shuttie/reddit-dadjokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

input stringlengths 11 502	output stringlengths 6 565	instruction stringclasses 1 value
We used to call them 'food fights'...	... but kids today call them 'all you can yeet buffets'...	Continue a dad joke:
Desmond Tutu was so famous they named next year after him	Too soon?	Continue a dad joke:
I bought a small table for my bedroom but it broke the next day	Guess it was just a one night stand	Continue a dad joke:
I took down the Christmas tree today	Not to be sappy, but…	Continue a dad joke:
I lost my dictionary	and now I just can't find the words to describe how I feel about that.	Continue a dad joke:
Got my son with some stinky food	Had leftover pad thai, and my wife said something that sounded like "I put my alarm in your food" and I did a double-take and asked her to repeat it. What she actually said was "I put my lime in your food", and my 11 yr old son looked at me with a weird expression and asked "Is that a recipe for disaster?"	Continue a dad joke:
A cat would never let you know what their favorite tree is	But a dogwood	Continue a dad joke:
My wife tried forcing me to use the bait for fishing.	That's a can of worms I don't want to open.	Continue a dad joke:
I started taking gummy vitamins	They’re Lifesavers.	Continue a dad joke:
What is the most popular font used by Italian doctors?	Ginotype	Continue a dad joke:
Happy new year guys	I haven’t taken a poo since last year	Continue a dad joke:
Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand?	Because a toothbrush works better.	Continue a dad joke:
Christopher nolan is my new roommate	More of a Tenet though	Continue a dad joke:
I heard Dubai just celebrated New Year's	I thought it was Dubai now.	Continue a dad joke:
A new sport idea	There should be a version of boxing where the ring is divided into sections. Once you cross a certain line, you can only hit your opponent. That's the punchline.	Continue a dad joke:
How do you tell the snowmen from the snowwomen?	The snowballs	Continue a dad joke:
I got sent to find an untamed ornithoid without cause	It was a wild goose chase.	Continue a dad joke:
LPT: If you're visiting New Orleans and can't afford to stay in the French Quarter	Try a cheaper neighborhood like the French Dime or French Nickel.	Continue a dad joke:
Why do kids watch cartoons?	I mean, most of them have little to nothing to do with cars. A bit of false advertising if you ask me.	Continue a dad joke:
I've got a joke about time travel	But you didn't like it	Continue a dad joke:
What concert only cost $.45	50 cent ft nickel back	Continue a dad joke:
I'd like to wish you all a Happy Last Year!!	Cause, ykno...after midnight...it'll be 2020 too...	Continue a dad joke:
I left my speaker under my pillow at night	Must have been the Bluetooth fairy!	Continue a dad joke:
Today I learnt the periodic table off by heart.	You might say I was really in my element.	Continue a dad joke:
What did the man that got hit by a pendulum say?	This hertz.	Continue a dad joke:
Remember to stand up at lift your left leg at 11:59 tonight.	So you can start 2022 on the right foot.	Continue a dad joke:
I saw a blackbird going crazy the other day.	It was a raven lunatic..	Continue a dad joke:
Where to find multiple judgemental people?	Courts	Continue a dad joke:
Some people laugh at my bank statement	Banks eat poop.	Continue a dad joke:
A cheese factory exploded in France,	De Brie was everywhere!	Continue a dad joke:
Why did the cop stick a toothpick in the kid he caught with a marijuana cigarette	He wanted to know if he was half baked	Continue a dad joke:
How did the dad justify buying a boat	There was a sail	Continue a dad joke:
I don't want to get all cheesy, but I just wanted to say	Happy gruyère!	Continue a dad joke:
Why does Manuel Neuer smile during the New Year	He feels pressure since everyone in the world says “Happy Neuer”.	Continue a dad joke:
My art teacher told me I mixed colors together to make the best shade of purple she's ever seen!	I guess I have a bright fuchsia; and although I've tried mixing other colors together, I always go back to the fuchsia. That's all for now folks have a great	Continue a dad joke:
Finally, I achieve New Year resolution	Just bought a new full HD screen	Continue a dad joke:
I’m not going to stop making next year jokes until	Next year!	Continue a dad joke:
My New Year's resolution is to think outside the box.	That was my resolution for last year as well.	Continue a dad joke:
In a surprising announcement the government has stated with all the issues recently instead of going forward in time we will go back 2 years...	It will be 2020 too!	Continue a dad joke:
I only have a single package of milk left	And it has to last until the end of the year :(	Continue a dad joke:
Oh man I’m so smelly I haven’t had a shower all year!	Happy NY /r/dadjokes	Continue a dad joke:
What is the Grinch's favorite musical group?	The Who	Continue a dad joke:
What are two things you need to be a successful doctor?	Patients and patience	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call it when you put vinegar on your fries but then taste it and wish you hadn't?	Vinaigrette	Continue a dad joke:
What did the melon say when the Strawberry proposed?	I can't-elope.	Continue a dad joke:
My wife said she's going to leave me if I don't stop telling llama jokes	Alpaca bags	Continue a dad joke:
Why is a bee's hair sticky?	Because they use honeycombs.	Continue a dad joke:
