in a few seconds by another character a little later. It was so boring it made me angry. Based on those 2 movies, I tend to avoid non Miyazaki Ghibli, although I also own Pom Poko which I am yet to watch; I hope it bucks the trend" ]

Fuck you man, tales from earthsea is my favorite miyazaki film

SARCASM

[ "Those Meddling Kids", "I just read *The Silver Eyes* last week and I actually told my husband, \"This is some Scooby-Doo garbage here.\"", "how dare you call scooby-doo garbage?" ]

Unfortunately, I've always hated Scooby-Doo. I won't apologize for it.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Macron wins French presidency by decisive margin over Le Pen", "Feast your eyes upon our [electoral map](<URL> !", "That's something Macron can whip out when he visits the White House.", "Yup. Get Trudeau in there too, cuz as an American, I would like nothing more than to see the international community fight back against this shitty surge of nationalist ignorance, and shady bullshit.", "Yikes, that's like some Reagan-Mondale type domination." ]

Yeah, except for all the social justice and tolerance !

NOT_SARCASM

[ "These three ceiling fans run off of one motor", "This was the original design for ceiling fans. At one time, they all worked this way.", "And grampa had to sit in the corner peddlin'", "Want some air movement? That's a peddlin'.", "A cool breeze on a hot day? Thats a peddlin'.", "Peddlin’ the school fan? You better believe that’s a peddlin'" ]

Urks raid your ancestral home? That's a grudgin'.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Twenty-Two Attorneys General Sue The FCC Over Net Neutrality Repeal", "It's nice to see they're actually trying to do something about it." ]

Yeah, imagine that.. politicians actually caring about people. Never thought I’d see the day. Next up is to get clown out of office.

SARCASM

[ "Josh Rosen on the attention he got for unfollowing the Cardinals: “I wonder if I unfollow Parley for the Oceans a climate change awareness group, that will bring the same kind of attention for their organization, and maybe we can save the planet.”", "Rosen roasted Steve Smith and Peter Schrager in this statement. Lol" ]

Better be careful! Roasting Steve Smith is a good way to wind up with a broken jaw! ...kinda

SARCASM

[ "Thanks Telus. Youve billed me $5 for 1kB of data that my bill shows I didnt use. Since you cant answer your phone (2h on hold today), here I am trying to reach you on Reddit.", "Contact the wireless ombudsman and in 30 days you should have a response. They reversed my charges and gave me a $50 credit for my time. URL", "What the heck? I had no idea a representative was called ”ombudsman”. It’s actually a Swedish word (and therefore probably Danish/Norwegian as well).", "Just looked it up (I am danish) it is from swedish, but is commonly used in Danish aswel... Good job svenskjävel" ]

> it is from swedish Which is exactly why we *don't* use that word in Finland

SARCASM

[ "What are some of the most interesting 24/7 live-streaming webcams to watch from around the world?", "The NASA Livestream from the ISS (International Space Station). Technically not 24/7 because you can't see when the Space Station is on the night side of the earth (half the time, 45 minutes at a time) or when there is a loss of signal. [ISS Livestream with live map of the position of the Space Station](<URL>)" ]

This isnt really live. They have to edit it for round Earth propaganda.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "People who pile on generic YouTube comments like “Who’s watching in 2019”, why do you do this?", "To get likes, just like how people make generic reddit comments to get upvotes", "Youtube likes don't even accumulate into a total like count, unlike reddit karma", "True but I can see someone totally enjoying their little moments of YouTube comment fame", "Plus they get a notification \"X liked your comment\" - YEY, MOMMY, LOOK , BILLY LIKED MY COMMENT." ]

Oh they do? I only get it like every 3 months and then I notice I have 60 likes on some comment.

SARCASM

[ "Haynes Free agent forward Kawhi Leonard will sign with the Los Angeles Clippers, league sources tell Yahoo Sports.", "Wait so every reporter has no credibility Edit:Apparently only woj has crediblity. Double edit: [Posts that didn't age well](<URL>)", "Woj does. He said Clippers until the end.", "Lakers fans told me Clippers were out of the running tho?" ]

Why would anyone sign with the Clippers when the Lakers have so much history

SARCASM

[ "\"Ashley Massaro recently died. Her affidavit when she sued WWE includes her being encouraged by Vince McMahon not to report that she was drugged and raped by US military staff while on tour in Kuwait. Content warning - this is sickening reading. \"", "RVD was right to not volunteer to perform for the troops", "RVD just always seems to have a good head about him anyways." ]

Smoked pot though. Lock that man up and throw away the key!