I once had a teacher with a lazy eye.	She couldn't control her pupils.	Continue a dad joke:
I walked by a series of large spider webs.	It was a no fly zone.	Continue a dad joke:
I went to a psychic I knocked on her front door.	She yelled: "Who is it?" So I left.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call people who have dated many people before	Ex-perts	Continue a dad joke:
It's not Little Debbie Cakes anymore.	She's a CPA.	Continue a dad joke:
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.	He got pulled under by a strong current.	Continue a dad joke:
Why a traveler never gets furious	because they are a no-mad	Continue a dad joke:
Short Order Cooks on New Year's Eve	Let me make a toast.	Continue a dad joke:
What kind of food is always stoned?	A Pot Roast	Continue a dad joke:
Optometrists on New Year's Eve	everybody raise your glasses.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call a fake injury on New Year's Eve?	Sham pain	Continue a dad joke:
Yall heard about the new corduroy pillows?	They are making headlines.	Continue a dad joke:
My friend is so paranoid that he started wearing a tinfoil hat.	I don’t know what he’s thinking anymore.	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear that Elon Musk had to cancel his New Years Eve party on Mars?	Apparently he didn’t have enough time to planet.	Continue a dad joke:
Why are old mushrooms always richer than young mushrooms?	Because they always start out s’poor.	Continue a dad joke:
There was an old man of Blackheath, who sat on his set of false teeth	Said he with a start, "Oh, Lord bless my heart... I have bitten myself underneath!"	Continue a dad joke:
I’m so good at sleeping…	I can do it with my eyes closed	Continue a dad joke:
Never give up on your dreams	Keep sleeping.	Continue a dad joke:
I don't consider myself a helicopter dad, but if I were	would I be sfathering my kid?	Continue a dad joke:
What do vampires sing on new years?	Auld Fang Syne!	Continue a dad joke:
I think people forget how environmentally friendly the Pokemon World is	They've had EV's since the beginning	Continue a dad joke:
What’s the smallest splinter, but hurts like hell?	A splinter cell	Continue a dad joke:
For 2022, I’m going to keep the same resolution as last year	1920x1080	Continue a dad joke:
From my 8 year old - what do you get when you put a ginger ale on a stick	A lollipop!	Continue a dad joke:
All I can afford to eat are jam sandwiches	Two pieces of bread jammed together.	Continue a dad joke:
Did you now that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?	Yeah. Proof: 10+10=20 and 11+11=22	Continue a dad joke:
What did the Leper say to the prostitute?	That was great, keep the tip.	Continue a dad joke:
How do you steal a sweater?	You jacket	Continue a dad joke:
Is this sub dead?	I haven’t showered all year!	Continue a dad joke:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?	Because it was always one away!	Continue a dad joke:
What did 50 cents do when he was hungry	make change	Continue a dad joke:
Why can't a leopard hide?	Because he's always spotted.	Continue a dad joke:
Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?	To start off the new year in a cool way.	Continue a dad joke:
My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating	But I’ll wait until tomorrow to start.	Continue a dad joke:
Did you hear about the cows that were sent up to space	The steaks have never been higher	Continue a dad joke:
You guys are so last year!	Sincerely, New Zealand	Continue a dad joke:
And a special message for all those coronaviruses out there: take it easy in 2022, buddies.	don't strain yourself, ok?	Continue a dad joke:
Have you heard the gossip about the butter.	I would tell you but I don't want to spread it.	Continue a dad joke:
We lost to 2020 last year	Because 2021, but next year we will have another chance against it, because 2022	Continue a dad joke:
My cat was just sick on the carpet	I don’t think it’s feline well.	Continue a dad joke:
Knock knock	Who's there? Smellmup	Continue a dad joke:
I don't care that i cut my finger when chopping cheese.	I have grater problems to worry about.	Continue a dad joke:
Where can you get chicken broth in bulk?	The stock market.	Continue a dad joke:
Is this sub still active?	There hasn't been a single post this year!	Continue a dad joke:
Had to have a chat with my dog about his behavior	his response was rough.	Continue a dad joke:
One from my daughter (5) Daughter: Dad, whats your name?	Daddy nose nothing.	Continue a dad joke:
In 2022, I intend to only get sick on work days	Call it a weekend immunity	Continue a dad joke:
TIL the swordfish has no natural predators to be afraid of	...the penfish, which is thought to be mightier.	Continue a dad joke:
I was at the dinner table with my mum when I was younger, I told her ‘when I’m older I want to drive a linguini’	She started laughing hysterically and replied ‘you mean Lamborghini, it’s pronounced Lamborghini’ then continued to laugh:	Continue a dad joke:
My son just asked me if I've seen the dog bowl	I said I didn't know that he could but it sounds pretty impressive.	Continue a dad joke:
Oh man, I'm so tired I could sleep until next year	Happy new years all, 10:30pm clocking off in New Zealand.	Continue a dad joke:
Why aren't there any good stoner cow jokes?	Because high steaks are rare and never well done.	Continue a dad joke:
What do you call a pie maker who is interested in politics?	A member of Pie-liament	Continue a dad joke:

We used to call them 'food fights'...

... but kids today call them 'all you can yeet buffets'...

Continue a dad joke:

Desmond Tutu was so famous they named next year after him

Too soon?

Continue a dad joke:

I bought a small table for my bedroom but it broke the next day

Guess it was just a one night stand

Continue a dad joke:

I took down the Christmas tree today

Not to be sappy, but…

Continue a dad joke:

I lost my dictionary

and now I just can't find the words to describe how I feel about that.

Continue a dad joke:

Got my son with some stinky food

Had leftover pad thai, and my wife said something that sounded like "I put my alarm in your food" and I did a double-take and asked her to repeat it. What she actually said was "I put my lime in your food", and my 11 yr old son looked at me with a weird expression and asked "Is that a recipe for disaster?"

Continue a dad joke:

A cat would never let you know what their favorite tree is

But a dogwood

Continue a dad joke:

My wife tried forcing me to use the bait for fishing.

That's a can of worms I don't want to open.

Continue a dad joke:

I started taking gummy vitamins

They’re Lifesavers.

Continue a dad joke:

What is the most popular font used by Italian doctors?

Ginotype

Continue a dad joke:

Happy new year guys

I haven’t taken a poo since last year

Continue a dad joke:

Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand?

Because a toothbrush works better.

Continue a dad joke:

Christopher nolan is my new roommate

More of a Tenet though

Continue a dad joke:

I heard Dubai just celebrated New Year's

I thought it was Dubai now.

Continue a dad joke:

A new sport idea

There should be a version of boxing where the ring is divided into sections. Once you cross a certain line, you can only hit your opponent. That's the punchline.

Continue a dad joke:

How do you tell the snowmen from the snowwomen?

The snowballs

Continue a dad joke:

I got sent to find an untamed ornithoid without cause

It was a wild goose chase.

Continue a dad joke:

LPT: If you're visiting New Orleans and can't afford to stay in the French Quarter

Try a cheaper neighborhood like the French Dime or French Nickel.