SARCASM

[ "Merry Christmas Y’all", "Please tell me someone shushed him though!", "You must be real fun at parties" ]

Shoulda put the and yes I’m the obvious guy

NOT_SARCASM

[ "heh", "I hate when i see people saying that you should put your unwanted child to be adopted rather than aborting.. as if living in a foster care is awesome and the dream of every child :T", "As if the adult woman who has to endure nine grueling months of pregnancy, carrying a child she doesn't want and possibly suffering permanent life-altering physical effects doesn't matter at all.", "Well she has to pay for having the chutzpah to be having s-e-x. For fun. The unmarried hussy. And that kid, that kid needs to pay for being born from sin. If we provide all these women with actual alternatives to motherhood, like family planning or *gasp* being childless by choice, they might start thinking they have value beyond their genitals. Can you imagine that? A bunch of uppity women with bodily autonomy?", "Sounds pretty dangerous. Letting people put themselves first and make their own choices? Picking careers? Letting them think they’re more than just incubators?? Sounds like human rights or something to me...", "Bunch of liberal bullshit" ]

Ok, I think I have finally found my people xD

SARCASM

[ "Anyone having issues with ESPN fantasy?", "\"Please ensure you have a strong internet connection\" Really ESPN you're trying to blame me for your shitty app?" ]

Are you holding your iPhone correctly? Problems are usually with the user, not the technology

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Ah yes", "Me when my $370 motherboard comes with a coaster", "My $299 asrock taichi x570 came with a fucking postcard... Wtf am I gonna do with that", "As if you're ever leaving the house after buying that bad boy", "Lot of high res redditing", "[deleted]" ]

oh fuck i forgot about spacedicks. thanks for the reminder...

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Fuck CNN, having hockey in Las Vegas is a big deal.", ">fuck CNN Really you could have stopped there", "Fox news is biased against liberals. MSNBC is biased against conservatives. CNN is baised against news.", "Like Obama said, \"Jake Tapper left journalism to join CNN.\"", "\"I admire CNN's dedication to covering all angles of a story, in hopes that one of them is accurate\" was also hilarious.", "That is why they just hired Corey lewandowski as their political \" commentator\"", "Are you serious?" ]

Like they know jack shit about hockey anyway. Fuckin assholes.

SARCASM

[ "If you could eliminate a race within the year, which would it be, and why?", "This will be amusing if it hits /r/all Edit: Hi /r/all :)", "Why is that?" ]

He's right, I was thinking Americans, because we are just kind of a potluck of people and not one race.

SARCASM

[ "During a community event a man explains about racism that his son experiences daily. Other man responds with racism", "Theres alot of comments in support, I find that more than strange when the mans point is null. The father isnt critiquing all of america he is clearly pointing out that theres a bullying issue in the school. Kinda sad to see what kinda bottom dwellers arise when given the chance to flaunt their bigotry...", "Exactly! He wasn’t criticizing the USA; he was criticizing the bullying." ]

But bullying is a cherished tradition in this country, like baseball and thanksgiving.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Netflix announces series where \"sleeper cars\" race supercars for bragging rights", "No one from Detroit says \"I'm from \"DEEtroit.\" This looks like one of those shows where they take five minutes of footage and turn it into a 90 minute special.", "Yep, a few minutes of racing and the rest of the show is contrived drama, no thanks." ]

I'm always amazed at how many different camera angles it takes to make a lambo run a 58 second 1/4 mile.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "“Its official! Binding of Isaac: Repentance is the FINAL (for real this time) DLC for isaac. it will include the amazing Antibirth mod + a ton more content that will make you shit your butts! im working along side @FixItVinh to tweak the mod and make it canon!“", "NL's life just extended 2 years!", "At this point that's just extending infinity. Kinda redundant. It prob extended hutts tho, this is gonna be a big spike for him." ]

I agree about Hutts. Honestly seemed like he was getting tired of BoI so this will probably bring him back in all the way.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "3/2 Alphelios vs Full HP enemy team", "All 5 overextended. Any farther than the Nexus turrets is trolling.", "If you leave base you’re inting bro and I’m reporting your noob for it" ]

Still can be killed in fountain...unless you're dc. Now that's strategy

SARCASM

[ "trump Home Alone 2 scene cut from Canadian Christmas broadcasts", "It was edited before he was POTUS, it's common on TV spots to save time.", "And the article mentions this." ]

Hrmmm, the CBC reporting on the CBC, very interesting.

SARCASM

[ "Bernie Sanders unveils plan to boost broadband access, break up internet and cable titans: “We are going to take on the greedy internet, telecom, and cable monopolies and put an end to their absurd price gouging”", "Fair wages? Employees rights? Consumer protections? A medical system that won't put you into crippling debt? What are those? Are they delicious?" ]

No, that's socialism and socialism is bad.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "My dog destroyed her toy cactus, and there was another sad cactus inside", "This company not only understands dogs but also gave the value of two toys in one.", "There is probably a bill inside the sad one.", "Maybe a coupon for a new one", "Brb starting new business Nesting doll dog toys with a 25% coupon at the center", "Great concept until your dog eats it. It changes to 10% off when it hits the colon", "Brb gonna hire a lawyer just in case", "A dog lawyer or a shit lawyer? Because I recommend you hire both, or keep one on retrainer.", "Retain shit. Fire the dog. Hit the lawyer. Got it.", "Instructions unclear. Dog stuck in lawyer.", "well, at least its not the other way around, you'd have to get a new lawyer.", "Instructions unclear; dog is giving lawyer a colonoscopy" ]

Given that happens when dogs mate, I think you have more interesting problems on your hands now.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "Bernie Sanders Pledges Legal Marijuana In All 50 States On Day One As President", "Why stop at marijuana? All drugs should be decriminalized for adults.", "I agree but not through that mechanism", "You think Legalizing crack & heroin would be a good idea?", "Yeah, for two reasons. 1. The bans in place don’t actually work and only lock up non-violent addicts 2. People own their bodies, and should be able to do whatever they want with it" ]

Wow, an actual libertarian argument on /r/libertarian. What a rare sight.

NOT_SARCASM

[ "As promised, I ate my hat for Reddit because Columbus swept Tampa", "**Mirrors/Alternate Angles** ^^^issues? ^^^contact ^^^/u/pacefalmd", "Now I’m worried about the guy who said he’d eat his", "Canucks sub had a guy that said he'd eat his own dick, obviously didn't do it after getting harassed in every post he commented on he complained to the mods and then eventually abandoned his account. Kinda funny but kinda sad.", "this story is the internet in a nutshell. love it.", "just the last sentence is humanity in a nutshell" ]

Over promise and under deliver, that's the human way

SARCASM

[ "It really do be like that", "this is still not that good. the original solution did work and there was no need for city get involved.", "but if the stairs break and someone dies?", "What if hitting your head on concrete kills you but the softer wood just a harmless bruise?", "What if no stairs and the dirt gives way, rolls your ankle and you fall backwards and end up paralyzed for life!" ]

That’s natural events, no man made constructions to blame. It was meant to be.

SARCASM

[ "President Donald trump thinks Scientology should lose its tax-exempt status in the United States", "These people should be thrown in jail. Physical and emotional abuse, false confinement, extortion, fraud, cover-up of sexual abuse, harassment, libel, practicing medicine without a license. Revoking their tax exemption is a miniscule step in the right direction. Throw the book at them." ]

I'm sure Joel Osteen didn't do all of that? Seems such a standup guy.

SARCASM

[ "Pope Francis pledges $50M to end the Amazon wildfires. Nah just kidding, he just wants people to pray.", "Don't forget to send the thoughts with those prayers." ]

Popes thoughts are elsewhere, he is just one dude you know

NOT_SARCASM

[ "My dad waits every year for the day the sun rises just right and reflects along the railroad tracks, Today was that day!", "If he waits every year, does he have other photos of this?", "Here you go! 2012, 13, 14 <URL> <URL> <URL> Bonus Related Pictures <URL> <URL>", "Fantastic stuff, but this year's is certainly his best!", "We agree!", "It's perfectly timed to show the right amount of brightness from the sun but still be able to make out more of the scenery on the ground. And the greenery makes for great contrast." ]

That's what I always say! The greenery makes for great contrast. Need more!