Continue a dad joke:

Why do kids watch cartoons?

I mean, most of them have little to nothing to do with cars. A bit of false advertising if you ask me.

Continue a dad joke:

I've got a joke about time travel

But you didn't like it

Continue a dad joke:

What concert only cost $.45

50 cent ft nickel back

Continue a dad joke:

I'd like to wish you all a Happy Last Year!!

Cause, ykno...after midnight...it'll be 2020 too...

Continue a dad joke:

I left my speaker under my pillow at night

Must have been the Bluetooth fairy!

Continue a dad joke:

Today I learnt the periodic table off by heart.

You might say I was really in my element.

Continue a dad joke:

What did the man that got hit by a pendulum say?

This hertz.

Continue a dad joke:

Remember to stand up at lift your left leg at 11:59 tonight.

So you can start 2022 on the right foot.

Continue a dad joke:

I saw a blackbird going crazy the other day.

It was a raven lunatic..

Continue a dad joke:

Where to find multiple judgemental people?

Courts

Continue a dad joke:

Some people laugh at my bank statement

Banks eat poop.

Continue a dad joke:

A cheese factory exploded in France,

De Brie was everywhere!

Continue a dad joke:

Why did the cop stick a toothpick in the kid he caught with a marijuana cigarette

He wanted to know if he was half baked

Continue a dad joke:

How did the dad justify buying a boat

There was a sail

Continue a dad joke:

I don't want to get all cheesy, but I just wanted to say

Happy gruyère!

Continue a dad joke:

Why does Manuel Neuer smile during the New Year

He feels pressure since everyone in the world says “Happy Neuer”.

Continue a dad joke:

My art teacher told me I mixed colors together to make the best shade of purple she's ever seen!

I guess I have a bright fuchsia; and although I've tried mixing other colors together, I always go back to the fuchsia. That's all for now folks have a great

Continue a dad joke:

Finally, I achieve New Year resolution

Just bought a new full HD screen

Continue a dad joke:

I’m not going to stop making next year jokes until

Next year!

Continue a dad joke:

My New Year's resolution is to think outside the box.

That was my resolution for last year as well.

Continue a dad joke:

In a surprising announcement the government has stated with all the issues recently instead of going forward in time we will go back 2 years...

It will be 2020 too!

Continue a dad joke:

I only have a single package of milk left

And it has to last until the end of the year :(

Continue a dad joke:

Oh man I’m so smelly I haven’t had a shower all year!

Happy NY /r/dadjokes

Continue a dad joke:

What is the Grinch's favorite musical group?

The Who

Continue a dad joke:

What are two things you need to be a successful doctor?

Patients and patience

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call it when you put vinegar on your fries but then taste it and wish you hadn't?

Vinaigrette

Continue a dad joke:

What did the melon say when the Strawberry proposed?

I can't-elope.

Continue a dad joke:

My wife said she's going to leave me if I don't stop telling llama jokes

Alpaca bags

Continue a dad joke:

Why is a bee's hair sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

Continue a dad joke:

I once had a teacher with a lazy eye.

She couldn't control her pupils.

Continue a dad joke:

I walked by a series of large spider webs.

It was a no fly zone.

Continue a dad joke:

I went to a psychic I knocked on her front door.

She yelled: "Who is it?" So I left.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call people who have dated many people before

Ex-perts

Continue a dad joke:

It's not Little Debbie Cakes anymore.

She's a CPA.

Continue a dad joke:

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.

He got pulled under by a strong current.

Continue a dad joke:

Why a traveler never gets furious

because they are a no-mad

Continue a dad joke:

Short Order Cooks on New Year's Eve

Let me make a toast.

Continue a dad joke:

What kind of food is always stoned?

A Pot Roast

Continue a dad joke:

Optometrists on New Year's Eve

everybody raise your glasses.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call a fake injury on New Year's Eve?

Sham pain

Continue a dad joke:

Yall heard about the new corduroy pillows?

They are making headlines.

Continue a dad joke:

My friend is so paranoid that he started wearing a tinfoil hat.

I don’t know what he’s thinking anymore.

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear that Elon Musk had to cancel his New Years Eve party on Mars?

Apparently he didn’t have enough time to planet.

Continue a dad joke:

Why are old mushrooms always richer than young mushrooms?

Because they always start out s’poor.

Continue a dad joke:

There was an old man of Blackheath, who sat on his set of false teeth

Said he with a start, "Oh, Lord bless my heart... I have bitten myself underneath!"

Continue a dad joke:

I’m so good at sleeping…

I can do it with my eyes closed

Continue a dad joke:

Never give up on your dreams

Keep sleeping.

Continue a dad joke:

I don't consider myself a helicopter dad, but if I were

would I be sfathering my kid?

Continue a dad joke:

What do vampires sing on new years?

Auld Fang Syne!

Continue a dad joke:

I think people forget how environmentally friendly the Pokemon World is

They've had EV's since the beginning

Continue a dad joke:

What’s the smallest splinter, but hurts like hell?

A splinter cell

Continue a dad joke:

For 2022, I’m going to keep the same resolution as last year

1920x1080

Continue a dad joke:

From my 8 year old - what do you get when you put a ginger ale on a stick

A lollipop!

Continue a dad joke:

All I can afford to eat are jam sandwiches

Two pieces of bread jammed together.

Continue a dad joke:

Did you now that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

Yeah. Proof: 10+10=20 and 11+11=22

Continue a dad joke:

What did the Leper say to the prostitute?

That was great, keep the tip.

Continue a dad joke:

How do you steal a sweater?

You jacket

Continue a dad joke:

Is this sub dead?

I haven’t showered all year!

Continue a dad joke:

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because it was always one away!

Continue a dad joke:

What did 50 cents do when he was hungry

make change

Continue a dad joke:

Why can't a leopard hide?

Because he's always spotted.

Continue a dad joke:

Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?

To start off the new year in a cool way.

Continue a dad joke:

My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating

But I’ll wait until tomorrow to start.

Continue a dad joke:

Did you hear about the cows that were sent up to space

The steaks have never been higher

Continue a dad joke:

You guys are so last year!

Sincerely, New Zealand

Continue a dad joke:

And a special message for all those coronaviruses out there: take it easy in 2022, buddies.

don't strain yourself, ok?

Continue a dad joke:

Have you heard the gossip about the butter.

I would tell you but I don't want to spread it.

Continue a dad joke:

We lost to 2020 last year

Because 2021, but next year we will have another chance against it, because 2022

Continue a dad joke:

My cat was just sick on the carpet

I don’t think it’s feline well.

Continue a dad joke:

Knock knock

Who's there? Smellmup

Continue a dad joke:

I don't care that i cut my finger when chopping cheese.

I have grater problems to worry about.

Continue a dad joke:

Where can you get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market.

Continue a dad joke:

Is this sub still active?

There hasn't been a single post this year!

Continue a dad joke:

Had to have a chat with my dog about his behavior

his response was rough.

Continue a dad joke:

One from my daughter (5) Daughter: Dad, whats your name?

Daddy nose nothing.

Continue a dad joke:

In 2022, I intend to only get sick on work days

Call it a weekend immunity

Continue a dad joke:

TIL the swordfish has no natural predators to be afraid of

...the penfish, which is thought to be mightier.

Continue a dad joke:

I was at the dinner table with my mum when I was younger, I told her ‘when I’m older I want to drive a linguini’

She started laughing hysterically and replied ‘you mean Lamborghini, it’s pronounced Lamborghini’ then continued to laugh:

Continue a dad joke:

My son just asked me if I've seen the dog bowl

I said I didn't know that he could but it sounds pretty impressive.

Continue a dad joke:

Oh man, I'm so tired I could sleep until next year

Happy new years all, 10:30pm clocking off in New Zealand.

Continue a dad joke:

Why aren't there any good stoner cow jokes?

Because high steaks are rare and never well done.

Continue a dad joke:

What do you call a pie maker who is interested in politics?

A member of Pie-liament

Continue a dad joke: